Fellas! Better hold on to yourselves, because I’ve got some terrible news for you.
Actually, you’d better NOT hold on to yourselves. Because this is the news, straight from that always 100% reliable news source, the Men’s Rights subreddit:
I wonder if manginal orgasms are still allowed?
Incels? pro-ana? Thinspiration?
Can someone get me caught up on what these are, because they sound pretty scary.
Do yourself a favor and don’t google thinspiration.
“True, but there’s got to be a point where the advice is obvious enough that the asshole it’s coming from makes the whole thing moot.”
Definitively, I agree. Just because something is a fallacy doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant.
If John Boehner came out today and said that everyone needs to join together and make things better for the American people, that’s great advice, but I’d still tell him to STFU.
“don’t google thinspiration.”
noted. It’s in my mental ungooglable list, along with Sonic the hedgehog and every anime ever.
@CassandraSays
I don’t know if the harm outweighs the benefits, though. When I was at my worst, I was cutting myself every day, starving myself or hinging and purging, and contemplating suicide all the time. Seeing that other people were dealing with the same things and were able to hide how fucked up things were for them, gave me hope enough to not kill myself and, as screwed up as it is, the disordered eating gave me something to live for. I wouldn’t deny that to anyone. (I got more comfort from reading about other cutters than the pro-ana communities, but I could easily see that going the other way.)
I’ve never seen statistics, but am inclined to agree with Cassandra here. Years upon years ago I was a mod over here — http://buslist.org/phpBB/ — and they have very strict rules about both trigger warning and anything that might be encouraging dangerous behavior. That’s where I learned about trigger warnings actually. Pro-ana communities seem like they’re getting the community part completely wrong, it isn’t sympathy that you’re in pain, but encouraging you to take harmful measures to “deal with” that (scare quotes because there isn’t any actual dealing with it going on). Versus “what could you do instead?” type advice.
(Idk how good the community is at BUS anymore, but the games sub-board has always been a decent source of distraction…and I’d be remiss not to mention that I was a founding mod of random weirdness and they’re…well…about as on topic as here 🙂 )
Well, I guess you could google it, just not as an image search unless you enjoy upsetting yourself.
If pro-ana communities had been around when I was a teenager I doubt that I’d ever have been able to develop a more reasonable attitude towards food. Your mileage may vary, obviously, but I think they’re pure poison.
@Argenti
I found the communities where you had to monitor what you said stigmatizing at the time. (I still do, to a certain degree, depending on the commuthis and what specifically is off-limits.)
I was in college (well, had just dropped out/been kicked out of college) so I might not be looking out for younger girls as much as I should be with regards to this.
‘Incel’ = ‘involuntarily celibate’. Put bluntly, people who can’t get laid but really really badly want to. Most ‘incels’ that I’ve encountered seem to have a decidedly paranoid view of the world in general and the opposite sex in particular, which may partly or indeed completely explain their lack of success.
This show probably counts as anti-thinspiration:
http://youtu.be/9wHp7lse9dc
Hugo Shit is a flaming hypocrite who condemns other straight men for preferring teens and twenty-somethings like it was a crime against humanity while celebrating cougars despite not bothering to actually practice what he preaches. He is the very definition of mangina as he is a rabid gender-traitor who sucks up to women at the expense of other straight men just to get laid.
“‘Incel’ = ‘involuntarily celibate’. Put bluntly, people who can’t get laid but really really badly want to.”
Why don’t male incels and femal incels get together and sex each other up?
Male incels would be very upset with you for suggesting that there might be female incels. That’s misandry, that is.
Short version because Do Not Google. Pro-ana is short for pro-anorexia, they range from “your eating disorder is acceptable” to “I want an eating disorder it’d make me thin!” Pretty sure Cassandra’s also referring to the latter sort, I don’t really see the former as pro-ana since they aren’t bout developing an eating disorder.
Thinspiration = pics of scarily thin people, mostly women/girls, probably ‘shopped or anorexic, used to discourage / guilt trip one about eating, because you want to look like that don’t you!
“When I was at my worst, I was cutting myself every day, starving myself or hinging and purging, and contemplating suicide all the time.”
Ick, I’m sorry, that sounds rather familiar and was no fun at all. That’s also why I just shamelessly plugged the bodies under siege board. Made some good friends there, hell, got a book of traditional Irish fiddle music from one for Yule (and goddamned are jigs easier to play than EA!)
@atomicgrizzly
Female incels don’t exist, apparently. Women can just walk up to men and get sex. (And the women who can’t don’t count. Who wants to have sex with the ugly chick? /sarcasm)
“That’s misandry, that is.”
Yeesh! My bad XD!
Even though I was partially joking, I think it’s worth noting that my first (and current) serious relationship was with a woman who was in the same situation as me (no real serious relationships before).
So basically if these incel guys think they’re alone, they probably aren’t.
I don’t know how you get rid of all the pro-ana (decentish and worse) without reinforcing that it is something to hide and be ashamed of, which is not a message that I think should be sent. Especially if the average length of time people spend with these communities is short (which all the anecdotes I’ve heard support, but that’s not data).
“I want an eating disorder it’d make me thin!”
I’ve actually heard people say this before, and it’s always unnerving.
I don’t think I’ll ever say it myself. Food is awesome! Who care if I have a belly? It’s mine, not yours! >:p
Yeah, the issue is getting across “this is bad for you” without it turning into “so the fact that you do it makes you a bad person.”
“I found the communities where you had to monitor what you said stigmatizing at the time. (I still do, to a certain degree, depending on the commuthis and what specifically is off-limits.)”
The only things I remember being strictly off limits where weights/sizes and methods of self-injury. It was mention to help prevent the possibility of encouraging others to try to do what you did / be as thin / etc. I’m not sure pro-ana existed yet when I was cutting regularly, so finding BUS, and that holy shit other people did this too and I’m not just an attention seeking teenager! was important.
I feel like when I was at my most disordered the worst possible thing I could have heard was that what I was doing was OK. I really, really wanted someone to tell me that it wasn’t OK, but nobody did. If I’d had a place to say “I’m aiming for under 300 calories a day” and had people respond by praising my sense of discipline rather than telling me that I needed to stop then I honestly doubt that I’d ever have recovered.
“I don’t know how you get rid of all the pro-ana (decentish and worse) without reinforcing that it is something to hide and be ashamed of, which is not a message that I think should be sent.”
Couldn’t you just reinforce the health risks without shaming them?
I mean, I get that I’m probably being hypocritical, since I hate when people do this with overweight people like me (I know it’s bad for my heart! Gah!), but it’s kind of different because nobody actually LIKES being overweight.
BTW, anyone else see this?
http://youtu.be/QWtsV50_-p4
A new goddamn David Bowie single after a decade!
@atomicgrizzly
Maybe a health risk link and other links to better resources attached to pro-ana sites would be better than shutting them down?