So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
talacaris: Does anybody know?. Anyway, how long must it have existed as oral history before it was written down (or never been written down. Good luck with that!). How accurate does it have be? Is some minor inconsistencies fine?
If no one knew then I couldn’t pose the question.
It’s an event, singular in time, recorded in oral histories, not recorded in any permanent form until that culture related it to another culture which had written records; and accurate dating.
It’s an event which can be traced to a single day. The specific day can’t be identified, but the dating can be ascertained to a detail sufficient to set the duration of the record.
lumi: I’ve spindled alpaca, but I’ve not moved it to the wheel, because I am, on a wheel, more of a worsted spinner, and anything smoother/denser than semi-worsted makes it really hard handed.
On a spindle I am semi-worsted, but the rate of twist is less, and so it’s easier to make it a softer finish, with more loft.
I’m working on woolen/open semi-worsted with some romney now, and then I’ll test-bed some alpaca-tussah. I have a partner who crochets,and is allergic to wool, so I got 34 oz., of various alpaca fibers for Christmas. I am eager to spin them up.
I was at DLI for class RU-44/93 (03SEP93-04SEP94) in F Co, up the behind the hill.
Naïf: I’m not equating not shaving with not bathing as hygiene, but as a social norm.
And you are wrong. You are externalising your preferences. Yes, I accept there is a social ideal presented of the smooth and flawless woman, but that doesn’t make it a norm.
I don’t see the purpose of being bombastic. Or rude. Or really anything loud. Don’t expect that from me.
I’ve come to expect it of you, because you have been so to me.
It means “I am for my beloved, and my beloved is for me.”
Duh… If you didn’t notice I was riffing on that, and asking Hillel’s question, “If I am not for myself who is for me, if I am only for myself what am I?”
Do try to keep up.
My best guess is the battle of Troy. I don’t know if it occurred on a single day, but it existed as a legend, and in poem until someone dug up the city.
And you are wrong.
It was an asteroid strike in Australia. When the English followed the descriptions of the strike to the place it was said to have happened they found the remains (some distance beneath the ground).
The dating puts it more than 10,000 years ago.
How this ties into entitlement, I will never understand.
By being an asshole you forfeit certain expectations of response. You have, repeatedly, been an asshole. You stink up a thread, abandon it (often after insulting the people in it) and then move to another thread as if nothing had happened. Sometimes you don’t even bother to leave the thread to do it.
@precunium- Now I am fascinated and want to know! I feel like there is a trick here that I am missing somehow and that the answer is actually painfully obvious.
And now that I know the answer, that is SUPER neat! Yay for oral histories!
HI OTHER BEE : D!!!
@TTF, my pleasure : )
@Argenti, hi back at ya! And yes, you nailed it, the gas-lighting has been epic.
i don’t know why, but whenever Pecunium shows up on a thread I feel guilty for being as mean to trolls as I have. I think it’s because you remind me of my dad.
BTW… this strange thing known as social interaction, was a lot of fun. People sat around and talked, and played with the toddler, and were pleased by the gift of yarn. There was coffee, and juice and eggs, and Guinness cake, and rum and popovers and pretzel brioche with chocolate chips and more conversation and hugs and a good time.
ttf: I often realise I have been too well-mannered with the jerkwads. I somehow trust them to understand just how much I am talking to them as if they were children, or ignorant fools who weren’t properly civilised by their parents.
Heathenbee — in my attempt to catch up I failed to say that I’m sorry you went through that, and am now sorry for my oversight >.<
And thanks to hrovitnir for answering my ginger kitty gender question!
Ahaha, it’s probably the talking to trolls like children that makes you remind me of my dad. No, your troll throwdowns are epic- never change.
Oral history for the win. That’s awesome.
Last post directed at pecunium, btw~!
Oh for heaven’s sake, Argenti, I didn’t notice ha ha! I can’t believe you read all the way back : )
ttf: Thanks, I am not likely to. I yam what I yam (though I’m more than I yam), and it’s that I was reared to be a civilised creature which makes me treat them so.
But I’m amused that take it for, “riled up”. They have no idea what I’m like when I’m angry.
cloudiah: I love finding out and sharing such things; you are very welcome.
pecunium: I think your niceness is perfect. I love reading you crushing trolls with inexorable logic. 😀
heathenbee: my sympathies also you got sucked into that. Good for you getting out and recognising the evil bees.
“i don’t know why, but whenever Pecunium shows up on a thread I feel guilty for being as mean to trolls as I have. I think it’s because you remind me of my dad.”
Like some awesome ethical dad that is. I’m more like awestruck at the awesome myself.
Pecunium — I’m much nicer to children, they really don’t know better.
“Oh for heaven’s sake, Argenti, I didn’t notice ha ha! I can’t believe you read all the way back : ) ”
Fleshy life is pissing me off, I was a nice distraction!
“No, your troll throwdowns are epic- never change.”
Seconding this!
I favor a more scorched earth policy–if they’re gonna come in here and shit all over our nice rug, fuck ’em.
hellkell: I try to complement that. Some scorched earth, some scorn and disdain,etc.
I am amazed at those who keep coming back once they have worn out all welcome.
@ Argenti- My dad is an ethical awesome dad. I lucked out.
Pecunium: I like your style. Yeah, I can’t believe they come back either, and have the nerve to say they aren’t entitled asswaffles.
TTF – mine is not, I have some envy for you. Mine is not to the point that Pecunium’s requested to never meet him, lest it get nasty.
True story, I follow hellkell around with an armful of extra internets just in case.
+10 “asswaffles”