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“Nice Guys” on parade

NG1

So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.

Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.

It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid  that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.

The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine —  and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.

Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:

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lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Well, probably. The area’s still technically under catastrophic fire danger, but at this point I wouldn’t put the odds of major fires up this way any higher than they’d be any other hot summer day.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

I can’t even imagine fire warnings, glad things are going well (other than the heat, 35’s about body temp right? *silly American*)

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Yep, roughly body temperature.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

The warnings were odd this time: media reports as per usual, but also the Rural Fire Service took over phone towers (not storming them or anything) and sent text messages to every mobile phone in the area and gave prerecorded warnings to all home phones around midnight last night. Would’ve scared the shit out of a few poor pensioners at least.

I’m not sure anything like that’d be possible in the US, or it would at least require the phone company’s cooperation. Would total fire bans (e.g., right now it is illegal to set any sort of fire outside anywhere in the state of New South Wales) be possible? Seems like something American law wouldn’t really do.

katz
8 years ago

Actually burn bans are a thing in the US, mostly because of inversion layers, but I think they’re usually city level.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

lowquacks, that’s such good news! It’s been trying to rain here, too, and I was really hoping you guys would get it up north.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

It’s city/county level here in Texas.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

@Katz

That’s interesting/good to know. Our fire bans tend to be on a regional level too – today’s statewide fire ban is mostly unprecedented and put in place because today looked like it was going to be a nightmare.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

And there is some sort of weather warning system, I’m not sure how it works, but there where many dinging cell phones when Sandy was approaching. I think it does require you to register or something though.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

Statewide ban’s slightly silly, actually, even in these conditions – NSW is larger than Texas and many parts are under little to no risk at the moment.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Glad you survived. Hope the lack-of-catastrophic-fires thing continues.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

It’s been bad in Tasmania the last few days – small rural towns burnt out and may not be able to recover, and I don’t know how many of the hundred-odd missing people have been heard from yet. These fires are hitting at what should be the height of the tourist season, too, and Tas depends a lot on that. Their economy’s going to be slammed by all this, and there’s a lot of unemployment in the state as it is.

pecunium
8 years ago

Naïf: So you are a coward, or a liar, or both.

Because you made a declarative statement. That means you have evidence, or you are full of shit. Telling me to wait until you get it is to posit the proof of a negative. If it never shows up, you can still pretend that you gave me an answer.

Bullshit. I have to assume that you have no evidence, and are; but the lack of substantive response, are ceding the point.

That, my little friend, is how debate and argument work. Put up, or shut up. It’s even formalised, not some “rule” I just pulled out of my ass.

If you have questions, talk to Argenti.

I stand by my statement, that oral is harder on a hairier woman.

There’s your problem oral is easier if you aren’t standing.

But trust me, you’re wrong. I’ve got lots of emprical evidence to the contrary. I even cited some for you, you could watch them, you might learn something new, which is that your statement, “Oral is impossible on a woman who doesn’t trim well,” is false, on it’s face.

pecunium
8 years ago

It sounds like dz = Ж.

But yes, all the individual maps are what the, “spanish” alphabet reduces. No, the phonemes aren’t the same, but the do have unique markers, as opposed to ways to transfer a set of phonemes from a language no one speaks any more, to one which had (and retains) phonemes which don’t exist in the parent language.

pecunium
8 years ago

Re Thatcher: When she goes Chumbawumba will be releasing a limited (pre-release subscription only) Song/EP (I forget which).

I plumped £5 for it. I don’t know if them breaking up means one can no longer subscribe, but they promise it will still be sent.

pecunium
8 years ago

by the lack of substantive response. Sheesh, this ear thing is fucking with my already less than perfect typing.

At least I can still spin.

Also, I had to go to work today, unexpectedly. Not the best of days.

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

I wonder if Elvis Costello will actually go through with dancing on her grave.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

lowquacks – he’d have to get in the queue.

Pecunium – don’t feed the troll!

heathenbee
heathenbee
8 years ago

“Actually burn bans are a thing in the US, mostly because of inversion layers, but I think they’re usually city level.”

In L.A. there is no outdoor burning (apart from BBQ’s etc). I’m in NorCal out in the stix now. We can do burn piles, but they’re banned during fire season. (And I’m painfully familiar with how things can get in fire country during fire season, stay safe, lowquacks.)

pecunium
8 years ago

The counties around the bay have a ban on burning, in toto (indoor fireplaces included). If a cop spots smoke, you can be cited.

heathenbee
heathenbee
8 years ago

“A guy can’t have his preferences? I’m sure you do.”

Clearly my elderly computer is also failing to post comments that you can see, unlike everyone else here. Either that or your brain is incapable of comprehending the difference between a preference and an obligation.

heathenbee
heathenbee
8 years ago

“And I broke parentheses and then a link, here’s that stray ) and the link — http://xkcd.com/1157/

*Note to self: never use aquarium water in the neti pot*

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

What’s the odds the troll is lying about lying about being a white cis man as well as everything else? He’s already contradicted (read: lied more than once) about innumerable topics, so this is likely just more attempts to get a reaction.

‘s funny you know, but the very first thing you see when you get Wiki’s article on oral sex is a picture from c. 1800 of a man doing cunnilingus on a woman who has *gasp* pubic hair.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

From now on every time he shows up looking for attention I’m going to post this.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I bet that’s just what he looks like, too.

pecunium
8 years ago

Now he was (past tense) a high school teacher…

Liar, and I begin to think sock.

Certainly he has been looking things up.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Yeah, the socky smell is getting stronger. Perhaps he thinks it’ll be a great coup.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

What, for us to say “Hi, Mr Al, You’re still banned” again?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I guess the smell of old socks is seasonal.

(Because that’s what Brussel sprouts smell like to me.)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Could be the other Boston brat though.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Maybe we should just call Brussel Dogsbreath.

OT, I’m reading a thread from last year about tattoos and it’s got some Owly classics in it. Makes me laugh because I was in my 40s when I got mine and my mum was in her 70s.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

*call him Brussel Dogsbreath

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Kind of a pity. If he were Mr Al, it’d mean one less douchebag in the world.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Ah, so the smell isn’t sock then, just asshole.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Skidmark the Troll.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I think this was before your time…

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Oh gawd yes, that idiot! He posted here a few times, didn’t he? Clarence or some such name.

Melody
8 years ago

So, many new comments.

Preference=/=obligation

I have many preferences, but many of them aren’t deal breakers.
I prefer no beards, but I won’t demand a guy not have one because it is my preference.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
8 years ago

Man, performing oral sex on hairy vulvae and wiping one’s ass… women are so demanding of impossible tasks.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Man, performing oral sex on hairy vulvae and wiping one’s ass… women are so demanding of impossible tasks.

Especially if required to do both at once!

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
8 years ago

@heathenbee I stopped using my neti pot after those guys in Louisiana died. They got brain parasites from their tap water! I didn’t feel like keeping distilled water around (although I may have to now if I can get myself to actually use my CPAP machine), so I stopped doing the neti thing altogether.

@Kittehs’ Help

‘s funny you know, but the very first thing you see when you get Wiki’s article on oral sex is a picture from c. 1800 of a man doing cunnilingus on a woman who has *gasp* pubic hair.

Lies! Cunnilingus was impossible until the 1970’s, when women* started shaving their pubes. I guess that piece I read about attitudes toward cunnilingus in classical Greece was a tissue of lies.

whataboutthemoonz
8 years ago

Cynic is a bastion of intellectual dishonesty and has repeatedly bragged in public about being here just to be a dick to people. Get rid of him.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@emilygoddess

I stopped using my neti pot after those guys in Louisiana died. They got brain parasites from their tap water! I didn’t feel like keeping distilled water around

I boil a bunch of water and mix the salt stuff in while it’s still hot, then store it in the fridge for use over a couple of days. It takes a bit to get up to room temp, but it is easyish. YMMV, of course.

howardbann1ster
8 years ago

When I first encountered the cynic, his careful tone–because he’s all about tone–tricked me into thinking he was reasonable. But he quickly put the lie to his tone.

Now he brags that he always brings nuance. By nuance he means lies.

Then he let us know that he likes being here to manipulate folks. His very words.

I don’t know that I need to hear anything more than that.

BTW, anybody see all the Star Trek twittering going on with the astronaut tweeting from space? This is the world we live in. It’s pretty awesome.

Myoo
Myoo
8 years ago

@howard

BTW, anybody see all the Star Trek twittering going on with the astronaut tweeting from space? This is the world we live in. It’s pretty awesome.

That was great. It’s like, there’s an astronaut tweeting from space and somehow the story just gets better. I love this world sometimes.

atomicgrizzly
atomicgrizzly
8 years ago
hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Diogenes’ story about being a HS teacher brought the lulz. Doesn’t he know that no one listens to the substitute?

heathenbee
heathenbee
8 years ago

“I boil a bunch of water and mix the salt stuff in while it’s still hot, then store it in the fridge for use over a couple of days. It takes a bit to get up to room temp, but it is easyish. YMMV, of course.”

That’s a good idea, we’re on unchlorinated water here.

One thing I did quit using was the awesome zinc drops that came with mine; turns out zinc can permanently wreck your sense of smell : /

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@hellkell

Especially when it wasn’t brought up when it would have been relevant (advice to pecunium about HS math and college).