So, “Nice Guys” are causing a stir on the Internet again, thanks largely to a new(ish) Tumblr blog called “Nice Guys” of Ok Cupid, which posts selected highlights from the OKCupid profiles of self-proclaimed “nice guys” who make it very clear, in their profiles and in their answers to OKCupid’s “match” questions, that they are in fact anything but nice.
Some of them are actual or potential date rapists, convinced that women that they’re “nice” to owe them sex. Others are bitter from too many rejections, and launch long tirades in their profiles about how women are bitches and whores. Still others are clueless on a more fundamental level, declaring that women have “an obligation to shave their legs” and otherwise prettify themselves for men while noting that they themselves only shower or brush their teeth occasionally.
It’s not clear how any of this is supposed to convince the women of OKCupid that these angry, ranting, hapless-yet-entitled “nice guys” are indeed as “nice” as advertised, much less convince any rational human being to have sex with them.
The site is a goldmine of unintentional self-revelation — as is a similar site with the name of, er, OKCupid Goldmine — and I’ve spent hours looking through the pictures on both sites and discussing them with friends. The only reason I haven’t linked to it in the past is that neither of them blur out the faces of the people they feature, which seems to me a pretty major invasion of privacy. (As you no doubt have noticed, I’ve taken the liberty of somewhat creeepily disguising the faces of the guys in the pics I’m posting here.) But “Nice Guys of OKCupid has been pretty widely discussed, linked to by Jezebel (1, 2) and The Guardian and even the Men’s Rights subreddit, to mention merely a few examples; Ok Cupid Goldmine is also provoking discussions. Posts on both sites regularly get dozens if not hundreds of comments and reblogs on Tumblr. The cat’s already out of the bag.
Here are a couple more of these “Nice Guys” with their faces all spiral-ized:
@Diogenes
Only someone who lacks skill would say that. I have had oral performed on me in all States of grooming and it depended on the guy, not the hair.
@Grumbles
Why are you avoiding my questions?
Oral sex didn’t happen in the 70s! Ever. This has been today’s edition of Diogenes Is A Dumbass.
Grumbles – nice attempt at dodging the point, but you weren’t quite able to pull it off.
Talking about the shaving thing, my 13-yr old daughter refuses to shave anything despite the pressure from her older sister and (in the summer) her grandma. I grew up with people telling me what I had to do to be pretty, and so refused to do the same with them. My mom knows now that talk about weight is not allowed, but she hasn’t got the message to not nag about armpit caterpillars. I bought them makeup only when they asked for it, and let them cut or dye their hair as they choose.
But my oldest is naturally the kind of person who wants to fit in and do what society dictates. I just smile and let her choose her choice. She’s happy being conventional, just as her sister is happy rebelling.
Yet I still grab the razor every other day. Cultural conditioning is a bitch.
Some Gal
It does depend on the guy, but only insofar as he is able to handle his partners hygiene.
I seriously don’t like the sensation of coarse hair on my…..face.
A friend of mine actually has a script just for things like that.
“Grandma is a wonderful person and she loves you and only means the best for you, but there are some things that she’s very old-fashioned about. If something she tells you doesn’t seem right to you, just come talk to me about it.”
Diogenes could single-handedly end the prevalence of pubic hair removal or trimming.
@ Cassandra- missed it when you said it the first time- sounds highly likely.
@lumi
I wish my mom had let me make those decisions for myself. I was desperate to try shaving, but “too young” and ended up stealing a razor and doing the damn thing dry. I probably never would have done it again for years if not for peer pressure.
LOL at oral being “impossible” if a woman (but only a woman?) isn’t well-trimmed. Just LOL. Because apparently long pubes have spiny barbs that will rip the skin off your face? Or they secrete an acid that paralyzes your facial muscles? I’m trying to figure out how they actually make the act impossible.
Diogenes – believe it or not, “hair” does not mean “unclean”. And why is it so difficult for you to simply say “My preference is such-and-such” instead of trying to make it some sort of universal rule? Do you just have some sort of “any attention is better than none” fetish that makes you say stupid shit to get a reaction?
Seriously, Diogenes, a man who would be dissuaded from performing cunnilingus due to hair is either really immature or not totally into having sex with her in the first place.
Also, my pussy hair is only coarse when growing out from a recent shave or wax, otherwise it’s as silky as the hair on my head (Mileage may vary)
It is impossible to kiss a man with a beard.
It is impossible to apply underarm deodourant to anyone with underarm hair.
It is impossible to pull socks on over feet with any hair on them.
It is impossible to pet a long-haired cat.
My mum was totally “do whatever you want” about all that stuff. Luckily for me the grandmother that I was close to is also totally chilled out and reasonable about most things.
cloudiah, I’m loving the barbs and acid imagery. They’d go perfectly with a vagina dentata.
::laughs evilly::
I grow my pubes super long, but I braid them in ornate patterns*. Is there an OKC question for that?
*I do not actually do this, but now I’m thinking about it.
It is extra impossible to snuggle a long-haired cat with your face. This is why my face is covered in terrible lacerations and I spend every day at the ER.
DING DING DING we have a winner!
Only if you include decorative beads in the braiding.
@cloudiah
So many possibilities!
I’m thinking of doing mine in a basket-weave wrap-around so I don’t have to wear knickers every day.
A friend and I once wrote a whole story about a Southern family whose sons had run ins with a score of scary women — my favorite was named Vengina Dentata. True story. I’ll have to see if she still has it.
Confession: I have braided my pubes. It is easier than braiding head hair as long as there’s enough hair that you aren’t pulling it too much. That is because my long pubic hair is pretty silky. (I don’t wear it or anything like that, but I have done it.)
@SomeGal
I missed your question in the midst of others’ posts. But I’m not sure how leg shaving would be the same as movies. Of course people can like lots of different movies, but I don’t know how there would be similar scenario with leg shaving, unless you’re talking about someone who likes to shave sometimes but prefers being hairy other times.
@Cassandra Says – that is very wise. My mom has a weird thing about her weight, and so I have food issues too because she couldn’t help passing them on. Making a conscious effort to do better by my daughters also requires recognizing where toxic messages come from and stopping them without vilifying the messenger.