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#INeedMasculismBecause nothing is funnier than MRAs sincerely trying to explain their dumb beliefs to the world

MRA Tweet Generating Room
MRA Tweet Generating Room

So: many if not most of you have probably heard about the whole #INeedMasculismBecause thing. For those who aren’t: a bunch of Men’s Rights Redditors and other MRAs, inspired by a post on 4Chan, decided to swarm Twitter with #INeedMasculismBecause tweets in response to the #INeedFeminismBecause hashtag. Feminists responded by outswarming the MRAs, flooding their new hashtag with often quite hilarious parodies of MRAspeak, as well as some just plain ridiculousness.

Today, on r/mensrights, MRAs are surveying the damage in a host of different threads, with some plaintively wondering “why is everyone so hostile towards the idea of men having issues,” and others claiming that the hashtag really “started as a caricature of Men’s Rights, in order to lure out the real life caricatures of Radical Feminism.” Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Jezebel has already chronicled some of the funniest parody tweets. And I was thinking of doing the same. I mean, these are pretty good:

twpa1twpa2twpa4twpa3

Ok, that last one was just a dumb joke about someone ordering a watermelon-flavored drink. I “favorite” a lot of things.

Anyway, catching up on the whole thing last night, I found myself thinking that the parody comments – as funny as some  of them were – couldn’t really compete with the loopiness of the real MRA tweets.

So here are some #INeedMasculismBecause tweets by some of my new favorite Twitter MRAs. (I only started going through these really late last night, so a lot of my examples come from the Indian MRAs who were posting prolifically at the time.)

Let’s start with Average Man, who opened a new Twitter account just for the occasion:

twav3twav4twav5twav2

Uh, maybe they gave you “less marks” because you don’t know the difference between “less” and “lower.”

Alexander shared these somewhat perplexing thoughts:

twal1twal2

The prolific SaveIndianFamilyNGO had all sorts of interesting opinions:

twsi2twsi3twsi4twsi5twsi6twsi7 twsi8twsi9

I found myself often perplexed by wnnbl, but I don’t think his troubles with English were the main problem:

twwn1twwn2twwn4twwn3twwn5joke

I assume these last two are jokes, but honestly, who knows?

I have no idea what Virag was going on about with these tweets:

twvi1

But this one at least was pretty clear:

twvi2

Atit seems to have a rather strange idea of what “equality for men” means:

twat1

Warrior for Justice also doesn’t seem to like women very much:

twwf1twwf2

Martin Clausen ramped up his largely dormant Twitter account to post these gems:

twmc1twmc2twmc3twmc4

I don’t quite know what to make of Jackson here, but he seems to be a real MRA.

twjk1twjk2

This is just a theory, but maybe women look at you strangely when you pick up your kids because of that uncontrollable boner you mentioned earlier?

twjk3twjk4

MRAs show once again that they’re beyond parody — or at least indistinguishable from it.

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Kakanian
Kakanian
11 years ago

>Buddha was a masculinist already back in 500BC

That one made me smile. The combination of projecting his issues and the utter absence of knowleged of the legend itself is simply baffling.

His wife was a princess and she gave birth to his son. She basically was set for life already.

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
11 years ago

I am am mathematician

BRO DO U EVEN STEM? I DO INTEGRALS EVERY DAY BRO

I HAVE ASCENDED BEYOND THE NEED FOR YOUR MORTAL INTEGRALS

LOOK UPON MY PROOFS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
11 years ago

(despair because I missed something stupid that invalidates the whole thing, probably)

Joanna
11 years ago

Ok, just the Martin Clausen ones:

“The entire western world hates men”
Gosh I must be the only one who likes them =o

“Men in today’s society are NOT powerful”
You mean Obama’s a woman???

“People still think helping victims who are men and boys of all colours is a war on women”
Lol. Wut?

“Men and boys need compassion too, but are constantly ignored and left to die”
So…males’ source of life nourishment is compassion from others? How much compassion do men need to stop them from dying? Since when was this a thing? I feel kind of bad now.

Tina
Tina
11 years ago

Good morning! Needed my morning fix of Manboobz. Packing stuff up to move equals really bad sinuses equals whee to the brain and a headache from the dust.

I really wish I understood cat language ‘cuz “mrow” said with big purrs is wonderful.

MRA’s: find humanism and learn it. Also, stop separating everyone by their reproductive parts. It’s annoying and stupid. We are not defined by our genitals.

Fatrelle: sadly, even I can tell that when you call someone nasty names you have no real argument. And the “no women allowed in man spaces” part is hilarious because AVfM has added women. The FeMRA’s are held up like trophies, as someone else here said (paraphrased) “like it gives MRA’s authority or validity because you can hold up a few women and go “see! see”. It’s normal for humans, I think, to blame-shift (been doing it since Adam and Eve) and to commit what I think is called the single-cause fallacy(feminism is the only problem). Then it’s best to realize your mistakes and correct them. ‘stepping carefully off soapbox to get more coffee’ Have a good day to all.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I’m curious as to how SaveIndianFamily guy plans to save the family while remaining a mile away from women. Do we need to explain to him where babies come from?

I’m also confused as to how telling people about how many STDs American girls supposedly have is going to bring about world peace.

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
11 years ago

A few of those “how to not be a feminist” tips are actually “how to be a feminist, explained in shitty offensive language.”

5. Don’t believe everything women and feminised men in the media tell you. Many serve up slop by the bucket – celebrity gossip, slimming tips, sex tips, man-shaming tips, rape and abuse lies, etc. TV shows like Oprah and Dr Phil are filled with advice on how women can transform themselves into victims and blame everything on men, while constantly ridiculing them. Partake of more nutritious fare than this. Get your infotainment from equitable programs. Be aware of the cultural status quo from both perspectives.

I have a feeling that the writer’s not thinking of the same stuff as I am, but as far as I know feminism’s got quite a bit of a history of saying “fuck you too” to e.g. celebrity gossip and slimming tips…

melody
11 years ago

1. Don’t be narcissistic. Never think you’re more important than men or children. Marketing departments delight in exploiting the feminist fallacy that you are. They promote ‘women’s only’ this and that, and women have bought into it. This appears sexist but it is really a marketing ploy that works because most women are narcissistic. Companies know they can charge more for goods and services by using the words ‘women only’. Narcissistic women are easily exploitable women. Be neither.

I do believe I do shop and I believe the phrase is: For Women.
And FYI there are: For Men products too.
Gosh, by this guys logic all males and all females are narcissistic.

2. Don’t let others make choices for you. This should be self-evident but for most of your life you’ve allowed yourself to be told what to wear, what to buy, what to eat, how to dress, where to go, how to think – in clubs, gyms, magazines, websites, books, stores and by TV talk show hosts. You’ve ‘needed’ a step-by-step guide through life, which you’ve followed with your sisters like sheep. Companies have exploited this need. Behave like a sheep if you must but obey the sheepdog, not the wolf. Better yet, be a woman who can think for herself.

Again the logic can be applied to men and women. You know because we all live in a community. And communities have cultures and cultures dictate how we think.
Women are chopped up into pieces: look lips, look breasts ect. We are made to be pieces of what we are in media. Men are far more likely to be shown as a whole entity.

3. Get rid of the self-induced schizophrenia. Don’t insist you’re strong, confident, capable and independent one minute, then weak, frightened and vulnerable the next, especially when you’ve been caught doing something wrong. Don’t chop and change whenever it suits you – learn about who you are and be true. Admit when you’ve done something wrong. Don’t suddenly remember that you suffered abuse in the past or have some kind of mental illness or other instability, then use it to get yourself off. If you never sought help for these problems before you were caught, don’t use them as an excuse afterwards. Accept responsibility for yourself.

Okay, in other words respond to every situation the same way. I don’t think men do this one either.
And many women have suffered abuse. If I respond negativity to violence shown to me due to my abusive childhood I’m not trying to get myself out of trouble. I am responding to the trauma I faced in the past. PTSD you jerk.

Tina
Tina
11 years ago
Reply to  melody

I missed the abuse part. 🙁 This advice is abusive. Yeah, accept responsibility but…you are accepting responsibility. (Melody, not you personally) I recognize sometimes when my depression is making me irrational. Then I can calm myself down. Kinda. But this is taking responsibility. (okay, huh? some good advice mixed in with a bunch of wtf?) This author is being way too harsh. I can’t just flip a switch or yell at myself to stop it. I’ve tried and it really doesn’t work (makes things worse, circular). Preztel logic?

melodyraewood
melodyraewood
11 years ago

4. Don’t let the law take responsibility for crimes women commit. Speak out against women routinely receiving shorter sentences than men for the same crimes. If the law punishes women as it does children, treat them like children and encourage others to do so too. Don’t call these women ‘victims’ and say “they’ve suffered enough” because they’re women. Believe in, and stand up for, equal justice on the basis of gender.

Great. Okay, well which studies are you referencing here. I don’t want to spend a ton of time breaking this down because I would be on here for hours explaining.
Part of this is the difference in crimes committed. Murder vs drugs for example. My sources show that women who commit violent crimes are just as likely to be incarcerated as men. When it comes to drugs women are less likely to see prison time (but studies don’t take plea bargains ect into account).
Men and women are seen differently in the court system. That is a problem with our culture. The same culture that wants to argue women aren’t fit for combat.

http://digitalcommons.utep.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1001&context=gang_lee

However, you may want to look at race as well. White privilege and whatnot. Because minority men are far more likely to see prison for crimes than white males. Minority men get longer prison sentences that white males. And the race component plays into the difference between men and womens prison times. As far more of the minority male population is in prison than the minority female population. Again complicated topic that can’t just be summed up simply.

5. Don’t believe everything women and feminised men in the media tell you. Many serve up slop by the bucket – celebrity gossip, slimming tips, sex tips, man-shaming tips, rape and abuse lies, etc. TV shows like Oprah and Dr Phil are filled with advice on how women can transform themselves into victims and blame everything on men, while constantly ridiculing them. Partake of more nutritious fare than this. Get your infotainment from equitable programs. Be aware of the cultural status quo from both perspectives.

Of course the victim blaming is very prevalent in society. “You didn’t fight back hard enough”, “You were dressed up”, “You were drinking”, “You were out after dark”, “You were with a man you didn’t know” ect.
Frankly, the sources used by MRM are NOT reliable sources of information. Frequently, if you look at the methodology it proves their studies unpublishable by the scientific community. Furthermore, when women site sources such as peer reviewed journals, the census, the CDC we are told that these are controlled by feminists by MRM folk. However, MRM hold that their sources are so much more reliable. This is confirmation bias. I can admit that sometimes I am wrong or that certain things are true the MRM folks can’t seem to accept that they could be wrong.

melodyraewood
melodyraewood
11 years ago

6. Don’t fake solidarity with other women, especially in public. Don’t pretend that all women are your best friends when everyone knows nothing could be further from the truth. Openly acknowledge the reality that women despise each other unless there’s personal advantage in not doing so. Most good men can see through these attempts at deception, so lies won’t travel far. Don’t be a liar, especially not an obvious one.

I despise other women? How would you know this? I hate my best friend?
Of course I suppose this guy thinks that men can have real relationships that don’t rely on advantage.
I have many female and many male friends. I certainly didn’t pick them because they give me an advantage.
And I tend to get along with most folks I meet: in the grocery store, on the bus and at work. Admittedly, some of the work friendships are networking. However, pretending every interaction I have comes from some self-interest because I’m a woman comes off as woman hating.

7. Don’t seek equality with men. Masculinity and femininity are inherently different. They are neither equals nor opposites, but different parts of the sexual continuum that can’t be defined from each other. Actively separate masculinity from femininity, and separate both from the sexual politics that keep them in healthy tension. Don’t claim women can do anything men can do until you start producing your own sperm.

Masculinity and femininity are social constructs. They are not constant across history or culture. And pretending they are makes you seem ignorant.
And BTW we can make sperm in a lab now.

8. Don’t demonize male sexuality or the male sex. Both sexes can be evil, both can be virtuous. Empathy, wisdom, grace, mercy, compassion and love are all as masculine as they are feminine. Don’t invaginate our boys by shaming or medicating the masculinity out of them before it matures and don’t impregnate them with the corrosive lie that being a woman is like being a man only better. Male sexuality is a pearl to be cultured. Suffuse your sons egos with promise if you want your daughters to have good men to love.

Interesting statement when earlier on you claimed women can’t have relationships with other women without self interest. It seems to me that you think women are self serving and selfish. And the rest of your post past the third sentence it is clear you think women are innately evil. Very contradictory.
And this goes in direct opposition with your statement above. That femininity and masculinity are different.

Sorry my rant is getting so long…………

melodyraewood
melodyraewood
11 years ago

9. Respect the sanctuaries of men. Men are judged much more harshly than women so they need their safe retreat. They don’t have the same opportunities for emotional support as women so they need a place where they can express themselves free of judgment and ridicule. This place must be respected. Take care if you venture there as your feminine narcissism is the enemy. Don’t draw attention to yourself and don’t expect protection if you do. If you must speak don’t attempt to control the dialogue or steer it towards you. Don’t censor language to suit your sensitivities. Male sanctuary is sacred – treat it as you would a cathedral.

Men are judged more harshly than women? In what way? Women are told what size they should be, what they should act like, what they should look like, what they should eat ect. Women are bombarded with expectations. Including expectations on how they should be in order to not be raped. Men come into womens spaces all the time and say “but the men”. Frequently, discussing issues that they never bring up without the context of women talking about those issues and how they effect women.
Men have plenty of places where they get to hang with the guys. And they do. They are places that don’t open themselves up to be inclusive to women. I don’t have a problem with men having mens spaces, but women need womens spaces too.

10. Don’t use shaming tactics. Don’t accuse men of having anger management issues when they’re angry at injustice. Don’t accuse them of being a threat when they call you out for being a bigot or a tyrant. Don’t accuse them of having a fear of commitment when they’re merely making a choice between bravery and stupidity. Don’t assess the merit of their arguments on the basis of their attractiveness to you. Don’t attribute their views about women to past disappointments when it is merely an objective assessment of your sex. Shaming tactics are remnants of childhood so leave them in the nursery if you want to be taken seriously.

Shaming tactics? I know what those feel like: You are a slut, you are a prude, you eat too much, you eat to little, you drank to much, you lead him on, ect. These are some of the shaming tactics I see used by MRM folks against women.
Some men do have anger management issues. Some men do have commitment problems. Some women have anger management issues. Some women have commitment problems. Pointing them out isn’t shaming and putting up a straw feminist who declares to all men to have these problems isn’t going to make the statement true.

11. Be honest about sexual harassment. If you assert that you have the right to dress as you please and that men should be able to control their sexuality, honour their right to be shielded from yours. If you don’t want men to control themselves but instead want to control their loss of control for your own enjoyment, be prepared for the consequences when things go awry. If ‘harassment’ – the stares, sexual innuendos, sly touches, and even rape – magically cease to be harassment and become the foundations of a passionate new romance occasionally, admit that you don’t really want men to control themselves. Don’t expect men to know when it’s right to ‘harass’ you and when it’s not. Don’t treat Man one minute as an exciting and courageous hero and the next a monster intent on tyranny and abuse if you’re inconsistent in your sexual intentions and desires.

I’m not going into this a ton, but it has been said time and time again the amount of false accusations in regards to rape is small.
It is never right for a man to harass me. It is never right for a man to put his hands on me without my permission. It is never right for a man to ignore my statement of no.
And someone on here already said something lovely in regards to shielding men from our sexuality. Something along the lines of the fact they have no problem if attractive men want to flaunt their stuff. I don’t need to be shielded from men who want to show off what they got because I’m not controlled by my impulses and won’t rape or harass them just for being there. Men can control themselves too.

12. Speak out against misandry. The main reason for its proliferation is that women have remained silent. Silence in the face of injustice is cowardly. It has allowed loud, obnoxious women to preach hatred with impunity, which has reflected badly on all women. When you speak out against misandry you do all women a favour. Don’t be a misandrist, don’t be a coward and don’t be silent.

How about you speak out about misogyny then? I have spoken up against male bashing. When there was graffiti at my college that said we should castrate all men I spoke up against it. As did many other students. And I speak up against racism as well.

Yay! Rant finished.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

Very enjoyable rant. 🙂

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I feel like ranty dude’s rant would be a lot less confusing if he understood that “feminist” and “woman who I don’t like” are not interchangeable categories.

Guess that confusion is what happens when guys get used to using “feminist” to mean “woman who is pissing me off”.

melody
11 years ago

@Cassandra
Very true.
Or woman who says things I don’t want to hear.

Gosh, this program keeps wanting to change my name.
Ha. Just noticed that it changed.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

@CassandraSays

At least feminists don’t do that. 😛

“Ugh, this woman who says women belong in the kitchen pisses me off, she’s such a feminist! … Wait, but I’M a feminist… Er… Um… Er… Pass the headache pills please.”

(I still think the funniest ones are those who complain that the women who won’t sleep with them are feminists. Yeah, suuuure that woman wanted to have sex with you but her ideology stopped her, not the fact that you are a Severus Snape-level slimy nice guy (TM) bastard.)

melody
11 years ago

@Creative
OMG so true.
I’ve met those men. The fact that I won’t have casual sex with them is because I’m a feminist, or a prude.
I love how many of the posts on manboobz have men bragging about how much tail they get and then talking about how all the men don’t get their fair share. They sound super bitter which makes me think they aren’t getting as much as they claim.
Studies indicate that somebody is lying though: Men claim to have twice as many partners as females claim to have in their life time. Depending on your study: 12 partners to 6 partners in a british study; The Health Survey for England found that men had 9.3 partners to womens 4.7 partners and Federal Goverment with men saying they had 7 partners and women saying they had 4.
Which by the way David Gale has a break down on how those two sets of numbers are impossible and that someone is lying.

Dragon Slayer
Dragon Slayer
11 years ago

For the past forty years, women have had feminism telling them that their shit smells like rainbows and cinnamon buns. Hell, an entire academic discipline has been built around tonguing the swollen clitoris of women’s ego. What it all comes down to is that #WomenNeedFeminism for whatever idiosyncratic first-world problem that they angst out over between checking their vapid Tumblrs and twittering away on their MAN-made iPhones. She’s overweight? No, she’s sticking it to the mighty phallus’ oppressive beauty standards. She’s an unpleasant harridan with 0 friends? No, she’s speaking out against the patriarchy. Her puckered meat clam drools in anticipation whenever she sees a presentable man? Fight the purity myth! And so on. This enabling of consequence-free behavior is essentially what’s driven feminism since 1970, and it’s basically all it’s good for. So let’s not be making fun of #INeedMasculismBecause.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

Which by the way David Gale has a break down on how those two sets of numbers are impossible and that someone is lying.

It’s possible they both are, since women are threatened with the “slut” and “whore” labels for having too much sex, and men are threatened with “gay” and “not manly enough” for having too little.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

@Melody

I’ve never met those particular guys in person, just so many of them are featured on here whining about it. (Met plenty of other creeps though.)

Why would someone follow an ideology that doesn’t work with their personal morality? I don’t dislike being creeped on because I’m a feminist, I’m a feminist because I don’t think I’m morally obligated to entertain creepers (amongst other things).

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen

Which also proves wrong a claim I’ve seen sometimes, according to which trafficking would disappear if sex work were legal.

Someone should tell that to Nevada, the Netherlands, and pretty much everywhere else where prostitution is legal, since that legalization has come with an increase in human trafficking, particularly of children. Sex trafficking happens everywhere, but places with legalized prostitution provide a much more lucrative market.

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

Whoops, wrong thread with that last one. Apologies.

Also, “While no one was looking, Lex Luthor stole forty cakes! He took 40 cakes! That’s as many as four tens! And that’s real.”

Awesome

augochlorella
11 years ago

I think other people in these comments have already done this better, but Roommate and I decided to try paraphrasing the 12-Steps To Stop Being a Feminist or Whatever thing.

1. Don’t be narcissistic. Don’t think that just because you’re a woman, you’re entitled to tampons or underwear that’s shaped for your body. You narcissist.

2. Don’t let others make choices for you. You’ve ‘needed’ a step-by-step guide through life, which you’ve followed with your sisters like sheep. So follow this step-by-step guide to fixing that.

3. Get rid of all that self-induced schizophrenia. If you were abused, you have to either always act like you are permanently broken or like it totally wasn’t a big deal or anything. Acting anything less than these two extremes means you’re a person who reacts to certain things differently, and we can’t have you thinking you’re a person. You narcissist.

4. Don’t let the law take responsibility for crimes women commit. Become the Batman.

5. Don’t believe everything women and feminized men in the media tell you. They will tell you that sometimes rape and abuse happens and those are lies. I also know you feminists are all in total support of celebrity gossip and weight-loss tips. I also totally know what a feminist is.

6. Don’t fake solidarity with women, especially in public. I know more about your relationships than you do, stranger on the internet who I’ve never met. I know you may think that all of those life-long friendships with other women were based on shared-interests, companionship, and love, but I know that you all hate each other because one of you is prettier or some bullshit.

7. Don’t seek equality with men. I mean, really. You narcissist. Also actively separate feminine and masculine traits.

8. Don’t demonize male sexuality or the male sex. Empathy, wisdom, grace, mercy, compassion, and love aren’t just feminine traits, you harpy! How dare you actively separate feminine and masculine traits!

9. Respect the sanctuaries of men. I won’t tell you where exactly these sanctuaries are, but you’re an awful person if you think you belong there. Wherever they are. Call of Duty games or the oval office maybe? I don’t know.

10. Don’t use shaming tactics. You narcissist.

11. Be honest about sexual harassment. So you like things like touch and sex when you’ve consented to it with people you know and may even be in a loving relationship with but not from strangers who just do it without asking you? Don’t you realize how gray that line is? I tried understanding the difference between those too scenarios and I pooped myself. It’s too hard.

12. Speak out against misandry. It’s out there… somewhere.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Augochlorella wins an internet. With a bow on.

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