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Fidelbogen’s Sonnets for the Portuguese

Brazilians celebrate the arrival of Fidelbogen em Português
Brazilians celebrate the arrival of Fidelbogen em Português

Brazilians! Portuguese! I have fantastic news! Fidelbogen is now available in Portuguese!

Yes, our old frenemy Fidelbogen, the self-described Counter-Feminist Agent of Change (CFAC), and the would-be philosopher king of the manosphere, has managed to find someone who is, for some perverse reason, willing to translate snippets from Mr. F’s blogs into Portuguese.

This is a bit ironic, in that Fidelbogen’s writing, in its original English, reads a lot like a bad translation from the German. He’s a writer of almost pathological verbosity; rarely has any writer said so little with so many words. Not that, at the root, he has much to say; underneath all the verbiage, his ideas are trite and simplistic. And yet he seems convinced that he’s a genius. He’s one of those terrible writers who thinks he’s great. The manosphere is full of them.

And so I thought I’d use the opportunity to present some examples of Fidelbogen’s magisterial prose.

These examples are all from Mr. F’s new blog, CounterSnippets, which he evidently sees as a sort of “Dummies” version of his regular blog, The Counter-Feminist, a place where he can put forth pithy counter-feminist slogans for the masses. As he describes it:

This blog is a meme-dispersion apparatus. It is called “counter-snippets” because it features snippets of counter-feminist philosophy — sometimes one or two sentences, but typically a short paragraph. Each snippet is designed to be memorable and to stick in the reader’s mind. Having done so, it may take root and grow like a seed

As you’ll see from the examples below, Mr. F has not quite mastered the fine art of pithiness just yet.

Each of these quotes is from a separate post.

The complete phenomenology of female supremacism outdistances what any given feminist would openly acknowledge to be feminism, and the word feminism itself operates as a misdirection of attention. (Source)

In the end, the non-feminist revolution is not an identifiable human target group but a cloud of forces manifesting through human actions which can sometimes be politically linked to each other, but other times not. (Source)

In the end, the feminist left gets the bulk of its blood supply from the feminist right.  And that blood supply is nothing less than old-school gynocentrism itself. (Source)

Feminism has driven you fifty miles out into the country and left you there to fend for yourselves. Yes, it is unwise to take rides from strangers. Now you’ve got some walking to do, but hopefully the exercise will prove beneficial. I am the messenger. (Source)

We would understand feminism as a gynonormative project, while acknowledging that it could not have come into operation without a preexisting base of gynocentricity in the traditional culture.

Gynonormativization is integral to the establishment of female supremacy. (Source)

Counter-feminist analysis concludes that feminism and female supremacism are interchangeable terms, and we assert that no other analysis will generate effective political traction.

You may agree, or not, that feminism equals female supremacism — yet female supremacism as a datum is not to be doubted. (Source)

We of the non-feminist sector claim the status of an autonomous power with respect to the feminist power on earth, and we demand the full measure of diplomatic courtesy due to such a status. (Source)

Feminism as a whole needs both the academic and the pop cohorts. The academic cohort is needful so that feminism will have an intellectual vanguard — so that the snake will have a head, in other words. The pop cohort is needful so that the vanguard ideology will be demographically incarnated in numbers — so that the snake will have a body, in other words. (Source)

Remember that ALL feminism is packed into a system of interwoven karma. ALL feminism contributes to an evolutionary trajectory which points toward a radical feminist future. (Source)

Your message will take root and grow only if you make the herd disintegrate. Do that, and their power to dismiss your message will disintegrate in tandem. And when people get to this point, they will instinctively cast about in search of a new herd they can join. You know how joiners are. So it is a good idea to prepare something they can cling to, that they will be more readily persuaded to make the jump. (Source)

If we translate all of his posts from Fidelbogenese to plain old English, the message of his blog seems to be pretty simple:

1) We non-feminists should be the ones to define what feminism is.

2) Not all feminists are radical feminists but somehow they really all are, because of … karma?

3) Once we defeat feminism, it should be easy enought to herd the former feminists into our flock if we set forth some nifty little memes for them to “cling to.”

It’s hard to imagine a philosophy that’s much more condescending and cynical than this. No wonder Fidelbogen tries to disguise his philosophy in giant gasous clouds of verbiage.

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CassandraSays
11 years ago

I can never read more than a few paragraphs of is stuff at a time before it all starts to seem bit Time Cube-ish.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Don’t cult leaders, Jim Jones types think like this:

“You know how joiners are. So it is a good idea to prepare something they can cling to, that they will be more readily persuaded to make the jump.”

Yeah. He also seems to think feminism has been influencing culture for thousands of years. You can’t fake stupid like this.

CassandraSays
11 years ago

What, you’re not familiar with founding feminist thinker Dworkines The Elder, who was a contemporary of Aristotle’s?

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

*giggling* I guess not, Cassandra. I have to live in this reality, not another dimension or parallel world.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Awww hell, gotta retire. ‘Night everyone.

Shadow
Shadow
11 years ago

Feminism has driven you fifty miles out into the country and left you there to fend for yourselves. Yes, it is unwise to take rides from strangers. Now you’ve got some walking to do, but hopefully the exercise will prove beneficial. I am the messenger

This one in particular is bound to become a meme post haste. A real earworm if ever I’ve seen one

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
11 years ago

I want to start ending all my statements with “I am the messenger” now. That’s awesome.

cloudiah
11 years ago

I am watching Mea Maxima Culpa on HBO (about child sexual abuse in the Catholic Church), and it is searingly awful. The wholesale abandonment of children to abuse… Hard to process. How could this happen, for so long with so many people aware of it?

Reporters just uncovered the fact that one of the serial abusers in LA was finally removed from positions of authority in the Church. The Church then gave him a good reference for his next job, with the Los Angeles Unified School District. 0_0

Jake Hamby (@jhamby)
11 years ago

Wait, Fidelbogen’s German? I thought he was a native English speaker. Wow, says a lot about MRA’s writing if a guy whose first language isn’t English and clearly isn’t that good about speaking English sounds just like the native English speakers.

I think David meant that Fidelbogen’s writing sounds as if it were translated from German, even though it presumably wasn’t.

If his stuff was just a little bit funnier I’d suspect that he was a Poe mocking the most jargon-filled kind of academic feminist writing. The first few quotes read like a bizarro world version of something from the Maoist feminist collective that puts out hilarious movie reviews.

That’s exactly what I was thinking when I read it. Well, I was thinking “Marxist MRA collective” but Maoist is even closer to the mark.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
11 years ago

The Church then gave him a good reference for his next job, with the Los Angeles Unified School District. 0_0

“He really loves kids.”

…too far?

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
11 years ago

By the way, has everyone seen this yet?

http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2013/02/04/i-have-nearly-200-tiny-babies-in-my-uterus-right-now/

SO AMAZING. Truly a man boob moment. (Biologists, you may want to be sitting down.)

Deoridhe
11 years ago

I want to laugh at the gross misuse of both datum and karma, but my face is stuck in this sort of rictus of terror and I can’t! Seem! To! More! It!

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

WordPress why you eat my comment?!

Anyways, regarding dead babies collecting in a uterus, that’s kind of an actual thing (warning, coffee alert, and general grossness) — http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lithopedion

Really, really rare though, and not remotely related to birth control pills. (This is me applying real science to prevent head implosion)

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

For a minute there I thought Fidelbogen had written some extremely wordy sonnet. I was disappoint.

But then I realized that if I had read it, I would be reading a sonnet written by Fidelbogen. Can you imagine?

My Mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun.
The shade of red which is on her lips is appreciably less red than that of coral, which is much brighter.
If hairs be wires, one would not be amiss in saying that perhapsily her head appeared to be growing black wires from its surface…

Omit needless words, buddy!

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

In other words, feminism is FEMALE SUPREMACISM. And whatever supports or boosts the female supremacist project is a part of feminism’s cultural supply chain — otherwise known as the Feministical Operations Complex (or “femplex” for short).

lmbo

CassandraSays
11 years ago

“Feministical” sounds like something that my grandad would have said while on a drunken rant.

…Oh.

cloudiah
11 years ago

“Perhapsily” — like Cassandra, I am totally stealing that.

I am still slogging through this HBO documentary; a priest just argued that he should get a free pass on his child abuse because he gave 23 years of his life to the priesthood. So terrible.

DLColvin (llothcat)
11 years ago

What a wall of blather. Instead of being able to sort through the mess, can only think of a graphic square, filled with that blather, and in front of it stands the speaker, with an empty word balloon.

Love that pic you have up there for it though.

danielleparadis
11 years ago
Reply to  cloudiah

They know! They always threaten my with cat-lady spinsterhood

danielleparadis
11 years ago

Me*

katz
11 years ago

DLColvin, how can we miss you if you won’t leave?

DLColvin (llothcat)
11 years ago

I’ll go as soon as mt scandisk is done. Bored.

gratuitous_violet
gratuitous_violet
11 years ago

I’m pleased (not really) to report that he is just as tedious in Portuguese, which is quite a feat considering it and other Romance languages aren’t as suited for excess verbiage. Of course, if you find yourself a translator who does a literal word-for-word translation while throwing in some weird fuckups while he’s at it, I guess you can be just as painful to read in two languages!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Cassandra – that’s what I thought when I saw “joiners”. 😀

“Feminism has driven you fifty miles out into the country and left you there to fend for yourselves. ”

He forgets that feminists are not helpless puppies, we are CATS and you know how quickly cats revert to the wild. All those tales about giant black panthers roaming the hills and killing cattle in [insert country of choice]? They’re really feminists!

Neurite
Neurite
11 years ago

Oh, this is awesome. As someone who seriously needs to work on her conciseness, I am going to declare this a writing exercise. I shall attempt the rewrite each of these quotes into something actually pithy.

1. “Feminism” is a smokescreen to disguise female supremacism.

2. Feminism is not who you are, but what you do.

3. Gynocentrism makes strange bedfellows.

4. Fidelbogen’s acid has kicked in.

5. Feminism is an ongoing effort, but traditional culture set the stage for it.

6. Gynonormativization is integral to the establishment of female supremacy.
(This one was actually already pithy! Nonsensical, but pithy!)

7. Feminism and female supremacism are interchangeable terms.

8. Female supremacism exists.

9. Non-feminists have declared themselves an independent state.

10. Academic feminism is the snake’s head, pop culture is its body.

11. All feminism contributes to a radical feminist future.

12. Divide and conquer.