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Fidelbogen’s Sonnets for the Portuguese

Brazilians celebrate the arrival of Fidelbogen em Português
Brazilians celebrate the arrival of Fidelbogen em Português

Brazilians! Portuguese! I have fantastic news! Fidelbogen is now available in Portuguese!

Yes, our old frenemy Fidelbogen, the self-described Counter-Feminist Agent of Change (CFAC), and the would-be philosopher king of the manosphere, has managed to find someone who is, for some perverse reason, willing to translate snippets from Mr. F’s blogs into Portuguese.

This is a bit ironic, in that Fidelbogen’s writing, in its original English, reads a lot like a bad translation from the German. He’s a writer of almost pathological verbosity; rarely has any writer said so little with so many words. Not that, at the root, he has much to say; underneath all the verbiage, his ideas are trite and simplistic. And yet he seems convinced that he’s a genius. He’s one of those terrible writers who thinks he’s great. The manosphere is full of them.

And so I thought I’d use the opportunity to present some examples of Fidelbogen’s magisterial prose.

These examples are all from Mr. F’s new blog, CounterSnippets, which he evidently sees as a sort of “Dummies” version of his regular blog, The Counter-Feminist, a place where he can put forth pithy counter-feminist slogans for the masses. As he describes it:

This blog is a meme-dispersion apparatus. It is called “counter-snippets” because it features snippets of counter-feminist philosophy — sometimes one or two sentences, but typically a short paragraph. Each snippet is designed to be memorable and to stick in the reader’s mind. Having done so, it may take root and grow like a seed

As you’ll see from the examples below, Mr. F has not quite mastered the fine art of pithiness just yet.

Each of these quotes is from a separate post.

The complete phenomenology of female supremacism outdistances what any given feminist would openly acknowledge to be feminism, and the word feminism itself operates as a misdirection of attention. (Source)

In the end, the non-feminist revolution is not an identifiable human target group but a cloud of forces manifesting through human actions which can sometimes be politically linked to each other, but other times not. (Source)

In the end, the feminist left gets the bulk of its blood supply from the feminist right.  And that blood supply is nothing less than old-school gynocentrism itself. (Source)

Feminism has driven you fifty miles out into the country and left you there to fend for yourselves. Yes, it is unwise to take rides from strangers. Now you’ve got some walking to do, but hopefully the exercise will prove beneficial. I am the messenger. (Source)

We would understand feminism as a gynonormative project, while acknowledging that it could not have come into operation without a preexisting base of gynocentricity in the traditional culture.

Gynonormativization is integral to the establishment of female supremacy. (Source)

Counter-feminist analysis concludes that feminism and female supremacism are interchangeable terms, and we assert that no other analysis will generate effective political traction.

You may agree, or not, that feminism equals female supremacism — yet female supremacism as a datum is not to be doubted. (Source)

We of the non-feminist sector claim the status of an autonomous power with respect to the feminist power on earth, and we demand the full measure of diplomatic courtesy due to such a status. (Source)

Feminism as a whole needs both the academic and the pop cohorts. The academic cohort is needful so that feminism will have an intellectual vanguard — so that the snake will have a head, in other words. The pop cohort is needful so that the vanguard ideology will be demographically incarnated in numbers — so that the snake will have a body, in other words. (Source)

Remember that ALL feminism is packed into a system of interwoven karma. ALL feminism contributes to an evolutionary trajectory which points toward a radical feminist future. (Source)

Your message will take root and grow only if you make the herd disintegrate. Do that, and their power to dismiss your message will disintegrate in tandem. And when people get to this point, they will instinctively cast about in search of a new herd they can join. You know how joiners are. So it is a good idea to prepare something they can cling to, that they will be more readily persuaded to make the jump. (Source)

If we translate all of his posts from Fidelbogenese to plain old English, the message of his blog seems to be pretty simple:

1) We non-feminists should be the ones to define what feminism is.

2) Not all feminists are radical feminists but somehow they really all are, because of … karma?

3) Once we defeat feminism, it should be easy enought to herd the former feminists into our flock if we set forth some nifty little memes for them to “cling to.”

It’s hard to imagine a philosophy that’s much more condescending and cynical than this. No wonder Fidelbogen tries to disguise his philosophy in giant gasous clouds of verbiage.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Describing someone’s blog that’s dedicated to convincing everyone else to hate women as much as he does as his “work” – just a little pretentious.

Dagrabbit
Dagrabbit
7 years ago

What is it with MRAs and feminists as vampires?

Well, that menstrual blood that some of us shed has to come from the neck of SOMEBODY. =D

Dagrabbit
Dagrabbit
7 years ago

Jealous much? You bring yourself down to this level to try insulting other people’s writing and work?

Jealous of weak writing skills? Not particularly, no.

whataboutthemoonz
7 years ago

Every time you point out that someone’s writing is terrible, someone shows up to accuse you of jealousy.

Sometimes, shitty writing is just shitty.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

If I was paid by the word I might be jealous of his ability to bury a very simple point in so much verbiage that the whole thing ends up being 10 times as long as it needs to be? But I’m not, so no, not jealous.

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

“Your torte, sir.”

“This … this looks and smells like shit.”

“YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS B/C YOU CAN’T COOK”

pillow in hell
pillow in hell
7 years ago

Ugh. I think I either need a school of Babelfish or a hundred years travel time in a TARDIS to make sense of Fidelbogen.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Sudden thought – are Fidelbogen and Meller related? If not perhaps they could at least be friends. Meller seems like he could use some friends who aren’t made of plastic or porcelain.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Mornin’ all. 🙂

AC/DC – nope, no strong feelings about them at all. Just never interested in their stuff. My teens were devoted to ELO, Mike Oldfield, Rick Wakeman, Abba, if we’re talking about bands whose records I bothered buying. Only Australian band I liked, and only to the extent of having one of their singles, was Skyhooks.

I was young enough to be pleased when a woman became Prime Minister of Britain, and wasn’t taking much notice of politics during the 80s. But everything I learned about Thatcher since, and Reagan, disgusts me. It’s more visceral with Thatcher, probably because I’m more emotionally invested in Britain, having loved its history since I was a little tacker. Howard I loathe, still. The day he got done in 2007 AND lost his seat – only the second standing Oz PM to do – was a great day, however disappointing Labor has been.

Anyone jealous of Fidelbogen’s writing … gods, I’d hate to see how bad theirs would be.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Meller seems like he could use some friends who aren’t made of plastic or porcelain.

Could he handle dealing with someone (even a male someone) who wasn’t totally passive?

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
7 years ago

@titianblue,

What is it with MRAs and feminists as vampires?

there is the discourse of republicans as zombies and democrats as vampires. That last link is dated 2008 and I can’t be bothered going back more than 3 pages into Google search to see if this motif goes back any earlier.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Injecting a little class consciousness into this, shouldn’t it be Republicans who’re the vampires? As in, parasitic aristocrats sucking the life out of the peasantry and using charm and glamor to make the peasantry go along with it? Also, old-school vampires tended to prefer female victims.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@Dagrabbit

Well, that menstrual blood that some of us shed has to come from the neck of SOMEBODY.

This seems like it would fit right in with what passes for anatomy in MRA, Republican, etc. circles. I like it! It makes me wonder if we have a direct line from mouth and/or stomach to the uterus, if we have some sort of blood pouch, or if we absorb the blood and things continue in a more conventional fashion. (I’ve probably spent too much time considering how regular vampires would work…) I like the blood pouch idea, personally. I bet we could convince quite a few MRAs of its existence. Their gullibility when it comes to weird tales of creepy female anatomy seems limitless.

Dagrabbit
Dagrabbit
7 years ago

Some Gal: I think an MRAnatomy book needs to be written! The forward can be by Dr. Zoidberg and the illustrations can be in the style of this (NSFW) Oglaf webcomic… http://www.oglaf.com/sexmanual/

Maybe someday we can get them past “the head bone’s connected to the neck bone” and the four humours! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humorism

Some Gal Not Bored at All

I was thinking of imbalanced humors when I thought about the possibility of feminist vampires absorbing the extra blood! (Bring me leeches, posthaste!) However, I think if we start heading in that direction, what we really need to address is the build-up of MRA bile!

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Hi guys… I wonder if I could extract a bit of sympathy?

I know many people here struggle with mental illness. Well, I just got bad side-effects from Haldol. I’ve been taking Haldol on-off since I was twenty, and never had any bad side-effects. I started taking it again a week ago because I became borderline psychotic – and now suddenly my brain decided that it doesn’t like Haldol any longer, so it’s gonna make my tongue and left hand stiff in response.

Hopefully these side-effect goes away again if I’ll just stop taking it now. But then I’ll have to embark again on the onerous journey of the guinea pig, trying to find something that a) works against the hypo-manic and borderline psychotic (which may become straight-out psychotic if left untreated) symptoms I occasionally suffer, and b) doesn’t have bad side-effects.

*sigh* 🙁

howardbann1ster
7 years ago

Dvärghundspossen–that sounds like it sucks. 🙁

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Thanks Howard. Yeah it does.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@ Dvärghundspossen

I am so sorry and I wish you all the best. I hate trying out drugs to see which fit. To me, there is the uncertainty and worry (sometimes outright fear) that with each drug you try there might be no benefit at all and just a bunch of unpleasant side effects. The more drugs you go through, the more you get to feel like the whole exercise is just fruitless. (I just went through that with trying to find a mood stabilizer and the best we got was Abilify, which, as I’ve mentioned before, gives me terrible anxiety. I can’t try Cymbalta without it, though. Anyway, not to make this all about me, just I understand.) The process might suck (after all, just having to do it sucks), but I hope it sucks as little as possible and that you find the right drug for you ASAP. My thoughts are with you.

Also, my sympathy for the change in how your body handles the Haldol. It has got to be awful and unsettling to have something you’ve depended on change into something you can’t.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Thankyou so much Some Gal. I hope the best to you too, and that you eventually find a mood stabiliser that doesn’t give you anxiety.

There’s a saying in Swedish which goes “boten är värre än soten”. It means, in slightly archaic language, “the cure is worse than the illness”. No fun when it feels like that.

Creative Writing Student

@dvaghundsposen (sorry for misspelling if I did)

*hugs if wanted*

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Thanks!

Nice Ogress
Nice Ogress
7 years ago

I am late to this party, but I’d like to report that reading Fidelbogen’s purple prose while mentally translating it into the voice of Mojo Jojo almost makes it bearable and certainly makes it funny.

I think I’ve probably bollixed that link. >_> Hopefully not!

Nice Ogress
Nice Ogress
7 years ago

Hooray!

Kristen
Kristen
7 years ago

Aw crap…just read the blog in portuguese, it does not seem to come from a translating website, but really someone who speaks portuguese. Am now very disappointed in my fellow Brazilians (or Portuguese since I’m not too sure who translated it).

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Regarding painful amounts of verbiage, I soldiered through my first scholarly article in ages on moral status and integration in multiples. (Translated into Layman: “Hey guys! Maybe how people treat multiples is fucked up! We should think on this.”)

It was a subject I care deeply about, I was hugely interested… and oh god, it was just so fucking dry, nineteen pages of hammering down the exact definition of selfhood, of moral status, of multiplicity, of defending his stances on all of these things, all in language where instead of, “Yes,” you said, “I would be inclined to give an affirmative answer.”

And it was only nineteen pages, a frickin’ wisp by academic standards! God, it hurt. It hurt me right in the brain area.

I’m just ignoring DL until they go the fuck away for good.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Dvarghundspossen, I am so sorry you’re not well and the Haldol is not working like it should (ie not stuffing you around even more) – more internet hugs for you!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LBT – that’s a pain in the arse, it’s a subject I’d like to learn more about, but yeah, reading academic papers is almost as much fun as rubbing sand in your eyes.

Amusing tale on that line: I once did a sort of fan letter to an historian who’d done articles and books on Cardinal Richelieu, asking him what he meant about something. I mentioned having read his first book (on the Cardinal’s finances – interesting material, pretty dry writing) and he was “Oh god, you managed to plow through that?” 😀

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

The thing I don’t get about Fidelbogen’s chosen writing style is that he’s trying to win people over to the MRA cause, right? If you want to win people over to your cause then you need to make an effort to make your argument easy to understand. Be engaging, be succinct, and ffs be clear.

His writing is none of these things.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@CassandraSays

I think he is more concerned with patting himself on the back than he is with converting anybody. I’m not sure that these types of misogynists really want too many people agreeing with them anyway, it would challenge their view of themselves as brave, “anti-PC,” marginalized truth-tellers.

All of the MRAs write terribly, but I think some of them really do need/want an audience (and the fans and praise that come with it). Fidelbogen strikes me as someone who is so devoted to himself and his writings that any other admiration is superfluous.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Some Gal – seconding that.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: CassandraSays

Be engaging, be succinct, and ffs be clear.

This is a problem I see with a LOT of attempted activism, actually, not just fidelbogen. (Though he deserves props for sheer purpleness.) The jargon and academia of queer theory and crap ALONE gives me agro. (Looking at YOU, Judith Butler.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

It’s so stupid, isn’t it? Like, what’s the point of talking solely to an in-group if it’s about social justice issues? How is that going to help get the message across?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

@ LBT

Especially with something like queer theory where part of what you need to do is reach out to young people who may be confused and who probably haven’t hit the stage where they know the jargon yet, it’s really counterproductive to write that way. Not everything needs to be aimed at a general audience, but at least SOME of it should be.

Integral
Integral
7 years ago

We would understand feminism as a gynonormative project, while acknowledging that it could not have come into operation without a preexisting base of gynocentricity in the traditional culture.

Good luck plastering that on a hamster.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Ooh, can we encourage them to make buttons? I want to see this shit on a button.

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

Imagine opening a fortune cookie & finding one of those snippets ….

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Never have I felt so metal as when I read that I am “basically a microbaby graveyard.”

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

OMG, this could be better than when one of L7 threw her tampon at a heckler. Just think of the potential lyrics!

Dagrabbit
Dagrabbit
7 years ago

Dvärghundspossen: My sympathies. When meds do things they most certainly are NOT supposed to do, it’s frustrating as hell. =(

Nice Ogress: The Mojo Jojo speech is right on the nose!

Some Gal: Well, this blood isn’t going to let itself! The very thought is making me quite melancholy! *ducks flying tomatoes*

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@Viscaria

It makes me feel a little like the Tardis – bigger on the inside. I find the idea of going for a walk or a picnic with friends in my microbaby graveyard rather charming. Very Walt Whitman (“I am large, I contain multitudes” taken a bit too literally). I know it is supposed to creep me out, but it just seems pretty awesome.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: CassandraSays & Kittehs

What doubly frustrates me is the meme of “educate yourself.” I realize that nobody is obligated to do education all the time, hell, sometimes I need a break, but acting like educating yourself is truly that easy is just… patronizing as fuck. (I mean, if you work two jobs and your only internet access is half-hour chunks once a week at the public library, researching jargon likely isn’t high on the list. Never mind if you have dyslexia or something that makes the Internet a UI nightmare.)

I mean, I realize people’s frustration… but I really, really wish the smart-aleck “educate yourself” retort would just die.

Creative Writing Student

I found the baby graveyard thing creepy… not in a ‘well I will remove my Implant and only have reproductive sex within marriage in the missionary position’ result but more ‘ok, how easy is a DIY hysterectomy, and would it be better to do it in the kitchen or the bathroom?’ result.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@Creative Writing Student

I hope my weird infatuation with the image didn’t make it worse. If it did, I’m very sorry.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

“Educate yourself” to some splainy troll who wants someone else to do their reading for them? Sure! “Educate yourself” to everyone who doesn’t immediately get it? I can see why people do that, but it’s often not very helpful, nor does it help to dispel the idea that feminism has class issues. Every time I see that I imagine how it must read to someone like the person you just described.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Dvärghundspossen — ick, I’m sorry — my worst drug failure was “contraindications: bipolar” and oh hey! So yeah, I wish you all the best and hope you find something that works soon, and that any side effects are tolerable. And if hugs are welcome — *hugs*

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Creative Writing Student — I realize you’re almost certainly joking, but the answer to DIY hysterectomy is no — there’s one case of a woman surviving DIY c-section and it’s basically held as a medical miracle. Pretty sure she went for the kitchen though.

clairedammit
clairedammit
7 years ago

Dvärghundspossen, I’m sorry to hear about your side effects. I hope you find something effective and side-effect free soon!

cloudiah
7 years ago

Dvärghundspossen, I’m also sorry about the side effects, and sending internet hugs your way. Just wave them off if they’re not wanted.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: CassandraSays

Yeah, and my frustration is primarily for 101 sites that do that. High level academic sites, I sort of expect a layer of jargon, and that’s okay. It’s also personal on a level, since my first exposure to the trans community was a drag king festival. I went there, and all of this lingo was getting used that I didn’t know (I was a confused college teenager raised in the South USA), like genderqueer and bioqueen, and I kept my mouth shut, because I was positive asking would be offensive.

I mean, I didn’t end up offending anyone, and everything went fine. But I felt completely detached from the proceedings, and a complete stranger, and it left an impression. I decided that obviously I wasn’t one of these people, and I haven’t really spent much time in queer or trans spaces since.