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“Nice Guys” on parade

NG1

So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.

Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.

It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid  that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.

The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine —  and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.

Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:

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thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

*comment. I can do write good.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@Viscaria

I can’t get over how bizarre it is when men assume that women they find attractive must be turning them on deliberately.

I wonder if this doesn’t have something to do with all the work women are expected to put into their appearance and preferring women who look “natural” while having no idea what it looks like. Basically, women put in work to be conventionally attractive and so they do it on purpose? It is a bit troll-logicky, but troll-logic makes sense for this.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

So here I am, wondering… why would I care about your boner, again? Especially if I’m not attracted to you? Like, what do I get from turning you on?

To paraphrase NWOslave: because women get orgasms from not having sex with men, which is totally contrary to all my (and presumably most of the multi-gendered commentariats’) orgasmic experiences, but apparently NWOslave is correct because of his NWOcock. *eyeroll*

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago

@hellkell

That will undoubtedly be the funniest thing I will hear all day.

@pecinuim

It means “I am for my beloved, and my beloved is for me.”

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago

@talacaris

My best guess is the battle of Troy. I don’t know if it occurred on a single day, but it existed as a legend, and in poem until someone dug up the city.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

It’s like they heard about the femme fatale and decided that, rather than being a sexist archetype or stereotype, it was just a synonym for woman. It is bizarre because there are so many other archetypes, many if them contradictory, so why single just one out as true? (Of course, in the case of NWO, he decided that everyone but him thought all women were Virgin Mary so he did find a use for two of the archetypes. No word – that I can remember off the top of my head – on what he thinks of all the others.)

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

The original “Nice Guy”.

talacaris
talacaris
11 years ago

“My best guess is the battle of Troy.”

Is according to what I know, not verified, just that the city existed, and according to the myth, Troy was under siege for ten years.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

OMG at that asshole, thenatfantastic! What is wrong with some people?

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago

talacaris

Good points.

What do you think the oldest verifiable oral history is?

timetravellingfool
11 years ago

@ Heathenbee- Heavens no, steal all the quotes- it just reminds me of something I heard this one time.

atomicgrizzly
atomicgrizzly
11 years ago

“So here I am, wondering… why would I care about your boner, again? Especially if I’m not attracted to you? Like, what do I get from turning you on?”

This reminds me of a Kotaku article from a few days ago about a guy who would harass female Twitch TV (a gaming video streaming service) gamers because they “take advantage” of male gamers by being women and showing cleavage.

I’m not making this up. Read the article if you wanna get pissed off, and then read the comments to get even more pissed off. I replied myself to some people (my username is DocTenma).

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

@thenatfantastic

It’s like, he knew his wife had hip problems, and he knew he had to help her out… and he failed in the most sexist and douchey way possible.

timetravellingfool
11 years ago

lol, Hellkell.
Wow, Cynic spends three pages of comments being the tooliest of tools and then pretends he can just drop all that and chat like your average non-assholey joe. It’s the entitlement show starring diogenes.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

@CWS I think she might actually be married to Andy Capp.

nothing
nothing
11 years ago

Fibinachi – thanks very much, though I would like to pick out one of your points:

Any sentence that starts with “I think this is cool because I am a nerd…” implies, to me, that the person saying it is excusing their own preference because of some ineffable quality of nerdiness that other, more “normal” people would not have.

I think anyone who says that is misunderstanding cause and effect. People don’t suddenly like nerdy things because they fall into the nerd category. We like things that are viewed as nerdy and therefore we are nerds. The former would imply that once someone mysteriously becomes a nerd, they like all the things that nerds like which is patently untrue. I hate World of Warcraft.

(I’m too busy blowing stuff up in EVE Online)

atomicgrizzly
atomicgrizzly
11 years ago

Crap, forgot to post a link to the article I mentioned:

http://kotaku.com/5972869/

There we go.

Diogenes The Cynic
Diogenes The Cynic
11 years ago

timetraveling

I don’t see the purpose of being bombastic. Or rude. Or really anything loud. Don’t expect that from me.

How this ties into entitlement, I will never understand.

lumi
lumi
11 years ago

Ugh, atomicgrizzly, I looked up that article and the comments are all of the same “what do you expect for daring to be publicly female”. Gross.

And can I just say that it pisses me off when boychildren whine that women are trying to get attention by using voice chat and video. Would anyone say that a guy is trying to get attention by using his masculine voice? But when women dare to do anything that reveals their womanliness, it’s suddenly an attack on those poor lonely boys.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago
timetravellingfool
11 years ago

“How this ties into entitlement, I will never understand.” Yes dear, I know. That’s what makes you hopeless. As for not seeing the point in being rude, bombastic, loud (over the internet), you are all of those things, dude. You stick out like a sore thumb. Coaching your terms in false politeness doesn’t make anything you say less offensive.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
11 years ago

Dear god…

IT’S A GINGER TABBY KITTY IN A HOOD OMG SO CUTECUTECUTE *FLAIL*

… you found my weakness.

timetravellingfool
11 years ago

@hellkell- squeeeeee!! omg, he’s a shoulder kitty!! They are a rare and wonderful breed!!!

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@hellkell

Aww! That is one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen! I vote it goes into brain bleach rotation.

atomicgrizzly
atomicgrizzly
11 years ago

@lumi

Exactly! Everyone on that damn Twitch TV site is trying to get attention. That’s why they’re on it! They feel threatened by the women because they apparently have some sort of mind-control over men that makes then donate to their channels.

It gets worse when you watch the videos and the guy explains that he chooses women who show cleavage. So he wants to control how they dress? Not cool at all.

@Hellkell
That cat is gorgeous!

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