Oh, Reddit, not again. So about a week ago, a woman posted what seemed to be a heartfelt and sorrowful confession to r/confession with the self-explanatory title “I cheated on my sweetheart of a husband for 3 years with my violent, abusive ex. This is the one secret I am taking to my grave.”
Now, r/confession purports to be a subreddit devoted to helping out those who confess their wrongdoings, and the sidebar warns potential commenters not to be abusive: “No personal attacks, we are not here to make people feel bad.”
But Reddit being Reddit – that is, a hotbed of resentful “nice guys” always looking for an excuse to vilify women in general or a woman in particular – many of the commenters attacked the OP as an evil “scumbag,” or worse. While the worst comments were deleted by the mods, many attacks on the OP remain, some with literally hundreds of upvotes. Those who expressed any degree of empathy for the OP found their comments roundly downvoted.
After a few days, the discussion died down.
But then, after several days of silence, a new wave of abusive comments started to appear. Like this one:
And this:
Oh, but there’s more:
I’ve saved the worst for last. (I’ve also included the response from the confessor herself.) TRIGGER WARNING for violence.
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So how did a dead thread like this come to life again, and so unpleasantly? Well, you guessed it: it got linked to in r/mensrights and later in r/redpill, a smaller and even more extreme “men’s rights” subreddit. And indeed, if you look at the comment histories of the people I’ve just quoted, you’ll see that most of them also posted in either r/mensrights or r/redpill around the time they made these comments.
It’s a fair guess that many of the upvotes that these terrible comments got also came from visiting r/menrights-ers.
Back in r/mensrights, one commenter, disgusted by all this, chronicled some of the bad behavior of his MRA comrades:
A lot more people besides IBM2431 are going to have to stand up and speak out if they want to clean up r/mensrights’ well-deserved reputation as a net exporter of hate.
Not that r/confession is absolved of blame here. While commenters there piled on this woman, who seemed sincerely sorry for what she said she had done, the r/confession regulars found nothing wrong with the behavior of another commenter — a dude, of course — who confessed he’d “fapped” a number of times to cam footage he found of a friend of his sister’s masturbating — which was evidently recorded and put online without her knowledge or consent.
NOTE: By the time this post goes up, it’s possible and even likely that the mods of r/confession will have deleted the worst of the comments from the r/mensrights and r/redpill invaders. But they should still be visible in the comment histories of those who posted them.
*in NO way
I guess having a threesome with another woman isn’t cheating, because that’s the kind of lesbian sex women don’t actually enjoy because it’s done purely for the benefit of any men watching.
Imagine being “Bisexual and open to the idea of threesomes” and a “Virgin, but willing to learn”. Imagine being attracted to both men and women and up for a threesome, and all of the sexual adventures you could have… and denying yourself those so you can save your virginity for a total arsehole… no wonder Mr Neckbeard claimed he was single and would probably remain so forever. Honestly Mr NB- it’s not us, it’s you.
“This r/redpill thread may be the saddest thing I have ever read. It’s just … I don’t know why it’s never occurred to these guys that women are human beings.”
Wait, that thread reads:
“I didn’t talk to women for a long time, then I saw a hot women in a shoe shop and asked her out. She was nice but couldn’t. I think asked out another hot women I didn’t know and she agreed to go out with me, but we turned out incompatible. What am I doing wrong?”
I mean if you get annoyed about being successful with women because it is unfair they rejected you, you probably can’t win
Pear_tree- basically he’s saying “I got rejected by one woman, then another said yes but it didn’t work out”. To me that sounds like a pretty standard experience of dating, and like he’s been doing pretty well, all things considered! Does he really expect every woman to say “yes” and then to be 100% compatible with him?
…mind you, “but we turned out incompatible” coming from an MRA probably means she did something utterly heinous, like forgetting to shave her legs one day.
That guy’s problem is that he needs to either ask out some women, or just a woman. Dating a women never works out.
I cover all this and more in my book Salisbury Peenfeels’ The Art of Mystery Game One Night Stands Hot Sex Buy Louis V5itton Peni5 Enhancers For Last All Night.
Why are there so many of these guys? I mean, I get that there will always be some men like that, and some people who are just horrible, but enough to form whole communities? And why are so many of them young? No, it is not normal for so many young people to be so angry and hateful. I see it at my university too. I hear ‘sex is impossible to get for guys’ all the time, and they have just given up. Whenever I go out with a young guy I hear a woman described as a cunt or a bitch every other sentence. I know it’s not everyone, of course, but it is a large percentage of them, and there’s this incredible anger under the surface for so many of them, an anger I don’t see in the vast majority of the female students, or in older guys. Will they grow out of it maybe? Because I dread to think of these guys growing up, being in leadership positions, and still being the same way. This is not the way things should be.
It just frustrates and baffles me so much sometimes, and today is one of those days. And what’s the solution? (I know there is no good answer to this, I’m mostly just venting)
Yes, the Stepford Knife, I agree with you. I have failed to get dates before because the guy showed interest but I’m not socially able so didn’t know what to do next. I don’t blame the guy for this. It is odd but some of the stories there aren’t even sad because they have been reasonably successful.
Carley, I’ve heard it opined that this is a backlash; that the Rush Limbaugh’s of this world have been creating a space for spewing misogynistic drivel, and the reason it’s okay when he spews it is because it’s anti-feminist, and to a large number of people that makes it great. And when he spews it then it makes room for the guys to say it.
And that creates a space where this anger is acceptable to all these guys you meet to throw right out there for you to see.
Will they outgrow it? I don’t know. I know that I had to outgrow the misogyny I grew up steeped in, largely through this site and others like it. So I know they’re capable of it.
TBH, Stepford Knife, I am almost positive that list must be a Poe. Sure, we’ve seen some amazingly deluded shite from MRAs, but “curtsies whenever I walk into the room” – this reads more like someone sane mocking the exaggerated and offensive expectations MRAs have of women. Of course, I could be wrong, but that’s my gut feeling with this one… Then again, it would be such a good satire of MRA’s “standards” because, buried under rationalizations and with less on-the-nose wording, this is not that far from what they seem to demand.
Oh look, truthy is here to keep us company.
Protip for truthy: if you constantly talk about women like they’re possessions and get enraged that you have been denied one, you’re probably not a nice guy. You may, however, be a Nice Guy™.
And no, “involuntary celibacy” is not punishment enough, because it’s not a punishment.
aworldanonymous, if you are looking for an online community to fill the time created by the Reddit vacation, and this site doesn’t suffice/the subject matter here gets too depressing sometimes, may I recommend Captain Awkward? (Please ignore me if you already know of them/others have already recommended them.) Their commenter community is a bunch of lovely people who frequently refresh my faith in humanity, even though I am so far only a lurker there (never had anything to add to the discussion so far, but enjoy reading it).
I find it funny. Don’t they realize that the very reason that they don’t get dates is because of this drivel that they constantly spew?
On another note.. This guy I know had a mail order bride. She didnt speak much English, but even she knew something was wrong with him. I mean, he’s 40, and shares his bedroom with his brother. Worth a lol for me:D
Truthy: that would maybe be true if a.) icel were a thing, and b.) like Tulgey said, an actual punishment.
Ha ha, Truthy quotes me but then follows up with a non sequitur. At least, I wasn’t aware that saying that men should view women as human beings was “shaming.”
I am glad I don’t live in Truthy’s world.
Actually, my favorite comment in that redpill thread was (I am paraphrasing, because I am not going back there): “I know this really hot woman who is dating an engineer. Dude doesn’t even lift weights!”
That redpill thread – am I missing something? He never had a girlfriend until he asked a woman out. Duh! Wonder why that was!
Wait, wait! I know this one! Misandry?
Of course it’s really the fault of the government for not supplying him with a girlfriend ….
@titianblue, oh that guy. He’s got his own wordpress account, and it is just sad. I tried reading it, and got thoroughly depressed. Last I saw he actually had a date, fucked it up royally, and ran away because a couple of comments weren’t pitying enough. What is it with these guys?
I liked his conversation with Pierre, though.
http://pierre.thecomicseries.com/comics/11
LOL! Poor Pierre. He gets all the sad cases. But this is a keeper.
Here you go.
I think the nice guys finish last and bad boys get the girls pop culture myths have convinced a lot of young men that the worse they behave the more likely they are to get what they want.
When it doesn’t work they become angry and double down on the asshattery.
I have no idea what to say about these d00dz who think women should get the death penalty for everything they do.
My attempt to find the blog of government girlfriends dude ended in failure, but I did find what appears to be India’s answer to The Onion.
http://www.fakingnews.com/2011/09/iit-students-ask-government-to-provide-them-girlfriends/