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kitties off topic

Head-clearing Weekend

Sometimes I just can’t bring myself to look at MRA bullshit. I’ll be back tomorrow. In the meantime, kittens.

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damselindetech
8 years ago

I approve of this message.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I’m amazed you put up with as much of their crap as you do, David. But kitties are always good!

katz
8 years ago

So today was my weekend away, but there was a relative who said that some girl couldn’t have been raped because she’d gone up to a guy’s hotel room. Then he joked that my husband should poison Saudi Arabians.

I sometimes feel like “Can’t I just spend some IRL time in a group where nobody is a racist asshole? Not even a little bit of one?”

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

I approve this thread, and donate a baby hippo in its name — http://twitter.com/CuteEmergency/status/293198340127084545/photo/1

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

katz — ick, here’s an anti-oppressive baby animal just for you http://antioppressivebabyanimals.com/post/23488813911/image-description-a-baby-hairy-coo-with

katz
8 years ago

A hairy coo is a cow, I guess?

Because it sounds like a slang term for vulva.

It’s cute!

clairedammit
clairedammit
8 years ago

Kitties!!

I have news – my son moved out of the house this weekend, and we couldn’t be happier about it. He’s 20 and has just sort of been on extended summer vacation since he graduated from high school over 2 years ago – not motivated enough to do well in school, but not working full-time either. Being on his own is going to be good for him. He won’t be able to let us take care of every little thing, and he’ll figure out he’s capable of a lot more than he thinks he is. He and his girlfriend moved into an apartment with another couple just down the street. Let me just go all Texan on y’all for a moment to say YEEEE HAW!

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Aw, one of the kittens looks like the Biscuit! Who is growing like a dumpling-tummied (fat kitten bellies FTW) weed, by the way. So far he’s charmed all the older cats into playing with him, and Lil watches over him like a sheepdog.

My parents are in town and I’m off work this week, so I’ll be in and out.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

YEEE HAW, claire! What are you gonna do with all this fame, fortune, and extra room in the house?

clairedammit
clairedammit
8 years ago

Katz, that sucks. I never know what to say when someone is an asshole like that. You know you can’t change their mind, but if you’re quiet, everyone else thinks you agree.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

katz — simple answer is yes, complex answer is that they’re a type of cow — http://en.academic.ru/dic.nsf/enwiki/140705

clairedammit
clairedammit
8 years ago

We started cleaning his room before he had even moved out – OMFG, so much dust. HOUSTON, WE HAVE A GUESTROOM.

I’m mostly looking forward to not getting waked up at 1 am by someone making grilled cheese sandwiches and banging the microwave door.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“I’m mostly looking forward to not getting waked up at 1 am by someone making grilled cheese sandwiches and banging the microwave door.”

Congrats, just watch out for ending up long term unemployed and moving back in (hopefully he’ll have better luck than me!) and/or lthanks for that bit of advice, I’ll make my midnight snack now before it’s silly late!

clairedammit
clairedammit
8 years ago

He’s welcome to come back home if he absolutely has to, but I think he’ll be fine. It’s cheap to live here and he has some skills.

But, yeah, go get your snack soon! 😀

katz
8 years ago

Yay for filial independence!

Kim
Kim
8 years ago

I sometimes feel like “Can’t I just spend some IRL time in a group where nobody is a racist asshole? Not even a little bit of one?”

Yes, at the first manboobz meetup. There’s going to be one, right?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

katz – argh, sympathies. Makes you wish you could divorce relatives, or at least disown ’em, doesn’t it?

clairedammit – yay for the room! Hope sondammit does well in his independent life.

hellkell – piccies of Biscuit the Big! We need more piccies!

bengalcatmum
bengalcatmum
8 years ago

Such cute kittens and that is very pretty poofy big cat. Today we think we discovered my Bengal’s true kitty name. Mum called him a name-that-is-not-his-that-implied-he-was-a-brat and he answered to it. Then he disappeared to the mother ship to report that he’s been discovered.

I’ve always postulated that cats are from another planet and they are here to take over the world. They kinda did…we do feed them and they’re the ones not having to work for it.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
8 years ago

…and I’m a Mormon.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Attack of the kitteh! Iz dead of cute …

bengalcatmum – he’s been sprung! It is no coincidence that Cat and Brat rhyme.

Xanthë
8 years ago

I have Biscuit (actually Chocolate Chip Biscuit in full) on my lap, he is occasionally paying attention to the match between Serena Williams and Maria Kirilenko but his programme of washing himself is taking priority. We have two Devon Rex kittehs; Biscuit’s sister, (Blue) Cheese, is on Emma’s lap.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

So, there is Feline Paralysis in your household!

Don’t know if you saw my comment on the other thread, but I cacked myself about “does that sexdoll belong to a Geelong supporter”.

Xanthë
8 years ago

Well, navy blue and white horizontal stripes! Glad someone appreciated that one. But seriously, that picture has been creeping me out so the brain cleansing kitteh thread is much appreciated.

Feline paralysis, partially averted, as Biscuit has decamped to his hammock.

Yes, our cats’ play equipment has a hammock. They are sooooo spoiled. =^..^=

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

Any chance that Jason from the recent Dr Phil episode about slut shaming is an MRA?

http://www.drphil.com/shows/show/1957/

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

Oh, nvm, I googled him pretty easily. Time to plow through this nonsense.

http://intentious.com/2012/03/18/the-nobility-in-slut-shaming/

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
8 years ago

Since this is an OT thread, remember I mentioned the awesome belated Xmas present from BoyFantastic a couple of weeks ago? It arrived today 😀

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
8 years ago

@Jessay, I could only read like the first line of that. That dude is creepy.

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

It’s really funny reading his smug, self-satisfied blog post and comments knowing how bad he cowered in fear when confronted with the oh so intimidating Laci Green haha. Trisha something (another youtube personality) called him a coward because he’d call her a slut from behind a computer screen but not to her face and he had nothing to say. This is exactly how I imagine all MRAs to act when confronted IRL.

And yeah, he’s a HUGE MRA. I immediately thought he must be when watching the episode on tv but at the end of the post he’s linking to A Voice For Men and Girl Writes What videos. This guy is really sad and disgusting.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
8 years ago

I didn’t see the programme, just the blog, but yeah people like that are never so confident when not behind a computer screen. I couldn’t stomach his writing, when people are as fractally wrong as all than and still write with that achingly smug tone, it makes me want to throw up.

Jessay (@jessay)
8 years ago

For anyone who is interested in seeing how pathetic this dude was on tv

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

So.. since there’s probably no such thing as OT in this thread, and since the Biblicall fall comes up now and again for discussion on this board: I’m just reading some papers of Christine Korsgaard for a lecture I’m gonna hold on Friday, and she discusses Immanuel Kant’s “Conjectures on the Beginnings of Human History”. (Haven’t read that paper by Kant myself, so I’m just taking this from Korsgaard). In that paper, Kant discusses Genesis. Now he didn’t take Genesis literally – he was a Christian, but a big believer in science, and merely annoyed by the fact that at his time, there were no proper scientific theory of how the various species came about. So the following should be read in a more allegorical way:

Genesis says this about Eve’s decision to take the forbidden fruit: “When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate”. Kant’s idea was that this represents the birth of rational thinking. Eve sees various REASONS for taking the fruit, and that’s what rational thinking is all about; one does things for reasons, rather than just acting on instinct. But a rationally thinking creature lacks the innocence other creatures has – we necessarily divide actions into right and wrong and things into good and bad, since we must do so in order to make reason-based decisions. Kant also thinks there’s something tragic about a rational creature which is still far from perfect; a creature that recognises things as being good and bad and still does the bad from time to time. And that’s why the birth of (imperfect) rational thinking is also a fall.

I just thought that maybe you’d find this take on the fall interesting.

Starla
Starla
8 years ago

@ jessay
Not sure if this is a female independence issue, a sexism issue, or an Internet safety issue.

It’s true that you shouldn’t judge people at first glance, but the world is not full of decent people who are courteous to others. I’m not saying that anyone deserves to be cyber bullied, but I do think that young girls should be more aware that when they post things online, they are posting them for everyone to see, and not everyone is going to agree with you 100%. People on the Internet can be so easily agitated nowadays it’s ridiculous. There was a woman on Facebook that posted a picture of her daughter who had cancer with the caption 1 like, 1 prayer. The amount of hate this woman got for “exploiting her daughter” was ABSURD. That being said, I think slut-shaming could be cut back quite a bit if girls were educated more about the Internet.

As for the guy in the vid, never have I seen a bigger public display of douchebaggery. He was very hesitant to talk about his views in front of women and that yet again raised an age-old question I’ve had since arriving at manboobz…do MRAs talk about their extreme views outside the Internet? I think a lot of this mans ignorance stems from him living in a world where women are highly sexualized and men are not. I mean skimpily clad women are used in advertising all the time, and as decorations (think game shows,sporting events, wrestling etc). Whereas there is no such pressure on men, so he see’s the flaunting of the female sexuality as a problem that is only posed by promiscuous women rather than as a result of the imposed “beauty” ideals imposed on women on a day to say basis.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

I’m not saying that anyone deserves to be cyber bullied, but I do think that young girls should be more aware that when they post things online, they are posting them for everyone to see, and not everyone is going to agree with you 100%.

Agree with them about what? About their insistence on maintaining ownership of their own bodies, rather than handing it over to the nearest Moral Guardian?

That being said, I think slut-shaming could be cut back quite a bit if girls were educated more about the Internet.

No.

Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

@Jessay

I read some of the article. The point where I gave up in total disgust was where he said that slutwalks and related phenomena are putting the responsibility for women’s safety on men.

Because correct me if I’m wrong…did he just say that MEN HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY NOT TO RAPE WOMEN?

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago
Starla
Starla
8 years ago

@viscaria
I fail to see how my comment upset you so much, I didn’t say they had to be fully clothes when posting online or that they should let someone tell them how to dress. I was saying they should be more mindful of who can see the pictures, who could save them and post them somewhere else, etc. I don’t think it’s immoral to post sexy pictures, but it is dangerous to post them where a wide variety of total strangers can pass judgement on you and say hurtful things.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

Okay, made it from bus to office. I will explain my “no.”

Slut shaming happens because of the common belief that girls and women 1) having bodies, and 2) making decisions about their bodies are both punishable offenses. If we tey train teenagers and young women to be “good women,” slut shaming won’t stop. It will just be directed at those girls who don’t do as good a job pretending. Or, if everyone behaves like they’re “supposed” to, slut shaming will become about something else. Slutty hairstyles. Slutty ankles. It’s the attitude of the bullies that is the problem, not that the victims are too attractive as targets.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat, I’m sorry. You were being very victim-blamey in my opinion, but I overreacted.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

“That being said, I think slut-shaming could be cut back quite a bit if girls were educated more about the Internet.”

How old are we talking here? Because slut-shaming = No. But Internet safety? Kids really need prev spotting radar, and to know how much info is too much info. Of course “do not share your address” and “don’t post pictures on open forums” are kind of a ways away from slut-shaming.

Basic point — don’t give the bullies and pervs enough info that you can’t just walk away when they get too upsetting/skeevy/whatever. But me and my insomnia are about to turn into an Internet safety PSA. So g’night guys!

Also, those pervs can all go get swabbed with Legos.

Dvärghundspossen — *strokes chin as if stroking a beard* interesting

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

One last note — seeing how pervs are, you know, pervs, focusing the Internet safety shtick on girls is fucked up to a dangerous degree.

Starla
Starla
8 years ago

@viscaria
If it were as simple as eliminating all bullying I would agree with you 100%. I agree with you that it is a serious problem but like you said, if it wasn’t risqué photos it would be something else. People will always find ways to judge others, if not for one thing than for another. Changing the attitude would be great but until we find a way, but there’s no reason these women should have to endure online harassment because of it. It’s not keeping women’s bodies off the web, it’s about protecting yourself from assholes.

leftwingfox
8 years ago

I made it to the second paragraph of that. “It’s anti-free speech because it’s a protest in response to something someone said”. I’m hearing this a lot lately and it’s pissing me off.

Criticizing speech IS free speech you moron!

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

@Starla, I apologize again for my morning grumpiness. I guess what I’m trying to say is, we can’t protect everybody. We can just redirect the bullying towards different young women.

Starla
Starla
8 years ago

@viscaria
I know, it’s horrible and sad that people are terrorized this way. Maybe instead if teaching teens to act in a more uniform way we should work on teaching acceptance and higher self esteem so that when it happens it’s not as detrimental? Maybe couple that with increased Internet protection?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Viscaria already said most of what I would have said, but just to add on a bit – another problem with the idea that if you just take precautions then the slut shaming will be directed at a different target is that sometimes even that doesn’t work. I was occasionally called a slut by other girls when I was still a virgin and had never even kissed a boy, just because I had big boobs at a young age (this is a thing that happens a lot to girls who develop early). When girls do all the things they’ve been told to do to protect themselves and people give them shit anyway, it leaves them feeling like they must have done SOMETHING wrong, which really isn’t helpful at all. It also creates a culture where we automatically look for what the girl/woman did wrong, rather than talking about the person who did something to her and why they did that.

Starla
Starla
8 years ago

@cassandrasays
Youre right, there should definitely be more education on bullies and how to deal with them also. I would love to find a way to stop it altogether but what you said us exactly what makes the issue so damn tricky, WHY do they do it…ugh this is getting dangerously close to an anti-bullying tirade…

Historophilia
Historophilia
8 years ago

I should also add to this debate the fact that women and girls are constantly bombarded with the message that they need to be sexy and attractive to be worth something.

Young teenage girls in particular are very vulnerable to these messages as they are still figuring out who they are, who they want to be and coming to terms with the new bodies that puberty is thrusting upon them.

They are constantly surrounded with pictures of celebrities and models etc. in bikinis or skimpy clothes being portrayed as sexy and desirable and worthwhile so who can blame them if they take the message that this is what they have to do to be considered attractive and worthwhile?

Half the time the “sexy” or “provocative” pictures etc. that teenage girls post on facebook or whatever are showing far less skin than the average Calvin Klein advert.

How are teenage girls supposed to react when they see the boys they like, their classmates and friends drooling over Victoria’s Secret models? Isn’t it totally rational to think “If I want these boys to like me and if i want to be validated in their eyes shouldn’t I behave like these women?”.

And then they stick a picture of themselves in a bikini on facebook and they get attacked and called a slut, a whore and all that shitty jazz, just because they behaved in the way they thought they had to behave in order to be liked and validated?

So I don’t think we should vilify 15 year old girls for putting some pictures on facebook and call them “stupid”, everyone is stupid at 15, that’s part of the problem, remember when you’re still young you don’t have the life experience or the brain development needed to fully be aware of the consequences of your actions or to be able to fully analyse and weigh up the pros and cons of the things you do.

Educating young women and girls about online safety, of course yes, a hundred times yes. But shouldn’t we also teach all young people about not bullying? About not slut-shaming? That the value of women and girls lies not just in her body and sexual attractiveness but that those who choose to show it off are not any less people or deserving of respect?

Shouldn’t we be attacking a media and a society that portrays such a narrow standard of beauty as the ideal, one that objectifies women and constantly uses the female body and female sexual desirability as a marketing tool?

Shouldn’t we be examining the messages that these young girls are being bashed around the head with day in and day out and work towards countering them?

That should be what we are doing, not shaming children and vilifying them. There is so much hate towards teenage girls in society, this particular form of slut shaming is just feeding into that.

Perhaps I’m touchy about this because I’m not very long out my teenage years myself and I had to go through all this shit myself, though I was slightly sheltered as I didn’t get facebook or spend much time on the internet until 15/16.

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

Yeah, what everyone said above. Plus, Internet stalking and the kind of shit that gets spewed follow similar rules.

I get trolled every once in a while, because… well, I’m multi on the Internet. Still, I get trolled much less than I expected. The only time anyone ever tried to really fuck me up, it was a former very close friend who was spewing intimate details about my life on a bash comm. And asking me NOT to make friends on the Internet would’ve socially crippled us through college. (Being multi on the Internet can be rough, but it’s NOTHING compared to being multi off it.)

So for me, all those lectures on safety wouldn’t have done jack. I mean, this was someone who was my WEDDING GUEST. I couldn’t have predicted that within six months, we’d have such a massive falling out and they’d do that. The only way I could’ve avoided it was to never know them in the first place.

I know there’s no way to track it, but I’m curious how many jerkasses on the internet personally know the person they’re hurting, and how many truly are the anonymous trolls who don’t know or care.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Yeah, agreed. The tendency to blame girls and women for doing what their culture has told them will make people think well of them, and then mock them for being upset when what they get instead is abuse, really irks me. Obviously this is particularly ridiculous when we’re talking about teenagers, who don’t have their full cognitive faculties yet.

It also bothers me when girls or women are described as being stupid for doing something that’s clearly influenced by culture, as if that somehow means that we should care less about what happens to those girls/women. If we genuinely think that someone is stupid enough to be easily taken advantage of shouldn’t we be more rather than less protective of them because of that?

(I’m also less patient than usual with this kind of blame the victim stuff, having just seen someone on a feminist blog describe women who get labiaplasty as “rich dim ditzes. You’d think you could at least rely on people who identify as feminists to avoid victim-blaming and gendered insults, but apparently not.)

LBT
LBT
8 years ago

RE: CassandraSays

It says something that when folks say labiaplasty, I immediately think for trans folk and go, “Well, of course they might get that.”

And, in keeping with animal videos, the Spider Who Couldn’t Hide! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLw-9dpHtcU

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