So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
The Wire, brilliant show. The fate of newspapers would not be so glum if people just listened to the show’s creator, former Maryland police reporter, David Simon. And yes, little man, indeed.
Pelvic* floor pain. Heya dumbassapostrophe! Sorry you can’t sleep 🙁
I was wondering what you had done to your floor to make it a. sentient and b. ouchy.
Sentient floors seemed like a good idea at the time, but I guess they don’t like being endlessly stepped on. Live and learn I guess!
Hi! Thanks for the concern, it’s just stupid jetlag. Things should hopefully get better by tomorrow.
I bet you were wearing the high-heeled boots of feminist oppression, too.
XDDD
The spiral thing is easy to undo if you have photoshop/gimp/etc. If you really want to protect these, er, individuals’ piracy, a black box over the face will do the job.
Viscaria: The insertion is a problem for some, not for others. Once it’s in, it’s smooth sailing. All the women I’ve known (lovers and not) say it’s the best choice the made, re BC. That partner and I used pretty much every method (save the pill, she was afraid she’d screw the regimen) available, prior to the IUD (Depo, nuva-ring, diaphragm, condoms, the patch) before she went for the IUD.
It was worth it, and her periods on it were nil.
@Viscaria
Are you getting the copper one or the hormonal IUD?
Hey there dumbassapostrophe! Is a Dumbass Apostrophe anything like a grocers’ apostrophe?
Hormonal 🙂
Thanks Pecunium, that’s comforting. Everyone I know who has one is extremely happy they do. Plus, 1 time BC that covers you for 5 years? That’s pretty awesome. I’m just the anxious type.
Viscaria: It’s also the worst the first time.
Ugh, Viscaria : ( Yeah, my first go-around on the pill did not go well, but I recently took it for a couple of years, low-dose, for cycle symptoms. Thankfully I’ve mostly had partners who were fine with condoms, because seriously those are the least problematic of anything I’ve used over the years. Why does all the birth controls have to be so troublesome??
Come to think of it, the fact my Current Ex was sure he wanted no offspring, yet refused to either wear a rubber or get snipped should have been a big red flag before we got together….
@clairedammit
Yeah, that’s one of the ways you can add a superfluous apostrophe. The other thing people do is use them in possessives, because it’s like no one can remember that you only do that in English. *grumblegrumblekidsthesedays*
The Wire, so so so good.
Too funny! I learned something about German punctuation today. 😀
Gah. I feel so blessed that the uterus has never given me much trouble and I haven’t needed BC. D: (And yes, I know that it’s a lifesaver for many people. I just have issues with medical crap.)
The pill made me so miserable that I wanted an IUD, but the doctor refused to give me one on the grounds of me not having had kids yet (what?) and that since I had heavy periods at the time it might make them worse.
I would totally dump anyone who was all “I never ever wants kids but I refuse to take any of the options available to me to make sure that doesn’t happen because that’s your job, honey”.
@Cassandra, I don’t know what I was thinking : P Beside, you know, “Oh, he’s just being controversial” + pantsfeelings *blergh* Little did I know….
Hi dumbassapostrophe! At least you didn’t typo your nym! (Mine’s Latin and should’ve been Argenti Aetheri but I’d been using it for ages where I spotted the rogue R so I decided to keep it)
Pecunium, and any other Latin fans, how obvious is my idiotic typo btw?
Pantsfeelings have a way of leading you to overlook things that would otherwise be glaringly obvious sometimes.
RE: heathenbee
It’s okay. The rapey asshole I was stuck with plugging for sex without condoms, because of how super-special-close such sex would naturally be, and that likelihood of pregnancy was really so terribly low long as I handled birth control myself.
Very glad he never succeeded. (I have relatives who were teenaged single parents and I was a product of abstinence ed. I was one PARANOID little fucker.)
“I was one PARANOID little fucker.” — it isn’t paranoia if the fear is founded, which, unlike the MRAs, yours was.
Also, fuck all the rapey assholes of the world. To combine curses, may the fleas of 1,000 camels infest their crotches, may they be swapped twice, and may their every step be filled with Legos.
This goes for all the rapey assholes, not just LBT’s.
Argenti, not so very. It looks poetic license enough that it’s not horrid. I made an error of memory with mine, and it changed the meaning, so we both screwed up with the latin in our names.