So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
You can’t tell whether or not a woman’s legs are shaved when she’s wearing pants either, unless she’s wearing capris.
(I’m not trying to reason with Grumbles btw, that’s pointless. Just poking him because he’s occasionally amusing when he’s in a sulk.)
Sgt. Grumbles: “sex has to be perfect.” For you, right?
Shiraz
My porsche 914 is in about a million pieces now. I would be extremely impressed if someone was able to get it to work.
Grumbles – so you think you’re looking your best when you’ve shaved, fine. Not everyone feels that way about themselves or their partners. Believe it or not, people can manage to have satisfying, happy, even joyful sex more often than that, without turning it into some ‘OMG it must be perfect’ performance. And they can even do it unshaven! With the lights on!
“Sex has to perfect or else it’s a waste of time. ”
What does this mean, now?
Also, sex must be perfect – what defines perfect? What if your partner’s definition is different? What if they don’t actually want that sort of performance pressure?
Hey, grumbles, I thnk it’s fantastic you feel soo free with your preferences. Free enough to continue expressing them in a pages long discussion with women who are clearly uncomfortable with your preferences, find them restrictive, and have spent a good deal of time and energy telling you as much. Seriously, that is a fantastic expression of freedon you are exercising there!! Wow, you deserve all the legs t be as bald as a young baby’s ass after all this free expression. Or maybe your preference is actually re-enforcing some larger constrictive pressures concerning the expectations of women’s behaviour and how they conduct themselves for others’; pleasure. But, ya know, the important thing is how free you are feeling right now to express yourself, right?
LOL, Porsche. That’s hilarious.
Diogenes the Delapidated: sorry your VW is in a million pieces. LOL 914.
frothingly ninja’d by cloudiah.
Cynic,
So I was right? Somebody was messing with it?
My imaginary car is a Maserati.
I think I’m just going to start posting videos. Any objections?
Clearly Frothy’s Porsche failed to bring all the girls to the yard. He should ask for a refund.
I prefer imaginary Daimlers or Bentleys of the 1930s look.
How perfect cannot be when you are both trying to look your best and worrying about if it is good enough to count as perfect?
This is honestly one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.
seems good to me, cloudiah
My imaginary car is a 73 Buick Gran Sport SS convertible.
What is perfect sex? In my experience, it has nothing to do with tiny details of the bodies involved, but more about the passionate connection. I’ve had sex that I would call perfect, and these stupid little boy rules didn’t even begin to enter into it.
Can it.
Oh, by the way, my Tardis is in the shop for repairs.
hellkell
Wow. Are you a car buff? I’m genuinely impressed.
BTW, only half the parts are VW. There are Porsche components in there. And no, its not just the decals.
That was me hoping to get a typo correction right under my post and also giving advice to Diogenes and Grumbles! A twofer!
This song has one of my favorite lines of all time in it.
“What’s hip today, might become passé.”