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Spearheader: Put single moms in whorehouses so they can “pay their debts to society.”

Evil single mom neglecting her kids
Evil single mom neglecting her kids

I haven’t been keeping up with The Spearhead of late, but a commenter here drew my attention to the sort of timeless wisdom I’ve been missing from the Spearhead gang.

In this comment, DW3 offered his thoughts on how to combat the evils of single motherhood. The solution involves putting single moms in workhouses. To be more specific, in sex-workhouses — that is, whorehouses.

I think there should be whorehouses for single mothers to work at, to pay their debts to society. Such a system would kill several birds with one stone.

There would be safe and legal access to prostitution, presumably reducing the drugs and violence associated with the way the trade is currently practiced.

It would allow single mothers to learn the value of getting up and getting to work on time, so that they might aspire to a different career.

It would assist traditional families in steering their daughters and nieces and sisters in a different direction, with a very visible and well-known consequence to ignoring the families’ advice.

It would allow single mothers to give back for all the resources they consume, and ideally it could replace child support on some sort of sliding scale of pay for the workers. Perhaps starting at $50 paid per client, less $20 per child more than 1. That way, a single mother with 3 kids could still get $10, and more than that would be inclined to try to hide off the grid the way divorced and separated fathers now have to.

I have my own opinions about whether choice single mothers cause more harm than divorcees, but for this proposal I suppose that they should be treated differently. Divorced women would surrender their children to the father and have to pay half their whorehouse earnings to support the family, however they would get the full $50 regardless of the number of kids.

Perhaps the whorehouses could charge $80 for providing their services, with a modest 20% discount for married men who proved they had a family to support.

DW3 prefaced this comment with a line in which he notes that this idea might be a bit much even for the regular denizens of The Spearhead. But no one actually took issue with his proposals. Indeed, Lyn87 (a Spearhead regular I’ve written about before) noted that he’d had similar thoughts on the matter himself.

Since men are responsible to pay for the children that women they have sex with choose to bear (that is the stark legal reality – every child that is born is born due to the SOLE choice of the mother), then it stands to reason that:

Money paid to support a child = the obligation a man incurs by having sex with the mother.

Since having sex is enough to legally entitle a woman to a man’s money if a pregnancy ensues and she elects to give birth, shouldn’t taking a man’s money legally entitle him to have sex with the mother if he has not already done so?

Fair is fair, right?

My Modest Proposal: a single-mother-by-choice who takes public assistance should be required by law (as men’s financial obligations are), to have sex with any man who can produce a 1040 showing that he paid taxes in the past 12 months (at least once for each child).

The Spearhead: As reliably awful as stomach flu.

 

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Falconer
11 years ago

More for you, Kittehs!

We’re going to get at least a tenth of an inch of ice, maybe up to a quarter, tomorrow during the work day. Can I borrow a cuppa sunshine? They say the power might go out.

Kiwi girl
Kiwi girl
11 years ago

I can’t help with temperatures, but I can help with mood. Did you realise there’s a Puppy SuperBowl? http://www.thefrisky.com/photos/lets-meet-the-2013-puppy-bowl-ix-starting-lineup/

Soooooooooooooo cute.

princesssunnyburn
11 years ago

I’m sure Lovecraft is currently crying bitter tears in whatever elderich afterlife he’s gone to because people are now having a giggle over his writing on the internet.

Cthulhu's Intern
11 years ago

Have you ever read his letters? He put jokes in them all the time. Some of them even making fun of his own work, such as a bunch of jokes about how every Elder Gods’ name seems to be incomprehensible gibberish.
Seriously, for someone who’s such a fan, you don’t seem to know that much about him.

Cthulhu's Intern
11 years ago

On how to pronounce “Cthulhu:”
“The actual sound – as nearly as human organs could imitate it or human letters record it – may be taken as something like Khlul’-hloo, with the first syllable pronounced gutturally and very thickly.”

“The best approximation one can make is to grunt, bark, or cough the imperfectly formed syllables Cluh-Luh with the tip of the tongue firmly affixed to the roof of the mouth. That is, if one is a human being. Directions for other entities are naturally different.”

And that’s just scratching the surface of Lovecraft’s humor.

Kakanian
Kakanian
11 years ago

>Tom Martin of Finland)

I can’t be the only one who glossed over the “Martin” and asked himself/herself why Tom of Finland would give a toss about women’s sexual bargain power?

katz
11 years ago

Have I told you guys about my idea for an online TV service for eldritch abominations? It’s called Chthulu.

cloudiah
11 years ago

realmomjasper
11 years ago

Here comes an anecdote:

My father died when I was six, leaving my sister and I to the care of our single mother. These guys are fucking sick. (Not to suggest divorced moms or single motherhood by choice are less noble than widows)

Falconer
11 years ago

I listen to a podcast about Basic Dungeons & Dragons and one of the guys on there consistently calls him Tch-thulu, which just bugs me but that’s my problem.

Bagelsan
Bagelsan
11 years ago

Way to go guys, you’re supporting sex slavery and starving children.

Starving children is how you get more, younger, sex slaves. So that’s probably the plan.

katz
11 years ago

Cloudiah, I figured that one was safe because there was no way it would actually make you laugh.

wrt whether the OP is serious or not: I think it doesn’t matter. Either he really thinks it’s a good idea or he’s taking a piss by imagining putting women in sucky situations.

danielleparadis
11 years ago

Have we mentioned somewhere still going to need state daycare? All of the single moms I know have jobs. Stupid fucking asshole isn’t smart enough to mention “A Modest Proposal” he obviously doesn’t understand satire.

Serjeant Grumbles
Serjeant Grumbles
11 years ago

Really? Are you absolutely sure about that?

I don’t know if it’s ever a good idea to cite Star Wars in a serious discussion, but it’s doubly hilarious that people are so keen on that stupid and obviously self-contradictory quote.

I was perfectly aware of the irony of the statement. Can’t I be droll? I wasn’t wrong in pointing out that it was a false generalization. It would be like saying, “No woman becomes a prostitute because she wants to; they are all thralls to a drug addiction of some kind.”

katz
11 years ago

Can’t I be droll?

All signs point to “no.”

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

Wow, Serjeant. Way to quote-mine like a pro! Keep it up… Abe Lincoln doesn’t look bad yet! You’re slacking!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Grumbles, sweetie, learn to walk before you try the 100 meter hurdles.

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

Aww, Cassandra, don’t be so mean; remember those poor hungry alligators in the moat! He should hurdle it if he wants to.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Howard, why are you trying to poison the alligators? They may be scaly and terrifying but they still deserve healthier food than that.

kellydamian
11 years ago

Looks like someone has mommy issues!!

howardbann1ster
11 years ago

You’re absolutely right, of course. I just freak out when they stare at me.

With those dead eyes.

Hungry.

(shudder)

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

Have we mentioned somewhere still going to need state daycare? All of the single moms I know have jobs. Stupid fucking asshole isn’t smart enough to mention “A Modest Proposal” he obviously doesn’t understand satire.

In MRAland, kids sorta… raise themselves. Like baby turtles. And mummy sits on the sofa eating bonbons and occasionally telling the kids to get away from the Scented Fucking Candles.

This goes a long way to explaining why many of them are divorced.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

“Can’t I be droll?”

If you mean “May I not be droll” as in having permission … sure.

But as katz pointed out, if you mean “have you the ability” – the evidence is against it.

Serjeant Grumbles
Serjeant Grumbles
11 years ago

Wow, Serjeant. Way to quote-mine like a pro! Keep it up… Abe Lincoln doesn’t look bad yet! You’re slacking!

How am I quote mining? I’m not even panning for quotes.

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