I ran across this remarkable painting, titled “The Irritating Gentleman,” on Sheltered and Safe From Sorrow, a blog devoted to Victorian mourning rituals and other creepiness from that period. The gentleman in question seems to be a Victorian era Pickup Artist in action. He’s even peacocking, Mystery style, with that bow tie and stupid hat and even a non-ironic handlebar moustache. Probably the only thing keeping him from wearing aviator goggles is the fact that airplanes haven’t yet been invented.
What makes it all the worse is that the PUA’s target is clearly in mourning. As the blogger behind rawr I’m a tumblr notes:
She’s wearing all black in 1874. Black gloves, hat, cloak, and dress. In public. The whole nine yards. That’s not a fashion choice or a gothic thing. Back then when people wore all black like that, they were in mourning for someone who died. No one did mourning like the Victorians, that shit was an art form to them.
Someone in her family has died—she could even be a young widow. No one’s accompanying her either. With the carpet bag? She’s traveling alone while still in deep mourning. Look at the closeup. She’s got tears in her eyes. She is upset, devastated in a way that one is only when someone has died. And the guy’s still bothering her, like her problems are flippant bullshit and she needs to just smile or pay attention to him because ladies are supposed to be pleasing for men no matter what shit they’re going through. That’s not a look of “what an ass.” That’s a look of devastation that even in her pain, she’s expected to give people like him focus. She’s not mad. She’s hurt. And to add insult to injury? Everyone would be able to tell. It was a clear sign and still is in ways that someone is mourning, to dress in black crepe like that. He would know why she’s wearing all black, and he’s still demanding her attention.
What an insufferable dick.
Yep.
Lumi–I don’t know what to say, except that I think you can grieve now. I grieved for my Grandmother over years–she had Alzheimers–though it still hit me like a hammer when she finally passed.
Pecunium–I was actually this was something different from bacterial recombination and involved actual gametes (for one thing, I know it was about eukaryotes–they talked about having mitochondria, which prokaryotes like bacteria don’t have).
According this, it looks like what I was probably remembering about were slime molds, which are simple eukaryotes:
http://www.vectorsite.net/taevo_10.html
(Scroll down a while)
Looks like some fungi do the same thing:
http://ryviewpoint.blogspot.com/2010/08/species-with-10000-sexes.html
I guess they are called “mating types” and not “sexes” but they amount to the same thing, though the gametes generally look the same across mating types.
Bacteria are even weirder, since they don’t do sexual reproduction like we do where we combine gametes, they just swap genes and start using the new DNA themselves.
“Human [males] are naturally attracted to human females when they are showing their softer side, especially when they are crying (as someone once observed, a womym’s tears are her secret weapon) It’s not always neccessarily predatory, as oftentimes the male has the instinctive urge to chivalrously console and comfort and even cuddle the female, to whom he feels kindly predisposed. It’s what the Japanese call “moe”.”
I *knew* it! That blonde chick just let her hair down and dressed in black to lure the Nice Guy into a cuddle. And the minute she has him in a compromising position, she’ll pull the communication cord and shame him in front of the whole train! The conniving little bitch…
But I thought “moe” was Japanese for “bowl cut”??
“I think Spain had the crown.”
I did say I only play one on the internet ; ) For some reason I never think of Spain during that time, for no good reason at all….
“This doesn’t look like shapeless black wool robes to me.”
Omg, that is hilarious!! Earthsea was one of my favorite books, and I just turned the Spawn onto them; but I didn’t have my old copies and the cover on our new one was awful. But that takes the cake. It’s like the artist never read the book, but called up their sister because her kid read it and told her about it a couple of years ago and that’s what she remembered the Tombs of Atuan being about.
Oh, lumi, I am so sorry : ( And here I am blathering on while I catch up : / Feelings don’t come when they are appropriate. Of course you’re feeling the loss to come; don’t worry about that part, just try to focus on enjoying the time that’s left. We never know how long that’s gonna be for any of us, anyways.
Yes, it’s definitely a good idea to focus on the good times that you have now, but you will be grieving at the same time. My family watched my father decline over three years or so and we grieved the whole time; the advantage of that, though, was that I felt ready for him to go when he did die. It felt like the right time and a relief, frankly. My advice, as someone who’s done a bit of research on the psychology of death, is to let your friend guide you. If he wants to talk about it, gather up your courage and talk to him honestly; don’t try to pretend that the prognosis isn’t as bad as it is, because then you’ll be leaving him to face it alone. If he just wants to relax and have fun with you, then have fun. Show him that he doesn’t have to put on a brave face with you, because there are probably many people he knows that will want him to do that. Try not to hang on too hard when he’s ready to go.
All the best to you, lumi. Many hugs to you from across the internet.
I woke myself up to say And also lobbing the puppy hugs back to Shadow for your gran.
Ach, my brain.
Anyway, we’re mostly all about to/in the process of/mourning losing someone, and we mostly all need PUPPY AND KITTY HUGS. Default: Give people PUPPY AND KITTY HUGS. Even trolls, and even when it hurts.
Errrr, I think I have the flu. So pardon my stupid. Not being able to breathe through my nose makes me dummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmb
Also, everything sthlivingincolor said. Much less stupid than what I said. Plus more hugs.
Lumi, best wishes for you and your friend.
Seconding what cloudiah said about what sthlivingcolor said. And the [insert name of your favourite animal here] hugs.
Aw Lumi. Hugs from over here too.
I agree with most people here, especially “Yes, it’s definitely a good idea to focus on the good times that you have now, but you will be grieving at the same time.” It’s healthy.
I hope for many good times before you lose A. 🙁
It was feminists who invented the words womyn and womon in the first place.
Go go gadget dealing-with-ABNOY!
“I use males and females because men and women would be an ill-fit to refer to adolescents no, especially since it’s your sode that usually tries to deny adult agency to them?”
You have heard the words girls and boys? Or at least include “adolescents”, eg “male adolescents” — males is no more obviously not of label age than men is.
And I just don’t even know wtf you’re on about with adult agency? Are you seriously arguing against the concept of legal majority!?
“Oh and I’m shocked that none of you have apparently heard of pity sex and grief sex, eh?”
…how is this relevant to anything?
“It was feminists who invented the words womyn and womon in the first place.”
But why did you use womyn? MRAs and their ilk only seem to use it to mock feminists, so wtf’s the relevance of who coined the terms?
Not to mention that few if any feminists would use the term now – radfems, maybe? – I know I’ve never seen it on any feminist website or any feminist writing.
Perhaps Abnoy’s time machine is as crappy as his ideas.
Radfems seem to still use it sometimes — I have seen it used seriously, but um…that was a decade ago (idk if maybe it’s an age thing though? That was also that end of high school period)
Fuck, I graduated 10 years ago…at least no one seems to be planning a reunion…
I think we should start referring to Abnoy as a myn, rather than a man, in recognition of his robotic nature.
(His creators clearly tried to equip him to pass the Turing test, but so far it’s a no-go.)
He really does sound like a half way decency written bot sometimes. I’m truly curious wtf pity sex has to do with anything though!
Now I’m thinking “myn” and hearing Henry Crun from the Goons – “Min! Min! Minnieeeeee!”
Pity sex and alternative spellings of woman are alike in that they are things that he thinks will wind us up. Boring troll is boring.
“I’m truly curious wtf pity sex has to do with anything though!”
Um … Abnoy thinks it’s a real pity he’s not a sex bot?
Yeah see, pity sex does manage to irk me, but only because rapist ex #1 demanded I perform such while too drunk to stand (hint people, if someone is puking already, they can’t perform a blowjob, can’t consent either, but think about the mechanics of this!)
“Um … Abnoy thinks it’s a real pity he’s not a sex bot?”
No no, a real pity he can’t own one. He’s practicing his bot-speak for when he can.
Even if we’re going to assume that the person in question is such an asshole that they don’t care about consent I’m still not sure why they’d think that was a smart idea.
That’s awful, Argenti, I am so sorry you went through that (and two rapists) … too horrible.
Would Abnoy actually bother talking to his sex bot? Can’t imagine it. And she’d probably yawn and fall asleep if he did.
I have wonderful notions of all these sexbots proving totally uncooperative with all the creeps of the MRM who fancy getting them. And being really STRONG because robots.
Actually now that you mention it I’m amazed that he hasn’t figured out a way to shoehorn Chobits into the conversation yet.