The votes are in and the winner of the highly coveted Man Boobz Troll of the Year Award for 2012 is … MRAL!
Wait, you say, he wasn’t even on the ballot?
Well, no. The troll that got the most votes from you, my dear readers, was the verbose anti-Man Boobz crusader known as Steele — also known as Mikhael Varpole and, briefly, as Torvus Butthorn. Indeed, Steele cruised to victory, getting 47% of the vote, as compared with the 33% received by Tom Martin, his only real competitor. (Dr. Pell came in third, with a mere 6% of the total.)
But as it turns out we’ve been played, big time. The troll we know and love as Steele turns out to have been MRAL all along.
Yes, that MRAL – the long banned commenter who cannot seem to walk away from this blog. We’ve uncovered and banned many of his previous sockpuppets, but somehow he managed to slip his boldest sockpuppet right by us.
Oh, sure. I and others here often wondered if Steele was for real; it seemed pretty clear to me that he couldn’t possibly believe everything he said. But it wasn’t until I went back to some of “Steele’s” earliest comments here, in preparation for this post, that I discovered how justified these suspicions had been. Turns out that one of “Mikhael Varpole’s” IP addresses matched one used by an earlier troll, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, who had been outed as MRAL a couple of months earlier.
D’OH!
“Torvus Butthorn” really should have been a dead giveaway. But otherwise the highly dedicated MRAL did a masterful job of keeping his troll character consistently ridiculous yet plausible enough to not be an obvious phony, and of hiding his particular obsessions in such a way that he didn’t give himself away.
So, congrats, MRAL, and you’re banned again.
After this, the rest of the results are a bit of an anticlimax.
Sunshine Mary wins the Special-est Snowflake award for Female MRA Trolls, with 52% of the vote. Driversuz comes in second with 32%.
Tom Martin easily wins the Worst Human Being award with a stunning 73% to David K Meller’s 22%.
Some Guy Bored With Your Schtick wins Most Tiresome with 58% of the vote; Diogenes is a distant second with 24%.
And JudgyBitch wins Most Pathetic Vote Beggar.
I hope they’re not all MRAL too.
ok I am coming out of a long lurkdom to say HOLY SHIT I did not see that coming! Steele seemed so different, I second get off the internet and become a writer!
Shit. I said his name and now I am in moderation. Kinda funny. I’ll repeat myself and I hope no one minds later:
Knowing Steele was who he was, the sucking up makes a lot of sense. He has always been a bit desparate for friends and, by the time he was Steele, he knew he couldn’t get it from the regulars here anymore.
And that, of course, is assuming there was any truth in the Mr Al persona. He might not be a kid at all.
@hellkell
And even more hilarious!
I got modded for that too, Some Gal. Mine wasn’t worth repeating, though. 😛
I feel like now we need a video montage of our fun times with Mr. Al’s alter ego, Steele, so we can get all weepy over saying goodbye, yet again to him.
So. Much. Laughage.
I’m sure MRAL only won because you wouldn’t credit me with the votes entered for Sir Humpsalot and El Chorizo. Any votes for Douche Baggins was probably intended for one of the feminists.
Damn right I’m a sore loser.
Now we just need Tom Martin to come out as a troll. Except I’m pretty sure he’s real, unfortunately.
I’m 99.9% sure MRAL isn’t Pell.
The name “Otis the Sweaty” seems very MRALish, but Otis has used a consistent IP while MRAL and his sockpuppets have always used more than one.
That’s one of the reasons I didn;t catch this earlier; it’s tiresome to check IPs of frequent commenters that use more than one IP. MRAL used more than 2 dozen, though admittedly a bunch of those are fairly similar.
If Tom is a troll, he’s REALLY dedicated – dedicated enough to rack up thousands in court expenses he now owes to the British govt.
@David
This really is the best time to have caught him. It would have been awful to have missed out on this post!
John: better luck next year. Use the time to work on your coherency, thanks.
John, you didn’t get even one write in vote for Troll of the Year.
I actually came out ahead of you in that regard, with 3 write in votes, along with one for “David Fatrelle.”
I also got one write in vote for Special-est Snowflake and four for Worst Person, including one for “David Futrelle (the catty fraudster).”
John, you would never be in the running against someone who’s spent, what, more than a year being a Poe and been sharp enough to be other socks to divert attention.
There’s only one thing to say right now:
😀
What a delightfully weird turn of events.
The Catty Frauster(s) – another great band name!
In lieu of a tear-inducing video montage, some pretty good laughage starts here.
This is the best part of my Christmas holiday.
Mr Steelehorn Buttpole, you have some of my admiration for the sterling troll job, and may I suggest a career as a professional strawman?
At least put that effort in down the Oxfam bookshop or something.
Wow, good job at fooling all of us. I’ve spotted some of the other socks but Steele was pretty good. Stop trolling and go do something productive, you’re genuinely creative and it could be put to use creating something cool instead of just seeing how long you can trick us with a new persona.
I’m torn between feeling admiration and being creeped out. That’s some serious obsession right there.
Johnny-boi… if you want to get votes, you need some bottom. You need to persist, not wimp out when challenged.
Myoo, I’m choosing to overlook the creep factor and boundary issues.
Yeah, I do hope he starts some therapy and/or creative-exorcist projects rather than trolling on here.
I KNEW IT!
Well, not “it” but I knew nobody could write that horribly without actively trying!
And someone who spent that much time working so hard on writing badly on the internet just to… I don’t even know what the reward of that would be, but wow. Sad. Not even funny-sad, just pathetic-sad.
Like when you had a bad day and you drive by someone on the side of the road holding a gas can and their car is on fire and you think “OK my day kinda sucked but at least I’m not that person” sad.
I wonder if he got a genuine laugh out of it? Though if he did, that says he’s pretty screwed up anyway, given the subject matter he chose.
Got to hand it to him for jester’s fools and vyle, though.