So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
No waste. The quitting was a bit unexpected, and I dithered about it for about four months. During that time (it’s complex) I didn’t have to get a hair cut.
It had been 16 years since I’d last been at liberty to let it go. It’s been four, and a half, years, and it’s near my waist, and not yet (so far as I can tell) at terminal length. I braid it most of the time, so it doesn’t dread.
To each their own I guess? I like the red, gives my boring brown some color!
“During that time (it’s complex) I didn’t have to get a hair cut.” o.O? If I wasn’t at like 30+ hours awake, I might ask, but complex would probably just confuse me currently anyways.
“It’s been four, and a half, years, and it’s near my waist, and not yet (so far as I can tell) at terminal length. I braid it most of the time, so it doesn’t dread.”
Mine took probably the better part of five years, at least, and it’s really thin fine strands, so it took for-fucking-ever to grow out. Braids? 😛 cheater, brush mine out every damned day, braids are for when I’m too depressed to bother. Flipping it up and braiding upside down over my head is pretty hilarious though!
Argenti – I like reds, as in completely-not-natural hair colour or real red hair, but mine is just a gingery faded blah look at the end of dark brown hair, which is not a good look at all. The hair colours that make me go WOW in admiration are the crimson/magenta/plum varieties. They wouldn’t work on my skin colour, though; I’ve a touch of rosacea redness which really doesn’t need emphasising. Plus having the hair dark brown and layered to bring out the curls makes it just right for photos to do pics of Mr K’s luscious locks! 🙂
I was growing my hair out. I get regular hair cuts though.
My hair falls to my midback. I think I may grow it out to my waist, but am indecisive.
I wish I could grow my hair longer and keep the curl in it! It only seems to grow to about armpit level before it gives up, and by then it’s got a measly sort of wave rather than curls – neither really straight nor properly curly.
Argenti – you braiding your hair upside down reminds me of that scene in Black Books where Manny pops up with his hair in pigtails and Bernard sporfles his wine everywhere … 😀
My hair is hella fine, and if I wear it loose in wind/while wearing a coat, or a knapsack/rucksack, it’s a felted mess. The only way I can keep it long is to braid it when I go out.
But I do like it long, and the way it feels, and it’s a glorious red in the sunlight.
Also, I don’t want to have any of it end up in my yarn, while it’s still on my head.
Kitteh, not sure this link will work for no-mobile, but my hair is this color — http://www.lorealparisusa.com/_us/_en/mobile/iphone/default.aspx?page=top{main:m_pdp//objectid+HCo7_8;category+F1_Haircolor_AllOverColor;previd+F1_Haircolor_AllOverColor;pagenum+1;perpage+25//}
At least, it’ll be that color until going grey is reasonable, my fucking hair decided to start that at 16!
I don’t get they Black Books reference though, sorry!
Pecunium — I’d thought yours looked red! And yeah, mine ends up a total mess, a hair tie is Not Optional, but braiding it is work and (shh don’t tell ABNOY) I’m a masochist. (Makes dating fun >.< but that’s probably TMI sorry)
The mental image of spinning with still attached hair is both hilarious and painful — I’ve caught mine while sewing, it hurts — thank the gods I sew by hand!
Damn, it did break! It’s feria #50.
Melody — the only real difference I remember between mid-back and waist length is that I can now manage to accidentally sit on my hair, which is interesting!
Rosacea in the house! [fist bumps with Kitteh’s]
Nearly every time I get my hair cut, people remark that I have two completely different types of hair on my head. The top layer is light blonde, mostly straight, and made of lots of rather fine strands. The bottom layer is light-dark brown, much thicker strands, much more wavy. I think I’m a mutant, but without any attendant superpowers. 🙁
::returns fist bump::
Cloudiah, are you my sister? Because that’s exactly what her hair’s like! Does the name Nar Nar Goon mean anything? (No it’s not a relation of Jar Jar Binks.) 😉
Do you have any trouble with makeup or skincare because rosacea? I ask because I found the best advice on the Paula’s Choice website, and changing products made all the difference.
Argenti – this is the Black Books episode in question. Bernard and Manny are house-sitting and have got it totally wrong about what wine they can and can’t drink; naturally they’re drinking incredibly rare special wine that was meant to be given to the Pope. The scene with the hair starts at about the 14 minute mark.
http://youtu.be/GeOgfvaZzFY
I do not live in Australia, so the chance that I am The Kittehs’ Unpaid Sister are slim to none. 🙂
My dermatologist had me on some prescription topical thing for the rosacea, but I thought it actually made things worse. I’m using pretty good OTC stuff now, but will check out Paula’s Choice.
Wait, Kittehs’, those Paula’s Choice products aren’t made out of foreskins! How can a self-respecting feminist man-hater use them! [harumphs]
#seriouslypaulelamit’sjustajoke
Lol little girl pigtails! I’d meant that it’s easier to flip it straight up and lean forward than try to twist around once I reach about shoulder blade level, but yeah, that’s hilarious!
Pecunium, am I missing some trick here? It ends up all lopsided if I just braid it to one side or the other and since my spine things a 20°~ curve would be fun, last thing I need is to be more lopsided! (Oh gods is the violin hell on my neck and spine, I sound like some combo of gravel and rocks hitting each other…I am way too young for this shit!)
Didn’t think you lived here, lol! Another of those separated-at-birth things.
I had the same problem with topical stuff for mine. The doc said it would take about six weeks to work and I might have to go onto oral meds as well, because so many patients did. It took longer than that and only cleared up (and hasn’t come back, fingers crossed) after I changed my makeup. I don’t know if that’s causation or correlation, but I’m not arguing!
The thing I like about the PC site (look up the actual article on rosacea in the search facility) is that it’s specific about what active ingredients in makeup and sunscreen to look for and what ones to avoid.
“The Kittehs’ Unpaid Sister”
…um… o.O?
LOL foreskins!
Didn’t think you’d be trying the Manny look, Argenti! 😀
If you get time, check out that episode. The way they replace the wine at the end is a classic. A horror classic …
I work it straight up, and then as it gets longer I pull it forward. If it gets too long (below my hips) it might get awkward to have it pulled so far in front of my face that it squishes my nose.
It’s code! My sister just quit her job so she really is unpaid.
::side-eyes cloudiah in case she’s my sister playin’ ebil troll tricks::
Wow, that’s weird! I was just playing on your name; I promise I’m not your sister. That would really be the long-game troll, since I’ve been posting here since early last year! XD
Pecunium, sounds like the same method. Ad since I’m frikken short, and weirdly proportioned, my hair comes down to mouth level that way, it’s actually pretty handy, I can hold it in my lips while I fight with a hair tie.
Wait til you can wrap it around like a noose, I find that hilarious…less funny when you wake up with it twisted that way (or caught in an armpit!)
The things short haired people never even think about!
@kittehs – my hair is more wavy than curly, but the key to keeping it that way for me is only use shampoo a couple times a week (and when I do, rub the shampoo gently into the roots only, then rinse and put conditioner in the strands immediately) and otherwise just use water or water and conditioner to clean it. When you dry it, be very gentle. No scrubbing your hair with the towel. Carefully scrunch the ends up with the towel, not too tightly, and don’t wrap the towel around your head. Your hair will be very damp but that’s okay. Air drying is the best option, and if I have to use a hair dryer I use a diffuser. Don’t use a hairbrush and don’t ever brush your hair out completely. If you need to comb anything, use a wide spaced comb or one designed for curly hair, never a straight hair brush.
(All of this is from “Curly Girl” by Lorainne Massey, who is a stylist who specializes in curly and wavy hair.)
LOL cloudiah, don’t worry, I don’t really think you’re my sister! Unpaid Sister was a great pun and nice coincidence.
drst – yup, all that’s pretty much exactly what I do, apart from “be gentle with the towel”. My hair only gets blowdried once a month when it’s been coloured/shampooed etc. Haven’t brushed it for years and I use a wide comb except for my fringe. There’s a very nice leave-in conditioner called Rejuven8 for the ends (they do a few types of conditioners, I think). Works nicely and smells good, too.
Long hair is so much work. Even just washing it is a lot of work.
My hair was down to me waist until about a month ago. I typically braid it and wear it in a bun so I can leave it alone for days at a time (sometimes a week, but by then there knots all along the nape of my neck). I had no idea exactly how much work doing hair is until my pain started and I had to pay attention to every little thing. Anyway, a month ago I realized it was stupid to keep braiding those extra inches when they were just going up in a bun and haphardly chopped it off at my shoulders. It looks ridiculous when it is down, but as it is never down, I couldn’t care less. 🙂
I shaved my head for funsies about 6 years ago and wish I’d done it again when the pain started, but who knew it would still hurt this much years later? Now, it seems that I’ve put too much work in to quit, which isn’t logical, but is holding me back…for now.