So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
I will personally exorcise you, and buy you the drink of your choice afterwords.
“it reflects poorly on you when you mock my asshattery.”
Don’t do it, cloudiah! Your brain cells will atrophy!
“How dare you connect my sense of entitlement to my being male! The fact that you hate one entitled male asshat proves you hate all men! QED.”
I … feel unclean. Off to shower and cuddle kitties.
Simple minds oversimplify. You are a douche for behaving like a douche. You are a douche for thinking it’s ok to impose your sexual preferences on other women’s bodies. You are a douche for equating unshaven pubes with poor grooming and poor hygiene. You are a douche for going on at length in this vein despite numerous posters telling you why that attitude is shitty and that you are speaking in a crowd of people who find the attitude behind it offensive. You are a douche because you are entitled and refuse to acknowledge your entitlement. And you are a douche because you feel hard done by when everyone rightly calls you on your doucheyness. And there are so, so many other reasons why you are a douche, but these are all I feel like writing. Other posters have written more. If you can only handle one at a time, read slowly and take your time. but do read, and, most importantly, believe- you are a douche.
Atomic
Are you deliberately misframing what I said?
I didn’t mention the gender of the person who doesn’t shower for a week. You added that in your mind. and I compared a woman wearing shorts without shaved legs to an unwashed person.
Meaning, because it seems I have to spell it out for you, insofar as its socially frowned upon to not bathe and be in public, so too it is with shaving. You’re welcome to do either. The people around will still judge you.
Now, thats pointing out an obvious social viewpoint. Its hardly new to you, or offensive.
@atomicgrizzly
Thanks.
I barely play FPSs so I was really just the cusp of female gamers she and her collective (no joke, nothing wrong with collectives per se, just it is so identifiably the bad parts of second wave she exemplified) had problems with. She seemed not to understand that women weren’t new to gaming when The Sims was released.
“You can mock anything you want. But it reflects poorly on you.” Wow, now there is a man seriously lacking in self awareness- no sir, if you are doing something worthy of mockery, you’re the one that looks bad. And you are doing something worthy of mockery. And you do look bad.
“I compared a woman wearing shorts without shaved legs to an unwashed person.” Yes, we were there. It was a shitty and insulting comparison. We called you on it. But you seem to be impervious to shame. Must be a birth defect or something.
cloudiah, logic fail
timetraveler
Mature.
Don’t forget to shave your legs, Cloudiah!
Cynic- You’re the spoiled brat who is monopolizing a space you are not welcome. To say your concept of maturity is suspect would be an understatement bordering on absurdity.
timetraveler
Ok, what would you compare to not bathing for weeks?
I see someone like that as being impervious to social norms. Sure they can say “screw the norms” but society doesn’t go out of its way to embrace outliers. Thats why they’re outliers.
I’m wearing a short skirt and a tank top and I have no idea when the last time I even touched a razor was.
Suck it.
@Dio-gene Simmons the Cynic
“I compared a woman wearing shorts without shaved legs to an unwashed person.”
Yeah, that’s what I thought you said. Let me repeat what I said earlier to let it soak in:
Women can be perfectly healthy without shaving their legs for you to ogle at. They’re not dirty because they don’t dress like you want them to or shave their legs as often as you wanted to.
Go take your gender roles and shove em where the sun don’t shine.
“insofar as its socially frowned upon to not bathe and be in public, so too it is with shaving.”
Since when did Feminists care about escaping gender roles being “frowned upon?” The problem is that it’s frowned upon. We don’t want it to be that way. People shouldn’t judge women because they’re not turning men on sufficiently.
That still managed to sound like I’m dinging collectives. Let me try again. Collectives are stereotypically second wave. So is a lot of horrid women>men stuff and other bad things. The woman presenting was sterotypically second wave including collectives, but mostly that women are intrinsically more moral, better decision makers, likers of more awesome things, etc.
My having issues with this is further proof that I hate men!
– Diogenes The CYNIC
timetravel
I wasn’t the one who made this thread about me.
How about not putting me on the defensive, and insulting me, and engage me in rational debate instead?
Or are you that addicted to flame wars?
atomic
Thats the best articulated comment on this so far!
@ Cynical asshat- “Ok, what would you compare to not bathing for weeks?” That is the wrong question. The right question is ‘why is my comparison of unshaven legs to unbathed people insulting and wrong?” It is because, Dumbass Cynic, a woman who has not shaved her legs is no less unhygenic than a man who has not shaved his legs. Which is to say, not at all. And the absurdity of huffing about social norms on a site full of people who know many social norms are inherently sexist and need changing has got to be record breakingly stupid. Even for you, and you are all kinds of stupid. Seriously, are you trying to justify insulting women for not behaving the way you want them to? Go cry elsewhere, dumbass.
@Diogenes the Novelty Toy
From what I can see the main interests of the commenters here are Feminism, cute animals, and nerdy derails.
Some of us also like to see how quickly we can break the squeaker in a new troll, much like Staffies do.
Squeak! Squeak under our muscular jaws!
whatabout
I don’t care what you do. I don’t mean that in a rude way. I just don’t know you.
@Diogenes
Mocking has a place is rational debate. I’m reading the recent biography of Malcolm X and all his debates involved mocking. Awesome mocking. From both sides. So did the Lincoln-Douglas debates. You, yet again, have no idea what you are talking about. The mocking and insults are preventing you from seeing the points we’re making. That is your flaw, not ours.
@CWS
I just like the name, and because Diogenes once told Alexander The Great to fark off.