Happy Valentine’s Day Boycott Day! Every year on Valentine’s Day, MRAs around the world unite in a sacred ritual: the annual Valentine’s Day Blaming of the Ladies parade.
For, you see, Valentine’s Day is little more than a plot by the ladies to extract fancy chocolate and diamonds and other pricey romantic goods from the world’s men. That’s why, for the past I’m-not-going-to-look-up-the-number of years, the lady hating radio personality Marc Rudov has been trying to get other men to boycott the holiday to show the ladies of the world what’s what.
And plenty of manosphere dudes, from MRAs to MGTOWers, are happy to join in. I’ve highlighted some of their silliness in previous Valentine’s Day posts here, here and here. But, though I mentioned it, I never really did full justice to the denunciation of V-day that a certain Paul Elam posted on A Voice for Men a couple of years back.
Let’s take a look, shall we?
Elam starts off with a brief statement of his overall thesis:
Valentines Day is to be avoided for what it is; a socially coerced day of hyper-entitlement for a generation of princess leeches.
See card above. (Pretty good, huh? I ACTUALLY FOUND A VALENTINE’S DAY CARD FEATURING A LADY LEECH!!)
[I]f you think loving someone means your wallet comes out while her purse remains closed then you will delighted to know that A Voice for Men will be selling monogrammed knee pads in the near future. All we need is the circumference of your knees and what sort of flooring is in your bedroom. We expect an endorsement from Joe Biden.
Actually, I just checked the A Voice for Men store, and the promised knee-pads are nowhere to be found. Though the John The Other mugs, sporting “JtO’s signature chainsaw,” look lovely! (And what better symbol of AVFM’s steadfast stance against violence than a lumberjacking tool also famous for its use in cinematic massacres!)
It’s not long before Elam turns his attention to that infamous slogan of a certain jeweler which MRAs seem to think originated as a feminist bumper sticker: “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”
It would be better to say that every blowjob begins with Kay. After all, those full, moist lips they are promising you on the ad can go in quite a few places, and likely will if the tennis bracelet has enough carats.
That’s right fellas: Forget the old “Whitman’s Sampler” box of chocolates and wilted roses bought at the grocery store on the way home from work because you forgot it was Valentine’s Day. These days. each and every woman in America expects a diamond-encrusted tennis bracelet picked out by a dude who has no idea what sort of jewelry she likes. (Reward: One blowjob, the only one you will get all year.)
But underneath all this is something actually a little darker. Not all men are getting blowjobs and other forms of sex for the presents on Valentines Day so much as they are getting a reprieve from constant nagging and criticism, if they happen to get the right present. Nobody wants to talk about it, but Valentines Day, for far too many men, is actually Lighten Up and Don’t be such an Insufferable Bitch Day, but only if you get the present right.
Ah, the Blaming of the Ladies parade is in full swing! Next up, the Entitled Bitches Who Are Sort of Like Winos float, sponsored by A Voice for Men.
It is not just a matter of entitlement, but one of self esteem. And as most readers of this site already know, anyone who depends someone else making a trip to Zales or FTD in order to feel good about themselves has serious fucking issues. Feeding that on Valentines Day is like handle a bottle of Jack Daniels to your local sot.
He is only going to come back looking for more, and he won’t quit till his liver gives out.
All this talk of winos gets Elam thinking about the good old days, when he worked with substance abusers, and evidently spent much of his time trying to get them to blame women for all of their problems.
I used to counsel groups of men. It was a tough job getting them to be honest about women because of fears that putting reality on the table would drive women away. But with time almost all of them came to admit their constant frustrations with the pressures to to keep pleasing their women, especially where it concerns materialism. …
Almost without exception the men who were the most frustrated with financial pressures were also men who had entered those relationships wallet first, making sure Princess felt like a princess every minute of the day.
In other words, they went fishing with stink bait and caught bottom dwellers. And then they ended up silently stewing over it.
They got exactly what they paid for and nothing less.
What a wonderful counselor you must have been, Paul. So much empathy. So much insight. So much caring.
So, gentlemen, if you want your kisses to begin with Kay, please allow me to suggest a prostitute, or at least a woman that admits that is what she is. They may not actually kiss you, but I am thinking their skills in the fellatio department are considerably more developed. And when they are done they will go away!
How cool is that?
For Elam, every kiss begins with rage.
Well, if he’s doing the pursuing then it sounds like the men aren’t all that interested either.
Also, why would anyone want vintage chocolates? Chocolate does keep that long.
I’m so sorry you all had to experience a Dragon Slayer post. Please rewatch this adorable owl melodrama you’ve probably seen quite a few times to clear your brains. If it’s your first time you’re even luckier!
*doesn’t
@Kim how old is vintage chocolate? I used to think vintage == antique >=100 years old, but the definition of vintage seems to depend on the type of item under discussion. For example, vintage jewellery seems to be older than vintage clothing.
And the owls are sooo cute. We have at least one morepork living near us, and often hear her calls.
@Kim
Is it just me, or has the honeycomb in Violet Crumbles gone from “not as awfully sweet and soft as honeycomb in similar chocolates, and a little paler” to “hellishly tasteless rocklike off-white honeycomb-flavoured stuff that shears off reluctantly if you’re willing to risk a tooth on it*”? Violet Crumbles used to be a favourite of mine, then I shifted to Crunchies because of that, then I lost my sweet tooth and moved to other things.
*possibly exaggerating
“Vintage chocolates” is the kind of dumbassery you come up with when you randomly throw words together in an attempt to sound more witty and urbane than you actually are.
Could a reasonably sugar-free (i.e. very dark) chocolate conceivably keep for longer, like a cheese or a wine? Possibly with some sort of alcholic element?
It might, but it certainly wouldn’t get any tastier over time.
CassandraSays, have I ruffled your feathers? So sorry. You should call up one of your beta satellites and order them to order you some comfort food.
…Why do all the trolls get the CassandraSays focus? I mean, half of them being Mr Al explains some of it, but still!
Aw, look, I’ve upset him. I guess none of the men he’s pursuing are interested enough to comfort him.
Hi Dragon Slayer, I am a woman and I would like to tell you about my Valentine’s Day.
I got up at 7am and worked for 12 hours (from home). My partner was off work so he slept in, and I made myself some toast at around 10. He got up around 11. At 12 I made us a pot of tea to share, and at about 1 he made us beans on toast, which I ate while still working. At 2, one of his friends came round because my partner was helping him move some speakers he’d just bought. We had a cuppa and listened to a record, then they set off around 3. My partner got home at about 5 and we watched some TV. At 6 he made some mashed potato and reheated a pie we’d had for dinner the night before, and we ate it for dinner again. At 7, he went out again to go to a meeting about a show we’re putting on, and I got ready to go out. At 9, we met at the train station. I had brought him a bottle of cider that was in the kitchen to drink on the train. We met six of our friends on the train, because we were going to watch the punk band that four of them are in play a gig. The four of us that weren’t in the band were literally the only ones there, but we still had a lot of fun messing about. I bought my partner a drink and he bought me one. Then we got the train home, and two groups of guys separately decided to try take the piss out of us. They stopped when me and the other woman started taking the piss out of them though. Then two of our friends stayed the night at our house because they’d missed the last trains back to theirs.
Please enlighten me as to how I am doing it wrong and being an entitled princess, I’d like your feedback.
Oh wait, I forgot to add that when we went to bed we did sexing (very quietly, since we had guests), which I initiated. So a bit more than flashing my side boob.
@lowquacks
It seems the same as always to me. I prefer them to crunchie’s because I like to dip them in hot beverages to melt the chocolate, and crunchie honeycomb dissolves way too fast.
Again: overused mass-media tropes =/= reality.
So which romcoms/erotic novels portray Valentine’s Day the way you just described? I ask because I’m sure you wouldn’t just repeat popular stereotypes in lieu of actually watching or reading the genres you’re criticizing…
When I was growing up my parents would use “Valentine’s Day” and “Generosity Day” interchangeably. They told me and my brother it was a day to be extra generous to the people you love, whether through kind words or a nice note or a little present if you so desired. I still really appreciate that because it took the whole gender and relationship part of the day out of the equation: it was just a day to show love to the people in your life!
So we had a pretty equal V-Day this year. Neither of us received flowers, or chocolate, vintage or edible. Mr. Snide made me brunch at his house (eggs benedict with latkes and smoked salmon, best ever) and we watched “Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill” and went for a walk ’cause it was nice out. Then he went to work and I went home and practiced for an audition I have coming up, and then I went to his favourite restaurant (named, seriously, “Hot Italian Sandwiches”) and picked up his favourite sandwich and a big jar of olives and cannoli and a Brio (grossest pop in the world but he loves it) and brought it to him during his supper break. and he was super happy!
and we both gave presents: I got us tickets to see “The Book Of Mormon” when it comes to Toronto in April, and he gave me jewelry. Yes, yes, I’m a gold-digging whore getting jewelry from my boyfriend (it was a cuff and earrings with Gallifreyan designs on them and I love them).
it’s like it doesn’t occur to MRAs that the options are not “FLOWERSCANDYHEARTSCHAMPAGNEDIAMONDS” or “THIS DAY IS STUPID AND WE WILL NOT ACKNOWLEDGE ITS EXISTENCE”. there’s also “hey! I like it when my partner feels loved and cared for! A day to do something a little extra nice? Cool beans!”
“it was a cuff and earrings with Gallifreyan designs on them and I love them” — excellent taste!
I went around sonic’ing my mother (she has a thing about not pointing my sonic screwdriver at her, because it makes noise? Idfk) — exchanging stupid bathroom humor with my brother (this is every day) — avoiding my father (also standard).
My parents did fuck all, with my mother even joking that when her boss asked if anyone had big plans she said no, she’s married, nobody to impress anymore.
My grandfather did swipe some Hershey’s bite size candies from the senior center for us though 🙂
So yeah, we got free candy because the senior center was handing it out and my diabetic grandfather can’t eat it…we’re all such entitled princesses!
Chocolate anyone? My stash is going to go vintage at this rate! (This is my brain on chocolate before chocolate btw, my apologies!)
Argenti Aertheri,
he really does have swell taste! these are them: http://24.media.tumblr.com/d0d5c240c5e1d35be9f81902d62029c0/tumblr_mi8b8vMDWk1qzv1j7o1_1280.jpg
and I’m pretty sure eating candy that your grandpa gives you is pretty much the definition of “entitled princess” 🙂 because chocolate. and seniors’ centre. and misandry. …
@KittySnide (awesome, btw)
They’d have to actually care about women to want them to feel loved and cared for, and women are icky. 🙂
@KittySnide
Those are gorgeous! Mr. Snide has excellent taste!
Lowquacks: Queensland cassowaries and anthropomorphic leeches? One of my childhood’s favorite films had both:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fern_Gully
The plot is clichey, but animation is cool (It’s like a cartoon version of Avatar) and the rainforest ecology is presented in a detailed, sorta-realistic way that’s highly unusual for a children’s movie. Seriously, where else can you see (brief glimpse of) a singing chorus of leeches?
KittySnide — those are wonderful! And lol at the senior center being misandry, he loves his bingo! (Though he hasn’t quite caught on that the lady who insists on talking to him is attempting to flirt, it’s kind of cute)
@Some Gal, thanks! 🙂 he is just excellent!
and it’s super weird, right? It’s like they’ve never actually interacted with people in happy relationships, or met anyone who wasn’t a character in a bad romcom.
you know, I do know people who do some variation of “he makes her dinner and buys her presents and pampers her” on Valentine’s Day, but they tend to be conservative evangelical types who have fairly hierarchal/”complementarian” views of marriage. so he cooks dinner on Valentine’s day (and her birthday and later on maybe Mother’s Day) to give her a “night off” because she does the cooking the rest of the time. it’s his (still sexist, but it’s not my relationship so whatevs) way of showing her love and appreciation.
I think MRAs have a lot of self-loathing issues, so the idea that someone could possibly love them enough to *want* to do nice things for them is unbelievable, and they project it like WHOA onto all women everywhere.
Argenti Aertheri,
that’s so cute! I love seniors’ centres. I used to go to the one in my hometown every Sunday, and play the piano and sing hymns with the folks who missed their Amazing Graces and I’ll Fly Aways. It was so much fun! and seniors’ centres are scandalous and hilarious places sometimes! I would so watch a dramady about the goings-on at one. “Mountainview: Love. Scandal. Rice Pudding.”