So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
The last dude about is clearly the Nice Guy answer to Vinnie No-Nose, and will come round and break your fingers if you are foolish enough to choose an “asshole” over one of his “nice” buddies.
Nah it’s cool because I rule and he sucks.
Katz — giving unasked for advice and not knowing when to drop it (though I suspect that that’s the script you’re using), hating the US’s “justice” system (particularly the drug laws), probably music given his Voynich Manuscript theory.
I’m picturing relatively young / dorm decor — dark side of the moon poster, shitty furniture, mini fridge, futon, etc
“… I rule and he sucks.” — TRUFAX!! 😀
I get why “Nice guys” think they’re actually nice even though they’re assholes–after all, nobody wants to think that they’re a terrible person. I’ve always wondered why they seem to think *all the other guys they see (esp. those with girlfriends* are jerks. Frankly, at least in my social circles, there are very few honest-to-God jerks. Projection? Does anyone else have any ideas?
I want to know where the “women always say they’re just looking for a nice guy” and “women complain they can’t find any nice guys” stuff comes from too. I’ve only ever heard women say those things in the immediate aftermath of a bad breakup.
I think it is quite simply the “different when I do it” syndrome. Common among abusers and the self righteous the world over.
Katz – put mirrors in there. Lots and lots of mirrors, because Dumbass the Chihuahua mostly loves himself.
http://youtu.be/bUlk6Ugt4Gk
I’m seriously asking. What would make anyone who was looking for a platform on which to expound on their dumbass theories about the Nature of Woman thing “I know – OK Cupid!”
Tequila?
@katz
DtC grew up around child actors:
http://manboobz.com/2012/11/17/i-dont-want-to-publish-reviews-of-films-where-women-are-alpha-and-men-are-beta-and-other-thoughts-from-the-new-publisher-of-the-niagara-falls-reporter/comment-page-2/#comment-222091
DtC loves Adam Smith:
http://manboobz.com/2012/12/10/the-mens-rights-movement-much-less-popular-than-horse-porn/comment-page-5/#comment-229694
DtC does NOT like The Odyssey:
http://manboobz.com/2012/12/10/the-mens-rights-movement-much-less-popular-than-horse-porn/comment-page-5/#comment-229708
I’m sleepy after eating Greek food and drinking wine so that’s all I got.
Thanks, I’m definitely going for the dorm room-o-shit look.
Not a problem Katz, but that is just my impression.
And to be fair to Diogenes the Dull, does anyone actually like the Odyssey?
Oooh, Katz is working on the next AVFPierre.
Does Pierre fall asleep in the middle of the conversation in this one?
I liked the Odyssey. Still like it better than the Iliad, but the Aeneid is the best.
Maybe I was just sick of my mythology course really being Greco-Roman myths? Three years of Latin at that point, I was kind of looking for a break from it // myths of other cultures.
Or at least have to drink some nuclear-strength coffee to stay awake.
Why claim to be a “nice guy”? Because among my adolescent mates the standard mode of interaction was boasting. Being smart, good at games, loudest at farts, fastest at downing hotdogs, maximum recorded belch after just one can of drink – all good guy stuff and really good to brag about. herp a derp
Now, I want to talk to a woman. Can’t brag about that stuff, women don’t care about the real world, they’re not interested in a man’s world. Women want a nice guy someone told me. There’s a clue.
I’ll boast about that.
And here we are.
And them with not a clue about what being nice entails. “Common human decency” seem to be three words that don’t appear together in their vocabularies. Decency probably doesn’t appear at all, at least with the Swirly Triplets here.
I generally feel I’ve dated decent folks. I think part of the problem is that these guys who think guys seem to only date jerks only here about the guys when they do something that makes the girl mad.
I talk more about my SO when they make me upset. Looking for advice and comfort. It isn’t that they are that way all the time.
Truth!
One of my guy friends tried to kiss me when I was sleeping after having too much to drink. He apparently didn’t think it was a “big deal”…..I doubt he would have said that if it had been some other dude doing it.
mildlymagnificent is one distilled vial of just plain sad.
Katz – I think mildlymagnificent was describing the NiceGuy script, not actually being one. Zir’s previous posts here don’t suggest anything like that to me.
Oh, whoops.
Apologies if you were just repeating the Nice Guy script, not espousing it, mildlymagnificent!
That’s OK. Shoulda put some punctuation in various places, but was a bit tired-rushed.
“Do you think women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved?” This question irks me. I’m sure many guys who answer in the affirmative are simply assuming it is asking about personal preference, since this is a dating site, after all. But the phrasing couches it in terms of ‘obligation’ to which I say, nay, it’s a free country. So I suppose I’d answer ‘No’, although that may imply that I would actually date someone who didn’t shave, as I fail to see how the question is relevant in any other respect. Questions about issues such as abortion, gay marriage, etc., I I get, because it’s reasonable to expect that you would be looking to date people who share your views. But why the fuck should I care what a potential mate had to say to that particular question? Nobody says, “I’m looking for a girl who shares my views on leg shaving.”