So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
*snicker, snort, snicker*
My real imaginary car is a restored 1970s BMW 2002.
Anyone who is that obsessed with appearance during sex is not going to be a good partner. Too focused on what zie looks like and the other person(s) look like, to actually, you know FEEL anything. My condolences to anyone who attempts to have sex with such a person.
One of my favourite George Winston pieces – Rain.
http://youtu.be/6taCr-t_UyE
cloudiah: those old 2002s are awesome! I used to see a lot of those in Seattle, along with the really old Volvos that kind of resembled the Batmobile.
What I don’t understand is why either of those two think we care about what their idea of perfect sex or an acceptable sexual partner is.
Those old Volvos are totally cool too.
http://youtu.be/aVxMBAWr6Es
“What I don’t understand is why either of those two think we care about what their idea of perfect sex or an acceptable sexual partner is.”
Yeah, me too.
@CassandraSays
Because society affirms their “preferences” and it drives them crazy that not only are they not affirmed here, they are actually critiqued and reconstructed. There is always a guy like them when feminists talk about these issues.
Of course all women are always supposed to be fascinated by the preferences of all men at all times!
And they get so annoyed that they resort to the “well I wouldn’t want to fuck you anyway!” line, as if anyone here would fuck them if they were the proverbial last men on earth. Or as if, more to the point, we’re still expected to adhere to their preferences regardless.
Deconstructed. It isn’t enough that I have to teach my device how to curse, I have to teach it fancy-schmancy words too?
The thing is, both of those two seem to want to be considered part of this community, and I don’t understand why. It’s not like there aren’t plenty of other forums full of women that they could go hang out in after being told to piss off here. Maybe the egos just can’t handle the being told to piss off part.
Plus, they’re so used to being listened to offline just for being male, that they really don’t know what to do when a bunch of women (especially) don’t give an imperfect fuck what they like.
“don’t give an imperfect fuck”
I saw what you did there
Cassandra: maybe they think if they can make it here, they can make it anywhere.
So, they’re peeved we don’t care or won’t validate their preferences. They’re not the center of the universe, and that sucks for them.
Well, they’ve gone all quiet- perhaps they’ve learned a valuable lesson?
How many people here has Dumbass now refused to date? If we can get him to say it to each of us, maybe he’ll realize he doesn’t care about us like we don’t care about him and he’ll leave…
I am very, very pleased to announce that this is factually incorrect.