Oh dear. Our friends the Men’s Rights Redditors have discovered Mr.Ian Ironwood’s little treatise on sexbots. While some are a bit skeptical about the reality of the (non-existent) Human-Robot Personal Relationship Act — more skeptical, anyway, than Ironwood or Vox Day before him — this doesn’t stop the regulars from offering all sorts of distressing and/or hilarious opinions on the subject.
For example, OuiCrudites suggests that women have made sexbots inevitable by generally being such a pain in the ass, and MaunaLoona compares female sexuality to the railroad monopolies of the 19th century:
In a later comment, OuiC elaborates on his “most women are shitty” thesis:
MaunaLoona, meanwhile, agrees with Ironwood that developing the AI for sexbots won’t be a big challenge, because the average American woman is dumb and has a terrible personality.
A Canadian Redditor steps in to point out that the alleged “legislation” isn’t real. Oh, and to suggest that many “females” can’t think rationally.
Geigerwasright concludes that men will find sexbots preferable to women because the women of today aren’t providing them with “love, loyalty [or] kindness.”
So watch out, ladies! Unless you clean up your act, and quick, the good men of the Men’s Rights subreddit will abandon you en masse in favor of sex with inanimate objects that pretend to like them.
And this is apparently supposed to be a bad thing for women.
Clauderoughly postulates that sexbots for women will never be that popular, because what women really want is to get pregnant, so they can live the good life off of child support:
That’s a bit weird, as all the women I’ve had sex with have seemed quite interested not getting pregnant from sex. Indeed, some have had devices inserted into their bodies by doctors to prevent such an occurence.
The world that MRAs live in is a strange and scary place. I prefer the real world. It’s much cheerier.
NOTE: The horrible picture at the top of this post was borrowed from Craftastrophe.
He’s fine to set you some “homework”, or to ask about whether you’ve tried any of the suggestions that came up in counselling. But if you find that he’s straying into no-go (and also, quite possibly, completely irrelevant) areas you have a number of options. The most minor is to tell him to stop, the most major is to stop seeing him and lay a complaint with his governing practice body.
Straying into no-go areas (that aren’t directly related to counselling objectives) is a red flag to me. It suggests that the psychologist isn’t respecting boundaries, and has ethical issues associated with it. I also wonder how tone-deaf psychologists can possibly be any good.
Mild discomfort directly associated with a problem area that is appropriately addressed inside the counselling is different. But if you’re feeling discomfort in every session, especially if it prolonged, I would question the therapeutic effectiveness. The purpose of counselling is not to make people feel uncomfortable or distressed, but to, you know, help them. 🙂
It certainly hasn’t been general discomfort – far from it, it was just that one thing in one session. I’m more than happy to talk about Louis (as you all know, heheh) but psych needs to understand that does not include talking as if he’s not real. Hell, if it comes to knowing stuff about someone, I can give a lot more information about his childhood than my own; I remember jack shit about stuff from when I was a kid and don’t know a hell of a lot about my parents … or care, for that matter.
But knowing that yes, I get to say what’s acceptable and what isn’t, is the main thing. He should be able to cope with that … he has a cat, after all, he should be used to being bossed about. 😉
Kitteh’s: yes to what others have said. You set the tone, and if you aren’t comfortable with a psych, you can fire him. I did with one, and it was the best thing I ever did. Trust your gut.
I should preface that I’m not a counsellor. Now that I’ve said that, I recommend that you ask the psychologist what will go into any report they write and who will get that report (I assume your GP because you mentioned them earlier).
You want to be very careful with anything that gets put into a report, in particular if it goes on your medical file: diagnoses, symptoms. This has issues relating to medical and workplace coverage, as well as the whole “the person is treated as though they are the label” syndrome.
Kinda seems like your psych thinks he can “help” by pushing your boundaries until you realize that he was Right All Along. You shouldn’t have to put up with that, not ever! He’s supposed to be there to help you meet your goals, not to change you into who he thinks you should be. 🙂
Thank you, everyone! That’s given me some
ammunitioninformation to take along next week.I’ve been thinking of firing my own psych ever since she told me (in so many words) that I probably wouldn’t be experiencing sexual harassment at work if I didn’t dress so sluttastically.
WHAT????????????
… I don’t even …
Since kitteh’s question seems to have become The Topic, any advice how to tell my psychs (yep, plural) that y’all and my not-in-CT friends are all the socializing I either want or can handle without turning into a nervous wreck?
Apparently socializing will help my depression, and no online doesn’t count, it needs to be face-to-face because of verbal and non-verbal cues. That I Do. Not. Do. Well. With. People. is lost on them. Just kind of shrugged at like “oh that’s interesting, but you still have to socialize”
Y’all don’t count! That part alone pisses me off enough!
And no, this isn’t just a case of “too old to understand the Internet” (nothing personal to the older [than me] people here!) — my meds!psych is an intern, and doesn’t look much older than me.
Yeah lol. Anyway the important thing is it’s okay to walk away from a therapist if you don’t see them working out! It’s also okay to talk to them to clarify boundaries, sometimes that’s all it takes.
My yeah was for Kittehs, I didn’t see what you had said yet, Argenti. That sounds really frustrating 🙁 🙁
Viscaria — that’s straight up Completely Unacceptable. Kitteh’s psych could at least attempt to justify it as “having to discuss patient seeing things no one else sees” (more or less the definition of psychosis, ‘cept yeah, neither disturbing kitteh, nor potentially harmful to others, and not relevant = Drop It)
There’s nothing like an excuse for that shit.
And sorry kitteh, please take that as my psych student view, not personal view (French king with that beard? Hot, but I’ll refrain from hitting on your husband, that’d be rude!)
@Viscaria, that is just so many degrees of wrong.
@Argenti: you could get your psychs to talk about what they mean by “socialize”. Do they mean discuss topics to X depth, discuss Y range of topics, interact with Z varieties of people, what? I think that maybe if you can pin them down to a definition of “socialise”, and make sure it is one you are comfortable with, that could help. Their advice seems weird. For example, with a spider phobia, the psychs wouldn’t go immediately to making you put your hand in a tank of tarantulas. Which sounds kind of like the equivalent they’re asking you to do with their idea of “socialisation”.
The other thing too, fuck anyone who says that people need face to face interaction with loads of people. I socialise with people at work, then come home and be in the computer. When I was in a shitty situation at work (bullying) I used to come home and kill things in World of Warcraft. A guy I knew did the same, but he used a first person shooter. And hell, we’re the normal ones. 🙂
I keep debating trying to figure out wtf my insurance would cover, but that requires calling people and oh yeah, I. Do. Not. Do. Well. With. People.
I liked my original psych, but she was a temp because my actual psych was on maternity leave. Actual psych straight up asked (after noting that her boss diagnosed me with PTSD) if “the sexual assaults, were those rape?” And then if I’d reported either…one of those non-committal “mm hmm” and then Not A Word about it.
*grumble* I’ve got a pretty good sense of when I’m being ignored, and worse, not believed, and she gives every damned sign of it. (This is why I don’t do social situations, I take those “can we finish this topic, I need the bathroom” type “hurry up” cues as personal “I’m sick of listening to you”)
They seem to mean “in person with non-family and not friends of family members” — my mother and I do the errands for two women who lived down the hall from my grandmother before she died, that doesn’t count. My brother’s best friend doesn’t count. My relatives don’t count.
But the EA concert is “that’s good” — like I’m going to discuss more than my top hat and, oh yeah, my mother’s going!
They seem to mean strangers, and not the standard cashier type strangers, which is way outside my comfort zone. But would somehow make me less depressed.
I don’t begin to get how this is supposed to work, but besides med side effects, and how well I’m tolerating my father’s assholery, it seems like all they want to talk about.
With the possible exception of counseling that’s court-mandated as a result of a criminal case I’m not seeing any reason why the therapist would need to report anything to a 3rd party. That’s so sketchy that I’d recommend finding a new therapist, honestly, because this one is all “doctor/patient privilege, what’s that?”.
Yeah, kitteh, unless your GP is involved by your consent, or at least regarding meds with your notification, that’s real sketchy.
Sorry all, that should be “normal” like that in my last post.
@Argenti, can you do the query through email? Having to talk to someone about insurance is sooooooooo 20th century. 🙂
Your situation doesn’t seem to be the best though. Is she going to the bathroom/exiting the room while she’s in session with you?
@Argenti – no need for apologies, I get what you mean about the “no one else sees” stuff – the irony being that half a dozen people I can think of have seen him – and two of them were strangers, never spoken to ’em before, they knew nothing about me, and they described him, so yah boo sucks to the naysayers. 😛
Oh and you win an internet for “(French king with that beard? Hot, but I’ll refrain from hitting on your husband, that’d be rude!)” – all I can say to that is, get in the queue! If Mr turned up in earthly flesh he’d need bodyguards to save him from my friends, I swear.
Now what your psychs are saying is fucking moronic. I don’t know how I’d get it through to them, either. I’m betting you’ve already said the obvious things about how this interaction IS satisfying and does have the benefits without the drawbacks of face-to-face socialisation. Holy shit, I don’t have the problems with face to face but all my socialisation outside work is via the net, and it gives a damn sight more satisfaction than trying to find something in my outer-suburban-desert could.
I am now getting a Cranky Not Quite Senior moment of wanting to give intern wunderkind (who looks about twelve, amirite?) a clip over the ear ‘ole for being a know-it-all little brat.
“Talk to random strangers and your depression will clear right up” is some of the most… weird-ass advice I’ve ever heard.
The GP in my case was the person I saw for the referral, and he prescribed my (very mild) antidepressants. On the Medicare scheme that pays for most of this, the psych does have to report to the GP as to whether the full ten sessions will be done. Thing is, I don’t want anything more to do with that GP, I didn’t like him one bit from the one time I met him. Not sketchy, I just didn’t warm to him at all, unlike all the other doctors in the clinic.
And yeah, that talking to strangers – wtf? What do they want you to do, get arrested for being the weird person who buttonholes strangers? Since when is pestering strangers a sign of mental health? This intern has a bad case of Get Back To Kindy going on.
That, or she’s trying to do some sort of PUA stuff … get out there and neg! It’s good for you! :/
@Viscaria, yeah weird.
@Kitteh, I assume from what you’ve said, you’re in a medical centre for GP health care, which assigns you to the next free GP because the patient notes are all shared. In that case, you should be able to request not-him for your next appointment. I had an issue with a GP about (holy shit) 15 years ago when I had a UTI and I was using a medical centre that did “assignment of whoever’s on”. The fuckwit up and walked out of the room *twice* while I was in the appointment, no warning, just got up and walked out of the room. He also did a looooooooooooong and involved explanation of “needing to wipe better” even after I told him I had a paramedical qualification. This was also *after* I explained to him that I tend to get UTIs when under stress, and that I hadn’t had one for at least 4 years. He also never looked me in the face for the whole appointment. My then (abusive, with PhD in psychology LOL) partner said he probably treated me that way because I was acting like a drug addict. I pointed out to ex that drug addicts didn’t tend to go to the doctor begging for *antibiotics*.
I’ve also had the situation of two counsellors (psychologist and counsellor) ganging up on me and wearing sunglasses (indoors) for the whole hour. And a student psychologist tell me I was wrong about suffering from bereavement overload after my father got diagnosed with terminal cancer and at that point in my life I had lost a relative or friend every 6 months (on average) for 3 years, including two suicides that I found out about on the same day.
So, I feel for you all. Life sucks and sometimes the “experts” do too.
Internet hugs and kittens for everyone. And first person shooters if they need them.
Fuck, should have added that the GP pissed me off enough that I complained to the medical centre, who said “oh, you’re the only person to have complained, everyone else says he’s lovely.” That, or the others he treated that way were too damn scared to say anything – that’s the funny thing about power/privilege.
Yikes! That’s some nasty shit, Kiwi girl. Only time I’ve had a really rotten doctor experience was twenty-plus years ago, with one who insisted on doing a pap smear before she’d prescribe the Pill. I didn’t know then that you don’t have to have the damned thing, or that I had the right to refuse it and still be prescribed. Had to stop her because it was so painful, and her reaction? “I didn’t think any woman in this country would be a virgin at your age.”