So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
http://catsthatlooklikepinupgirls.tumblr.com/
NSFW but not hardcore or anything… Think this is my favorite: http://catsthatlooklikepinupgirls.tumblr.com/post/35965717068
re hats. I like them. I don’t like trilbys (the small fedoras which are so popular now). I like a good fedora (which includes my semi-stetson). I have a bowler, a stetson, an opera hat (satin topper, with a spring frame) berets, a newsie, some watch caps (and crochet head warmers), a winter-Tilley, felt “snap brim” leather flat cap (ca. 1580 for style), patrol caps, the hat my dress-blues require (not suitable for any other purpose) a campaign hat (think Smokey the Bear).
I think that’s all of them, but I might be wrong.
I feel like if I just sat some Nice Guys down and talked to them they would learn, and then I tell myself “Remember what happened last time you tried to do that?” so I don’t.
HHhhmmmm….Oh, nice guys, how pathetic you are
“…you had a brief glimpse of a unicorn, a dragon, and possibly something else pointing and laughing. You never saw them again.”
They all flew off with pegasus and stayed gone because we’re too stupid for their awesome.
Pecunium, you may have too many hats! Where do you store them? I’ve got enough issues with my teeny tiny tophat, eeyore winter hat and fedora/trilby.
LBT, if we meet up in Boston, I’ll try to wear the teeny tiny tophat, it’s quite noticeable! Eeyore if it’s freezing (just as noticable!)
I am so happy I don’t meet people online. These guys need a hard baseball bat shoved up their stinking asses!
WORD! They’re hanging out with Nessie and Ogopogo, Bigfoot, and all them guys.
I have a trilby. Last time I wore it was when we went to see Breaking Dawn 2 for shits and giggles (plenty were provided), and we all dressed up as Spiffy the Vampire Slayer. 😀
@Jenny.
Rape threats = not okay. Seriously not okay.
Sorry–I meant Jennie
RE: Jennie
Male survivor of rape here. Believe it or not, I have never found someone whose behavior was improved by brutal sodomization. Please fuck off now.
RE: Argenti
We’ll grab Sneak’s pink cat ear hat. It’s nice and easy to pick out in a crowd, plus will keep our fuzzy Q-tip head warm.
Oh my god is Jennie still hanging around?
What exactly are you trying to achieve?
If you’re trolling it’s a pretty pathetic attempt.
I’m 85% sure Jennie is Pell.
Who is this Jennie?
LBT — eeyore’s ears are floppy and lined with pink, it’ll be a pink eared lunch!
Now, wtf to tell my mother, I’m thinking just saying we’re getting lunch with a male friend from manboobz, she may get a bit weird bout it, but she’s got the manners to ask me latter. She um, doesn’t do well with non-cis people, thinks it must be so hard on their parents…which means I’m stuck as bio-gender now that I’m living with them again. At least she has manners, so this should go fine. Do you still have my email?
Jennie: I, for one, would NOT want people to be raped. Go away pls.
RE: Argenti
Er, dunno what we pass for these days. We were being read as male for a while, but we seem to be slipping back over to the female side of reading for some reason. Male should be fine if it’s me, but Sneak was getting read female no matter what zie was wearing or hormonal status. (Ah, the fun of multiplicity. Your gender gets read ALL OVER THE PLACE.)
As for it being hard on our parents… yes, it was. But now it’s not, because we cut them off! 😀 We’re not their problem anymore!
And I think we lost your email, sorry.
“And I think we lost your email, sorry.” — I still have yours, so no problem.
As for cutting off parents…she has some blind spot to the fact people do this.
Assuming I have the right addy, you’ve got mail 🙂
No, because clearly that’s not what the question means. The context is more like, “Are women, in general, obligated to play the role of eye candy on your behalf, regardless of whether you are dating them?” More importantly, that is the interpretation favoured by the maker of the blog.
Argenti: I have a shelf,and some hat boxes.
I wear them. The bowler gets lots of appreciation. When I got my winter coat I started wearing my topper.
Since I wear a hat, all the time, what I’m wearing will decide what hat looks best.
Grumbles. Nope. Look at the things the women who speak here are saying. Look at your actual opinion on leg hair.
Look at the context of the question: Yes, there are some “big” philosophical questions but the point of the questionaire is, “how suitable are this person’s views to mine”.
I know a lot of women who use OK cupid, and the sentiments expressed here, are pretty consistent. Even women who wouldn’t imagine not shaving their legs (of my acquaintance) balk at men who think women need to.
Nice coat! And your storage makes sense, I tend to fill any open space with a fish tank XD
Dani: I think he doesn’t mean Mary Tudor, as the only person I associate that with is Elizabeth I’s older sister, and she would truck with no dissent.
That’s precisely the Mary I mean. And, given that during her childhood Henry VIII prohibited her from seeing or communicating with her mother, forced her to live in a very wet and drafty castle on the Welsh Marches, conscripted her into serving her bastard infant half-sister while accepting the moniker “Lady Mary” rather than “Princess Mary,” and then forced her to sign an oath proclaiming that her parents’ marriage was never valid and that she was in fact a bastard with no claim to the throne whatsoever (after ten or so years of raising her to believe she had the only rightful claim to it) – and that Henry did all this only because Anne Boleyn gave him PENISFEELINGS – I think the comparison is wholly apt.
Remember, Queen Mary never got to burn her father at the stake, no matter how much she might have liked to. 😉
Wrong, pecunium. You said the appropriate answer I should give to the question is ‘Yes.’ Obviously it isn’t. The correct response on my part is to simply skip the question, which I have done.
Yeah, but even at that, she was a prince; using the language of the times, when she came into her own.
There was more to what Henry did than his lust. For reasons of politics he needed a son, and Catherine wasn’t likely to give him another child. The lack of a son (more than any infidelity, real or imagined) is why Ann went to the block.
And Mary’s claim was only valid, at the time, so long as there was no male heir. Had Catherine produced a son, Mary wasn’t the heir.
When Henry finally did have a male heir it mellowed things (though for all the storm of their relationship [sort of like Henry II and Richard I] they were still close, and Henry sent his physicians when Mary was really ill in 1542). Given Edward’s age Henry put Mary back in the succession.
I see why you chose them, but the relationship isn’t really, Prince and Princess, but Father/Daughter; and father daughter in a very unbalanced situation.