So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
Oh, hellkell, that is the ADORABLEST.
(Shut up spellcheck, that’s totally a word.)
@atomicgrizzly
It is so annoying when guys act like being female is something we should be able to control. And you’re so right about EVERYBODY there wanting attention and it is only a bad thing, or even a thing worth noting, when women do it.
timetravellingfool
Are you saying that if you’ve made an ass of yourself, you should continue doing so and not change?
@ Talacaris- huh?
@Some Gal Not Bored at All
Agreed. It seems so common in the gaming community. It’s no wonder it’s considered a guy’s activity. All you have to do is invoke the name of Anita Sarkeesan to stir up a boiling cauldron of hate.
Here’s the little dude riding in Mr. HK’s hood
Its not entitlement if you expect regular social interaction, and don’t get it. What I expect is reciprocation of my calm and respectful tone. That is not what I get here. And its not because I’m a misogynist.
I get insulted, and as frustrating as it can be, rarely sink to the same level of those insulting me. Although some here are far from civil towards me, I don’t reciprocate their tone.
So, no, its not entitlement.
Atomic
My baby sister doesn’t use a headset on xbox live anymore because once they figure out she’s a girl, they say inappropriate things. She got tired of hearing guys saying stuff like “show me your boobs.”
I have no clue what their motivations are.
Like we said, Dingleberry, your idea of regular social interaction is to barge where you are not wanted, for the millionth time. Why do you come here trying to get what you want? Ain’t gonna happen, son.
Take your “calm and respectful tone” and stick it up your ass. You don’t mean it, you’ve basically admitted to trolling, and you should be banned.
Oh, and your expectations are the very definition of entitlement, so piss off.
The definition of entitlement?
hellkell, you need a dictionary.
“I have no clue what their motivations are.”
I know how you feel. I have no idea what your motivations are for returning here again and again while complaining of your treatment in the same breath…unless your just a troll begging for attention.
No, Diogenes, I don’t need a dictionary. You need a fucking clue.
Shut up, Naif.
@Doigensenees the cyclical
I think you pretty much invalidated anything you have to say when you said “Oral is impossible on a woman who doesn’t trim well.” That’s… just comical.
It’s cute how he thinks he can roll in here and expect shit. If that’s not entitled…
hellkell
I think you ought to look up what entitlement means. You’re not using it correctly.
Shiraz
I have my motivations.
titanblue
Another cutting insult. How will I ever live with myself.
I posted more kitty, but it turned the page, it’s up top now. Brain bleach if you need it.
Dimbulb the Schmuck, I’m not gonna sit around and play dictionary with you. You’re so fucking smart, figure it out.
What are your motivations? Being told you suck? No one liking you? If so, GREAT SUCCESS.
“Its not entitlement if you expect regular social interaction,” Well there’s a doozy of an untruth. For starters, it’s entitlement if you expect any social interaction- no one owes you social interaction of any kind. Secondly, if you were a regular joe, you would probably be getting regular social interaction. You are not a regular here, you do not fit in, your views are offensive and you think you deserve the chance to tick every not for your own entertainment. That makes you an entitled asshole. We clear now, or do you need to take some time elsewhere and really meditate on that. All the time you need.
“It’s cute how he thinks he can roll in here and expect shit. If that’s not entitled…”
It’s like a creationist rolling into an anthropologist meeting and saying “Why don’t you respect my ideas?!”
Rine, lather, repeat…
@atomicgrizzly
My boyfriend is involved in the academic side of gaming and so I’ve heard all kinds of female gamer hate including from feminists who think that women’s games (like The Sims) are better than men’s games (like GTA) and that women who play men’s games are somehow failing as feminists or have been brainwashed into trying to fit in!! (Of course, I also got yelled at for referring to my friends as “girls” in the context of talking about our childhoods.) Nerd girls get a lot of hate from a lot of different camps.
*throws Megabloks at Diogenes. Sorry, dude, you’re not worth LEGO. And I’m feeling childish and bored.*
” including from feminists who think that women’s games (like The Sims) are better than men’s games (like GTA) and that women who play men’s games are somehow failing as feminists or have been brainwashed into trying to fit in!!”
I’ve never heard that before and I don’t ever think I could wrap my head around that logic.
I’m guessing it’s like saying “women can’t like sports. They only pretend to like sports to pick up men.”