An Orlando man, Faron Thompson, was recently charged with battery and child neglect after an altercation in which he allegedly tried to force his fiancée to swallow her engagement ring when she tried to leave him. (More details here.)
This sort of abuse is depressingly commonplace when women try to free themselves from abusive and controlling men; indeed, if I posted every news account along these lines on this blog I wouldn’t have time to do anything else.
No, I mention this case because something that Thompson reportedly told police reveals a lot about the mindset of abusers. When they arrested him, police say, Thompson complained that:
Women always claim assault, but never accept responsibility for provoking someone.
That is how abusers think.
It’s also how a lot of MRAs think.
Indeed, when I read Thomson’s reported remarks, the y immediately brought to mind something written not that long ago by Karen Straughan, the YouTube videoblogger who goes by the name of Girl Writes What. Straughan describes herself in her A Voice for Men bio as “the most popular and visible MRA in North America,” and given the rapturous reception her videos get on You Tube and on Reddit, this may not be an idle boast.
In the rather revealing Reddit comment I’m thinking of (which I blogged about earlier), Straughan suggested not only that abused women regularly “demand” the abuse they receive, but that many of them also get some sort of sexual charge from it. Oh, I’m sure she’ll deny that she really meant all that, but I can’t see any other way to read the following.
Oh, and in case you were wondering what article she’s referring to in the last paragraph — the one she says isn’t “seriously ethically questionable” — it’s a post from the repugnant Ferdinand Bardamu arguing that men should “terrorize” their partners because that’s the “the only thing that makes them behave better than chimps.” For more about that charming piece, titled “The Necessity of Domestic Violence,” see my post here.
I’m having less and less of a problem with calling the Men’s Rights movement “the abusers lobby.”
I’m sure there are some MRAs who are as repulsed by Straughan’s argument as I am. If you’re one of them, and want your movement, such as it is, to be remembered as something other than “the abusers lobby,” you need to call out all those MRAs who make such arguments. Might I suggest that you start by challenging the “the most popular and visible MRA in North America,” otherwise known as Girl Writes What?
Nothing says “brave advocate for a cause” like sneaking into dead threads and hoping that nobody will notice your cry for faux-justice.
He probably wants us to object to the idea that women are people, or the idea that men aren’t the centre of the universe, or the fact that they don’t get to literally own us in every society now. That’s the MRM’s entire complaint.
Truly great activism.
@The Kittehs’
He seems to think that he has some sort of gotcha, though. Judging from how brilliantly *cough* stated his post was, I’m actually not sure if he’s thought it out to that point.
Spoken like a d00d who has never read the comment threads of feminist blogs or FB pages! Ignorant? or lying? What do you reckon?
He’s clearly missed threads were we’ve disagreed with each other.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that we owed you anything. I don’t suppose the phrase “male entitlement” means anything to you?”
Being new to the manboobz comment board, I expect he thought that it worked like other comment boards…you know, people replying & responding to comments, stuff like that. That’s male privilege for you, now he hopefully is aware that no man is “owed” a reply nor “entitled” to a reply here…he’ll have to try other comment boards if he wants such things as “replies” to his comments & if he doesn’t get them, he’ll know it’s because, as a male, he is owed nothing & is entitled to nothing as far as internet comment boards go.
Let that be a lesson to you, you commenting man you.
Sic male, do you have a point?
Yes, we have a bad habit of never replying to men here. That’s why we never comment on David’s posts.
I think (Thus) Male just wants us to pay more attention to him. Okay, Male, I’m listening. Enlighten me with your great wisdom.
[rests chin in hands and gazes raptly]
It’s also why Pecunium, Shadow, Howard Bannister and other male poster are totes ignored when they post.
@(Sic) Male
Well I, as a feminist, will condemn your second paragraph as horrible. It doesn’t sound like it was written by a feminist, though.
Please, though, where on the internet can I go to be entitled to a response? Where someone else will be forced to provide one? You seem to imply that such a place exists. I have doubts.
Nobody ever answers pecunium either, it’s a wonder that his self-esteem can take the burden of commenting in this hive of misandry.
[gazes raptly with Cloudiah]
C’mon and tell us, oh manly one. Drop some knowledge.
Also, comment board? The 90s called and they want their lingo back.
Guys, the LAWS OF THE INTERNET apply. Any man who posts a comment on a blog is owed a respectful reply.
[goes back to gazing raptly, awaiting Male’s no doubt trenchant reply]
Respectful reply? Oh, shit. That’s where I’ve been fucking up.
This is me, staring raptly. I took a picture.
“Why do the trolls think they can sneak into old threads and not get noticed? Is it that vital to you fools to be able to smugly feel like you got the last word? Even knowing that you had to SNEAK IN to do it, ergo it’s not really valid?”
Ah, the “posting on an article that’s two days old” rebuttal. I got that one last time I “trolled” & “snuck in” here…though I only got one reply last time. Must’ve been a slow night for the manboobz regulars.
Poor David, he writes an article & it’s pronounced “dead” two days later by his fans. No doubt issues of abuse are less relevant to manbobz regulars than issuing their own abuse to readers, sorry “trolls”, of their site.
I suspect he has no point other than “hello i am troll pay attention to me”.
Says a proud member of the abuser’s lobby. The only issue you have with abuse is that it isn’t legal.
What? Plenty of us replied to him….with a vengeance.
These fellows must of been coddled as children.
“Mom? Dad? I thought you said I was the center of the universe.” *sniff/blubber*
By the way, no one else should look at that picture of my eye. It has hypnotic powers. Don’t tell Male.
Shiraz: they are such delicate things, aren’t they? Bust out the fainting couch and smelling salts, some dude is not having his dudely feelings gently buffered.
Shorter Sic Male – Wah! Why don’t the people here consider me the most important thing they’ve ever encountered? Wah!