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#INeedMasculismBecause nothing is funnier than MRAs sincerely trying to explain their dumb beliefs to the world

MRA Tweet Generating Room
MRA Tweet Generating Room

So: many if not most of you have probably heard about the whole #INeedMasculismBecause thing. For those who aren’t: a bunch of Men’s Rights Redditors and other MRAs, inspired by a post on 4Chan, decided to swarm Twitter with #INeedMasculismBecause tweets in response to the #INeedFeminismBecause hashtag. Feminists responded by outswarming the MRAs, flooding their new hashtag with often quite hilarious parodies of MRAspeak, as well as some just plain ridiculousness.

Today, on r/mensrights, MRAs are surveying the damage in a host of different threads, with some plaintively wondering “why is everyone so hostile towards the idea of men having issues,” and others claiming that the hashtag really “started as a caricature of Men’s Rights, in order to lure out the real life caricatures of Radical Feminism.” Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Jezebel has already chronicled some of the funniest parody tweets. And I was thinking of doing the same. I mean, these are pretty good:

twpa1twpa2twpa4twpa3

Ok, that last one was just a dumb joke about someone ordering a watermelon-flavored drink. I “favorite” a lot of things.

Anyway, catching up on the whole thing last night, I found myself thinking that the parody comments – as funny as some  of them were – couldn’t really compete with the loopiness of the real MRA tweets.

So here are some #INeedMasculismBecause tweets by some of my new favorite Twitter MRAs. (I only started going through these really late last night, so a lot of my examples come from the Indian MRAs who were posting prolifically at the time.)

Let’s start with Average Man, who opened a new Twitter account just for the occasion:

twav3twav4twav5twav2

Uh, maybe they gave you “less marks” because you don’t know the difference between “less” and “lower.”

Alexander shared these somewhat perplexing thoughts:

twal1twal2

The prolific SaveIndianFamilyNGO had all sorts of interesting opinions:

twsi2twsi3twsi4twsi5twsi6twsi7 twsi8twsi9

I found myself often perplexed by wnnbl, but I don’t think his troubles with English were the main problem:

twwn1twwn2twwn4twwn3twwn5joke

I assume these last two are jokes, but honestly, who knows?

I have no idea what Virag was going on about with these tweets:

twvi1

But this one at least was pretty clear:

twvi2

Atit seems to have a rather strange idea of what “equality for men” means:

twat1

Warrior for Justice also doesn’t seem to like women very much:

twwf1twwf2

Martin Clausen ramped up his largely dormant Twitter account to post these gems:

twmc1twmc2twmc3twmc4

I don’t quite know what to make of Jackson here, but he seems to be a real MRA.

twjk1twjk2

This is just a theory, but maybe women look at you strangely when you pick up your kids because of that uncontrollable boner you mentioned earlier?

twjk3twjk4

MRAs show once again that they’re beyond parody — or at least indistinguishable from it.

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The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I love that snail video! Not nice to laugh even when the junk’s in your face, lol!

First time I read about snails’ mating habits was in one of Gerald Durrell’s books, either My Family and Other Animals or Birds, Beasts and Relatives. He describes seeing snails mating and rushing back to tell his family about it. His friend Theo explains about them being hermaphrodites, and Gerry’s brother Larry explodes about it being unfair that “those damn slimy things are wandering about seducing each other in the bushes and getting the pleasure of both sensations” when humans aren’t.

cloudiah
11 years ago

You can find David Fucktrelle here.

BRB. I’ve gathered some ladies and we’re going 4 bear.

nerdypants
nerdypants
11 years ago

I know I’ve seen the “Fucktrelle” guy elsewhere a couple of times, can’t remember where.

Roosh’s blog, most likely. They troll there. Quakers showed you one of Fucktrelle’s comments a little while ago, speculating about who they are. I have no idea – Fucktrelle recently posted a The Amazing Atheist vid at me, so it’s possible that that’s who they are, though the writing style is different. It’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a taco.

Yoyo
Yoyo
11 years ago

Cloudiah, be reminded a koala is not a bear although it would take at least 4 mras to tackle one. Those things get nasty.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Hang on, are we talking pants as in underwear or pants as in trousers? I’m not giving up on either, so nyeerh to the MRM.

“Stalk” seems an apt name for that creep; all he needs is “er” added to the end of it, since he’s so worried about nasty women making life difficult for poor men who really can’t be expected to control themselves at all in the presence of female bodies not in burkas.

Yoyo
Yoyo
11 years ago

The kitteh, pants help with escaping buttock syndrome that seems to plague these guys.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

If you assert that you have the right to dress as you please and that men should be able to control their sexuality, honour their right to be shielded from yours.

… Owly???

As for ironing underwear, if you have elasticated leg holes, don’t do that. It makes the elastic hard and stabby.

Deoridhe
Deoridhe
11 years ago

5 man gather go 4 bear; 5 woman gather, go 4 landsnail and that’s real.

kysokisaen
11 years ago

I am am mathematician

Take with a grain of salt. Indian universities churn out their fair share of qualified STEM grads, but the country also has a STEM diploma mill problem like you wouldn’t believe.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

That 12 Step guy really has a problem with wire meaning things.

Masculinity and femininity are inherently different. They are neither equals nor opposites, but different parts of the sexual continuum that can’t be defined from each other. Actively separate masculinity from femininity […] Empathy, wisdom, grace, mercy, compassion and love are all as masculine as they are feminine.

There were only a handful of sentences separating these contradictions. *facepalm*

They are inherently different, but they share all the good human qualities with each other (and I suppose the bad ones since both sexes can be evil)! So, now that we’ve accounted for all the human traits and said they are both masculine and feminine, let’s go ahead and actively separate them. The Evil Feminist in me calls dibs on all the good ones, leaving masculinity with all the bad traits, and so continuing to follow step 7 after doing step 8 has got me violating step 8. I’d ask for help understanding this mess, but then all the women here would be violating step 6.

This shit is hard and that’s real.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

*words not wire

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

The kitteh, pants help with escaping buttock syndrome that seems to plague these guys.

I need brain bleach after that image! 😀

augochlorella
augochlorella
11 years ago

@ Jake Hamby
I think “disgusting on” read like “hatin’ on” makes the tweet extra hilarious.

augochlorella
augochlorella
11 years ago

I believe the “True Facts About” guy also narrated this wonderful video. (Here goes an attempt at embedding a video.)

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyXJ1sAQtaY&w=560&h=315%5D

augochlorella
augochlorella
11 years ago

And I’m too dumb to embed a video.

And that’s real.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Copy just the http: etc to embed ’em here – from the Share This box on YouTube. 🙂 Just make sure it’s http: and not https:.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“You can already do that now. Why would commando not be an option in a “non-panty-free world”, which is what we have now and is not a hypothetical situation?”

Is my cabin fever that bad, or did I not say that going commando is currently an option, thus making a panty free world not really a perk for the commando fans, cuz commando is already an option?

Someone borrow a tank or something and come get me, being stuck in here with my relatives is not helping my sanity any. Emergency vehicles keep getting stuck, so a tank would be ideal…maybe.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@augochlorella

That video is awesome! I am going to be quoting from that irl from now on!

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

Equality requires that everyone pants or not pants! It is known.
and that’s real.

Deoridhe
Deoridhe
11 years ago

Get rid of the self-induced schizophrenia.

May he be teleported to a world full of legos on the floor, and no shoes.

*sends an airlift for Argenti*

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

OMG!! That video is made of win.

Cthulhu's Intern
11 years ago

You know what’s funny? The original guys on 4chan are acting like that was their plan all along that feminists would mock the shit out of them.

Also, “While no one was looking, Lex Luthor stole forty cakes! He took 40 cakes! That’s as many as four tens! And that’s real.”

augochlorella
augochlorella
11 years ago

Also, “While no one was looking, Lex Luthor stole forty cakes! He took 40 cakes! That’s as many as four tens! And that’s real.”

You win. You win everything. All of the things. In fact, I need a break. I’m at that point where laughing starts to hurt. I’ll be back to lurk (and maybe post) tomorrow.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

That video is All The Wins.