So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
I looked up what a “Staffy” was and found this:
http://hackneycitizen.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/staffies-dogs-001.jpg
DAAAAAAAAW!
Also, I made this:
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/32993537.jpg
@atomicgrizatomicgrizz
timetraveling
Ok, I think I see the disconnect here.
I’m not equating not shaving with not bathing as hygiene, but as a social norm.
@ Cynic- you have nothing to debate. You haven’t made a rational point. You have been repeatedly shown to be just a whiny entitled asshat and you chose to ignore it. And, no, you made this about you. When shown unequivocally to be wrong, others might have slunk away, perhaps taken something constructive from this. You just ramble on with idiotic responses that I can only assume you take for rebuttals. If you imagine any of women’s grooming habits beyond basic hygiene are obligatory or any business of yours, you are both wrong and showing evidence of a hurtful and objectifying view of women. Now, did you eat that bag of dicks I sent you earlier?
@atomicgrizzly
Yay to both! Diogenes could inspire so many fun meme things!
@everyone
Sorry about the too-early, wacky post. My screen decided to jump around and apparently my fingers landed on submit. Sometimes I miss using a real computer for typing, but I sucked at speech-to-text and the keys hurt my fingers. (This is also why I am really sorry about all the other typos.)
Related: has anyone here installed a different browser on a Kindle Fire? I feel like that would help a lot, but I am non-rationally scared of clicking “yes” on allowing non-vetted apps.
The word for making someone poor is impoverish.
@Dio-genes Holy Cynic Diver
“I’m not equating not shaving with not bathing as hygiene, but as a social norm.”
That’s also a problem. Not bathing is unhealthy for the person and unpleasant for everyone around them.
A woman not shaving her legs doesn’t affect her (besides saving her time in the bath/shower). The only people it affects are the men who look at them and say “Ew, that’s not lady like because I was raised from birth to believe that women need to act a certain way or be shunned.”
@atomicgrizzly
I have a Staffie. (Unfortunately, I have no photos on this computer. 🙁 ) She’s very cute and loving, but she destroys any toy that isn’t Kong-level of terrier-proof.
@ Cynical Asshat- The disconnect is in your perception of yourself as a rational, civil human being. And you don’t get to take that one back. Yes, you showed yourself to be wrong, unfair, and insulting when you made the comparison of unshaven legs on Women to unbathed persons. No, there isn’t a person out there who would believe it was an innocent mistake on your part. You meant to equate unshaven legs with something disgusting. And no one is going to take your misdirection seriously. The idiotic comment about social norms imposed on women’s personal grooming habits for the sexual pleasure of men remains as idiotic as it was when you first made it.
@Creative Writing Student
Dawwwww! I love big dogs! My girlfriend’s sister has a boxer who is just a huge loveable blockhead. I’ve seen her get the crap kicked out of her by my girlfriend’s little nephews and she doesn’t even flinch. Such a big sweetie!
Funny. I seem to recall you being extremely rude and offensive on several occasions. Are you operating in the tone-troll headspace where telling a person that they should suck up the nasty shit they’ve experienced because someone else appeared to have sucked it up and that if they don’t do that they’re bitter and just hurting themselves is not offensive, but saying “fuck” is? Typical.
@whataboutthemoonz
The last time I touched a shaving razor was nigh on a decade ago, aka my entire adult life. The only things I’ve used razors for are dissections (never try to cut through a pigeon’s flight muscles with a dull razor!) and cutting slide labels.
For the education of the naif:
I’ve never shaved since I became sexually active and shockingly no one has ever expressed horror about it or asked for a machete before performing cunnilingus. You are a flagrant idiot and a lazy lover; I feel profound sadness for anyone unfortunate enough to have sex with you.
And seriously, do you not think that pubic hair has an effect on fellatio?
The difference between failing to bathe and shaving one’s legs: a person who refuses to bath with strong body odor can make life intolerable for others*, whereas a woman who does not shave her legs is merely failing making herself fuckably attractive for general viewing.
*Seriously, I have a degree in math with a focus on comp sci. Some stereotypes are based in reality. I’ve met guys in my classes who could down a water buffalo at 20 paces. The computing lab, which was not designed to vent heat properly, was literally nauseating.
Is there a statement version of JAQing off? I feel we need the term for Diogenes. Something like Just Stating Trufax (JSTing, pronounced “justing”)?
@Diogenes the Naff
I have hairy legs! In my opinion, they are not hairy enough! And my pubes are neatly trimmed, but still a full bush!
Guess what – I am a clean, hygienic person, and I can receive oral sex! Lots of it. Oral sex is the best.
(Dammit, now I want oral sex.)
“And seriously, do you not think that pubic hair has an effect on fellatio?”
He needs a crash course of the anatomy of female genitalia.
“Dammit, now I want oral sex”
Who doesn’t? Besides probably Diogenes if women don’t meet his standards of womanliness…
@Atomicgrizzly
Staffies aren’t big – they’re large for terriers, but they can still fit on a lap quite comfortably. They’re very intelligent, affectionate and loyal, and very loving of children.
Oh man I have been away for a long time. But it looks like I came back for something interesting!
Re: Geek misogyny. I think also part of it comes from a geekish tendency toward nostalgia and an aversion to change. Most geeks have some part of their fandom that they will LOSE THEIR SHIT if they perceive it being fucked with (see, my friends and I ranting after seeing the Hobbit recently. What the hell is up with that hook-handed orc? What?). This is not necessarily a misogynistic thing, as it can be about character design, or re-vamping the canon, or anything at all, but it is a potential character flaw that geeky minds posses. When this tendency comes in line with the other factors that people are bringing up, it means that not only are these people invested for a number of reasons in a misogynistic culture, they also have a personality type that is really protective of what they perceive of as “ruining things” (how do ladies who love geekery ruin things? because HORES that’s why argleblargle).
In a lighter vein:
Or he needs to understand that a bit of hair won’t kill him. I can’t count the number of pubic hairs I’ve rescued from my vagina after sex. And really, that is a hell of a lot more intimate than the face or mouth. I’ve gotten stranger’s hair on my face/in my mouth quite a lot for how awful Dumbass is portraying it as being (women flipping long hair, in food). A non-stranger’s hair is just NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.
Also, @ Diogenes:
Bathing, working out at the gym, dressing well, and keeping a clean odor are all great. Most women do all that AND shave AND wear makeup AND depilate problem spots on their face (contrary to popular belief, lots of women have mustaches). Try again.
@ Some gal- Yeah, sex is messy and goofy, and a few stray hairs ending up in various places is really the LEAST of what can deviate from airbrushed, pornographic “perfection” (ugh).
@M Dubz
And many women shape their eyebrows, which is seriously hard and time-consuming. Remember the extreme close-ups of Palin and Obama, etc. during ’08? It really showed how much more work goes into being a properly made-up woman and how quickly the work needs to be redone.
@M Dubz
I think you’re right. They view their own subculture as consisting of only a certain kind of person, and they don’t think women can truly like the same things they do. They’re just “pretending” so they can seem cool. In this way they’re ruining the purity of their interests.
Kinda like what we were talking about regarding video games earlier, where women are only expected to enjoy a certain type of video game, and they can’t possibly ever honestly enjoy the others.
“And many women shape their eyebrows, which is seriously hard and time-consuming. ”
My girlfriends does this by plucking. I don’t know how she does it. I asked her to pluck out one of mine so I could feel it and I literally screamed. That shit stings.
@atomicgrizzly- From time to time, I thank the Lord that I was born with pretty well shaped eyebrows. I could never handle having to pluck mine on a regular basis; it hurts too much. And sometimes you bleed.
@ atomic- Haha, I know- that shit hurts!! I’m lucky in having pretty sparse eyebrows anyway, because man I would hate to have to do that.