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“Nice Guys” on parade

NG1

So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.

Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.

It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid  that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.

The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine —  and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.

Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:

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Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Lol at all the “took French, can read/speak French” — I only took Latin, ergo why French ties my brain in knots — Italian and Spanish I can half get from context and root words, French just makes me go “you did what to that word, and why?”

“…when I heard him use a bizarre endearment (I heard it in English)…”

TARDIS translation circuit functioning properly, how if we could just fix the chameleon circuit… 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

How should be now, fucking auto correct

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL Argenti! You wouldn’t believe how long it took me to persuade him that it’d be a lot easier for me to understand him if he used verbal language than if he insisted on the non-verbal (ideas, emotions, more direct than words) language he was used to. A TARDIS translator would have been very handy!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The thing with French is that a lot of it made it into English too. Reading Chaucer is an education in that regard – you’re all, oh, so that’s where that word comes from.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Yes, the language is a real mixture that way.

Fun trivia from Time Team: the idea that the Celtic people more or less disappeared to Scotland and Wales in Britain and were replaced by the Anglo Saxons is a myth. The vast majority – I think they said about 80% but I’d have to find the show and check – of the English are almost pure Celtic. The Germanic ancestry is quite small.

The phrase Louis used was “my little cabbage” – petit choux. It’s possible I’ve heard it somewhere over the years and forgotten, but I know it didn’t put in an appearance in the history books that made up all my reading about France. 😀

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The Picts never went away either. Speaking of which, I’ve been reading the Tiffany Aching books and I love the pictsies. Take note, oversensitive trolls who get super upset when anyone says anything less than adoring about white people.

The pictsies make me think that Pratchett must have Scottish friends.

katz
11 years ago

Took French.

I’m disappointed you didn’t invent it on your own.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I was resting on my laurels after inventing the Ugro-Finnic language group when I was seven.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Lol, so I actually tried creating a language once for a RPG, even with a limited vocabulary it’s really quite hard!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Aaaand it’s 10pm and I haven’t made lunch, done the dishes or got tomorrow’s clothes ready, but I have got a new face template done in a couple of hours, so the lack of sleep will be worth it!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Well, time for me to head to bed. Niters all – and lowquacks, stay safe tomorrow, it sounds like New South is in for a hellish dangerous fire day.

BigMomma
BigMomma
11 years ago

Honours degree in french over here…studied Latin, German and Spanish too.

BigMomma
BigMomma
11 years ago

Yeah lowquacks, stay safe

eline
eline
11 years ago

Wow what did I miss! I’m lagging behind reading other topic’s comments and this explodes… any pointers to the fun bits?

On IUDs (TMI here onwards)… I’m under 35 with no kids but desperately needed one to deal with painful periods. Visiting the emergency room once a month ain’t funny. Had one put in two and half years ago and it made life so much easier, until a surgeon wanted it removed against obgyn’s advice suspecting it was causing infection in abdomen (outside uterus, that is), instead of you know, taking a sample to check if it’s the cause first. IUD went out for what turned out to be no reason at all, infection remained and my painful periods came back. Now they’re having trouble getting a new one in, naturally. Thanks a lot doc. Probably need to put it in under sedation so they can wrangle the cervix open without me screaming.

My SO also complained about getting poked, but that was solved with a little nip & tuck on the wires. It’s an easy procedure, I heartily recommend if you have the pokey problem.

kiki
kiki
11 years ago

I’ve done a search of the thread, and I can’t believe nobody’s suggested Pubic Enemy.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

That’s one for Kiki!

Morning everyone, going to make coffee.

pecunium
11 years ago

Naïf: I’m a bit disappointed that my suspicion was correct; that the general atmosphere here is hostile to white men for being white men.

Bullshit. Prove it. Show me the money. What you see is what you want to see (confimation bias) combined with thinking the grief you are getting is because you are thought to be white.

It’s not. Do you see me getting much in the way of dismissal for my life/experience? And ain’t I a white man? And didn’t you claim to to be a white man? Why yes you did, and you pretended that being white, and liking to work on cars was why you were being “picked on”, rather than your inane ideas about how women need to groom themselves so dudes like you won’t lose their boners.

What we don’t like much is people being jerkwads and bigots. We’ve had some serious rip-fests with people of color to (who was that, “chuck emcee”, who was all about cults and shit?)>

It’s not your skin, it’s you.

You said the Romans couldn’t adapt to horse archers. But you just flubbed the Persian Empire that first did it. It was the Parthians, not the Sassanids who introduced the compound bow.

You mean composite, and again, you are wrong. They date back to at least Tutanhkamun’s age, and almost certainly before, with the earliest being thought to arise in the Androvo peoples, which show up in the Urals, and so it’s possible the first may have come from the area which is now the Black Sea. But it almost certainly multiple points of origin (sort of like writing systems, which had three).

And I may have gotten which empire it was wrong. It happens. I don’t pretend to vast levels of expertise in everything, and sometimes my memory fails me. If I think it is, I look shit up. But yes, if it makes you feel better, I forgot the shift from the Parthians (of whom I was obviously thinking) to the Sassanids. There was, of course, no cultural continuity.

Even at that, I had more than the bare bones of it, and it was on point. Unlike a guy who didn’t look beyond the words of his econ prof about people stuffing rose petals up their nose, or who made a big deal about having reads texts in the original aramaic, and didn’t really notice; nor attempt to contextualise, someone using some in response.

And no, I don’t speak Aramaic. My partner’s father does. He made a point to study it, and ugaritic, because it amuses him. The places in which it shows up in Talmud being more formulaic than not, he went a bit further than his rabbinical studies required.

But I digress.

pecunium
11 years ago

Argenti: I feel your pain with French. I have some of that problem with all the non-spanish slavic languages. The alphabet makes them hurt my brain.

French is screwing with you because of the Gaulic spelling, and the influence of the frankish period. It’s not so much “latin based” as it is a language shaped by latin. I have to say latin helps my french, but I’d not expect to be as fluent in it as a result of latin as I would with spanish and italian.

As to romanian, look at the name. It was one of the fronier provinces used as a pension plan/buffer zone. They sent retired legionaires there to be landowners.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I’d forgotten the rose petal thing. Honestly, the sheer level of complete nonsense spouted by Frothy, and how obvious it is that he’s trolling (for lulz and not just out of sexism) makes me genuinely curious as to why David hasn’t banned him yet.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Pecunium — re: Romanian, I knew I should be able to muddle through it in theory, it was just hilarious to go “wait, wtf language are these instructions in, because I get the gist of it” — being Ikea level simple probably helped some too.

And sleep? Who needs sleep, I have a violin piece to figure out (yes, I just spent another 15 min in frikken’ 6th position, but hey, at least that means I’m working out where the hell my hands belong to make this work!)

…non-Spanish Slavic languages? You mean the ones that use Cyrillic which should make perfect sense because that’s the same alphabet as Spanish? XD Tangentially, I had to find an Internet pronunciation guide to convince my father that it isn’t cry-lic (like acrylic) but cyr-illic…you’d think that’d be obvious!

Whataboutthemoonz — it’s EA’s Dominant that’s killing my hands, the violin part is no where near as simple as it sounds (actually, idk about Enchant, but nothing on Opheliac is remotely simple, it’s like she just enjoys milking her e-string for all it’s worth cuz she can >.< )

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Wtf rose petals? One of the many pointless attempts to prevent one from catching the plague?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

It was something to do with Europeans not bathing back in the day, and someone supposedly having told him that people dealt with this by shoving rose petals up their noses.

(I guess that would have made the people of the time literal mouth-breathers.)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

That makes very little sense, but this is the Naïf we’re talking about here. And mouth breathers with very squeaky voices, amazingly, plague masks seem more dignified (well, until your skin starts to decay, gangrene is entirely undignified

emily isalwaysright
emily isalwaysright
11 years ago

SURELY that last one is a fake??!!??

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I have hay fever, so just thinking about it makes me want to sneeze.

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