Lady feminists! I have some terrible, terrible news for you from pickup artiste Heartiste, the would-be God Emperor of Poon. Apparently he and his pals have been having sex with you all.
Heartiste lets us all in on this little secret in a post earlier this month titled âLots Of Feminists Are Getting Banged Out By PUAs.â He explains that those dudes who âscavenge snatchâ in upscale white neighborhoods in big American cities â what Heartiste in an attempt at humor likes to call Stuff White People Like Land (or SWPL-Land) â will by definition score with some of you feminist ladies.
This is because most girls in the big blue population sinks of SWPL-Land are feminists of one stripe or another. You canât swing an Emperor Deluxe condom without hitting a feminist in the cooch if you live or operate within these zones of misandry.
Heartiste helpfully spells out for his readers some of the different kinds of feminists to be found in these misandry zones.
The first, the most extreme exponents of radical feminism are what one of his readers calls the âJizzabel-type feminazi,â or what Heartiste himself calls âthe femcunts.â
Yes, thatâs right. Apparently the most radical of all feminist publications, the SCUM Manifesto for our internet era, is Jezebel.
Heartiste explains:
These are your Jizzebomb fanatics, the devotees of feminism as a life-affirming ideology. They are the smallest in number, but the loudest in bitchery and kookery. This is the kind of manjawed girl â typically a lawyer, academic, organic farmer or diversity consultant â who reads and comments daily at sites like Feministing and Slate/Salon/SuckMyClit with furrowed brow, regurgitating what she learns therein at parties and in the middle of dates, exposing a vile expectation that all the world should agree with where her retarded logic takes her.
Uh, Iâm familiar with Feministing, and Slate and Salon, but Iâm afraid I donât have any idea about this mysterious âSuckMyClitâ site heâs referring to. (There isnât even a site up by that name, though enterprising publishers will be happy to learn that the domain name is for sale.)
Heartiste continues:
As long as you donât embroil yourself in her occasional tantrums at invisible enemies, and keep the pick-up light and breezy while steering her in different conversational directions whenever you sniff the approach of another feminist tirade carried along by the id winds, you will get the bang. She is, underneath her femcuntery, still a woman, and as such (however much you may need reminding) she will respond viscerally to ancient cues of your mate worthiness, and her vagina will flower in spectacular opposition to the wilting of her mind.
Heartiste is an even worse writer of erotic fiction than E.L. James.
Oh, and hereâs another little bit of shitthatneverhappened.txt. (TW for crude rape reference.)
You donât want to stay with women like these beyond a few hate smashes, so for shits and giggles I suggest you regale her in the morning with your support of the Second Amendment and the ludicrousness of the equal pay myth. For bonus soul-shivving points, casually muse aloud, after you have sprayed her mug and sheâs inserted her glazed face into your armpit nook, that 1 in 5 women who are being raped will orgasm during the act.
Yes, thatâs right. Heartiste is publicly posting his fantasies about Jezebel-reading radical feminists rubbing semen (his own) into his armpits with their faces.
Next in Heartisteâs imaginary classification scheme come The Partisans.
These are the girls who occasionally read feminist blogs (usually when a fat femcunt friend passes along a link) and parrot the benumbing Cathedral crap they hear on TV and read in approved MSM papers. But these soapbox episodes are blessedly infrequent and pass unremarked, unless they manage to corral some dipshit manboob into acting as a sounding board for their cockamamy nonsense on white male privilege and socially constructed beauty standards (Hugs Shyster, Scrotumless Scalzi, Iâm looking at you two distilled estrogen pools.)
Hey, a shoutout! Thanks, pal!
And finally, The Lemmings:
MOST women in the cities will have spent the better part of their sexually adventurous single girl years steeped in the platitudes of feminism, and they will know nothing else. Combined with womenâs natural aversion to abstract thinking beyond immediate, selfish concerns, what you wind up with is a population of lickspittle lemmings who mindlessly nod in agreement every time a talking head exploiting this deficiency in the mental circuitry of half the voting public sonorously intones something about âequal pay for equal workâ, or âwar on womenâ. The Lemmings, by far the largest group of women you will likely encounter unless you live in South Dakota, include all types of girls, from club sluts to self-important HR robots to daddyâs princesses to deliriously frantic scenesters. Luckily for your sanity, these girls do not take feminism seriously ⌠.
In the end, Heartiste tells his readers that â90% of your cityâs women are feminist in name if not in execution.â
So theyâre feminists, even though theyâre not really feminists. Gotcha. With such an expansive definition, itâs no wonder Heartiste is convinced that a significant portion of the women he âbangs outâ â whether in the real world or in his fevered imagination â are feminists of some sort.
He concludes:
Most hardcore feminists, whether or not they know it, are fucking men who either pretend to give a shit about their precious ideology, or donât even bother with the pretense of pretending to give a shit about it. In fact, the majority of men, and an even bigger majority of players, are like me: they find feminism absurd on its face and will dismissively change the subject anytime the girls they are seeing make the mistake of veering into feminist bromide territory. Most girls are sensible and will know when their feminist retardation is turning off the men they like, and will quickly fall in line with the change of subject.
There are exceptions. A few supercharged feminists will eventually wind up with sycophantic manboobs for lovers, and a more perfect pairing I couldnât imagine.
Aw. Another shoutout. Itâs almost as if he has some sort of he-man heterosexual man crush on me.
PUA works wonderfully in a certain club scene in NYC, DC, and LA, where everyone is trying to be a badass and being as dismissive as possible of any validation they might acquire from the scene, their entourage, or potential hook-ups. Once you have a common sociolect where banking social capital is the prerequisite to scoring, everything flows. Also, most PUA gurus of the 2nd generation (Mystery, etc.) were quite conventionally attractive men, so that complex interplay yielded results quite quickly, long before burnout. I don’t think many of them had to do the “1000 approaches before success” that they recommend as an initiation.
“The Brunocracy” seems to be the non-whiny, not-getting-laid non-sex-blog for the discerning complainer. Heartiste drives me mad with the nihilism, the dabbling in anti-Semitism, the blog wars with Lady Raine. DC PUAs have always pushed a worldview rather than tips and tricks, it’s either something in the water or the city’s position as a factory of ideologies. I’m thinking Althusser, this is a form of interpellation, not social skills per se.
Shut up Eurosabra.
Cassandra, how did you find out this person was a Gorean? How fascinating.
Oh great, the fascist blog herpes is back. Why can’t someone develop an effective medication to clear that up?
@ cloudiah
He spoke like a Gor novel, as if he was repeating dialogue that he’d memorized, and then when I started arguing with him he made his allegiance more explicit. There are little clusters of Goreans attached to some kink scenes, or at least there were back when I was a more active participant.
I guess if nothing else at least their outfits are funny.
@cloudiah — I can’t speak for Cassandra, but I find that when a majority of male D-types feel safe to talk about kink at all, they are usually pretty open about sharing their fantasies, activities, and philosophies, up to and including showing off their play style (regardless of whether it is a play space).
Adding on to inurashii’s comment – also regardless of whether the woman they’re talking to has already told them that she’s not interested, not submissive, and not appreciating the TMI.
*disillusioned hi5 w/Cassandra*
Fun times!
Goodness, my skepticism that any of their sexual encounters happen outside of their heads is affirmed yet again.
Given who’s governing Gaza right now, I find any griping about my representing an Israeli political tendency which is NOT going to reach power anytime soon a little rich. I’m more of a 19th-century liberal and any actual political program of mine would meet the Israeli Supreme Court’s current test of non-discrimination for electoral eligibility.
Jabotinsky’s great failing was that he died early, giving people the chance to discard him without reading his works. His 2nd greatest failing was having people like Menachem Begin and Ben-Zion Netanyahu attempt to implement his program. Israel has never had a constitutional, Liberal Right because it has always been hating on De Gaulle.
@Eurosabra: no1 curr
Dude, nobody cares.
Didn’t he say, in so many words, that he’s a facist? So how is he not facist blog herpes?
bleh, the fetish scene. Yet another notch on my “Why I’m Not A Joiner” wall.
There’s also the fact they don’t realise that “shit you say to your mates” and “shit you say to people you just met and you want them to like you” rarely overlap…
I wonder if we could develop a simple code for identifying precisely what type of person [name] is for the different types of troll. Your Eurosabras are rather different to your Rubies, after all – as evidenced by actually posting more than once in a thread – and that can be confusing to the uninitiated.
I think the issue here is that Heartiste has a very different view of what it means for a woman to go on a feminist tirade than most people do.
I mean, I go on them from time to time, in my small circle of friends/immediate family who know and love me and mostly agree with me (though not always – see also, sister who always feels the need to talk about how she’s not feminist AT ALL, but still believes some core feminist stuff like, hey, women should be able to work outside the house if they want to, and like vote and stuff) but I don’t just do it in front of a bunch of strangers or people I barely know and especially not at a party or club with a lot of strangers/people I barely know. Partly because even though feminism is near and dear to my heart, a lot of other things are too and I like to talk about them all, and sometimes if I’m trying to just enjoy myself, I don’t talk at all and just let others talk. But mostly because I know my opinions aren’t the norm and especially if I’m just trying to relax and have fun, I do NOT want to start a debate with half the people at my table. It’s exhausting enough sometimes just reading the shitstained comments on yet another article about yet another politician coming up with yet another anti-woman scheme, I don’t feel the need to bring that upon myself in meatspace.
I’m imagining that for Heartiste a feminist tirade is a woman having an opinion about anything at all. That’s the only possible way he can have met so many women he thinks are feminists who go off on feminist tirades in clubs or at other laid back social events. I mean, hell, I don’t think I even witnessed a single tirade in my sociology of gender class – in retrospect, I kind of wonder if our professor ever got frustrated at how NOT angry most of us were.
“Greetings, female. Can I fuck you in the ass and come on your face this evening?”
“No. By the way, who the hell are you?”
“Cease your feminist tirade immediately!”
Or, alternative scenario:
“Nice press-on nails. Care to buy me a drink?”
“No, thanks.” [goes back to chatting with friends]
“Feminist bitch.”
“Nice boobs, how much did you pay for them?”
(Raised eyebrows) “Excuse me?”
“Fucking feminists, always ranting at innocent men about their lickspittle agenda.”
PUAs are a cargo-cultism. Their thinking is really no different from other magical thinking.
For example they base the entire scam on trying as many women as possible. The gurus recommend guys to “train” their “skills” in public places, at clubs, everywhere on as many different women as possible. This is supposed to build up their skills but what it really does is build a smoke screen.
I can only assume these PUAs are not in fact familiar with the rational and logical thinking they advertise so much, else they would be familiar with probability. The PUAs often boast hitting on 10 or much more women until they “score”, and then think the score is due to their pick up skills. Alas, maths disagrees. It’s of course not possible to calculate an exact probability, how many times do you have to try until you get sonething right, in terms of dating because people are unpredictable. But in general, you can assume that if you hit on a lot of people one of them will be interested if you’re not completely antisocial and repulsive on the first glance. Just like you will get two 6’s if you throw dice enough times. It’s pretty basic level knowledge.
But people are pattern-seeking and pattern-loving animals. Ours brains look for patterns everywhere, especially when encouraged to do so. I study all sort of pseudomedicine as a hobby and I see the same effect there all the time. Random and/or probable events are attributed to whatever magic cure the patient believes in. An illness normally has a predictable cycle of development, from the initial symptoms to eventual healing. Many will be cured by our immune systems alone without any intervention having any effect on the illness (such as the common cold). But many people do all sort of ritualistic things, from vitamins to garlic in socks and attribute any perceived improvement to their cure of choice, even though the disease would have improved all the same without the intervention. Large epidemiological studies prove that there is no cause-and-effect between the “cure” and getting better, it’s all probability, good chance and natural curve of development of the illness. But good timing, or even lack of it, can make a person perceive a pattern that does not exist.
The same applies to PUAs. They repeat the dice roll (hitting on individual women) often enough and get two 6’s (get laid). Then they attribute the chance result to their belief that the women had sex with them because of their pick-up skills, because accepting the truth of a chance occurence would damage their insecure egos. Just the same as a cancer patient that got cured after surgery and chemo will attribute their cure not to the medicine and surgery but to the prayer they recited daily (if religious) or to the herbal remedy they took (if believer in herbal medicine), despite evidence saying otherwise. If the person has invested a huge amount of personal energy, time, money etc into a belief, enough to make the belief a large part of their personality and their very self, they will fight with all their capacity against contradicting evidence. Their core persona is being threatened, and their mind will try to protect itself from any damage. This is a proven phenomenon that occurs in a lot of contexts (one great study examined attitudes to capital punishment and gun laws and how people reacted when shown evidence contradicting their beliefs; they thought the contradicting evidence flawed and actually strenghtned their original position; i recall from other studies that being aware
of this phenomenon regarding irrational beliefs makes it less prominent, so one can learn to control it) so you can look it up.
All the evidence points to PUA gurus being nothing but age-old hucksters and scammers, peddling their special variant of snake oil to the susceptible: the young, insecure, narcissistic men who don’t have the means to get what they feel entitled to. The PUA message is like opium to these men, evangelised by men they aspire to be: well-groomed, dressed in expensive clothing and bragging about their jetsetting lives shagging young women. Deep down these guys must know it’s too good to be true, but giving up on the dream they invested in is too threatening. It’s like gambling in the hopes of making a fortune; a handful of lucky players might just make it but everyone knows the chances are abysmal. Yet it’s so tempting, because people don’t understand how probability works.
There, I’ve rationally debunked your pick up “artistry” (I’m leaving the parts concerning women and their reactions for another time). With my illogical ladybrain, too. I’m so glad my SO, despite obviously having a disadvantaged guybrain, does not have whatever faults they might be that cause the PUA syndrome. Because that syndrome makes one incapable of rational thinking.
@ostara321 Or he’s saying really offensive or horrible things that would make a lot of people angry.
I mean, I never go on tirades in such settings (not related to gender, at least. I’ve gotten into a few religion-related arguments before) and like I said earlier, they are always the ones who bring it up. I try to steer the conversation in another direction if they say something I don’t like, but if someone says something really awful (like boasting about how they got away with rape) I usually can’t keep quiet. I have several very religious friends who consider themselves anti-feminists, and I know for a fact they (both the male and the female ones) would be shocked at these statements. I wonder if for Heartiste (can’t get over that name) anyone who is not as misogynist as he is is automatically a feminist (or a ‘liberal’, or whatever other dismissive term).
[woman accidentally bumps into him in crowded club]
“Whoa, if you wanted to meet me, you could just say Hi.”
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to bump into you.”
“Is your vagina opening like a flower now, while your brain is wilting in ecstasy?”
“Um, I’m pretty sure my vagina just wilted, actually.”
“WHY DON’T YOU GO HOME TO YOUR CATS, YOU HAIRY-LEGGED WANNABE LESBIAN HAG!!!”
cloudiah – I’m seeing her flashing her legs at him like Kate Beaton’s Straw Feminists now, just to frighten him away! đ
cloudiah & CassandraSays, LOL! I’m pretty sure that’s exactly how it goes. Any woman who doesn’t throw herself at Heartiste’s feet after two seconds of his negging is obvs a radfem.