So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
pecinum
Read what I actually said, and not into what I said.
Evidence here suggests Frothy probably goes about everything the wrong way.
http://youtu.be/Vt2r2rUHc7Q
and now, because we have a brunch date in the morning (some sort of social interaction, I think, I’m not used to them), and I’d like to have a second skein of semi-worsted romney done before we leave (as a present to the hostess, since she gave be the roving, and it’s the first I’ve had any luck spinning any sort of woolen out of), I am going to the bed my beloved has been warming.
I hope, for those who celebrate it, that Christmas (which ended, for me, 40 minutes ago) was pleasant, that all of you had a good New Year’s celebration.
Good night to all those of good will.
“Read what I actually said, and not into what I said.”
Subtext and implications, how do they work?
Yay, Pixies!
Niters Pecunium. Tell us what this social interaction stuff is like, won’t you? We’re all such beginners at it.
Naïf: I did read what you said.
You might want to go and look at it from a slight remove. I find that looking at things more than 24 hours after I write them gives me some better insight; as I can see what I actually said, rather than what I was trying to say.
It would be best if you refrained from commenting until you were able to do that.
And… answer the questions which were put to you. What is the oldest verifiable accurate oral history of a single event? Something which happened on a single day.
As much as I’d like to kick Diogenes around, I’m gonna go check on kitten and snuggle him for a bit and then go to bed.
Goodnight!
Good night, pecunium.
@Cloudiah: I know, right? The Pixies !!!
Thanks some gal! And kitteh, I have no doubt the tricksy blockquotes will elude me more often than not, but I shall keep an eye on them.
@Diogenes
::sigh:: Men should do more grooming for their partners. Fantastic. But when I said exact I meant EXACT. Like, if I guy expects me to get a bikini wax, *he should also get a bikini wax*. Shaved legs? He shaves his too. “Doing more grooming” like what? Putting on nice shirts? Aftershave? Not even close (especially because women have our own equivalents to most of those. And then some.). I suspect you (and many other men) don’t understand the time/effort/money needed to keep up with all of our “basics”. Plus the nagging feeling that we are “gross” or “unacceptable” if we don’t. And again, if my partner expected that my legs would be shaved more often than not, people wouldn’t question it, it would be accepted/approved of. If I expected HIM to keep his legs shaved more often than not, I’d be “weird” and a ballbuster and he would be “whipped” (by weird, controlling me, obvs).
And of course, men shaving their legs is not status quo it is for women…and that. Is. The. Point. There IS NO equivalent standard men are expected to keep, which is why we mock and deride people who hold women to those rules.
‘Night, hellkell.
Shut up, Cynic.
Admission of deliberate attempt to piss people off and step over boundaries. I make a motion to ban.
@time travelling fool
Who is this referring to?
Is there a troll who popped up?
Good night from me too. I’m going to read for a while; I want to finish my book!
I second the ban! While I listen to more Pixies…
I mean ANOTHER troll, obviously. 🙂
If Frothy was banned one could potentially see that as doing a favor to any pro dommes who live near him, since he’d have to go get his being told off by women fix elsewhere. Support local businesses!
Seconding the motion to ban Dumbass.
All right, thirding it, then! 😛
Darn, pecunium went to bed before i could talk spinning with him.
There is no equivalent beauty standard for men, because women are supposed to be pretty and men are supposed to be interesting.
🙂
lumi – and Diogenes fails at both! 😉
@ whataboutthemoonz- seconded. Seriously, you think it’s funny to rile women up about the pressures they deal with on a day to day basis? I cooked you a bag of deliciously seasoned dicks- I invite you to eat them all until you choke on the very last one.
I think my seconded may have been a fourthed?