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“Nice Guys” on parade

NG1

So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.

Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.

It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid  that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.

The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine —  and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.

Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:

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clairedammit
clairedammit
11 years ago

Pecunium, what is the origin of your nym?

Also, everyone, here is some cuteness. I already knew I loved dik-diks and now I want a sand cat. http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/2012/12/top-25-zooborns-of-all-time-cute-by-the-numbers.html

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

I also see the Terror of the Pubes put us over 1,000.

May they find themselves naked, harvesting the plants from which the smoothest, strongest, silkiest of bast fibers are made. Then may they be given a hot bath, and scrubbed with a loofah.

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

Clairedammit: I needed a name for a blog to record my sojourn in the desert (OIF-1, 2003). I was thinking of it, and remembered the fund a roman slave was allowed to keep for the purchase of freedom. Either I misremembered it, or the writer speaking of it miswrote it, and so I chose this name, not Peculium.

But it’s also why the subhead on my blog(s) is, “better than salt money”.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Argenti

I am lucky. I feel no need to curse my rapist, because I got to make him cry. (He also claimed I made him stop believing in love. He was probably being dramatic, but if he wasn’t, GOOD!) Also, unless he has changed drastically for the better (and really, I hope he has, because it means he’s less likely to repeat offend), he is probably exactly where we left him: a lonely, passive miserable leech.

danielleparadis
11 years ago

Love your stuff!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

OMG more wonderful film titles and then a cross my legs and hide under the desk IUD conversation! And one that ties in all too well with what I thought of on the tram (yes, I am a sad person who thinks about this stuff while commuting) – Pube Terror: the Terror of the Tongs.

I was lucky with BC, only had to be on a couple of pill varieties over the years. Quit taking them eventually because in contrast to what they’d done all that time (ie. late teens to mid thirties) they started killing off the libido. It wasn’t a problem in the sense of a relationship – Mr K and I weren’t together at that stage – but the surge of WHOO energy had always prompted my best writing, sewing, drawing or whatever.

Now the Red Menace has gone into perimenopause and is trying to do a rehash of puberty, which pisses me off mightily. I do NOT need cramps that go from waist to ankles or a completely haywire schedule, thankyouverymuch, hormones.

dumbassapostrophe
dumbassapostrophe
11 years ago

“He also claimed I made him stop believing in love.”

Oh that’s rich. You must felt soooooo sorry for him when he told you that. What is UP with some people?!

@clairedammit
Glad to be of service! Come again the next time a German grammar-related need should arise (I won’t be holding my breath).

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Slightly belated welcome, dumbassapostrophe!

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: dumbassapostrophe

I did a little dance and cackled. Oh yes, I was incredibly sympathetic.

dumbassapostrophe
dumbassapostrophe
11 years ago

Thank you! You guys should just call me dumbass for short. Wait…maybe that’s not such a good idea…

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL! Or dumbasswho’snothinglikeDumbasstheYapper. Which would be a tad-time consuming. 😛

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

LBT — lol, that is rather excellent (well, as excellent as anything involving a rapist can be) — I can almost picture that though “you made me stop believing in love!” *LBT dies laughing*

Pecunium — pecunia vs peculium.

So idk what you did, Pecunium is a word, almost, meaning money even, but it’s first declension female, while -um is a male ending.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

We have one Dumbass the Dumb already, apostrophe maybe?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I looked at ‘dumbassapostrophe’ in the middle – like ‘assapostrophe’ – and started wondering if it’s related to a catastrophe.

dumbassapostrophe
dumbassapostrophe
11 years ago

Yeah, apostrophe works pretty well. Better than dumbass at least, though it wouldn’t be the first time anyone’s called me that.

As for this thread’s own pet dumbass, have you guys finally managed to scare him off? Or is he just regaining his strength so that he can come back with more trollish force than ever before?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“Or is he just regaining his strength so that he can come back with more trollish force than ever before?”

Unfortunately, it’s probably that one. He does this, he’ll be dumb and then come back and act like this never happened, hence the frustration with him.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Unless David sees it and notices how many calls for banning there’ve been. The Chihuahua has long since worn out his welcome – and I mean troll-style chew toy welcome.

dumbassapostrophe
dumbassapostrophe
11 years ago

Re: catastrophe

My sister found these keychains on Etsy that were crocheted to look like cat butts and gave them to a friend of hers to put on the communal bathroom keys at his office. People stopped hoarding those keys pretty quickly.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

OMG that’s perfect!

And I see they’re still on offer! 😀

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago

pecunium

I looked up the thread you said something Aramaic in. Took me a while.

http://manboobz.com/2012/11/02/the-thinking-housewife-in-the-wake-of-sandy-why-are-new-yorkers-dressed-so-drably/

My Aramaic/English dictionary says it ( מֵאַרְעָא) means “from the land” so I don’t see how thats an insult.

As to guessing at your ethnicity, I can see why thats insulting. But it still leaves me wondering about celebrating Christmas in January, besides groups who use the Gregorian calendar.

As to the snark, and being condescending, I’ll take what you said as constructive criticism, and I’ll not talk to you that way in the future.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Link to the cat-butt key thingies? I am not an Etsy person.

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

Your dictionary lacks some of the contextual usages, it can also mean, to be lost. So you don’t actually speak it, you can decipher it, somewhat.

As to your guess, I’m not insulted, but your ignorance is showing again. Looking at that thread, I’d forgotten just how ignorant/stupid you were, ab initio

The problem with your not talking to me (and one might assume others in the future) is just how much ill-will you’ve used up. When I am being as harsh with someone, as I am being with you; and as thoroughly as I am being with you, it’s a pretty good bet no one has any gentle feelings toward you.

Why? Because as rude, clueless, ham-handed and offensively condescending as you have been to me (I say offensive because condescension isn’t all bad… the original meaning of the word was more a sense of nobless oblige) as you have been with me, you have been with everyone else.

And you’ve been dishonest. Its like posting on a messege board where everyone but yourself is a troll. Contextually that was directed at all of us.

Married to your comments on enjoying the manipulating, and how you are too smart to be overt about it, and the ways you drop the ball on things (like the cultural history of N. African Arabs means of hygiene, or the requisite need of women to groom themselves to what you think the norm ought to be… never mind that you aver you were reared in some part of Asia).

That’s what really did you in. Not the assholish behavior, but the intellectual laziness,married to an unwarranted pretension to superiority and completely tone-deaf way of reading the crowd.

People skills are not your forte.

princessbonbon
11 years ago

The Chihuahua has long since worn out his welcome

Hey now, Chihuahuas are adorable and cuddly. At least mine is.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Yeah, it was a gamble using any type of dog as a comparison! A bad-tempered Chihuahua was the smallest, yappiest irritant with a bad case of Small Dog Syndrome that came to mind. Jack Russells were there too, but then any dog breed has the gorgeous ones and the yapyapyapyapyap ones.

Maybe he’s like a mozzie (skeeters to you lot across the pond) – all that whining noise floating around your ear.

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