So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
“A white cis-normal male who likes working on cars is terribly hurt at being called pathetic in this corner of the internet.”
Yeah, not entitled at all. And I’m not sure, but I think he’s saying straight, white men who like cars are above criticism — and their opinions trump any other demographic. Dude, you really are in the wrong neighborhood.
Well, if you’re an asshole then barging in where you’re not wanted and refusing to leave IS what “regular social interactions” look like for you.
@ pecunium
That makes more sense.
@pseudo_star_17
Well done and well said.
pseudo_star, welcome! And yay for blockquote success!
Though you know they just work the first time, and then … POW, catch you out forever after. Because they can.
Diogenes: you call this manipulation? Weaksauce, bubba. You couldn’t manipulate your way out of a bag.
If being repeatedly told how wrong you are and to fuck off is your kink, that’s cool, but there are better websites out there for it.
Funny, I’m not feeling manipulated at all. I am enjoying listening to the music though.
*laughter* Manipulation? Son, at worst you’re an irritant…like a hemorrhoid. Congrats.
What’s the odds these are Diogenes’ only “social interactions” where he doesn’t get ignored completely or thrown out?
Naïf: It just goes to show that you’re an ubermentch and I am the untermentch. All because you can write better than I can.
We aren’t the one’s declaiming that we can pass an IQ test and get better than 130 while drunk.
You made your bed. You get to lie in it.
Like I said. It goes both ways.
No, you didn’t. You said that natural bush was unacceptable, because it was contrary to the expected social norm. You equated it to normal hygiene.
@hellkell
It isn’t cool to force others to participate in your kink, though.
Naïf: I’m sorry you didn’t know how to keep it in one piece. I understand there are classes to improve one’s skills.
Riiiiiiiiight.
pseudo
Absolutely!
I know trimming a beard isn’t on par with an entire body. Thats why I think its reasonable for guy to do a lot more grooming for their women.
Sex has to be perfect? And perfect = looks good?
Sounds like a piss-poor idea of perfection.
One of my favorite covers of all time:
Maybe he’s just too cheap to pay for a domme so he’s “manipulating” us into doing the job for free.
Some Gal: true.
cloudiah: wow, Ciccone Youth, haven’t heard that in AGES.
Oh how sweet, the child presents his expectations of how people around him should behave, and when he is told it is inconvenient and unreasonable he responds by calling them socially inept. Dear Stupid Cynic Guy: if there is more than one person in a social setting i.e. here, on the internet, saying you are wrong for your silly media driven expectations on whatisacceptable to proclaim to women, you are the one in the wrong. Do you imagine we all live on an internet island together where we conceive of these ideas just to frustrate you? No, you egotistical three year old, we all live in the outside world, and go about our daily business and manage to have happy, fulfilling lives without one asshole demanding we shave our whatevers for his sexual pleasure. So if you want to have a foot stomping cry about how there are women out there who aren’t shaving their legs despite the (VERY) outside possibility you may one day see them naked (VERY as in wow did you make yourself absolutely unfuckable in the last several pages or what), i invite you to find an isolated corner in some dank, musty basement to cry cry cry away. Or if you are the other one, the lady who wanted to feel superior because she shaves her legs like a good little girl, um, gross? Enjoy your obedience biscuit elsewhere?
Cassandra – in between trying to hound Pierre to do the same thing. 😉
ttf – “Do you imagine we all live on an internet island together where we conceive of these ideas just to frustrate you?”
Does this mean the feminists took over Reddit Island and renamed it Man Boobz Island? :O
@ Kittehs’: Oh my god, it’s like Island of the Dolphins, only shaped like two perky man boobs!!
Naïf: Its makes me wonder if any of you can understand regular social interactions.
Wonder away. The evidence is strong that we can. Jobs, relationships (romantic, intimate friends, close friends, friends, acquaintances), and businesses are all had by people here.
There are strong social interactions right here, on this board. With agreements, disagreements, persuasions, support, help, meetings in person, etc.
That you can’t see it says a lot.
Oh, and if we’re trotting out silly lines thought up by other people, I might as well laugh at the idea of a hivemind agreeing with itself at being unwashed feminists with hairy pits.
For someone who claims to be smart… you sure fail at reading. What’s been said is we don’t agree with fools like you telling people what is, “acceptable”. Some shave, some don’t. Some prefer one thing, some another, and some have no strong preference.
You, however, think you are in a position to dictate (not that this is the first time you’ve engaged in such folly).
A white cis-normal male who likes working on cars is terribly hurt at being called pathetic in this corner of the internet.
No, I’m not. If your ego is bruised, I suspect it has nothing to do with that.
cloudiah: So apparently regular social interactions include barging into a space where you’re told you’re unwelcome and sharing your opinions as though they are fact, even though the people there tell you repeatedly that they don’t care and aren’t interested and want you to go the fuck away. Who knew?
Don’t forget pissing people off, getting his arguments punctured, and then quitting the conversation, only to join another (with the same people) as if nothing had happend (btw Naïf I’m still waiting on the oldest provable oral history).
Poor Frothy, he’s really going about this the wrong way.