So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
pecinium
Regarding the skin color thing. I’ll point it out to you next time I see it.
Wetherby
A guy can’t have his preferences? I’m sure you do.
I stand by my statement, that oral is harder on a hairier woman.
ostara
My self-esteem is fine. Thank you. I don’t want to change anyone. The most one person could ever do is influence another. I’ve said that pretty consistently be it a discussion about rehabilitation of prisoners, treatment of the clinically insane (do they still use that word?), or pretty much anything else. I value autonomy.
But at the same time, I think working to be the best SO to your SO is a key component to a relationship. So, if one partner really wants something, they shouldn’t hesitate to ask. As long as its normal stuff I don’t see a big deal.
The thing about being dirty, if you’re dirty, you can make other things dirty. That’s rude if someone else has to clean it.
Hairy legs won’t make anything else hairy.
Whatever happened to that dancing goalposts GIF?
Jeez, I go sleep for 12 hours and already you all are disparaging invertebrates. Planarians are ADORABLE! Diogenes is unadorable.
And Guinea worms are nearly extinct, so I think we should speak of them in the hushed tones one would use around an elderly relative on their death beds. Have some respect!
Here’s an adorable planarian(s?) that can’t figure out how to move because it has eight heads.
8 heads? As if spiders weren’t bad enough.
Pssst, everyone. Ignore the attention-seeking troll if you can.
Meanwhile, did someone say dancing goalposts?
@ cloudiah
Smooches!
Wtf is the context for clinically insane?! (Sorry guys, I have to know!)
And I agree that planariæ are kinda cute. Not entirely sure that’s the proper Latin plural though.
Only if you’re bad at it. Do you think it’s harder on a hairer dude?
Sorry, folks.
Not like I’d give a white guy oral. A girl’s gotta have standards.
There’s a certain amusement value in saying “I stand by my statement” and then stating something that’s quite distinctly not the original statement.
His original statement.
Ostara – “men have the option of growing beards, mustaches, and can generally be a bit more lax with their shaving regimens if they want to be”
Not to mention the whole business of stubble being fashionable. Way to make less grooming a bonus point for men. You don’t see that happening for women.
Let’s just ignore the stupid troll, he’s not worth engaging with. The Voynich cartoon and the Pubic Terror movie franchise are the only worthwhile things he’s ever contributed.
Don’t engage! You’ll only encourage him.
Pube Terror 35: Oral For Dummies.
Anyone who hasn’t seen it, Katz has done a New Pierre cartoon!
Lowquacks, hope you and your friends/loved ones/neighbors are all safe!
David, while you’re online – there are a lot of requests for banning Diogenes, with a side order of checking his ISP address.
Please do keep checking in, lowquacks, just so we know you’re OK.
A friend of mine once said, during a discussion of why several of us found British guys attractive, “I like my Englishmen polished but with the ability to go scruffy if the occasion calls for it.” 🙂
I draw the line at stubble, myself. Not into facial hair, or long hair, on dudes. (From a “what I personally find attractive” standpoint. I have no problems with long haired, bearded dudes existing or being attractive to other people. You know, Jesus and so on.)
@lowquacks – stay safe!
Lowquacks, stay safe!
Good point, suspiciouscate! Of course, since it’s wimmins job to be hairless, and wimmins job to clean, an MRA would tell you you aren’t being logical.
I don’t mind a little stubble as long as it’s not gravel rash territory. 😀
I’m the opposite with facial hair and hair length; I really like long hair (IF it’s well groomed) and moustaches (ditto). Beards that are Van Dyke length or shorter yes, long beards no thanks. Mr Kittehs is my ideal – ain’t I lucky! 😀 But isn’t it funny how I don’t have any problem with the idea of guys who don’t fit my ideal existing. Or looking the way they want to. Must be that feminist hive mind at work again.
Quick update on the fire sitch:
The warning looks to have been a bit of a false alarm. It’s hot, but about 9 degrees colder than the predicted high of 44C. Winds have died down, and much of the Illawarra’s (my region) is getting rainfall, which should reduce amount of available fuel dramatically. No fires at all anywhere near Newcastle-Sydney-Wollongong in the main population centres, and only two emergency warnings have been issued in the state though the Rural Fire Service are anxious about many more.
This is all very relieving.
Yay, lowquacks! I’m so happy you and your family are safe.