So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
@hellkell
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!
KITTY! KITTYKITTYKITTY!!!!!!!!! So cute.
@Some Gal
Well, I find The Sims better than GTA, although that’s just personal preference. I just don’t find random violence appealing. My violence must have meaning, which is why I had to set up a separate cemetery for townies and NPCs who annoyed the Great And Mighty Watcher.
[/bad person]
[/derail]
@Atomic
I can’t be the only guy who thinks that!
@hellkell
And this does what? Show how moral a person you are?
You’re not accomplishing anything by being rude. So, unless Futrelle asks me to stop posting, I will. Might as well grow beyond childish name-calling.
p.s. I might need some basic tutoring in how to play Pharoah. The only games I ever played growing up we’re the classic arcade games.
@atomicgrizzly
It was at an academic conference and I was so mad that I monopolized the Q&A, but only succeeded in making the presenter think I’d failed as a woman. Stupid love of GTA! *sarcastic grumbling*
“I get insulted, and as frustrating as it can be, rarely sink to the same level of those insulting me. Although some here are far from civil towards me, I don’t reciprocate their tone.” Waaah waaah waaah. Aww, the poor little muffin!! All he’s doing is showing up uninvited to express his offensive viewpoints and persisting in expressing them when he’s been told tyo shut up. And all the kids are soooo mean to him!! Oh, my heart bleeds for you, buddy, it truly does. Say, if you want to say shitty things and not be called on them, go talk to people who believe shitty things. There are a ton of dudes on Okcupid you seem to have a lot in common with.
“I demand the right to go where I’m not wanted, spout utter bullshit, be arrogant and condescending, and be treated with respect. How dare you call me entitled!!!”
“I can’t be the only guy who thinks that!” Well guess what- you’re not the only douchenozzle in existence either. Welcome to manboobz, a documentation of the thoughts of douchebags just like you.
“So, unless Futrelle asks me to stop posting, I will.”
David. Please.
It’s not at all childish to hang around the edge of a group of people who don’t like you and whine that they aren’t paying attention to you.
Creative Writing Student, I tend to torture my sims, and find creative ways to kill them off when I get bored. Must be my cuddly female nature.
@Creative Writing Student
I like both, but with my fibro pain, I can’t hold controllers anymore and I miss playing a lot of games on our consoles. (I can still design killer houses for my Sims so I guess I became a better feminist by default. 🙂 )
@Diobrando Za Warudo
Here’s an idea that doesn’t involve name calling. Don’t come onto a website and spout off things that are clearly idiotic or offensive.
Ideas are just ideas. They can be good or bad and they don’t deserve respect just because you said them.
timetraveling
But but but………..my fee-fees!
Think for yourself. The hivemind shouldn’t have this much influence on you.
@atomicgrizzly
But but but they are cynical, “intellectually honest,” poorly-researched ideas! Spouted off by a man no less! How dare we mock!
Offensive? Seriously?
You think I’m offensive? I’m too even mannered for that.
“You’re not accomplishing anything by being rude.” Aw, it seems you’re a bit confused as to your role here, Cynical Asshat. You’re a chew toy. Trolls drop by and troll along, and we sharpen our teeth on them. If your wittle feefees are getting hurt by the absolute tuning you are getting on this discussion, then you really ought to take your ball and go home. But if you want to stick around, super duper. Until you’re banned you get to hear in exquisite detail exactly how wrong you are and exactly why you suck. There are a lot of people out there like you, Cynical Douchebag, and if even one of them comes across these comments and learns from it, the world will be a better place.
“I like both, but with my fibro pain, I can’t hold controllers anymore and I miss playing a lot of games on our consoles.”
That really sucks. I’m sorry to hear that :(.
“It was at an academic conference and I was so mad that I monopolized the Q&A, but only succeeded in making the presenter think I’d failed as a woman. Stupid love of GTA! *sarcastic grumbling*”
If they hate GTA that much, just imagine if it was something like Street Fighter or Dragonball Z Budokai. You’d get crucified!
“I’m not offensive. You’re just letting the hivemind think for you.”
cloudiah, if thats how you interpret it, I seriously question your social skills.
timetraveler
I’m a douche for thinking its hard to please a women who isn’t groomed? Hmmmmmmm, its like you like to jump. And jump into things. Conclusion-like things.
Or even better: “I’m not offensive. You’re just incapable of rational thought.”
It makes me uncomfortable to channel someone so obtuse.
@Dio-genes Rainbow in the Dark the Cynic
A few pages back you said that women who wear shorts without shaving their legs are the same as women who haven’t showered for weeks. So YES, you are offensive.
Women can be perfectly healthy without shaving their legs for you to ogle at. They’re not dirty because they don’t dress like you want them to or shave their legs as often as you wanted to.
Go take your gender roles and shove em where the sun don’t shine.
Shut up, Cynic…
“But but but they are cynical, “intellectually honest,” poorly-researched ideas! Spouted off by a man no less! How dare we mock!”
-Some gal
I never claimed to belong to the cynical school of philosophy.
You can mock anything you want. But it reflects poorly on you.
And said by “a man” [!] Wow, that doesn’t sound hostile to men in general at all.
If his personality sticks to me, promise me you’ll hold an exorcism?