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For MRAs, Valentine’s Day is “a socially coerced day of hyper-entitlement for a generation of princess leeches.”

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Happy Valentine’s Day Boycott Day! Every year on Valentine’s Day, MRAs around the world unite in a sacred ritual: the annual Valentine’s Day Blaming of the Ladies parade.

For, you see, Valentine’s Day is little more than a plot by the ladies to extract fancy chocolate and diamonds and other pricey romantic goods from the world’s men. That’s why, for the past I’m-not-going-to-look-up-the-number of years, the lady hating radio personality Marc Rudov has been trying to get other men to boycott the holiday to show the ladies of the world what’s what.

And plenty of manosphere dudes, from MRAs to MGTOWers, are happy to join in. I’ve highlighted some of their silliness in previous Valentine’s Day posts here, here and here. But, though I mentioned it, I never really did full justice to the denunciation of V-day that a certain Paul Elam posted on A Voice for Men a couple of years back.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

Elam starts off with a brief statement of his overall thesis:

Valentines Day is to be avoided for what it is; a socially coerced day of hyper-entitlement for a generation of princess leeches.

See card above. (Pretty good, huh? I ACTUALLY FOUND A VALENTINE’S DAY CARD FEATURING A LADY LEECH!!)

[I]f you think loving someone means your wallet comes out while her purse remains closed then you will delighted to know that A Voice for Men will be selling monogrammed knee pads in the near future.  All we need is the circumference of your knees and what sort of flooring is in your bedroom. We expect an endorsement from Joe Biden.

Actually, I just checked the A Voice for Men store, and the promised knee-pads are nowhere to be found. Though the John The Other mugs, sporting “JtO’s signature chainsaw,” look lovely! (And what better symbol of AVFM’s steadfast stance against violence than a lumberjacking tool also famous for its use in cinematic massacres!)

It’s not long before Elam turns his attention to that infamous slogan of a certain jeweler which MRAs seem to think originated as a feminist bumper sticker: “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”

It would be better to say that every blowjob begins with Kay. After all, those full, moist lips they are promising you on the ad can go in quite a few places, and likely will if the tennis bracelet has enough carats.

That’s right fellas: Forget the old “Whitman’s Sampler” box of chocolates and wilted roses bought at the grocery store on the way home from work because you forgot it was Valentine’s Day. These days. each and every woman in America expects a diamond-encrusted tennis bracelet picked out by a dude who has no idea what sort of jewelry she likes. (Reward: One blowjob, the only one you will get all year.)

But underneath all this is something actually a little darker.  Not all men are getting blowjobs and other forms of sex for the presents on Valentines Day so much as they are getting a reprieve from constant nagging and criticism, if they happen to get the right present.  Nobody wants to talk about it, but Valentines Day, for far too many men, is actually Lighten Up and Don’t be such an Insufferable Bitch Day, but only if you get the present right.

Ah, the Blaming of the Ladies parade is in full swing! Next up, the Entitled Bitches Who Are Sort of Like Winos float, sponsored by A Voice for Men.

It is not just a matter of entitlement, but one of self esteem.  And as most readers of this site already know, anyone who depends someone else making a trip to Zales or FTD in order to feel good about themselves has serious fucking issues.  Feeding that on Valentines Day is like handle a bottle of Jack Daniels to your local sot.

He is only going to come back looking for more, and he won’t quit till his liver gives out.

All this talk of winos gets Elam thinking about the good old days, when he worked with substance abusers, and evidently spent much of his time trying to get them to blame women for all of their problems.

I used to counsel groups of men. It was a tough job getting them to be honest about women because of fears that putting reality on the table would drive women away.  But with time almost all of them came to admit their constant frustrations with the pressures to to keep pleasing their women, especially where it concerns materialism. …

Almost without exception the men who were the most frustrated with financial pressures were also men who had entered those relationships wallet first, making sure Princess felt like a princess every minute of the day.

In other words, they went fishing with stink bait and caught bottom dwellers.  And then they ended up silently stewing over it.

They got exactly what they paid for and nothing less.

What a wonderful counselor you must have been, Paul. So much empathy. So much insight. So much caring.

So, gentlemen, if you want your kisses to begin with Kay, please allow me to suggest a prostitute, or at least a woman that admits that is what she is. They may not actually kiss you, but I am thinking their skills in the fellatio department are considerably more developed. And when they are done they will go away!

How cool is that?

For Elam, every kiss begins with rage.

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The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

I just assume that everyone knows his site.

Hyperbole again? Because, nope.

Artemis
Artemis
11 years ago

I (female) spent far more time planning, gifting and sexing (Well planning for it:P) my beautiful partner than he did for me and I really don’t care. I prepared everything to SHARE with him, complete with recreated events for nostalgia! It was about showing him that I remember our wonderful rich history of being together, to celebrate the now and to cement that I want to continue our journey together.

So the MRA article on the ‘purpose of V-day’ didn’t represent my experience of it at all : / and I deplore the whole tit-for-tat view that so many people take on v-day….I mistakenly read a ‘mens-mag’ the other day that suggested ‘cheap-dates’ for v-day and the ‘rewards’/ ‘compensation’ they should expect to get for the cost of said cheap date….O.O ….super romantic guys! -.-

chocomintlipwax
11 years ago

I wonder what they think about the practice in Japan, where girls give boys chocolate on February 14, and boys reciprocate on March 14.

They would love the original version where there was no White Day and women just gave men chocolate (even though their incomes pretty much peak at the age of 24 even today … I wish I could find that chart again). Including the “giri choco” (obligation chocolate) you have to give to your boss and coworkers and such.

Then someone made White Day (late 70s or so), which was invented by a department store to sell more shit. Basically.

The rule with White Day is that if the lady got you something, you need to reciprocate, and it needs to be worth 3x the amount she spent on you. Which makes much more sense income-wise, apart from the whole “giri choco” thing going on in the first place.

So I have a feeling that this incarnation is something the MRAs would hate. Actually, they’d probably call any woman who gave them giri choco a “gold-digging whore.” (And I specify giri choco because it sure as heck wouldn’t be out of any kind of love. NO NAMA CHOCO FOR YOU.) Then whine that they “had to” get her something nicer and how unfair it is and blah blah blah …

Ellex
Ellex
11 years ago

MRAs are the medium-unaware minor antagonists. They don’t know we’re in metafiction so they just rant and rage with impotence, providing dark comic relief for the hypothetical reader in this metaphor.

Oh wow! Well put. But I was speaking more from the MRA POV than a larger POV. The MRA has his script in hand, handily labeling all the characters with neat little Dickensian-esque descriptive names. But no one else has a copy of the script. So the MRA doesn’t understand why, when he plays his part and says his lines, he doesn’t get the reaction his script tells him he should get. The rest of us are trying to tell the MRA that we aren’t actually actors in a play, this is real life dude, but he’s not listening.

I could take this metaphor much more in depth, but it’s late here and I spent way too much brain effort today pondering the inability of the Susquehanna County, PA mapping office to add and subtract simple numbers.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

“The MRA has his script in hand,”

I don’t think it’s scripts these guys have in their hands.

/fifteen year old

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
11 years ago

Boy, Elam sounds like quite a pleasant person to be around.

“Hey Paul, doing anything for Valentine’s Day?”
“Of course not! Why would I want to celebrate a day that stokes the egos of nasty hyper-entitled leeches?”
*backs out of room*

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

It’s hard to believe this guy’s been married. (Not sure how many times, though.)

Ellex
Ellex
11 years ago

I don’t think it’s scripts these guys have in their hands.

Just checked back in and saw this. You made me sporfle my coffee out of my nose!

Bostonian
11 years ago

I am not a Heterodyne, but I do love that comic!

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

@Crumbelievable

Elam would probably find a way to work frothing misogyny into adopting a small, adorable, life-affirming baby animal.

(Elam should not adopt a small, adorable, life-affirming baby animal, or a large, ugly, despair-inducing adult animal either.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Just checked back in and saw this. You made me sporfle my coffee out of my nose!

Success! XD

::hands Ellex tissues::

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

For V-Day, me and hubby… got a sandwich. (To be fair, it was a REALLY good sandwich, at a restaurant we’d never been to.)

It’s kinda a shame, because my husband would be a TOTAL V-Day fluffbucket, if the day weren’t the hardest day of the year for him, emotionally. (Past history.) Ash Wednesday is a happier day for him.

Dragon Slayer
Dragon Slayer
11 years ago

V-Day sucks because women have been spoiled by a culture of female entitlement, which extends from pop culture to federal law. Thanks to horseshit like modern romcoms and vagina-wettening erotic novels, these days your average women thinks of Valentine’s Day as an extension of her birthday. It’s expected that her selected partner/manservant will provide her with a $95 bouquet of flowers, bed and breakfast, bed and lunch, an expansive selection of vintage chocolates, and a five-star meal in the evening. In return, she’ll sit on her pile of entitlement, smug and complacent, and at the end of the day she might flash her manservant some side boob.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

And we all know exactly how well Wagon Layer understands the average woman.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

How many “average women,” or any women at all, have you ever met, Draggin’? Because I’ve known an awful lot and none of them, self included, have that attitude or anything like it.

Really, don’t let it bother you that you’ll never have a relationship with a woman to disprove all this nonsense. You seem so invested in it that you’d have to have a complete personality change* to live with another human being. It’ll be much simpler for all concerned if you just GYOW. Believe me, you won’t be missed.

*or personality acquisition, in this case

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

“Wagon layer” heheheheh

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Don’t leeches cure diseases though? If you’re going to take medieval views on psychology and gender roles you may as well go the whole way.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

A knight went with his ass and wagon,
all brayin’ and kickin’ and slaggin’.
All across the land
people sensed it and ran,
for what makes such a stench but a dragon?

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Also, not terribly related to anything being discussed, but can I show you all this documentary on the amazing, adorable, and ZOMG so misanderistical Southern Cassowaries of Queensland? Most wonderful birdies ever. David’s pronunciation is interesting too – “cassa’wries” reminds me of the posh British “med’sin”, a bit.

If you’ve ever been around cassowaries, the nonchalance with which the people and presumably camera crew in this act around cassowaries in this is also amazing, and if you’ve ever seen emus or ostriches (or presumably rheas? Never seen one properly, me), the slight differences and nuances in movements between the birds is really cool to observe.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

It really is sad when a person comes to hate the thing they want but can’t have, isn’t it? Someone should buy Draggy an ice cream cone, maybe that’ll make him feel better.

Dragon Slayer
Dragon Slayer
11 years ago

I am bisexual, and exclusively pursue men. If women learn to behave more respectably, I may grant them my interest.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

Please continue on your present path, but expand your exclusion zone to include the majority of men too. All of the men who I know deserve better.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
11 years ago

E’s a reg’lar gent, this ere one.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

I am finding his obviously pitiful life quite amusing. You know how cruel we women are, after all.

Kim
Kim
11 years ago

I asked my boyfriend not to get me flowers, $95 worth or otherwise, then I took him out to dinner at a nice restaurant, and even got us both a chocolate for dessert.

He did buy me a Violet Crumble today though without me asking him to, so obviously I am selfish and entitled.