So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
Okay. Good. I am much more the fun police to my cat. The Kitteh’s Unpaid Warden? Lol.
LOL that’s probably how they see us! Like that cat’s diary vs dog’s diary thing that does the rounds.
Yessssss staffy. <3
Bostons are smaller, finer, have an upturned terrier-y face. French Bulldogs are basically bulldog shaped but the elbows aren't so bad. Not a lot taller but about twice as wide and are bracychephalic, ie: have a smooshy face.
An intermittant client of ours has a b&w Boston and French Bulldog. Adorableness.
Oh and how you LOOK being a part of "perfect sex" does not compute in my brain. Whatever works I suppose but it just sounds like their conception of perfect is performative rather than just enjoying what they're doing. 🙁
@ Viscaria
A geek dude explained this to me once (possibly here?). You see, fake geek women fake being geeks so that men will give them attention and stuff, because geek men are easy marks. Also they enjoy turning men on just to toy with the men’s emotions, because that’s how women are.
So yeah, it does seem to be a NWO adjacent sort of theory.
@Cassandra: I don’t know if I can really speak for dudes here but if I were a lonely geek guy and there were beautiful women at conventions dressed as my fave geek characters I’d probably think “Awesome!”.
I thought it was like this — geek is a human designation. Women aren’t human, they are Other. Ergo, they can’t be geeks. But otherwise, they’re afraid of mainstreamers infiltrating their world and taking their milk money.
I now have a terrible image of a geek gathering populated largely by senior milking machine technicians.
Owwww, weird, Kitteh. 😉
You’re telling me … I need brain bleach!
http://youtu.be/ESClLwPUaOc
When I was dilapidated (2003 I was sick as ever could be. I’d lost a lot of weight, and moved like an old man), my partner was afraid she was going to break me if we made love.
I told her not to worry, if it was too much, I’d stop.
It was perfect.
I moved like an old man because everything hurt.
When Mr K and I were having sexytimes in a rainstorm and looking like the proverbial drowned rats, it was perfect.
In terms of troll relations, I favor the condescending snark. As you can see with our least favorite boomerang troll, it really irks insecure men.
Pecunium, that’s so romantic.
Cassandra – it’s like patting a kid on the head with a “what a clever little man” comment.
Maybe we just need a cut-and-paste reply to him, lol.
@ Nat
My old cat did that too, except that it was the boyfriend’s ass that he jumped on in an attempt to “defend” me. Or maybe he just found the repetitive motion intriguing.
Also, is anyone else here on Jezebel? Frothy is starting to remind me of an old troll from there (skahammer) who was apparently under the impression that he could change the direction of feminism and make it more complaint with the “needs” of men who feel entitled to sex by trolling any conversation about sex on Jez. Could be the same guy, or could be that delusional minds think alike just as often as great ones.
Compliant, dammit. I can type, honest.
I suspect it’s a new mind in an old rut.
@CassandraSays
Damn that sounds creepy. I do think delusional minds think alike though. Did anyone see the list of 15 guys that show up in every feminist comment section? Pandagon did a thing on it. I’ll see if I can find it.
@CassandraSays
You ought to tighten the tin-foil on your hat if you think I am someone else. I am, and always have been Diogenes The Cynic.
Phrothy the Phollicle Phobic
okay, post-lunch sillies have arrived
It’s 14, not 15, but here it is:
http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/the-14-kinds-of-sexist-commenters-20120607-1zyii.html
If I’d remembered it was still the top story on Pandagon, I woulda just grabbed it in the first place. (For those interested, Amanda Marcotte expands on a handful of them.)
Maybe he was raised to believe he was a special snowflake. Then he went out into the world and is convinced that his unlikeability is nothing more than jealousy — or a misunderstanding of his genius.
Or maybe he just gets off making women mad (yeah, even though some of the regulars are fellas).
Naïf: Have you got answers to the things people have been asking you?
Or is this another round of, “I’ll just pretend nothing happened,”?
Or as was suggested yesterday, is too cheap to find himself a professional dom to hand him his ass on a plate.