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“Nice Guys” on parade

NG1

So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.

Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.

It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid  that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.

The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine —  and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.

Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:

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Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago

All I do is insult people? Take offensive stances? Maybe if you bothered to read what I wrote, you would see that I usually present a nuanced view on each topic.

Nope. I post on topic till someone flame-baits the conversation, and makes it a personal attack against me.

And about trying to fit in? No. I couldn’t care less. You mistake civility for trolling.

hrovitnir
hrovitnir
11 years ago

Halite, those pictures are awesome! All the Bostons and Frenchies I’ve seen have been built very differently, but I haven’t seen heaps! Google shows me more similarity than I have experienced. Cool to know they’re closely related! They look a bit proper ABDA pit bulls and staffies in difference to me.

EG: Boston and Frenchie: http://www.dogencyclopedia.org/boston%20terrier.jpg
http://animal-world.com/dogs/Non-Sporting-Dog-Breeds/images/FrenchBulldogWDN_Ap6D.jpg

SBT and APBT: http://dims.vetstreet.com/dims3/MMAH/resize/645×380/quality/90/http://s3.amazonaws.com/assets.prod.vetstreet.com/66/01e5c0a80811e0a0d50050568d634f/file/Staffordshire-Bull-Terrier-4-645mk062811.jpg

http://d988256.u38.infinology.net/images/yodaharnessed.jpg

I have way better pictures at home. *mutter mutter*

heathenbee
heathenbee
11 years ago

C’mon, Diogenes, you love it here. This is classic narcissistic attention-baiting. You have so little regard for others for their own sake you couldn’t be bothered conducting mutually-pleasing discourse. What gets you off is being the center of attention while you can simultaneously get your self-aggrandizing fantasies stroked, and feed your insatiable desire to achieve victim status by provoking even the nicest people to lose patience with you. Getting a whole thread of people to spend hours and hours in agro-reaction for your passive-aggressive amusement must feel like a very satisfying day’s work.

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago

timetraveler

Thats the type of post that doesn’t accomplish anything.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

heathenbee wins an internet!

Halite – am ded of cuuuuuuuuteness!

Some Gal Not Bored at All
Some Gal Not Bored at All
11 years ago

@timetravellingfool

Oh, I wouldn’t bet he’ll stick it, just that’s he’ll officially claim to be leaving instead of just falling silent. I’ll take what I can get.

heathenbee
heathenbee
11 years ago

“I post on topic till someone flame-baits the conversation, and makes it a personal attack against me.”

What I said. Pure, blatant, grade-A bullshit.

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

Naïf: I don’t owe anyone here anything. Lets get that clear.

This from the dude who tried to impose rules of debate.

And you do owe people here, as everywhere something. It’s called common courtesy. If you aren’t sure what it is, ask your rebbe. To quote Hillel, “Do not do unto others what you would not have done to yourself,” and, “Love your neighbour as yourself (though the write of that piece misunderstands the Christian position, it’s otherwise an apt piece).

So, you’re not entitled to my time, my acknowledgement, or anything else. I figure that I have every reason to match my tone to how others here talk to me.

You clueless twist. You’ve been rude, arrogant, ignorant, insulting, and presumptive. People here have been matching their tone to you; and being more gentle and polite than your witless efforts deserve. We don’t want your time, but if you insist on inserting yourself, we will, by God, hold you to account for the things you have said, and it is our perogative, to challenge you to answer for your previous fuckwittery.

If you don’t like it, well then suck it up, because you choose to come here, and the community here has norms, and standards. That you choose to violate them means you choose to suffer the consequences.

Accepting that is what adults do. Whining, and petulantly engaging in posturing and foot-stamping that, “no one can make you” is childish.

Passive aggressive taunts like the one you tossed-off at me only make it more plain that you are lacking in much by way of maturity. It also show a sense that you are violating norms. You didn’t say, “I choose not to,” no, you said, “which ones?”. I’ve seen that game played before. You know there are a lot of open questions. You know you’ve not answered them, and you know that to try is to get your miserable attempts at argument shredded, so you demand to know which of them you have to answer to meet the requirements; in the hope that will get you off the hook for the rest.

We have paid attention to your arguments. Your lack of response to the rebuttals is what gets you the attention you don’t like. Grow up. You have admitted to trolling (“I enjoy the manipulation,” and, “do you think I’d be that overt”.) We read what you say. We’ve done this dick dance before (with bigger, and better dicks than you have so far proven to be). Your junior league at this.

When you get hammered you don’t continue the debate, you drop it. You did it with the “bible is divine” shit (and the attendant bullshit about what makes for religion). You did it with the personal grooming in this thread. You do it every time you are losing.

The level of discourse here is fine. What we are trying to do to raise it is to either get you to participate honestly, or get the fuck out.

Do you need me to make any of that more plain?

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Maybe if you bothered to read what I wrote, you would see that I usually present a nuanced view on each topic.

That is the biggest pantload I’ve heard today. You wouldn’t know nuance if it shaved and sat on your face.

timetravellingfool
11 years ago

“I usually present a nuanced view on each topic.” Yes, you present all the nuances of entitled misogynistic man-child. You have an attention seeking setting, a pouty victim setting, and, my favorite for being the most transparently absurd, a sanctimonious setting. And then you hit reset and do all those again. is it time for another cry break yet?

heathenbee
heathenbee
11 years ago

Oh hey, I win 😀

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago

Oh, an internet diagnosis. Those are always accurate!

Truth be told, I’d rather have a forum conversation with any one person, but they’re always dead (the forums).

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

hrovitnir, those Boston and French Bully shots are great for showing the difference – I can see how much lighter built the Boston is now.

And that Staffy is gorgeous!

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

“Nope. I post on topic till someone flame-baits the conversation, and makes it a personal attack against me.”

Huh. I don’t remember David ever posting about the Voynich Manuscript.

“And about trying to fit in? No. I couldn’t care less. You mistake civility for trolling.”

Hmm. Feigned innocence with a denial chaser to wash it down. *Yawn*

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

(I just had to teach my spellcheck the word penis. Who programmed this thing’s dictionary?)

A misandrist! 😛

@Diogenes The Crap

Are you sure you’re not related to SunshineMary? They kept whining about how ‘polite’ and ‘civil’ they were being too…

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

We have torrrented Once Upon a Time, so I shall watch it and spin. I’ll be back.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Diogenes: you think you’d fare better in the forum? Even more modded and less tolerant of fuckery. Good luck, chump.

Some Gal Not Bored at All
Some Gal Not Bored at All
11 years ago

@hellkell

Lol. That claim of his is right up there with earlier when he disclaimed the very cynicism he named himself after.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
The Kittehs' Unpaid Help
11 years ago

You wouldn’t know nuance if it shaved and sat on your face.

It should sit on his face without shaving. Then he’d die of Pube Terror.

hippodameia8527
hippodameia8527
11 years ago

Diogenes thinks he’s polite –
And hey! He’s both cis-male AND white!
So why won’t we play?
Shithead troll,go away,
you’re annoying, and boring, and trite.

clairedammit
clairedammit
11 years ago

Diogenes, why are you here? Nobody wants you here. You’re not posting reasonable arguments, you’re posting stupid ones, but you’re too stupid to realize how superficial and clueless they are. Just go away already.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

MREnglish : “nuance” now means “my penis and my ego both have strong feelings about this topic that I don’t actually know anything about, and that needs to be taken into account”.

timetravellingfool
11 years ago

… Everyone here is telling you to get lost and you imagine you can engage people in the forums? How deep do your self delusions go?

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Kitteh, “Pube Terror” the movie! Now in 3-D !

Some Gal Not Bored at All
Some Gal Not Bored at All
11 years ago

@Creative Writing Student

I’ve also had to teach it cursing, so it was a CIVIL misandrist.

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