Happy Valentine’s Day Boycott Day! Every year on Valentine’s Day, MRAs around the world unite in a sacred ritual: the annual Valentine’s Day Blaming of the Ladies parade.
For, you see, Valentine’s Day is little more than a plot by the ladies to extract fancy chocolate and diamonds and other pricey romantic goods from the world’s men. That’s why, for the past I’m-not-going-to-look-up-the-number of years, the lady hating radio personality Marc Rudov has been trying to get other men to boycott the holiday to show the ladies of the world what’s what.
And plenty of manosphere dudes, from MRAs to MGTOWers, are happy to join in. I’ve highlighted some of their silliness in previous Valentine’s Day posts here, here and here. But, though I mentioned it, I never really did full justice to the denunciation of V-day that a certain Paul Elam posted on A Voice for Men a couple of years back.
Let’s take a look, shall we?
Elam starts off with a brief statement of his overall thesis:
Valentines Day is to be avoided for what it is; a socially coerced day of hyper-entitlement for a generation of princess leeches.
See card above. (Pretty good, huh? I ACTUALLY FOUND A VALENTINE’S DAY CARD FEATURING A LADY LEECH!!)
[I]f you think loving someone means your wallet comes out while her purse remains closed then you will delighted to know that A Voice for Men will be selling monogrammed knee pads in the near future. All we need is the circumference of your knees and what sort of flooring is in your bedroom. We expect an endorsement from Joe Biden.
Actually, I just checked the A Voice for Men store, and the promised knee-pads are nowhere to be found. Though the John The Other mugs, sporting “JtO’s signature chainsaw,” look lovely! (And what better symbol of AVFM’s steadfast stance against violence than a lumberjacking tool also famous for its use in cinematic massacres!)
It’s not long before Elam turns his attention to that infamous slogan of a certain jeweler which MRAs seem to think originated as a feminist bumper sticker: “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”
It would be better to say that every blowjob begins with Kay. After all, those full, moist lips they are promising you on the ad can go in quite a few places, and likely will if the tennis bracelet has enough carats.
That’s right fellas: Forget the old “Whitman’s Sampler” box of chocolates and wilted roses bought at the grocery store on the way home from work because you forgot it was Valentine’s Day. These days. each and every woman in America expects a diamond-encrusted tennis bracelet picked out by a dude who has no idea what sort of jewelry she likes. (Reward: One blowjob, the only one you will get all year.)
But underneath all this is something actually a little darker. Not all men are getting blowjobs and other forms of sex for the presents on Valentines Day so much as they are getting a reprieve from constant nagging and criticism, if they happen to get the right present. Nobody wants to talk about it, but Valentines Day, for far too many men, is actually Lighten Up and Don’t be such an Insufferable Bitch Day, but only if you get the present right.
Ah, the Blaming of the Ladies parade is in full swing! Next up, the Entitled Bitches Who Are Sort of Like Winos float, sponsored by A Voice for Men.
It is not just a matter of entitlement, but one of self esteem. And as most readers of this site already know, anyone who depends someone else making a trip to Zales or FTD in order to feel good about themselves has serious fucking issues. Feeding that on Valentines Day is like handle a bottle of Jack Daniels to your local sot.
He is only going to come back looking for more, and he won’t quit till his liver gives out.
All this talk of winos gets Elam thinking about the good old days, when he worked with substance abusers, and evidently spent much of his time trying to get them to blame women for all of their problems.
I used to counsel groups of men. It was a tough job getting them to be honest about women because of fears that putting reality on the table would drive women away. But with time almost all of them came to admit their constant frustrations with the pressures to to keep pleasing their women, especially where it concerns materialism. …
Almost without exception the men who were the most frustrated with financial pressures were also men who had entered those relationships wallet first, making sure Princess felt like a princess every minute of the day.
In other words, they went fishing with stink bait and caught bottom dwellers. And then they ended up silently stewing over it.
They got exactly what they paid for and nothing less.
What a wonderful counselor you must have been, Paul. So much empathy. So much insight. So much caring.
So, gentlemen, if you want your kisses to begin with Kay, please allow me to suggest a prostitute, or at least a woman that admits that is what she is. They may not actually kiss you, but I am thinking their skills in the fellatio department are considerably more developed. And when they are done they will go away!
How cool is that?
For Elam, every kiss begins with rage.
It’s interesting to see that the MRAs compare women to leeches- I thought it was pretty common knowledge that a leech bite leaves the victim with a mark not unlike that of the Mercedes-Benz logo- and hey, dudes like cars, right?
http://www.biopharm-leeches.com/clinical.html
I’m being reminded of the “MRAs believe that women are adults” slogan and also remembering how offensive I and many other women find the Valentine’s Day crap which is marketed to us. One Valentine’s Day a few years back I remember a flatmate of mine receiving a parcel bigger than she was (about 4’10 inches tall) and being elated to open it and find it contained what must have been one of the biggest teddy bears ever made, embroidered with a heart and “I LOVE YOU” in huge letters. I also remember thinking “That’s hideous- if any guy bought something that tacky and naff for me I’d dump him immediately”.
Anyway, I’ve got my mister some nice thoughtful presents, we’re going out for a nice meal which we’re both going to pay for, and I’m going to serenade him. I don’t care what he’s got me as long as it isn’t a 5′ teddy bear embroidered with “I WUV OOOOO”.
Falconer — yeah I got my brother a fart card for Christmas. He does communicate with bodily functions though, so it was fitting. I have up trying to find one for my father, but he gets all pissy that anyone wasted money on him, so fuck it.
That Vulcan would also conclude that men have no functional memory and are so prone to violence that women have to do everything possible to appease them or they might accidentally rape someone…yeah, the fart jokes are far less offensive than that shit.
Growing a cat = adorable!
I keep reading VD as standing for venereal disease. 🙂
For Valentine’s Day I’m going to try to not give my boyfriend this nasty cold I have. But aside from being willing to go out to dinner while sick, I’m not doing anything special (and I did the same thing for the Dark Knight Rises anyways. :p)
Thank you, kiwi girl, glad I’m not the only one!
@Argenti: Yeah, I wrote in it “Care Instructions: Place in sunny spot. Pet frequently.”
I couldn’t find a similar one for my mom, whose birthday is Discount Chocolate Day. I got her a card with a dog holding a basket of flowers, dusted in glitter.
I don’t know what I’m going to get for my brother later on next week.
My parents are Aquarians, me, my brother, and my beloved are all Pisces.
@the Stepford Knife
It may be tacky to you Sbut I would be charmed by a giant teddy bear that I could use as an emergency back up bed.
It just annoys me when people act like there’s something wrong with doing Holiday Stuff. People should do what they want and if most people want to do something romantic on Valentine’s Day then there’s nothing wrong with that.
@katz:
*snap snap snap snap snap snap*
I’m kind of enjoying #feministvalentines. Also, I <3 all the non-trolls here, but I'm not getting you cards, jewelry or flowers — and I'm keeping the chocolate for myself.
😉
This was a nice one:
I shouldn’t post 3 times in a row, but my sister sent me this as a valentine.
katz — nawh, if all parties involved want to do it, enjoy!
And don’t get me wrong, I love Halloween, I gave out something like $50 in candy and pissed my father of by refusing to put an age cap on it (I’m 27, I sat out there in a pirate costume, I am not going to be the one to tell teenagers that they’re too old for Halloween, you’re never too old for costumes!)
I’m with cloudiah, I <3 y’all, but idk on sharing the chocolate…one each should leave plenty though! (So. Much. Chocolate.)
Wait. Today the boyfriend and I went to a mattress store and picked out together a new bed that we’ll share in our apartment. So, by MRA logic, do I still owe him oral sex?
Ranter: You owe him oral sex for picking out a mattress, as well as for hunting the mammoth to feed you. However, if you actually perform oral sex on him, you are a slut. If you don’t perform oral sex on him, you are a slut too. It’s complicated.
@Ranter: If I were you, I wouldn’t worry about who’s obliged to eat whom.
You should probably put the mattress through its paces tonight, though 🙂
VD
Don’t give the gift that keeps on giving
I had that poster back in the seventies. I have taken a dim view of Valentines Day ever since.
http://www.foodista.com/blog/2013/01/22/grumpy-cat-valentine-cookies-are-a-sassy-sourpuss
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/grumpy-cat
Barentain Dei is a good day to show your feelings for your number 1 crush:
http://youtu.be/hFxVZiCvwkM
Find someone with dentures! 😉
I’d say Elam’s a fucking idiot, but I suspect him being a non-fucking idiot is part of his troubles. He’s so fixated on other people’s sex lives, or what he imagines about them, and so much of his rantings just scream ENVY. Some counsellor … not just victimising men seeking help, but trying to victimise women through them. I would bet serious money that he knows nothing of happiness or kindness or pleasure outside his pathetic sadistic fantasies of hurting women. Donald Duck would be a better counsellor than this loser.
On the
Obligation DayValentine’s Day matter – yeah, not fond of the commercialism, any more than with Christmas or Easter. Fortunately it can’t affect Mr K and me. We had a lovely Valentine’s – the printable bits involved playing Scrabble, him making up a word and insisting it was real, me saying it wouldn’t be in the dictionary, him doing a faux-standing-on-his-dignity line about not having a dictionary in the house, me saying he does ‘cos I’ve used it, chasing each other around the study to get said dictionary, me saying word X isn’t in there, him scribbling word X in dictionary with pencil, me chasing him to get dictionary back, and silently calling on Katie for help. We got back to the lounge and she was sitting looking smug on the scattered remains of the Scrabble game. Mr K then declared there was a conspiracy against him and we played chasey up and down the stairs.Only material (well, over There) present involved was a waistcoat I made for him.
Entitled princess? No, wildly happy queen. And king, ditto.
::blows giant raspberry at Hallmark, diamond companies and the MRM::
HAHAHAHA I can only fucking imagine how utterly MISERABLE mra’s are on valentines day.
I dislike Valentine’s Day for a lot of the ways it’s commercialization reinforces kyriarchal bullshit narratives, but I DO appreciate a day that gives me an excuse to make obnoxious crafts with confetti and lace and glitter and bake delicious chocolate goodies. These MRAs are sort of half-right in pointing out that the gender essentialism of this day is problematic, but as usual, totally off the mark on how the problem is caused and how best to go about solving it. It’s not that hard to do stuff for people you care about to show them you care, without it costing an arm and a leg. But of course, doing something implies knowing and caring about your partner’s likes and dislikes, which is also something they stand against.*
*not that anyone is required to do anything at all for the day (which is also an annoying aspect of the day, no one should feel required to show affection, partnered or no), but I’m living proof that even if you’re a penny pincher with some objections to the way VDay is celebrated in western culture, you can still do something totally sweet for your SO if you want to, without breaking the bank or going against your ideals.
DING DING DING we have a winner
Really, that’s my favorite thing about Valentine’s Day, which otherwise I’m not really a fan of.