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creepy douchebaggery men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA PUA sexual harassment

Pickup Artistry, Victorian Style

(Click on image for a larger version.)
(Click on image for a larger version.)

I ran across this remarkable painting, titled “The Irritating Gentleman,” on Sheltered and Safe From Sorrow, a blog devoted to Victorian mourning rituals and other creepiness from that period. The gentleman in question seems to be a Victorian era Pickup Artist in action. He’s even peacocking, Mystery style, with that bow tie and stupid hat and even a non-ironic handlebar moustache. Probably the only thing keeping him from wearing aviator goggles is the fact that airplanes haven’t yet been invented.

What makes it all the worse is that the PUA’s target is clearly in mourning. As the blogger behind rawr I’m a tumblr notes:

She’s wearing all black in 1874. Black gloves, hat, cloak, and dress. In public. The whole nine yards. That’s not a fashion choice or a gothic thing. Back then when people wore all black like that, they were in mourning for someone who died. No one did mourning like the Victorians, that shit was an art form to them.

Someone in her family has died—she could even be a young widow. No one’s accompanying her either. With the carpet bag? She’s traveling alone while still in deep mourning. Look at the closeup. She’s got tears in her eyes. She is upset, devastated in a way that one is only when someone has died. And the guy’s still bothering her, like her problems are flippant bullshit and she needs to just smile or pay attention to him because ladies are supposed to be pleasing for men no matter what shit they’re going through. That’s not a look of “what an ass.” That’s a look of devastation that even in her pain, she’s expected to give people like him focus. She’s not mad. She’s hurt. And to add insult to injury? Everyone would be able to tell. It was a clear sign and still is in ways that someone is mourning, to dress in black crepe like that. He would know why she’s wearing all black, and he’s still demanding her attention.

What an insufferable dick.

Yep.

 

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The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

It adds to the stupidity of Joe’s comment to know that Woltze was criticising the man’s behaviour in the first place. Sure, different perspectives, but nevertheless – it’s the man who’s at fault.

I guess that makes Berthold Woltze a raging misandrist.

Stuffed Fantod – those would be cool conversations to listen to! I have shelves of books on Victorian history, painting and fashion, from getting hugely interested in the period about twenty years back (all sprang from wanting to make clothes for this little person). Enthusiastic amateur, me! 🙂

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

The tartan “blanket” looks more like an overcoat draped over the back of the seat to me – which’d probably be another example of Mr Nouveau Riche’s faux pas, probably. There was definitely a big Scottish romantic trend at around that sort of time – we get most of the “Noble Highlander” stuff and clan tartans and Scotch whisky slowly changing from cheap firewater to sophisticated artisanal stuff from that.

Alternatively it could present the rude gentleman as Scottish, and that’s part of why he’s so uncouth? I detect a slight note of “this dude has no breeding” classism to this whole thing.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

lowquacks – I don’t know if I’d equate the guy in that essay with the NiceGuy(TM). The latter are all about treating women as sex vending machines. This bloke … well, his story had me thinking more that this is what women are always expected to be like: nice, accommodating, putting everyone else’s needs ahead of theirs. It didn’t really seem a gendered thing, except that it was his and his father’s workplace experiences that were the main focus.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

I USED FOUR FRENCH WORDS IN A ROW I R SO SMART

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

@kittehs

That’s a really interesting take! It’s definitely a very gentle form of “[people] only like assholes, so I’ll become an asshole” but far more subtle in that and good-humoured than I remembered. I think I first read it after being linked to it in a very Nice Guy reddit comment and the whole thing was tainted by that in my mind.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Gakk! Some Redditurds got their hands on that? Flaming typical.

Yeah, definitely the “people only like assholes” is in there, but I read it as the narrator, if he’s reliable (whether fictional or not) having some genuine stuff to complain about, which NG(TM)s definitely don’t.

It almost comes down to “Dammit, I have boundaries and I’m going to start enforcing them.”

Stuffed Fantod
11 years ago

@lowquacks: That tartan is probably a lap blanket that doesn’t need to be used, because it’s warm enough outside that the woman’s window is down.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

I do not think she is of an age to marry since her hair is down. I have a suspicion that her traveling companion only left for a moment and the pua swooped in to display his dominance.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

I just took another look in the full screen pic and there’s a fringe along the top edge of that plaid – so yeah, a blanket or shawl. Men wore shawls for travelling, but of course it might not be Roissy Senior’s anyway.

Gods, yes, that tie is vulgar plus! 😀

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

It looks almost like a four-in-hand tied in some fancy way into a bowtie, which’d play into the “what a cad, in the bad way, this dude is” thing the painter might’ve been going for.

It’s a look I associate for some reason with Duran Duran, though I can’t find any pictures of them with their ties tied like that.

boxofcrates
boxofcrates
11 years ago

Speak for yourself first joe. I think the art history discussion is fascinating. Why should the fact that it’s old make it not worth looking at the meaning? It’s not like this kind of thing has stopped happening in the century+ that’s gone in between.

I thought at first that the older man at the edge of the painting was looking at the situation from the side, but now I look closer and he’s looking the other way. Ah well.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Joe’s a bit stupid, isn’t he? The painting, on the other hand, is very good. The girl’s facial expression in particular is perfect.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Yes, Woltze has caught her grief and vulnerability perfectly.

How’s your kitty, Cassandra? Any change?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Also, since Joe is a Brit – hey, Joe, what do you think about the investigation into Jimmy Savile and child abuse? Any fascinating thoughts to share about that?

(For David – Jimmy Savile was a British DJ and TV presenter. He appears to have sexually abused several hundred children during his career. The fact that he had pedo tendencies was widely known at the time in media circles, and nobody did anything to stop him, including his bosses at the BBC. Since this has hit the news the British papers are full of MRA-ish ranting in the comments on articles about how terribly unfair it is to Savile that there was an investigation after his death and the press is covering it. I dunno if any major MRAs have written about this yet, but probably worth keeping your eye on.)

Fed Up With the M-sphere
Fed Up With the M-sphere
11 years ago

Interesting. I remember reading on Roosh’s and Roissy’s and other blogs about how American women walk down the street with scowls on their faces or blank looks or otherwise not “welcoming smiles” for these men. As if its women’s social contract duty to smile at complete strangers 24/7.

I though, most people are going through something in their life; a parent just diagnosed with cancer, a recently dead grandparent, a divorce, a child who is being bullied in school, a sibling who got denied his/her dream job, a depressing break up, a fight with a significant other or close friend, a friend who’s being abused, an ill pet, etc, etc, etc, any myriad of things that can cause us to not be beaming sun rays and rainbows as we walk down the street.

Why does the self esteem of these men rest on the looks strangers have on their faces as they pass them for a split second in the street?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

@ Kittehs

She definitely peed a bit overnight but is still making frequent frustrating trips to the box. Other than that she seems fine – eating well, wants to play, etc. I have some painkillers to give her to ease the discomfort so I’m just keeping an eye on her boxes to make sure she is able to pee a bit and isn’t blocked. Vet says it will probably resolve itself in about a week, but if things don’t get better I need to take her in again.

(She’s terrified of the vet so hopefully that won’t be necessary.)

MorkaisChosen
MorkaisChosen
11 years ago

Re: Saville: I think it would have been better if this had broken while he was alive. This is a rather different sentiment to thinking it’s unfair to do it now…

Podkayne
11 years ago

What’s the brown object she’s holding? It seems separate from her handkerchief.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Oh, no doubt it would have been better if it had been possible to put the old perv on trial. That doesn’t mean that we should just pretend the whole thing didn’t happen lest we speak ill of the dead.

This is an example of the kind of comments that are pissing me off.

People do lie, they do make things up and when there is the prospect of getting your name and picture in the media and possibly cash then some will be tempted to lie.

Yep, that’s definitely a thing that many people would want, to have their name and picture in the paper as a victim of child abuse. No victim blaming going on there!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

There’s been a fair bit of coverage here about Saville; fortunately none that I’ve seen has tried to defend him in any way. It looks like he preyed on the terminally ill and the mentally ill as well, from what I’ve skimmed. Was there anyone vulnerable that he didn’t prey on?

I was wondering how long it’d be before the MRM and their ilk got all outraged about how poooor Jimmy was being so badly treated. After all, this lot think India is some sort of feminist paradise, so it’s not surprising they’d defend this ghastly man. What’s the bet Tom Martin thinks he was wronged?

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

@Podkayne

Looks like a purse.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Podkayne – I think it’s a purse. If you blow the pic up you can see a gold edge, perhaps a hinge, on it. There were some seriously gorgeous purses and handbags made around that time. /end fashion derail

Cassandra, that sounds like good news overall, then!

Article in The Age today mentioned that Saville’s family put up a huge headstone for him with every bit of praise imaginable … but when all these things came out, they had it smashed up and ground into landfill.

Podkayne
11 years ago

@lowquacks Then in my mind I’m going to be imagining her socking him with it, because that is a better scenario in my mind than in all my years of awkward train rides.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I haven’t seen any articles trying to excuse or defend Savile in the media, it’s the comments on articles that are the problem. This one is a good example.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jan/11/jimmy-savile-report-turning-point?INTCMP=ILCNETTXT3487

For Savile’s family I do have some compassion, since most of them seemed to have no idea what was going on. Taking down the gravestones was the right thing to do. His mother, on the other hand, seems to have known, which…well, we’re back to people sometimes being monsters again there.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

Fashion derail – this is my absolute favourite handbag. It’s from 1889 and I can never get over how modern it looks.

http://collections.vam.ac.uk/item/O75551/handbag-unknown/