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Tom Martin top troll TROOOLLLL!! whaaaaa?

The Man Boobz Troll of the Year Award for 2012 goes to … MRAL! No, that’s not a typo.

scoobydoounmask

The votes are in and the winner of the highly coveted Man Boobz Troll of the Year Award for 2012 is … MRAL!

Wait, you say, he wasn’t even on the ballot?

Well, no. The troll that got the most votes from you, my dear readers, was the verbose anti-Man Boobz crusader known as Steele —  also known as Mikhael Varpole and, briefly, as Torvus Butthorn. Indeed, Steele cruised to victory, getting 47% of the vote, as compared with the 33% received by Tom Martin, his only real competitor. (Dr. Pell came in third, with a mere 6% of the total.)

But as it turns out we’ve been played, big time. The troll we know and love as Steele turns out to have been MRAL all along.

Yes, that MRAL – the long banned commenter who cannot seem to walk away from this blog. We’ve uncovered and banned many of his previous sockpuppets, but somehow he managed to slip his boldest sockpuppet right by us.

Oh, sure. I and others here often wondered if Steele was for real; it seemed pretty clear to me that he couldn’t possibly believe everything he said. But it wasn’t until I went back  to some of “Steele’s” earliest comments here, in preparation for this post, that I discovered how justified these suspicions had been. Turns out that one of “Mikhael Varpole’s” IP addresses matched one used by an earlier troll, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, who had been outed as MRAL a couple of months earlier.

D’OH!

“Torvus Butthorn” really should have been a dead giveaway. But otherwise the highly dedicated MRAL did a masterful job of keeping his troll character consistently ridiculous yet plausible enough to not be an obvious phony, and of hiding his particular obsessions in such a way that he didn’t give himself away.

So, congrats, MRAL, and you’re banned again.

After this, the rest of the results are a bit of an anticlimax.

Sunshine Mary wins the Special-est Snowflake award for Female MRA Trolls, with 52% of the vote. Driversuz comes in second with 32%.

Tom Martin easily wins the Worst Human Being award with a stunning 73% to David K Meller’s 22%.

Some Guy Bored With Your Schtick wins Most Tiresome with 58% of the vote; Diogenes is a distant second with 24%.

And JudgyBitch wins Most Pathetic Vote Beggar.

I hope they’re not all MRAL too.

 

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cloudiah
7 years ago

Can anyone explain why I am humming “I’m a little teapot, short and stout…” all of a sudden?

Rooibos is one of my faves, but lately I’ve been drinking a blend of chamomile and elderflower that is really nice.

When I want a black tea, I like PG Tips with just a spot of milk — not because it’s good, but because it’s a kind of nostalgic thing for me. When I was in college I had an English friend who had grown up drinking it, and we spent hours at his apartment drinking that, eating the terrible (because bland!) curries he’d make, and chatting and laughing.

freitag235
freitag235
7 years ago

Coffee is a manly drink! Feminists beware! Coffee is hard, bitter, dark, and makes you shit have a healthful bowel movement when properly prepared. No misandry there!

Um, except all female family members drink it and love it. Add chickory for maximum benefit. Texans know their coffee, and our women can shoot acorns out of trees.

Not sayin’ there’s a connection or anything, but Texas women drink coffee and are incredibly good shots. Also pie.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I am biting the bullet, putting on my fanciest jeggings, and going into public and meeting people.

Rock on!

Earl Grey tea is disgusting, like the aftertaste of barf. Keep your green and white teas, bring me ALL THE BLACK TEAS. Love them.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

MRASteele. Wow. Both very well done and incredibly pathetic all at once. He has been loitering about this place deliberately upsetting other people for his own pleasure for something like 2 years now (I think? He was here before I ever was) so any sort of excuse about youth or ignorance is worn to nothing at this point.

Um anyway so I’ve been lurking for a while. I really miss you guys. I hope it’s okay if I start hanging out again. Did everybody have a nice New Year? I spent mine watching old episodes of The West Wing with my boyfriend and my dad in a cabin in B.C. and drinking truly terrible sparkling rosé. It tasted like the colour pink.

katz
7 years ago

Hi Viscaria! Good to see you again!

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Hi Visacaria, happy new year! Missed you.

freitag235
freitag235
7 years ago

Hi Viscaria. If the Boobzers can put up with me and my endless bulldogs, I’m sure you’ll be more than welcome. Hang all you like!

cloudiah
7 years ago

Viscaria! Yay!

cloudiah
7 years ago

Um, freitag, we don’t “put up with” your endless bulldogs. WE DEMAND MOAR BULLDOG PUPPIES MAKING ADORABLE NOISES WHILE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WALKING.

hrovitnir
hrovitnir
7 years ago

Hi Viscaria! I am largely a lurker but I read this daily so I’m still happy to see you. 😛

I am going to try posting the picture of this cat both ways because I am so dubious the clickable thumbnail will work…

If that fails (check him out, he’s cuuute): http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1378/5616492/23549932/405197982.jpg

I failed to video him kneading. He’s pretty settled in. <3

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

KITTY!

freitag235
freitag235
7 years ago

Daawwww…cloudiah…You give me a happy!

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

I missed all you guys. <3

All of my favourite tea comes fromDavid’s Tea and I shamelessly shill for them whenever possible.

katz
7 years ago

What a handsome tux. I hope he finds some nice people.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Kitty! And squeaky little potatoes puppies!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Viscaria! “Um anyway so I’ve been lurking for a while. I really miss you guys. I hope it’s okay if I start hanging out again.”

Nobody minded that I did the same!

hrovitnir
hrovitnir
7 years ago

I’m never quite sure whether outside cats are completely unusual in the US or not but a vast majority of cats here are… this is a BUSY road though, I’d never let my cats out around here. O_O

So he’ll have a home but I’d rather he was in here with me for the day. :/ He looks like a cross between two of my cats, and he is altogether too friendly!

hrovitnir
hrovitnir
7 years ago

Do you have an English Bulldog freitag, or you just a fan? 😀 I’m not really a fan of them being bred but I’m a fan of them, if you know what I mean. My partner got one after a client rehomed him to a co-worker and he ended up with this stubborn little brat that didn’t like him much. Loved him more than anything after a few months though, naughty boy (he’s gone now).

This is him with his “little” brother, who is an American Bulldog:

http://pic20.picturetrail.com/VOL1378/5616492/21953396/397072280.jpg

Molly moon
Molly moon
7 years ago

Do the shortened links work for embedding? I guess I’ll find out in a second

http://youtu.be/U8BWBn26bX0

freitag235
freitag235
7 years ago

@hrovitnir, I have no dogs at all; I am a cat person. But Sibling A and Sibling-in-Law have bullies, and they are wonderful. If I were going to have a dog…no, I’m lying, it would be a shelter dog that picked me, but I do love the bullies. They are very sweet-tempered dogs, and very good with kids. They don’t look it, but they are very gentle and patient. And the puppies are made of 100% pure love. Most puppies are, but these fat little pups…they just get me where I live.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Molly Moon: The Avalanches really need to put out another album.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

I have written down all the tea suggestions, BoyFantastic is being sent to the organic shop with the aise of tea shelves clutching a list tomorrow.

pecunium
7 years ago

Viscaria: You are more than welcome; others have told me they missed you.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Damn commuting time lag! All those interesting sex and tea comments and I didn’t have time to participate.

Pecunium – I can’t abide Earl Grey either. It’s sort of greasy to me (I gather that’s the bergamot) and I just don’t like it. I drink Orange Pekoe at the moment. It’s the only black tea I’ve tried that I can drink without milk, though I seldom do. I used not to like herbal teas at all, it was like drinking hot fruit juice BLECH. But I tried some with ginger and peppermint for various ailments, and they’re not bad, though I don’t generally drink them just for preference.

Any Aussies here tried the Australian Afternoon Tea Kevin Rudd came up with? I did and was very disappointed, didn’t like the flavour at all.

Evito:

I’ve seen these men actually cry, real tears and all, from sheer frustration. I’m not saying their wives don’t have a difficult time between work and kids…but I find it very hard to believe they can only have sex 2 to 5 times a year.

Again, I absolutely don’t approve of forcing someone into having sex, and I 100% recognize that the wives have difficulties to contend with…but is it really so hard to give your husband sex once a month? Or reverse it too, is it difficult to give your wife sex once a month, if you don’t allow any other outlets?

There are a couple of really nasty implications in this. First, it’s saying that someone (and it’s usually the woman, though as you said, not always) should “put out” even if they feel no desire at all, no arousal, nix. Now obviously I can only speak from my perspective, but I find that a horrifying idea. Not only because it means having sex with someone I don’t want to – a man I do not want inside my body – but because for me it would hurt. The whole ‘put out’ idea plays right into a rape scenario, where true choice and consent are removed. It also says that the partner who wants the sex is utterly blind to this, and doesn’t actually give a shit about the person being coerced into it. What sort of person has sex with someone who doesn’t want to do it, who’s acting out of a sense of obligation or societal pressure or to shut up the incessant whining? A rapist, that’s who. Oh, they’d never use the word, but that’s what it’d be.

Second, were those men crying with frustration because they hankered after an orgasm or because they wanted to make love with a woman they loved? If it’s the former, were they church brainwashees who had huge hangups about masturbating? If it’s the latter, wtf weren’t they talking to their wives and trying to work out whatever was wrong? Because that whole situation sounds like the lack of sex was symptomatic of something very wrong with the marriage.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

PS nice to see you back again, Viscaria! 🙂

hrovitnir
hrovitnir
7 years ago

Oo, looking forward to hearing your reviews, Nat. I find it interesting you find tea so flavourless generally.

Re: bulldogs. I’m the same wrt purebreds… I’d love a proper wee pit bull or a staffy but I will always get rescue dogs. My partner’s got his American Bulldog who’s getting on now, and I have my two pittie mongrels. 🙂

EBT are wonderful dogs but have soooo many health issues, and they have strong personalities. People underestimate them greatly and they do tend to be domineering so you have to be a strong personality to keep them in line. If you DO they are the sweetest things ever.

I just can’t abide creating dogs that can’t mate naturally and can’t give birth. AI and cesareans are the rule for EBT. Hip dyplasia, elbow dysplasia, skin infections, cherry eye, breathing difficulties, enlarged hearts. Not cool. Our boy was incredibly healthy but still died at 11 and that is pretty good for a bulldog. 🙁

There are people in Australia breeding Aussie Bulldogs, which are basically people trying to make functional EBT. That’s pretty awesome. And what creating a new breed looks like, not just crossing two purebreds and making up a name for it. -_-

/rant

pecunium
7 years ago

There is a David’s tea which just opened (ok, nine months back?) near my work. I got some keemun and lapsang from them. The genmai cha smelled good too.

I loved that the Frontier Psychiatry had serpentines, even if it wasn’t really my sort of music.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Probably my favourite “tea” of theirs (it doesn’t actually have any tea in it) is Forever Nuts. 1) delicious 2) bright pink. Best enjoyed in a white tea cup or mug.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I am not in any way trying to derail the discussions of tea, or bulldogs, or even (gasp!) the original post — but I needed to share this image from my new favorite tumblr: Capybaras that look like Rafael Nadal.

Thank you.

katz
7 years ago

Pitties are wonderful dogs! And it’s super easy to find nice rescue pits (even purebreeds) because shelter are always full of them.

I wish I could have a pitty, but they are too strong for me to handle.

pecunium
7 years ago

I had an american standard bulldog (not purebred, I think. He had an overbite, so he was DQd from breed standard for any of the three types). Amazingly well tempered dog. Huge, but thought he should be allowed to put all 97 lbs in your lap.

Oliver (because I found him, abandoned, so I named him for Oliver Twist).

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

Will report back Hrovitnir 🙂

I’ve only ever drunk tea the English way, brewed to hell with milk and at least two sugars, and it’s partly a psychological thing – nothing I’ve ever drunk makes everything *better* like tea does. I am very, very British in that respect.

People saying they don’t like Earl Grey reminds me of the time when I was about 13 and my sister’s father accused me of attempting to poison him because I’d made him a cuppa using an Earl Grey bag; I hadn’t realised they were different, I thought it was a brand of tea, not a type! He genuinely thought I’d slipped something into his drink :S

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Katz – have you seen some of the other videos of that pittie and family? They are just adorable together. And the one where the cat’s riding the roomba and smacking the poor pittie when zie goes past is hysterical.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

thenat – I just read your Poison Earl Grey story out at work and we all laughed! 😀

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
7 years ago

It was really horrible, my mum sat me down when she got back from work and was all like “Nat… I need you to be completely honest with me here – what did you use to make TinyFantastic’s Dad’s tea today?”, I was really confused and said “there were no bags in the pot so I used the ones from the black box”, and she just fell about in hysterics, laughing her head off while she explained he thought I was trying to kill him! I mean I was a sulky kid but give me some credit haha 🙂

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

ROFLMAO!

katz
7 years ago

Oliver is a handsome boy.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Oliver is adorable.

OMG, capybaras! Or, if you’re at all familiar with the midway of the NY State Fair, it’s “the rat, the world’s biggest rat.”

clairedammit
clairedammit
7 years ago

Hi Viscaria!

Freitag, at last someone drinks their hot drinks the right way: black, strong coffee with chicory in it. That’s how I’ve been drinking it since I was 15. If you pour half a cup and can see the bottom, it’s too weak.

I never could get into black and green tea. I finally figured out the tannins upset my stomach a tiny bit. If the tea is really good quality, it’s okay, but drinking the cheap stuff has turned me off the flavor. I do love a pitcher of iced flor de jamaica herbal tea, though (similar to Celestial Seasonings Red Zinger.) The classic recipe adds lots of sugar, but I like to make a mix of 3 parts strongly brewed tea to 1 part fruit juice. And chai masala is great, especially homemade. I hardly put any tea in mine though, maybe a single tea bag for 3 cups of chai – but I love lots and lots of ginger and cardamom.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I pretty much live on iced black tea. Unsweet, which gets me looks like I must be some sort of heathen here in TX when I order it out.

I love strong coffee, but I have to have my real cream in it.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I hit a cultural divide a couple of years ago when visiting the US. I made the mistake of asking for an iced coffee, which here always means cold milk coffee with ice or ice cream in it. There, it means other things too, and the shop assistant didn’t ask what I meant and gave me what is presumably the most-requested at her shop – cold black coffee with ice in it. Which I couldn’t drink.

Absolute to-die-for drink is Spanish sipping chocolate, cold. OMG chocolate orgasm …

freitag235
freitag235
7 years ago

@clairedammit, damn straight! Coffee is a test of character. If you can drink it, you pass. Chickory makes it worth living.

Bullies have heath problems, to be sure. Even loving Sibling A and Sibling-In-Law admit it, but they love their bulldogs so much. And they are heartbreakers!

@hellkell, with you on the unsweet tea. Sweet tea is the drink of choice, but I can’t stand it. So, yes. Fellow heathen, drink it just as it’s brewed.

freitag235
freitag235
7 years ago

Kitteh’s, um, cold iced coffee…black…bitter…stronger than an iron rod…mmmmmmmm…….

How to survive a Texas summer. Black iced coffee. It’s a cultural thing, I think.

clairedammit
clairedammit
7 years ago

Ooh, I forgot about hot chocolate. I like it best with soy milk, although any kind of milk is fine. A pinch of cinnamon makes it.

Kitteh, I’m thinking the thing to ask for over here would be an iced latte. My mom used to drink iced black coffee sometimes, which I always thought was gross. Hellkell, I always liked unsweet tea too at one time, but given my tea adversion, water’s better.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

“Stronger than an iron rod”

Freitag, stop channelling MRAs! Stop it or you’ll go blind!

(Though that could be the coffee.)

Speaking of surviving summer, I’m downing a lot of (TRIGGER WARNING FOR INSTANT COFFEE) cold coffee this morning. It’s going up to 41C / 105.8F today.

Yuck
Yuck
Yuck

Gimme winter

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I mentioned it to you before Freitag, but if you stumble upon a Dunn Bros. coffeehouse, get the Cold Pressed Iced Coffee. Holy shit, it is good, and will keep your ass going through the day. It should be a controlled substance. And you can buy growlers of it to take home.

Heathen fist-bump on the unsweet tea!

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Kitterh’s, come to Austin. It’s a balmy 46 degrees right now.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Clairedammit, yeah, I’ll be asking for iced latte in future. Strong latte is my usual coffee anyway when I’m out. Though you wouldn’t want to ask for a latte rather than a cafe latte in Italy like some Aussies do, and are surprised when they get a glass of milk. 😀

It was funny going to work on Wednesday. If you’d had no other way of knowing what time of year it was, the little groups of office workers homing in on anyone with a takeaway coffee and asking plaintively “Where did you get that?” would have told you it’s holiday season.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Hellkell, I’m taking it that’s 46F not 46C at this time of year! Brrr, 7.7C. That’s overnight temps in the depth of winter for Melbourne.
BUT I’LL TAKE IT I’LL TAKE IT.

Only good thing about today’s temps here is that Mr K has gone overboard in summer dressing and come in sans tee shirt. Eye candy to make one feel better while slowly expiring.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Yes, that was 46F, sorry! We’re supposed to get a “wintry mix” of sleet and rain, I’m like a little kid who wants it to be more sleet so I can work from home. I don’t feel like dealing with pants tomorrow.