So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
http://imgur.com/a/WCG9w
Porsche in progress.
I’m feeling rejected by all my non-rejection 🙁
I shared the “sex isn’t worth having if it isn’t perfect” thing with my boyfriend.
Response: “It’s true. Just like sandwiches.”
@hellkell
(Sorry, had to. If only they’d pay attention to the “I’m leaving today” part.)
Are they gone? One more video just to be sure — bonus, you can see the back of my blonde head somewhere around the 1:00 mark. I practically lived at the Anti Club during a portion of my youth…
Wow.
The framing here is redonk.
You ladies think its about validation, or ego?
Its makes me wonder if any of you can understand regular social interactions.
Oh, and if we’re trotting out silly lines thought up by other people, I might as well laugh at the idea of a hivemind agreeing with itself at being unwashed feminists with hairy pits.
Fuck, he’s still here, the frothy little dingleberry! Get thee behind me, Satan!
Diogenes has gotten really pathetic.
Cassandra: I’m glad you went for it.
cloudiah: a coworker of mine has some very cool pics that he took from The Starwood and other clubs in LA in the late 70s/early 80s.
Why does garlic only work on vampires?
A white cis-normal male who likes working on cars is terribly hurt at being called pathetic in this corner of the internet.
Diogenes: do “regular social interactions” for you consist of you barging in where you’re not wanted? That may be your problem right there, son.
Not about ego at all, “ladies.”
Pot, meet kettle. Given most of the people here who want to be partnered are, that’s an even more ridiculous statement coming from you.
Cassandra: I seem to have been unclear. It’s not that I care if someone has a preference for ‘x’. It’s that grumbles thinks he can duck the issue by bobbing and weaving that question, when what he has is requirement.
All things being equal, I like, “trimmed” more than not, but it’s not a dealbreaker. Being a “Conservative”, is. Being an anti-semite is. Being honest about one’s preferences is.
Diogenes: funny, it looked like you took that to a garage to have someone else work on it. Too bad it’s just a car and not an ancient manuscript.
So apparently regular social interactions include barging into a space where you’re told you’re unwelcome and sharing your opinions as though they are fact, even though the people there tell you repeatedly that they don’t care and aren’t interested and want you to go the fuck away. Who knew?
Naïf: Oral is impossible on a woman who doesn’t trim well.
Now you are just letting your stupidity hang out all over the place.
Trust me when I say, empirically, you are wrong. If you disbelieve me, go to BitTorrent, and plug in Deep Throat, or The Devil in Miss Jones.
You shower regularly, wash hands several times a day, etc. Its in the basics of taking care of yourself. Not that I think every woman has to shave her legs, but wearing shorts with hairy legs is the social equivalent of not showering for a week.
Nope. It’s a standard, in some parts of the culture.
It’s not universal. And it’s not just, “hairy legged feminists” who don’t shave their legs.
Here are some Educational video clips for you
“Its makes me wonder if any of you can understand regular social interactions.”
Oh sweetheart, you can’t even socialize online without a bunch of strangers disliking you intensely. If you present in person anything like you do here, I would have to imagine you get stuffed into lockers on a regular basis. I’m pretty sure everyone here thinks you’re a pissant. Trust me, it’s not us, it’s you.
lumi: I’m sorry if I jumped on you. I’d much prefer you to be active, than to lurk. I saw a style of comment which is more common to what are termed trolls here, and I’m not at my best.
I apologise for being too quick to be short with you.
hellkell
I enjoy the manipulation I get to do around here.
Ninja’d. hellkell, that’s cool. Wait, did we just have a regular social interaction? Wow!
@Diogenes
See, to me this means if my partner wants to be accomodated with my hairless calves, thighs, genitals, underarms (possibly including arms, as I have darker hair), then he should be expected to do the exact same thing. Because shaving/trimming a beard is not even CLOSE to what women are expected to do to be “hygenic” (snort). Seriously, do you even comprehend how much “basic maintenance” women are expected to do?
Even if you were willing to “accomodate” a partner with mutual hairlessness (if that was her preference),men are not expected to go through all that to be attractive. So her requesting that would be seen as over the top, but your accomodations get to be par for the course. How blessedly CONVENIENT. For some people.
(First time trying blockquotes…will it work???)
Except you’re not manipulating, you’re being scorned. Unless you’ve some sort of masochistic kink for being told repeatedly you’re a moron, I don’t see how you’re achieving anything.