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Fatty sacks and love tubes: An MRA sets us all straight on the perfidious nature of women

One order of misogyny, coming up!
One order of misogyny, coming up!

Usually I venture into the manosphere to collect the latest misogyny, but sometimes it’s delivered right to my door. Here, some intriguing thoughts on women, from an MRA who showed up in the comments here yesterday, and who has been delighting the regulars not only with his opinions but with his colorful writing style.

Here’s the dude calling himself Dragon Slayer, on how young women and their cell phones will bring about the death of feminism:

The feminist movement is doomed not because of us MRAs, but because of women. These days most women spend their youth with mouths agape, babbling on their cell phones and strutting around in public with the fatty sacks on their chests manipulated in such a way to attract a man’s attention. That’s literally all they do. Then once they get older they start looking to mortgage their pink clam off for private use in exchange for food and shelter. After that, they could give a shit about the rest of the world. So for your own sanity, I’d recommend you all just drop this feminism project.

Some thoughts on women and love:

I’m of the opinion that women aren’t really capable of love. I mean sure, they’ll barter access to various body parts- temporary bodyguard for butt action, manservant for intercourse, and such- but that’s not really “love” in the way it has been traditionally defined, by men. I suppose the only pure expression of “love” is that found between two men.

And some further reflections on that subject:

Evolution hasn’t programmed women to reciprocate affection. From a reproductive standpoint, they exist to gobble as much hot sour cream as possible and then propagate the species with the best DNA they can wrangle. Men, on the other hand, are programmed for targeted monogamous affection, the better to protect the female who chooses him as her sperm donor. In modern society, this dynamic has changed, as women don’t just require elite semen, but also financial security, which more often than not can be better provided by a biologically inferior male, to whom she transfers access to her love tube sometime in her early thirties.

So the pink clam is now a love tube? So confusing.

Is Dragon Slayer for real? I admit I’m not altogether sure. There’s some suspicion that he’s a sockpuppet of the legendary Man Boobz troll Arks; the writing style is similar, and, like Arks, the new guy puts bromance before ho-mance. Whether or not this is Arks II, I suspect he’s not purely trolling — that is, while trying to be inflammatory, he believes at least some of what he posts. And indeed, aside from the stuff about man-man love and the bit about men being programmed for monogamy, this is all stuff we’ve heard before from the evo-psych-obsessed dudes of the manosphere.

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BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

The funny part is that I’m not 100% convinced that MRAs aren’t right that no women they ever met could truly love them as a person instead of being in it purely for personal gain. The reason for that, though, has more to do with the fact that MRA personalities are so toxic that no woman who isn’t into a purely transactional relationship would put up with them (and, unsurprisingly, they’re quick on the trigger when it comes to breaking contract once they realize what they’ve put themselves into).

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

Also, if your sperm looks or tastes like sour cream I’d suggest talking to your doctor about that.

I dunno, could be useful. I mean, infinite dorito accompaniment on tap!

*would not actually dip doritos in semen, even if it was actually sour cream*

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

Honestly, if he IS gay, I’m sad, just because god knows I don’t want him on MY side of the fence.

Also, weirdly. Before I had top surgery, I DID have major issues with body parts now removed. But though I would’ve been tempted to describe them otherwise, I tried to discuss them with respect. First because I hoped it would cure me (it didn’t), and then because I found that insulting anyone’s body parts just wasn’t cool.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

@danielle – yeah, that one made me laugh. Somehow I get the feeling Mr Save Indian Families By Staying Right Away From Them doesn’t know a whole lot about the story.

BlackBloc – yup. The sort of transaction MRAs have to offer just isn’t worth it. Even if they had Bernie Ecclestone levels of cash, it wouldn’t be worth it.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

CWS – if we’re gonna have flavoured semen, I’d rather strawberry, kthx.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

People like Dragon Slayer make me laugh, because whether they’re trolling for lulz or really believe what they spew, either way they’re pathetic.

princessbonbon
11 years ago

My goodness, the things I return to.

I love sour cream and I was stoked I found some store brand in Cornwall. Little did I know I only had to ask a passing man for some.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

It’s so pathetic. DS looks on a world of full of fabulous young women, all busy on their phones, telling their lovers how happy they make them, consoling friends or sharing their joys, catching up with parents or siblings, discussing their hopes & dreams, planning activism to change the world for the better … and his blinkered bitterness warps his vision so that he hears nothing, sees only breasts and feels only contempt.

Crumbelievable
Crumbelievable
11 years ago

Manservants for Intercourse would make a decent band name

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

princessbonbon, welcome back! How was your trip?

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

“Will Bodyguard for Butt Stuff” would be a good band name, too.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

It’s always funny how women have to have sex for Nefarious Woman Reasons, and not, like… for fun.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

MRAs don’t seem to regard sex as fun for themselves, either, do they? Do you think they ever giggle?

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

I can’t help but think they’d be rather selfish in bed, anyway. I mean, my first thought is usually “ooh, I like this thing, more of this thing!” but my second thought is “do you like this thing? What is a thing that you like?”

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

Reading over my own words I should clarify: I don’t just initiate sexual actions without asking my partner, I just check in during to make sure it’s going well and to see if there’s anything he’d like to do.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

Only nefariously.

princessbonbon
11 years ago

princessbonbon, welcome back! How was your trip?

A zillion times better than the first sojourn in England even though my erstwhile friend was seriously annoying.

I missed the British Loot History Museum but I did see the Museum of London (I had no idea there was one.) I also saw Westminster Hall, Abbey, St. Paul’s Cathedral, Churchill’s War Museum, St. James Park, Buckingham Palace, Hampton Court, the burial place of Anne Bolyen, the Mousetrap, Simpson’s on the Strand (awesome mashed potatoes), Stonehenge, swans and Harrods.

Unfortunately since I was the one driving and I HATE DRIVING ON BRITISH ROADS, I did not get to see much once we went to Cornwall because I never wanted to drive anywhere (especially after I hit someone’s side mirror with mine.)

My sister and I are going to see if we can save up enough money to take my mom to the UK in three years though so I can make her drive next time.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

princessbonbon – welcome back! That sounds like a great trip. I’m impressed you got into St Peter ad Vincula, it isn’t open that often, is it? And I just LOVE the Museum of London. Did you see the Cheapside Hoard there, with that beauuuutiful emerald watch?

viscaria – “I can’t help but think they’d be rather completely selfish in bed, anyway.”

FTFY. Like you said, these guys don’t like women and think we don’t enjoy sex anyway*, so why would they bother trying to please a sexual partner at all?

*This is like what BlackBloc pointed out about Draggin’ Scraper’s self-fulfilling prophecies of women being so unloving: I doubt any woman’s had much fun in bed with an MRA, and these guys would never think it might be something lacking in their own behaviour that causes it.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

PS did you get to the Undercroft Museum in the Abbey, with all the funeral effigies?

princessbonbon
11 years ago

@Kittehs’
As far as I could tell St. Peter ad Vincula’s is open outside of worship times for regular people to wander (reverently) into and look about. I looked about and was trying to imagine how people are actually buried there. Just seems weird for someone to come along and shovel a hole out. I did not see your husband’s collection of stuff though or his photo but then I may have been wandering in the wrong spots.

Hampton Court was fun, King Hal made me tell poor Catherine Howard (they had actors playing the parts) that he decided she was the best of the women to marry. I felt like telling her “RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!” But of course I could not do that. I did sit in his chair for revenge though and had someone take my photo looking as regal as I could in a turtleneck and pants.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I wonder if Dragon Slayer’s going to come back and tell us that his comments were for MRA eyes only. And that’s real.

princessbonbon
11 years ago

PS did you get to the Undercroft Museum in the Abbey, with all the funeral effigies?

I did…good lord was Katherine of Valois tiny! Elizabeth I was a thin version of me and the rest were nifty too.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Wait, the manservants are FOR intercourse? That sounds a lot more fun than I assumed initially, given that the statement was from Arks and his mind/personality seems to be the place where joy goes to die.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I’m glad you saw the Undercroft! It’s amazing. I can’t remember his name, but there was a little boy there, about three years old – beautiful effigy and sad to see one of a child. Strange thing is seeing one of his younger brother who passed over at about twenty. Charles II’s is the one that gets me most, though.

I wonder if they’ve changed things with St Peter ad Vincula? I didn’t get into it either time we visited. Maybe I timed it wrong and there were services on. I’d like to have seen it. Anne Boleyn was my heroine when I was a kid, thanks to Jean Plaidy and Dorothy Tutin. 🙂

Milord’s stuff is up on one of the higher floors of the White Tower, where the arms and armour collection lives, so if you didn’t go up there you wouldn’t have seen it. It’s just one case of guns with his portrait nearby, and suits of armour from the period – a gold one of Charles I’s, I think, and the one Charles II wears in a couple of his portraits by Dobson as a teenager.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Yay, princessbonbon’s back — glad you had a nice trip.