So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
New AVfP.
Are those NES controllers? *dies* Awesome!
*waits for Diogenes’s reaction to the MLP poster*
“You’re having a great day with the NSA!”. Love it. They’re apparently manning the phones with foreigners now?
I’ve always wondered why they seem to think *all the other guys they see (esp. those with girlfriends* are jerks. Frankly, at least in my social circles, there are very few honest-to-God jerks. Projection? Does anyone else have any ideas?
One theory I heard is a tendency to equate “confident” with “jerk”, and not recognize the distinction between being open about what you want and harassing people. A lot of them do seem to have a creepy resentment of high-status men (although not as creepy as their resentment of women), and tend to see physical attractiveness, financial success, etc., as proof that they guy in question is an asshole.
I know that once they’ve got the idea into their head, they tend to fall into confirmation bias, so if they see a guy who’s romantically successful, they assume he’s somehow an alpha asshole unless it’s proven otherwise.
“They’re apparently manning the phones with foreigners now?”
Pierre is a citizen of the world.
Love the strip! I did a double take at first, I thought the Dumb One looked like a wannabe Inuit. Which is insulting to the Inuit, I know. Laughed at the Tomb Raider etc stuff on his wall. Somehow him panting over Lara Croft seems very … plausible.
Hey, what happened to Pierre’s moustache in the last panel? Did it crawl away and hide in his hat to get further away from Dumb Chihuahua’s yapping?
Go look at PlentyOfFish profiles. Some quotes that may give clues as to why people think this way:
“knows how to treat a woman”
“most of my messages are from complete nutters but am hoping their are some “normal” guys out there!”
“looking for mr nice guy”
“My main goal for this is to find the prince that hasnt approached his princess yet”
hundreds of profiles saying they want a “genuine” guy – you know, as opposed to all the fake ones.
So yeah… it’s out there.
What do I have to do to be in a comic with cute Pierre?
Get in line, you!
GET BACK IN LINE!
Too bad I already dropped EA’s Take The Pill once tonight, or I’d embed it here for talacaris.
Try being amusing, or at least unique.
“Pierre is a citizen of the world.” — works for me!
I just found your blog. Bear with me, I’ve been told I’m humor-impaired.
The hatred espoused by these “nice guys” is astounding. It really makes me grateful that I’m in a committed partnership.
1.
Yay, Pierre! 😀 Although he’s missing his moustache in the 5th panel.
2.
I noticed there was a small talk about bad Xmas gifts; I think I have a pretty bad one. For my 21st birthday, I was given anti-aging creams. Wait, “youth protect” serums. Dafuq?
“I noticed there was a small talk about bad Xmas gifts; I think I have a pretty bad one. For my 21st birthday, I was given anti-aging creams. Wait, “youth protect” serums. Dafuq?”
Did you regift them to the original gifter? That supposed faux pas seems justified in this case!
Backtracking a bit, I think the enjoyment (or lack thereof) one gets from The Odyssey depends a lot on the translation and where it’s read, as well as just personal taste. I hated it in high school, between a dull translation and a teacher who had nothing interesting to discuss. I enjoyed it a lot more in college. It’s still nowhere near my favorites, but it wasn’t a chore to read through. I much preferred the parts with Odysseus’s son to the main storyline, though.
It’s from a relative, so the most I can do is fume about it in private 🙁 What’s most disturbing is this company’s age creams have three ranges, and the youngest is for late teens to mid thirties.
I mean, maybe if you’re really neurotic about ageing and getting wrinkles, mid-thirties is the earliest I would expect someone to start using anti-ageing products.
Because cute.
I was going to make a comment on nice guys vs. jerks, but then I saw ako had pretty much said it already (dammit). Some people think of loud, confident and succesful people with jerkishness, when that’s not always fair. One mistake I used to make was to assume the quieter, less obviously ‘sexual’ people were nicer (mostly because I resented confident people). Not a mistake I will make again.
Oh man. One of the reasons I’m so glad not to be dating right now is because negging would totally work on me. It certainly has in the past. I mean, I hope that it’d be different now that I know what they’re doing, but I’m not so sure.
Yay, new Pierre!
drst: I remember Sniglets. I’ll meet you at the Werther’s Original candy dish.
talacaris: you’d have to be a lot more interesting than you are now to be in a Pierre strip.
The first guy does have a point: there seems to be an absurdly high concentration of bi women on OKC.
“Do you believe in dinosaurs?” “No.”
I was also unaware that dinosaurs are part of some religion on okcupid. Wow. :p
Well, anti-evolutionaries often don’t believe in dinosaurs.
But there are fossils! With respect to the MLP fans, this isn’t like asking about unicorns or something!
…narwhals?
http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2010/07/26/bisexuality-and-dating-on-okcupid/
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-biggest-lies-in-online-dating/
“REALITY: 80% of self-identified bisexuals are only interested in one gender.”
WOMEN:
“12% of women under 35 on OkCupid (and the internet in general, I’d wager) self-identify as bi. However, as you can see above, only about 1 in 4 of those women is actually into both guys and girls at the same time.”
MEN:
“throughout the teens and twenties, the male bisexual population is mostly observably gay men. “
The OKC blog seems to have a pretty shallow understanding of what it means to be bi. But nice to be reminded, once again, that we must always endeavor to prove ourselves to others or be assumed to be lying 9_9
FWIW I identified as straight on OKC when I used it, because I wasn’t ready for a relationship with a woman. So maybe I made up for one of the lying liars going the other way.
I think the Nice Guy thing about ‘treating you like a Princess’ is a smokescreen for ‘but I expect to be treated like a King’.
And by “King” he means “Henry VIII” and by “Princess” he means “Mary Tudor.” In other words, “I expect to be treated as if I am your unquestioned lord and master who is beholden only to my personal version of God, and I in return will treat you exactly as shittily as I personally think you deserve at any given moment, which may or may not (but often is) dependent on how some other woman is making my boner feel.”