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Fatty sacks and love tubes: An MRA sets us all straight on the perfidious nature of women

One order of misogyny, coming up!
One order of misogyny, coming up!

Usually I venture into the manosphere to collect the latest misogyny, but sometimes it’s delivered right to my door. Here, some intriguing thoughts on women, from an MRA who showed up in the comments here yesterday, and who has been delighting the regulars not only with his opinions but with his colorful writing style.

Here’s the dude calling himself Dragon Slayer, on how young women and their cell phones will bring about the death of feminism:

The feminist movement is doomed not because of us MRAs, but because of women. These days most women spend their youth with mouths agape, babbling on their cell phones and strutting around in public with the fatty sacks on their chests manipulated in such a way to attract a man’s attention. That’s literally all they do. Then once they get older they start looking to mortgage their pink clam off for private use in exchange for food and shelter. After that, they could give a shit about the rest of the world. So for your own sanity, I’d recommend you all just drop this feminism project.

Some thoughts on women and love:

I’m of the opinion that women aren’t really capable of love. I mean sure, they’ll barter access to various body parts- temporary bodyguard for butt action, manservant for intercourse, and such- but that’s not really “love” in the way it has been traditionally defined, by men. I suppose the only pure expression of “love” is that found between two men.

And some further reflections on that subject:

Evolution hasn’t programmed women to reciprocate affection. From a reproductive standpoint, they exist to gobble as much hot sour cream as possible and then propagate the species with the best DNA they can wrangle. Men, on the other hand, are programmed for targeted monogamous affection, the better to protect the female who chooses him as her sperm donor. In modern society, this dynamic has changed, as women don’t just require elite semen, but also financial security, which more often than not can be better provided by a biologically inferior male, to whom she transfers access to her love tube sometime in her early thirties.

So the pink clam is now a love tube? So confusing.

Is Dragon Slayer for real? I admit I’m not altogether sure. There’s some suspicion that he’s a sockpuppet of the legendary Man Boobz troll Arks; the writing style is similar, and, like Arks, the new guy puts bromance before ho-mance. Whether or not this is Arks II, I suspect he’s not purely trolling — that is, while trying to be inflammatory, he believes at least some of what he posts. And indeed, aside from the stuff about man-man love and the bit about men being programmed for monogamy, this is all stuff we’ve heard before from the evo-psych-obsessed dudes of the manosphere.

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melody
11 years ago

@Katelisa I’m a DD now. I can’t imagine if they were even bigger. I think I would have a melt down. I have scoliosis though and if they were bigger I’d probably have had surgery early on. At the size they are I can live with it, but they are heavy. I have a love/hate relationships with my breasts and don’t think I’m likely to fully embrace my body.The guy I’m currently seeing thinks I’m super sexy and isn’t afraid to tell me so. And this has effected the way I see my body. I know I shouldn’t need outside validation, but I do. I’m very curvy: Big bust, Small waist, wide hips and apparently I’m bootylisous (lol).
The things that supposedly make me sexy are the things about my body I hate. I think a lot of my body hatred comes from the fact that all through middle school and high school my dad constantly nagged me about what I ate. My best friend in high school had an eating disorder and we worked out together constantly. I have serious issues with food.

@Falconer Good Luck? I rent and therefore my problems are my landlords problem. My landlord even changes the light bulbs for me. Having a home someday is a dream of mine though.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

We’re having our yearly Snaking of the Pipes, too. Every year around this time it happens.

Watch out for plumber “humor.” Our last one said the pipes looked to be from the Early Roman Empire. Har, har.

Katelisa
Katelisa
11 years ago

Are you sure you’re a 34 though? I wore like a 36D for years before I discovered that I’m at the very most a 32, usually more like a 28-30 (I can almost fit into a 26 in some brands), and since cup-sizes grow as back sizes shrink I’ve gone up loads of cups (obviously), and I have never been so comfortable in my life, my neck/shoulder/back-aches have almost gone away and I look so much…nimbler, kind of, when my boobs are well supported. (Oh hai, I can talk about the importance of a good bra for days.)

I possibly look similar to you (just add short enough to be like a quarter boobs and hobbity chubby). The Husband Elect thinks, very vocally, that I’m insanely hot, and even though I’ve gained 15kg since we met, I’ve never felt this good about myself. Outside validation from somebody whose opinion one cares about does have a huge impact on most people, and even though I know I should like myself for me, I’m going to take that validation and run with it, because it makes me happy, damnit.

Also, Dragon Boy, if you’re reading: My fatty sacks are awesome, and yes, they do distract men so inclined (or women, kids, dogs, cats…). Because they’re awesome. Also, at some point, they’ll (hopefully) be able to provide enough nutrients for a growing little human, which makes them into a freaking miracle. Don’t you dare insult them.

Shadow
Shadow
11 years ago

@Falconer

I feel your pain. We finally bought a house last year, only to find out that the roof leaks, in the dead of winter. We spent 5 months with an attic full of containers and nightly prayers that the roof wouldn’t collapse on us in our sleep 😛

Catfish
Catfish
11 years ago

If I had to choose between sewer pipes exploding and MRA bs, I’d choose the first. I’ve been through both, either way there’s shit everywhere.
Bathroom pipe and toilet popping simultaneously was easier to clean up and in the end didn’t trigger any emotional trauma.

melody
11 years ago

@Katelisa I’m a 36DD (rib cage is larger than it was in hs) as far as I know. I got measured at VS though….which means it could be iffy.
I’m 5’8″.
And ya I will accept outside validation if it makes me feel better. I feel pretty sexy these days.

Starskita
Starskita
11 years ago

It’s possible to get a size 26 bra???
Not that I need one, so I haven’t looked, but I have never seen less than a 32 and often wonder how people smaller than me can possibly find a bra, since while I”m a bit on the small side, I’m definitely not extreme.

cloudiah
11 years ago

#TellAFeministThankYou is trending on Twitter, for all you twittererers out there. And of course attracting a fair share of anti-feminist/misogynist tweets. Like this one:

#TellAFeministThankYou is trending. I would thank one, but mine’s in the kitchen where she belongs.

katz
11 years ago

Katz, I just saw your Pierre on governmentsgetgirlfriends, was it really him commenting when he said that he did genuinely call the police?!

It was really him commenting. Of course we have no way to know if his police-call story is true or not. Hopefully not!

Drew
Drew
11 years ago

Is that Don Calfa? He always gives me the willies.

Falconer
11 years ago

Thank you all for your good wishes.

There are tree roots in the sewer line.

And some idiot whose nym starts with F was not aware that there is a separate endorsement for sewer lines to go along with home owners’ insurance, and home warranty does not go outside the foundations, so we’re stuck holding the whole bag.

I need beer.

Falconer
11 years ago

Also, I hate learning experiences. That is all.

cloudiah
11 years ago

[sends beer to Falconer]

@katz, I love the corgi in the new Pierre. Tiny error in one of the PAN(c) bubbles: “I’m being attacked by a pack _of_ wild dogs.”

Falconer
11 years ago

Beer! Cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Falconer, oh dear!

::sends more beer::

leftwingfox
11 years ago

Deep sympathies Falconer. I very nearly walked into something similar myself, and was only saved by the fact that my parents were serial homeowners and professional builders. ‘

Home buying and home ownership should be a mandatory high school class. So much hidden bullshit. 😛

leftwingfox
11 years ago

Sorry, keep forgetting that the 😛 face here is a happy one, rather than a bronx cheer.

Deoridhe
11 years ago

” I know I shouldn’t need outside validation, but I do.”

Actually, psychologically speaking, everyone needs outside validation. It’s and integral part of development that usually happens with caregivers, and if it doesn’t, people end up having ongoing issues unless they can get the need filled later. I’d say easily half of what I do therapeutically in my job is “mirroring”, that is , giving people accurate and loving feedback on what they do and who they are. This includes setting limits for inappropriate behavior while continuing to be connected in a loving manner to the person; feedback from others is integral to our internalization of a moral sense, to.

I think that’s why sexist people want women to shut up so much. Weirton back something they don’t want to see, that is deeply threatening to their self-image, and so extreme measures are taken to break the mirrors, soto speak. Shame (for them) that women aren’t inanimate objects for them to destroy.

katz
11 years ago

Typo fixed.

Falconer, what a shitty situation (literally). I hope it all gets worked out.

WeeBoy
WeeBoy
11 years ago

Late I know, but my favourite cheer up movies are Saved! and But I’m a Cheerleader. So funny, and really cute as well.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

The Husband Elect thinks, very vocally, that I’m insanely hot, and even though I’ve gained 15kg since we met, I’ve never felt this good about myself. Outside validation from somebody whose opinion one cares about does have a huge impact on most people, and even though I know I should like myself for me, I’m going to take that validation and run with it, because it makes me happy, damnit.

Katelisa, I skimmed the bra-sizes comments this morning, but Deoridhe’s response about validation made me go back and re-read yours. I can only say HIGH FIVE, SISTER! to what you said here. Mr Kittehs has just the same attitude to me, and I too have never felt so good about myself as now, nearly fifty and with gravity doing its thing. His opinion is the only one that really matters (other than my own) about my body, and my feelings about it have improved hugely in the years we’ve been together.

::does happy smiles::

Peter
11 years ago

Actually, psychologically speaking, everyone needs outside validation.

I can speak to this one from personal experience. Your own observations, over time, start feeling a lot less real without some external validation. A sea of people, and all that.

Yoyo
Yoyo
11 years ago

Also on the bra thingee, if anyone here knows a good Internet provider or physical shop(aus) for post breat cancer bras please let me know.

It’s all so depressing that I hardly want to leave the house and I’m a small breasted skinny beast.

Mind you just to piss off dragon boy I’d use my remaining fun bag to damage the world he lives in with my evil female ways.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

my god, my god …