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Fatty sacks and love tubes: An MRA sets us all straight on the perfidious nature of women

One order of misogyny, coming up!
One order of misogyny, coming up!

Usually I venture into the manosphere to collect the latest misogyny, but sometimes it’s delivered right to my door. Here, some intriguing thoughts on women, from an MRA who showed up in the comments here yesterday, and who has been delighting the regulars not only with his opinions but with his colorful writing style.

Here’s the dude calling himself Dragon Slayer, on how young women and their cell phones will bring about the death of feminism:

The feminist movement is doomed not because of us MRAs, but because of women. These days most women spend their youth with mouths agape, babbling on their cell phones and strutting around in public with the fatty sacks on their chests manipulated in such a way to attract a man’s attention. That’s literally all they do. Then once they get older they start looking to mortgage their pink clam off for private use in exchange for food and shelter. After that, they could give a shit about the rest of the world. So for your own sanity, I’d recommend you all just drop this feminism project.

Some thoughts on women and love:

I’m of the opinion that women aren’t really capable of love. I mean sure, they’ll barter access to various body parts- temporary bodyguard for butt action, manservant for intercourse, and such- but that’s not really “love” in the way it has been traditionally defined, by men. I suppose the only pure expression of “love” is that found between two men.

And some further reflections on that subject:

Evolution hasn’t programmed women to reciprocate affection. From a reproductive standpoint, they exist to gobble as much hot sour cream as possible and then propagate the species with the best DNA they can wrangle. Men, on the other hand, are programmed for targeted monogamous affection, the better to protect the female who chooses him as her sperm donor. In modern society, this dynamic has changed, as women don’t just require elite semen, but also financial security, which more often than not can be better provided by a biologically inferior male, to whom she transfers access to her love tube sometime in her early thirties.

So the pink clam is now a love tube? So confusing.

Is Dragon Slayer for real? I admit I’m not altogether sure. There’s some suspicion that he’s a sockpuppet of the legendary Man Boobz troll Arks; the writing style is similar, and, like Arks, the new guy puts bromance before ho-mance. Whether or not this is Arks II, I suspect he’s not purely trolling — that is, while trying to be inflammatory, he believes at least some of what he posts. And indeed, aside from the stuff about man-man love and the bit about men being programmed for monogamy, this is all stuff we’ve heard before from the evo-psych-obsessed dudes of the manosphere.

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Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

I’m glad you had such a nice time, princessbonbon!

Hey, totally and completely off-topic feel free to ignore me: does anyone know of a light-hearted, positive TV show or movie that I might be able to find on Netflix? Or something cute on youtube? Only I’m having a really hard time controlling my feelings of panic right now and I’d love a distraction. 🙂

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Viscaria, have you seen Portlandia? It’s on Netflix and is hilarious.

Internet hugs if you want them for the panic.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Cute YouTube videos, you say?

Baby bats. (I know, bats, but they’re cute and one is wrapped in a bunny blanket)

cloudiah
11 years ago

Baby pygmy goats

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

@Cloudiah, listen to their little squeaks! Awww.

@Hellkell Portlandia it is!

And thank you for the hugs. I’m actually doing quite well, considering a) the time of year and b) my roommate moved away last week and took her little shih tzu X dachshund (ridiculous thing XD) with her, so I have no fluffy idiot to snuggle. Silly tv will help.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

This one time, I went to see a band called The Pink Clam Brigade…damn it, they were awesome.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Baby panda, adorably clumsy.

Sorry about the panic attack, Viscaria.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

Apparently the dream of the 90s is alive in Portland!

Creative Writing Student

@Viscaria

I have a bookmark folder for such occasions!

They’re not that long because I do not have an attention span.

clairedammit
clairedammit
11 years ago

Viscaria, you’ve probably already seen them, but Red Dwarf and Arrested Development are both on Netflix. Sometimes I like to rewatch stuff when I need something light hearted.

Direct link to Red Dwarf – http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/70140428?strkid=670772214_0_0&trkid=222336&movieid=70140428

to Arrested Development – http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/70140358?strkid=625576954_0_0&trkid=222336&movieid=70140358

And hugs from me too if you want ’em!

Yoyo
Yoyo
11 years ago

Shiraz was the band an all girl band, and if so were they manipulating the audience with their breasts?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I can’t search Netflix since it’s not available in Oz, but if you like weird British humour, see if they have Black Books. It’s Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey and the eps only go about thirty minutes each.

This is The Grapes of Wrath from the first season.

http://youtu.be/fTvfG3HSDYA

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Wow. I think I love baby bats now.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Maru!

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

Thanks everyone, you all rock. I feel way more under control already! And hopefully other people also enjoyed ridiculous kitties and donkeys.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I <3 Maru. 🙂

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Yoyo — Yes! What you said. And also, they had man servants handing out hot sour cream during their set!

Amused
11 years ago

“Sour cream”? Aha. So THAT’s what cum actually tastes like. So lucky we had some righteous MRA dude who likes to taste his own jizz (for science), I’m guessing, clear that up.

Yoyo
Yoyo
11 years ago

Wow Shiraz what a pisser I missed them! In Canberra their was a dreadful punk band around in my youth called the 4skins. I suspect dragon boy may have played in them.

Shadow
Shadow
11 years ago

@Viscaria

You’ve prolly seen this already, but this clip cracks me up every time 🙂

As far as shows go, my go to pick me ups are Community and Arrested Development, and for movies you can’t go wrong with Office Space and/or The Princess Bride. Honorable mentions to Up All Night and Samantha Who

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

@Yoyo

4skins, huh? Sounds major. *snicker/snort*

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

That baby knows what’s up.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Viscaria: It is, and Portland really is where young people go to retire.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I have to vent about this little everyday irritating male entitlement moments I just witnessed. So I was walking back from the bakery and I passed these two elderly guys walking along and chatting. Which would have been fine – yay for getting out and enjoying the sunshine – but one of them said to the other “Whenever I go to Safeway I say to all the checkout girls, hey, you could always quit working here and come take care of me instead!”. And then he nudged his buddy in the ribs and did that exaggerated leering wink thing, and they both guffawed.

People, don’t do that to service workers, OK? Just because they can’t tell you to fuck off while they’re working doesn’t mean that you’re not creeping them out, and putting up with sexual harassment shouldn’t be part of their jobs.