Categories
antifeminism creepy disgusting women evil sexy ladies evo psych fairy tales girl germs men who should not ever be with men ever men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA TROOOLLLL!! vaginas

Fatty sacks and love tubes: An MRA sets us all straight on the perfidious nature of women

One order of misogyny, coming up!
One order of misogyny, coming up!

Usually I venture into the manosphere to collect the latest misogyny, but sometimes it’s delivered right to my door. Here, some intriguing thoughts on women, from an MRA who showed up in the comments here yesterday, and who has been delighting the regulars not only with his opinions but with his colorful writing style.

Here’s the dude calling himself Dragon Slayer, on how young women and their cell phones will bring about the death of feminism:

The feminist movement is doomed not because of us MRAs, but because of women. These days most women spend their youth with mouths agape, babbling on their cell phones and strutting around in public with the fatty sacks on their chests manipulated in such a way to attract a man’s attention. That’s literally all they do. Then once they get older they start looking to mortgage their pink clam off for private use in exchange for food and shelter. After that, they could give a shit about the rest of the world. So for your own sanity, I’d recommend you all just drop this feminism project.

Some thoughts on women and love:

I’m of the opinion that women aren’t really capable of love. I mean sure, they’ll barter access to various body parts- temporary bodyguard for butt action, manservant for intercourse, and such- but that’s not really “love” in the way it has been traditionally defined, by men. I suppose the only pure expression of “love” is that found between two men.

And some further reflections on that subject:

Evolution hasn’t programmed women to reciprocate affection. From a reproductive standpoint, they exist to gobble as much hot sour cream as possible and then propagate the species with the best DNA they can wrangle. Men, on the other hand, are programmed for targeted monogamous affection, the better to protect the female who chooses him as her sperm donor. In modern society, this dynamic has changed, as women don’t just require elite semen, but also financial security, which more often than not can be better provided by a biologically inferior male, to whom she transfers access to her love tube sometime in her early thirties.

So the pink clam is now a love tube? So confusing.

Is Dragon Slayer for real? I admit I’m not altogether sure. There’s some suspicion that he’s a sockpuppet of the legendary Man Boobz troll Arks; the writing style is similar, and, like Arks, the new guy puts bromance before ho-mance. Whether or not this is Arks II, I suspect he’s not purely trolling — that is, while trying to be inflammatory, he believes at least some of what he posts. And indeed, aside from the stuff about man-man love and the bit about men being programmed for monogamy, this is all stuff we’ve heard before from the evo-psych-obsessed dudes of the manosphere.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

243 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
sthlivingincolor
8 years ago

What is it with the writing style all these assholes have? They’ve all got this bro-being-smug-and-superior-while-saying-godawful-stupid-shit thing going. All that “love tunnel” stuff is supposed to be edgy and snarky, I think (I suspect they’re trying to do “Cracked” style snark), but it just comes across as bizarre. When you combine that with trying to sound smart when you’re an idiot, you just get an impenetrable mess.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

eli, have the other members of your family been around when he’s said this sort of thing? Do they think it’s okay?

eli
eli
8 years ago

Oh yeah, Kitteh’s, Mom is there (and remember I’m a 40-something), but, yeah, everyone acts like it’s ok. And really, you can’t tell him anything. He forgets two seconds later. But that has more to do with selective hearing than dementia.

eli
eli
8 years ago

At least he tips well with me and mom to tell him what to do:? 😉

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

::sigh:: I get you on the forgetting things and selective hearing. My mum’s 82 and not at all at the childish or changing personality stage, but oy.

eli
eli
8 years ago

It’s especially gross when people pull you close for a bit of non-consensual frottage under the guise of an innocent hug. Happens a lot to women who’re on the busty side.

Oh, yes. I’m on the busty side. There is a little bit of history that is funny with this one, but it still doesn’t mean I want the-full-on-wrap-around every time I see you, asshole.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

My father-in-law hit 98 and the only words he cared to hear were “Miller Lite,” “cake,” and “Vegas.” I think after raising 10 kids and having a zillion grand and great-grandkids around, he didn’t want to hear anymore.

eli
eli
8 years ago

Well, honestly Kitteh’s, that is positively terrifying for me. Mom is my rock and younger than yours. And she still needs a break. and won’t let me, won’t hire someone, and she needs a fucking break.

katz
8 years ago

Viscaria, I’m late, but here’s a gallery of corgi butts.

Peter
8 years ago

I feel like I’m nitpicking here, since this is a mistake a lot of comparably sane people make, but:

In modern society, this dynamic has changed, as women don’t just require elite semen, but also financial security, which more often than not can be better provided by a biologically inferior male, to whom she transfers access to her love tube sometime in her early thirties.

What do people mean when they say this sort of thing? Is it the usual Hyborean hypothesis, that evolutionary fitness is about single combat with hand weapons, i.e. a situation that occurs frequently in action films and basically nowhere else? EVOLUTIONARY PROTIP: If a particular resource enhances one’s prospects of survival, reproduction, and continuity, the entity that acquires more of it than its competitors isn’t “inferior.”

Although DS does get points for calling to memory the B-52s hit Love Tube. Man, that’s an earworm.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

That’salotta fat little butts!

@eli, I’m really sorry to hear about your dad 🙁

eli
eli
8 years ago

I think it’s just very difficult to have a geriatric dog at the same time as you have a geriatric parent. The (deaf) dog will still remember that you are an authority figure, whereas the father human will still see you as a pup who needs training and rearing. But corgi butts are cool too.

eli
eli
8 years ago

Hyborean

WTF, discuss.

Deoridhe
8 years ago

Viscaria: Look for My Little Pony: Friendship is magic. It’s one of my go-to happies. I also like How I Met Your Mother as a sitcom, and Bill Burnham as a comedian – and Gabriel Englacias is amazing as well. I also really, really liked 30 Rock.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

I’m doing way way better. I’m still, like, 40% convinced that I will be fired for gross incompetence tomorrow but I also recognize that thought isn’t based on anything. Plus I put away my dinner! Which is sort of a weird thing to be proud of but I was worried I wouldn’t put it away and then it would be wasted! I’ll stop talking about myself now 🙂 thanks guys for videos and shows and things.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Hyborean? As in Conan the Barbarian sort of stuff? (Sounds about right for MRAs, mind, though Arks is more like Kronar – NSFW!)

eli
eli
8 years ago

I wish I had that video of murphy and popcorn uploaded. That was awesome. Maybe I should do that.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Arks is more like the guy who tried to join Kronar’s tribe, but he was too whiny so they moved on and left him behind.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL that’d be about it!

Okay, time fer us commuters to commute. Later, y’all!

Peter
8 years ago

@eli & Kittehs’, there was an unfortunate typo, but yeah, I was referring the Conan universe, as it seemed to represent the highly artificial view of “natural man” that seems to be popular among people who worry that society isn’t brutal or stupid enough as it currently stands.

Thanks for the link. It reminds me of the backstory for Heavenly Sword, in which a Chosen One is prophesied, and the stars align, the child is born, and…it’s a girl. At which point the village elder basically starts yelling “SHUT IT DOWN!”

eli
eli
8 years ago

Shut it down, and that is real.

Falconer
8 years ago

So does anyone else on here read Girls With Slingshots?

Using her fun bags to get free drinks at bars is pretty much Jamie’s schtick gag.

ohshit I almost summoned him

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
8 years ago

Eli, my uncle used to say that. I think it is supposed to be a word play joke. I don’t recall him saying it in public, but I made a point of never being in public with him so I am not in a position to know.

Peter
8 years ago

Is there some Beetlejuice rule applying here? I’m working from second-hand notes on troll lore, and I spilled something on them, and to be honest I wasn’t paying much attention in class.

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

@Peter

“What do people mean when they say this sort of thing? Is it the usual Hyborean hypothesis, that evolutionary fitness is about single combat with hand weapons, i.e. a situation that occurs frequently in action films and basically nowhere else?”

Yeah. Especially since survival didn’t always mean killing an enemy with your bare hands. Lots of us are descended from individuals who were smart enough to hide, play dead, negotiate or surrender. These guys are woefully devoted to the jock/geek binary. Humans’ are more nuanced and complicated than a high school movie, for gods’ sake.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Hey, it fits with the high school level understanding of sexuality.

Actually that’s being far too kind to them – middle school at best.

Shiraz
Shiraz
8 years ago

@Cassandra

“Hey, it fits with the high school level understanding of sexuality.

Actually that’s being far too kind to them – middle school at best.”

Which would explain terms like “love tube” and “pink clam,” I guess.

Peter
8 years ago

If you need a euphemism for women’s genitalia, you can’t go wrong with a Professor Layton title.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
8 years ago

Middle school understanding of sexuality? Maybe kindergarten, where they think that saying “butt” is shocking. These guys are essentially a cruder version of that.

melody
8 years ago

It’s especially gross when people pull you close for a bit of non-consensual frottage under the guise of an innocent hug. Happens a lot to women who’re on the busty side.

Totally a problem. Plenty of men want to hug me to the point I don’t want ANY hugs from men unless they are my father, brother or boyfriend.
I also work with boys (13-21) on a regular basis. And because I’m the youngest female there I simply say don’t touch me (not even handshakes seriously it takes NOTHING to turn some of these boys on). And they get a warning, but they know I have no problem talking to their social worker, case manager or parole officer if they try to get handsy with me.

@Eli I feel lucky my grandpas were always really big on respect to women.

@Falconer I hate that BS about women manipulating men all the time with their breasts. Breasts in my opinion are far to sexualized.

If any of you have netflix check out the documentary Busting Out.

Serjeant Grumbles
8 years ago

@cloudiah: Aren’t baby bats mainly found hanging around Hot Topic?

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
8 years ago

@cloudiah: Aren’t baby bats mainly found hanging around Hot Topic?

Baby bats make their parents go stand in a different store while they try stuff on?

Peter
8 years ago

I’m now imagining teen Batman skulking in a Hot Topic changing room, and it’s kind of awesome.

Yoyo
Yoyo
8 years ago

@eli my first dog was a corgi and she had the cutest butt. When I work out how to attach pics to these threads ill send you pictures of destructor dog my latest.
@ melody, my daughter is a very busty girl and has had a really hard time at high school.
What’s more some of the teachers blamed her for the unwelcome attention, argh!

mightypika
mightypika
8 years ago

@Peter I thought “Pink Clam” was hilarious, but as per Peter’s comment earlier, my vag is hereby renamed the “Mystery Room”. Thanks!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@Peter –

Is there some Beetlejuice rule applying here? I’m working from second-hand notes on troll lore, and I spilled something on them, and to be honest I wasn’t paying much attention in class.

Pretty much! 😀 There’s one who only gets referred to as B___ because he was interminably boring and self centred and we don’t want to summon him. If you look around September 2011 you’ll see some of his. I wasn’t around then but I read a few today and gahhh, it’s the All About B___ show. Much the same with Mr Al (using his actual name hits the filter) who got banned and has sockpuppetted on and off ever since. And the one Falconer referred to was … well, the struck-out word was part of his name, and oy, if you want boring, go for him. He didn’t get banned, just limited to three posts every 24 hours, and he couldn’t, ahem, stick it.

Have you read much of the older threads? Until last year possibly the greatest troll was NWOslave, a truly ghastly (and yet bizarrely amusing at times) man who’s been banned on umpteen sites. He didn’t get banned here, just put on permanent moderation, and he hasn’t been around since the election. The Big Book of Larnin’ in the forums is based on the world according to NWO. You need to adjust your tinfoil hat to read it. 😛

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@Yoyo – we can’t embed pics here (think of what the trolls would do with that, ugh) but the way to get the link is

{ a href = ” http://i.imgur.com/88oHVoq.jpg ” } Mads { / a }

but with the arrow brackets instead of the curly ones, and no spaces.

The text in the middle is the URL of the pic you want to link to. ::crosses fingers that this works::

Mads

katz
8 years ago

Another troll’s handle is in the filter because he was using another person’s real name to defame him.

Also, wow, kitteh, have you ever done a thorough job catching up on your MBZ history.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

(That is, if you want to use a word instead of the URL: obviously the URL alone works too.) 😛

katz
8 years ago

Aww, look at Mads’ privacy tail.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL I read the old stuff when it’s a bit slow on the current ones. Helps to know why X, Y or Z might have got banned, and it’s fun reading what the regulars wrote. Some of Owly’s stuff, omigawd. And AntZ, though he seems pretty one-note most of the time. As for B___ – strewth that boy makes my eyes glaze over, him and his (?) imaginary girlfriend.

Yoyo
Yoyo
8 years ago

Thanks kitteh, I’m a bit of a Luddite, I’ll trial it first before I embarrass myself

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

“http://i.imgur.com/88oHVoq.jpg”

I didn’t even notice when I uploaded it! 😀 Perhaps she was in Renaissance nude-mode or something and we didn’t have any whisps of gauze handy. It’s an old pic, she hasn’t worn a collar in years.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Hah, Yoyo, you think the picture html monster is bad, you wait till the blockquotes monster gets you. It has no mercy.

Serjeant Grumbles
8 years ago

Baby bats make their parents go stand in a different store while they try stuff on?

Well, yeah:
http://www.blackwaterfall.com/11babybat.php

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I’ll say one thing for old threads being necroed, it’s one way of rediscovering really good videos. This was courtesy of Freitag originally. He offered it to Owly but somehow I doubt it worked.

http://youtu.be/ys-PxJajCl0

katz
8 years ago

You can test your Manboobz history knowledge: Do you remember the incident from my new Pierre?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Oh lor’, that’s wonderful! I haven’t read the thread it came from, though. Which one was it, do you remember?

That corgi is adorbs. Was this prompted by the corgi-butt pics today? 🙂

katz
8 years ago

Yes, I was looking up photo reference. The thread whence this came is linked in the comments. Have you run across Peter-Andrew: Nolan (c) anywhere yet?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Argh, yes, in passing! He’s Mr troy weight gold, among other things, isn’t he?