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The Thinking Housewife: Women in combat means women using … BIRTH CONTROL! Eek!

No, seriously, this band is called Birth Control.
No, seriously, this band is called Birth Control.

Unsurprisingly, our old friend “The Thinking Housewife” is aghast at the notion of women serving in combat. What is a little surprising is why. In one of her many recent posts on the subject she offers this unique take on the subject:

There are so many unexamined consequences of the full integration of women into the military that one barely knows where to start, but one of the obvious places is with the fact that the Armed Forces will be increasingly in the business of population control.

Yes, that’s right: women in combat means women using birth control. The horror!

You see, women who are nine momths pregnant can’t exactly serve on the front lines. So that means the military is going to have to get in the business of helping its women soldiers avoid becoming pregnant.

In addition to providing rations and equipment, troops in combat will need ample supplies of contraceptives — and under this mentality, it will be the military’s responsibility to prevent pregnancy. Given that pregnancies can be, even in the best of circumstances, “unintended,” a woman who becomes pregnant on tour after her unit runs out of birth control pills or condoms will now have cause to blame the military for her offspring’s existence. We will almost certainly see women suing the Army for damages after “unintended” pregnancy. And as a consequence, the military will need to become more and more involved in the effective sterilization of their female troops.

Um, what? Sterilization? When women stop using birth control, they can become pregnant. Heck, they can become pregnant while still using birth control. Calling female birth control “sterilization” is a bit like calling a condom a vasectomy.

She ends her piece with this doozy:

As I said before, women don’t join the military as equals of men in order to defend their country. They join it to destroy their country.  An egalitarian military must embrace socially destructive ideals. What can be more emblematic of our times than a military unit equipped with guns to destroy the enemy and contraceptives to destroy future soldiers?  We have lost both the will to fight and the will to live.

Time to pull out the Don Draper “what?” gif again.

Actually, I don’t think that will be adequate to convey the sheer WTFery of that conclusion. I’m pulling out the big guns this time.

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The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I’m so sorry your friend’s going through that, eli! I was thinking of you saying “never ask me to do that again” in a half jocular way, I should have made it clearer. I wasn’t thinking of him having knowingly dumped you in it. He must have to listen to some heapings of shite from the new gakkkk minister too. If he’s that frothing about this sort of thing, I hate to think what it’ll be like for anyone who might have to turn to him for advice. He sounds like a tinfoil-hat wearer. 🙁

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

@eli: combat positions are anything other than missionary. 😉

eli
eli
8 years ago

@eli: combat positions are anything other than missionary. 😉

LOL

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Kiwi girl, you have an evil mind … I am now thinking of a certain former soldier and getting all hot’n’bothered. 😉

Monster
8 years ago

@Joanna, I once had a (non-ginger) guy tell me that he wished there was a breeding programme for gingers so we wouldn’t go extinct because oooh how sad his boner would be if there were no redheads. It is up there as one of the ickiest attempted pickups I have been subjected to so far D: Implying I should be on some kind of sex farm? Or…? Just argh.

As for the Thinking Housewife…she should stop, she isn’t very good at it.

Joanna
8 years ago

@Monster: There’s definitely a disturbing dystopian fiction in that… I had thought about writing a science fiction set in the future where evil scientist were trying to breed certain human traits because racial diversity was minimal…but the idea was just too creepy for me >.<

katz
8 years ago

I’m sure you’ve never heard anyone say that, say, left-handed people are going extinct, even though that’s also a recessive trait. The key would seem to be race-mixing paranoia: Keep those blonds in Scandinavia and those blacks in Africa or all our recessive genes will disappear.

Joanna
8 years ago

Not the recessive genes! They’re my favorite! =O

Monster
8 years ago

Yes, that is creepy. The fixation some people have on breeding humans gives me goosebumps. I’m going to bed soon. Hope I don’t have weird dystopian army/breeding/breeding army nightmares now. Urgh.

eli
eli
8 years ago

Katz,

I’d never heard that left-handedness was recessive. I read lots about it a long time ago and remember a lot of hand-waving about birth trauma and we don’t know and prisons and geniuses. I’d love to be brought up to date.

I write lefty, but throw righty. I’ve been teaching a young cousin the utility of learning how to use the righty scissors. If you’re going to learn one thing as a lefty, that’s the one you need.

Joanna
8 years ago

But what about ambidextrousness??? Is that recessive too? I’d consider it a kind of super power to be honest =D

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

Mind bleach, hopefully this can be seen by non-NZ ISPs:
http://www.nzonscreen.com/title/funny-business-excerpts-1988

I can’t work out how to fix it to clip 2, but that’s the one I’m pointing to – it won’t change in the URL. Also, apparently this is via Flash, so not sure how it will work on iPhones or similar.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

eli – do you know one can get left-handed scissors? I tried them years ago but was so used to using right-handed ones they felt all wrong. I write, draw and sew left-handed, but that’s about it. I think it could be as much mixed-use or cross-dominance for me (terms I only heard of recently).

Throwing a ball successfully doesn’t happen with either hand. 😛

eli
eli
8 years ago

The Mormon one, Kiwi girl? I love when they smash their bikes all together like a Scotty Pinwheel.

It’s so weird, because I’ve had Mormon’s knocking at my door and I like to toy with them.

But I’ve known Mormon’s past the age of knocking on doors and I’ve actually liked some of them.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

@eli, yep the mormon one. I figure that if kiwi’s can find US comedy like Arrested Development funny, then our humour probably translates overseas back the other way. NZ has had a lot of Aussie and UK comedy shows on tv here, so equivalence there is likewise assumed.

eli
eli
8 years ago

Sorry Kitteh, I only use righty scissors and they feel right. I learned really early. I was the kid in elementary school the teacher would single out and I said, “But, I don’t want the lefty scissors, I don’t know how to use them.”

I also draw and sew lefty. And pool, but I can switch to hustle you if money’s on the line.

eli
eli
8 years ago

Apostrophe fail in the mormon response *hangs head in shame*

Kartusch Snake (@Kartusch)

left handedness is complicated, hence how me an my left handed ex have all right handed children. One set of my grandparents had the same thing happpen.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
8 years ago

Hah! You should hear my kids carry on about the trauma of having a lefty mum and accidentally trying to use her lefty scissors! Take that right handed person! Cut a straight line in my shoes, or wev. It is the challenge of functioning in a right handed world that makes our brainz get more exercise and be brilliant!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL ambidextrous pool hustling!

We didn’t have left scissors in my day (assumes voice of ancient). I only encountered ’em in the 80s or so.Right-handed ones have always felt normal to me, too; I don’t think I’m exclusively left-handed by any means. It’s nice to know they’re available, though.

Kiwi girl – we owe NZ a debt of gratitude forever for John Clarke.:)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Cut a straight line in my shoes, or wev.

Not literally, I hope! 😀

Hey, isn’t your President left-handed?

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

@Kitteh, it’s fine, I figure Russell Crowe + Joh Bjelke-Peterson go some ways towards cancelling out the Aussie cultural appropriation. 🙂

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I doubt we’ll ever live Joh down, not least since he seems to be reincarnated in the person of Bob Katter (cringe … what IS it about Queensland politicians?)

Your email arrived! 🙂

shigekuni
shigekuni
8 years ago

Ha. I’ve been gone for a bit and it seems like discussions have become a bit quieter. Have the usual tools all been banned then? This is like the laidback discussions I used to have with my (now) ex-gf. Everyone is basically on the same side, pushing the conversation back and forth. It’s very nice. 🙂

To get back to the article at hand, I’m a bit confused by the jump in this sentence “We have lost both the will to fight and the will to live.” I get the first half, it’s a standard right wing way to frame discussions of the armed forces etc. But how do we get from there to instantly losing the will to live too? I find this very confusing.

eli
eli
8 years ago

@Joanna
But what about ambidextrousness??? Is that recessive too? I’d consider it a kind of super power to be honest =D

I’ve always thought it was sort of specialized. I spent six months with a cast on my left arm and learned how to write rather legibly with my right. Some consider me to be ambidextrous with my “I write with my left and throw with my right.” I don’t know what the parameters for pure ambidextrousness is. Can anyone here do everything with both hands equally well and with ease. I know I play keyboards, which is definitely using both hands equally. Typing too.

eli
eli
8 years ago

Is Obama a leftie? I never noticed! *shame*

I don’t think I’m that much younger than you, Kitteh’s. My experiences are from the 1970’s.

@shigekuni

I think it probably has something to do with birth control.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Sounds like we’re much of an age, eli! I started school about 1970. I bet our schools were a bit backward with that sort of thing. I’m not sure how long before that it was that kids were still being stopped from writing left-handed, but at least I never copped any of that nonsense.

Yeah, Obama’s a leftie, I just double checked! 🙂

shigekuni – some of the regular trolls like Pell and Mr Al were banned (though Al sockpuppeted under various names, mostly as Steele, for months). NWOslave disappeared after the US elections; Creative Writing Student guessed he’s probably sitting on a deckchair in front of the White House shouting at the President from afar. (I really like that image.) Not sure if Meller got banned or not. Boring Schitck got limited to three posts a day and gave up. None of the great trolls of yore still seem to hang around; there are drive-bys and seriously boring ones (see above with Cassie the Terminally Stupid) but they don’t have the great frothing rants in ’em like the old ones.

katz
8 years ago

But how do we get from there to instantly losing the will to live too?

I can’t be assed to look up if TTH is a Catholic, but Catholics actually do regard everyone who isn’t pro-life as part of a “death culture.” If you aren’t actively risking making new people at all times, that’s embracing death. I guess.

(Pecunium excepted, of course.)

eli
eli
8 years ago

Hey Kitteh’s, I was never stopped. Slightly younger. I had an older cousin, now deceased, who had the lefty drummed out of him. My parents said they tried a few times to switch the spoon, but I insisted so they gave up. I’ve been lurking lots and not contributing a lot, but how many manboozians are lefties? Totally OT, but heh, there you are.

eli
eli
8 years ago

I can’t be assed to look up if TTH is a Catholic, but Catholics actually do regard everyone who isn’t pro-life as part of a “death culture.” If you aren’t actively risking making new people at all times, that’s embracing death. I guess.

Yup. Katz is right, they do. And see evangelical christians as their allies.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

OT is on topic here! 😀

C’mon you lefties, wave those hands!

Every time I think of someone who was forced to write right-handed I’m reminded of what George VI went through with that, among other things. 🙁

eli
eli
8 years ago

Thanks, Kitteh,

I’m off to bed. My friend is not so happy. I offer you an old link from Echidne: http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7085/273/1600/Murphyinbed.jpg

I don’t know how this will post. He’s not doing so well. He’s just old. He has compression fractures in his upper vertebrae and he’s a lot grayer now than he was in this pic.

He’s 13+ right now. He has a lot of pain his neck. He wants to sleep in bed with me (even has an accordian case to get there) but he fidgets too much and I have to kick him out, because I need sleep too.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

What a lovely boy, eli! Poor lad – it’s horrible seeing them go through old age and all the crap that comes with it. 🙁

Neurite
Neurite
8 years ago

@katz, the funniest thing to me on that “blonde extinction” debunking on Snopes is how the 2002 article postulates that men prefer bottle blondes to natural blondes, the 1961 article confidently declares natural blondes “the kind gentlemen prefer most”, and the 1890 article states that men prefer brunettes. At least the 1865 article traces their take on male preference (blondes, apparently either natural or artificial) to an arbitrary edict from Parisian fashion houses.

Just goes to show how patently ridiculous these declarations about what “everyone” “naturally” considers beautiful really are.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Yes, you’d think fashion was not a thing at all, wouldn’t you? ::rolls eyes::

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Wasn’t red hair a fad, to dangerous levels, when Queen Elizabeth I reigned? I want to say the dye used to fake it was lead based or something equally dangerous.

Point here is that red hair was definitely a favorite for at least one time and place.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
8 years ago

@eli such a lovely boy. Hugs for you too.

Neurite
Neurite
8 years ago

Not a leftie (though dating one!), but the stories about the left-handed scissors remind me of my favorite leftie story.

I was out at summer camp with my conservationist youth group. The first night, as we get ready to make dinner in the kitchen tent, we realize that our camp cooking kit did not contain a vegetable peeler. All the campers dug through their personal stuff, and behold, one person had brought a peeler! That person being the only leftie in our camp. And he had brought a left-handed peeler.

So we all look at his peeler and tell him “huh, looks like veggie peeling duty will be your job for the rest of the two weeks.” And he replies: “Ooooh no. We will assign veggie peeling duty around just like we normally do, and I will pull up a chair and point and laugh while I watch as you, for once, have to fight your way through a job with tools that were not designed for you.”

…And he did. Which, we all had to admit, was only fair. (We righties all survived, with most of our fingers attached.)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Elizabeth was herself a natural redhead – witness this lovely pic of her aged 13 – and she wore wigs in later life. I don’t know what was used for red hair colour then, but there was lead aplenty in cosmetics generally. At one stage (possibly later than this, when brunette was in fashion rather than blonde/red) lead combs were used. Certainly during her time the red and white face paint was heavily lead based, which may iirc be partly why her teeth went black.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Neurite, love that story! 😀

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Kitteh — yeah I knew she was a natural redhead, and people tried to imitate it, what I can’t remember was wtf they used to dye their hair (cuz it wasn’t henna, that’d have been sensible, but probably not known in that place and time)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Ironically, at a guess, that painting is so red because of cadmium. Another one you don’t want to eat! (I paint with it, it’s expensive, but safe enough and an absolutely wonderful shade of red)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

That was a fairly reddish reproduction, I didn’t take the time to look for a better one. Her skin’s very pale and the dress a pinky-red in the original.

Blonde was a big fashion thing in the 16th century. I’ve seen an Italian engraving of a woman wearing a sort of crownless broad-brimmed hat to bleach her hair without getting her face burned – the hair’s pulled up through the crown and spread over the brim. Can’t see it working too well in England’s climate, though …

There was some sort of face paint used in the nineteenth century (they did use ’em, just pretended even harder than we do that the “natural” look isn’t achieved with makeup) that turned the cheeks from pink to black if you sat too near the fire. Can’t for the life of me remember what it was, alas!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Pink to black? Whatever it was it doesn’t sound like anything you should put on your face! That’d be the same time period as all the attempts to fake visible veins huh? (Veins = pale skin = rich enough to not have to be exposed to the sun, ever)

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

No, this was mid-nineteenth century; the painted veins were late in Elizabeth’s time and probably early in James I’s, when court dresses had really plunging necklines and the white lead paint went pretty well all the way down the breasts.

But yeah, totally not something that should have gone on the skin in either case. There was also some sort of waxy stuff used in the 19th century that stayed put as long as you kept your face still; try to show much expression and it’d crack, giving you that lovely dried-fresco look. 😛

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Why’d I think the veins were recent-ish? Whoops!

But hey, as silly as a human fresco would look, at least most wax is safe (guess it depends wtf is used to color it, but beeswax = completely safe…assuming you aren’t allergic to bees? o.O?)

WordSpinner
WordSpinner
8 years ago

(Biology student here): What you could do to make “blondes” much rarer than they are today is for random mating to take over–there would be the sample percentage of blonde alleles in the population, but since most of the world’s population doesn’t carry it, they would not meet up very often. Currently, people usually have children with someone of the same ethnicity, which means that alleles that are more common in one meet up more often than under true random mating.

But… umm… so what?

(Also: genetic diversity != diverse appearances. Africans as a whole are way more diverse genetically than everyone else because of the founder effect–basically, the whole rest of the world only got a sample of the diversity that existed in Africa at the time that humans emigrated out for the first time.)

Incidentally, that may be what have happened to the neanderthals–recent genetic evidence indicates that they interbred with humans considerably and over a wide geographic area, so one theory is that they didn’t go extinct, they just ceased to exist as a identifiable subspecies.There were just many more anatomically modern humans, and so that what humans today take after.

Also, I’m glad I don’t have lead in my face paint.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I read in (?) Scientific American recently that our genetic diversity might be miniscule anyway, at least in that we seem to come from one small group of African hominids who survived a huge drying-out of the continent during one of the Ice Ages.

Starla
Starla
8 years ago

I’m not trying to be narrow-minded, but I can’t believe this chick is a woman…is it possible to be fully matured and not have a damn clue how your own body works? I’m willing to bet, she’s either a v-card carrier or sterile, given her obvious ignorance of how birth control works.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Perfectly possible, Starla, sadly – and do us a favour, could you not call women “chicks”? It’s a real put-down.