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Tom Martin top troll TROOOLLLL!! whaaaaa?

The Man Boobz Troll of the Year Award for 2012 goes to … MRAL! No, that’s not a typo.

scoobydoounmask

The votes are in and the winner of the highly coveted Man Boobz Troll of the Year Award for 2012 is … MRAL!

Wait, you say, he wasn’t even on the ballot?

Well, no. The troll that got the most votes from you, my dear readers, was the verbose anti-Man Boobz crusader known as Steele —  also known as Mikhael Varpole and, briefly, as Torvus Butthorn. Indeed, Steele cruised to victory, getting 47% of the vote, as compared with the 33% received by Tom Martin, his only real competitor. (Dr. Pell came in third, with a mere 6% of the total.)

But as it turns out we’ve been played, big time. The troll we know and love as Steele turns out to have been MRAL all along.

Yes, that MRAL – the long banned commenter who cannot seem to walk away from this blog. We’ve uncovered and banned many of his previous sockpuppets, but somehow he managed to slip his boldest sockpuppet right by us.

Oh, sure. I and others here often wondered if Steele was for real; it seemed pretty clear to me that he couldn’t possibly believe everything he said. But it wasn’t until I went back  to some of “Steele’s” earliest comments here, in preparation for this post, that I discovered how justified these suspicions had been. Turns out that one of “Mikhael Varpole’s” IP addresses matched one used by an earlier troll, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, who had been outed as MRAL a couple of months earlier.

D’OH!

“Torvus Butthorn” really should have been a dead giveaway. But otherwise the highly dedicated MRAL did a masterful job of keeping his troll character consistently ridiculous yet plausible enough to not be an obvious phony, and of hiding his particular obsessions in such a way that he didn’t give himself away.

So, congrats, MRAL, and you’re banned again.

After this, the rest of the results are a bit of an anticlimax.

Sunshine Mary wins the Special-est Snowflake award for Female MRA Trolls, with 52% of the vote. Driversuz comes in second with 32%.

Tom Martin easily wins the Worst Human Being award with a stunning 73% to David K Meller’s 22%.

Some Guy Bored With Your Schtick wins Most Tiresome with 58% of the vote; Diogenes is a distant second with 24%.

And JudgyBitch wins Most Pathetic Vote Beggar.

I hope they’re not all MRAL too.

 

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MollyRen (@MollyRen)
7 years ago

“So, congrats, MRAL, and you’re banned again.”

This made me laugh so fucking hard.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Yonkers!

Karalora
7 years ago

Ho…ly… SHIT. I did not see that coming. I guess we have to admire him for keeping our eyes be-wooled for so long.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Now I’m wondering if he was Pell too. Hell, now I’m wondering if he’s DAVID! XD

ithiliana
ithiliana
7 years ago

Holy dipshit! That little weasel fooled us good.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

HAHAHA! Well played, dipshit. Now buh-bye.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

ROFL! Tthat was one hell of an effort at being a poe. Pell and co. could learn from it.

Carleyblue
Carleyblue
7 years ago

Wow, just… wow. And now I feel kind of stupid, since I actually considered Steele’s ideas seriously a few times (yeah, I know, I try a little too hard). I should have known, though- a couple of the (former?) blog posts were just too silly to be real.

I could have sworn though that Varpole had another blog up with non-MRA stuff that he linked to, and that had a picture of an older guy on it and information on where he worked. Or was that all made up too?

Some Gal Not Bored at All

Holy shit, indeed. And yay that the guy I took my name from won!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Now I’m wondering if he was Pell too. Hell, now I’m wondering if he’s DAVID! XD

David admitted on a thread last year that he is in fact NWO, Pell, Roissy, Elam, you name it. He IS the MRM. He is the Troll of Trolls, the almighty.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Now if only Mr. Al can take that dedication and turn it into getting a life, it would be real progress.

pecunium
7 years ago

Well, shit. Stone the crows, but that was a surprise. It’s a pity, in many ways he’s been the most fun we’ve had. That he took the time to create a few other socks was a pretty good subterfuge.

Pity that, for all his wit, the boy’s that screwed up.

Seraph
Seraph
7 years ago

How very, very sad. The things that boy could do if he applied all that energy to something…anything…else.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Yeah, it really says “what a waste” – and that’s regardless of whether he actually believes all the misogynist shit he spouts or not. It’s a sort of boy who cried wolf thing, makes you wonder if he’s lied about everything he ever wrote here – and that leads right back to being screwed up.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Seriously, Mr. Al, get off the internet and write screenplays or something. Because that was hilarious; you have a hell of an imagination.

pecunium
7 years ago

I’m actually sort of stunned. The amount of attention to detail, the sucking up, the persistence of traits… yes, sometimes it seemed he was taking the piss, but it was a piss-take consistent with the rest of the persona.

He earned this prize.

thebewilderness
7 years ago

I think that all the trolls are MrAl, with the possible exception of SunshineMary, who is simply too too special a snowflake to be anyone but her own true self.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Mr. Al: Steele aside, you’re a good writer.

clairedammit
clairedammit
7 years ago

Wow, I did not see that coming.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

All of the above is why I love this place–we got punked hard, and we’re still like, “hey kid, well played, you should write.” So for those who would call us giant meaniebutts, this right here is a refutation.

aworldanonymous
7 years ago

WHAT IF WE’RE ALL MRAL?!?!?!

Some Gal Not Bored at All

Knowing it was MRAL, the sucking up makes a lot of sense. He has always been a bit desparate for friends and, by the time he was Steele, he knew he couldn’t get it from the regulars here anymore.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Hey MRAL, if this was material for a screenplay or novel, just change the names, eh? 😀

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Ella was a fiction of a fiction, EVEN SADDER.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

LOL!

Discorda
Discorda
7 years ago

ok I am coming out of a long lurkdom to say HOLY SHIT I did not see that coming! Steele seemed so different, I second get off the internet and become a writer!

Some Gal Not Bored at All

Shit. I said his name and now I am in moderation. Kinda funny. I’ll repeat myself and I hope no one minds later:
Knowing Steele was who he was, the sucking up makes a lot of sense. He has always been a bit desparate for friends and, by the time he was Steele, he knew he couldn’t get it from the regulars here anymore.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

And that, of course, is assuming there was any truth in the Mr Al persona. He might not be a kid at all.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@hellkell

Ella was a fiction of a fiction, EVEN SADDER.

And even more hilarious!

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I got modded for that too, Some Gal. Mine wasn’t worth repeating, though. 😛

cloudiah
7 years ago

I feel like now we need a video montage of our fun times with Mr. Al’s alter ego, Steele, so we can get all weepy over saying goodbye, yet again to him.

So. Much. Laughage.

John Anderson
John Anderson
7 years ago

I’m sure MRAL only won because you wouldn’t credit me with the votes entered for Sir Humpsalot and El Chorizo. Any votes for Douche Baggins was probably intended for one of the feminists.

Damn right I’m a sore loser.

Carleyblue
Carleyblue
7 years ago

Now we just need Tom Martin to come out as a troll. Except I’m pretty sure he’s real, unfortunately.

Some Gal Not Bored at All

@David
This really is the best time to have caught him. It would have been awful to have missed out on this post!

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

John: better luck next year. Use the time to work on your coherency, thanks.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

John, you would never be in the running against someone who’s spent, what, more than a year being a Poe and been sharp enough to be other socks to divert attention.

reginaldgriswold
reginaldgriswold
7 years ago

There’s only one thing to say right now:

😀

What a delightfully weird turn of events.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

The Catty Frauster(s) – another great band name!

cloudiah
7 years ago

In lieu of a tear-inducing video montage, some pretty good laughage starts here.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
7 years ago

This is the best part of my Christmas holiday.

Mr Steelehorn Buttpole, you have some of my admiration for the sterling troll job, and may I suggest a career as a professional strawman?

At least put that effort in down the Oxfam bookshop or something.

Noadi
7 years ago

Wow, good job at fooling all of us. I’ve spotted some of the other socks but Steele was pretty good. Stop trolling and go do something productive, you’re genuinely creative and it could be put to use creating something cool instead of just seeing how long you can trick us with a new persona.

Myoo
Myoo
7 years ago

I’m torn between feeling admiration and being creeped out. That’s some serious obsession right there.

pecunium
7 years ago

Johnny-boi… if you want to get votes, you need some bottom. You need to persist, not wimp out when challenged.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Myoo, I’m choosing to overlook the creep factor and boundary issues.

Creative Writing Student
Creative Writing Student
7 years ago

Yeah, I do hope he starts some therapy and/or creative-exorcist projects rather than trolling on here.

drst
drst
7 years ago

I KNEW IT!

Well, not “it” but I knew nobody could write that horribly without actively trying!

And someone who spent that much time working so hard on writing badly on the internet just to… I don’t even know what the reward of that would be, but wow. Sad. Not even funny-sad, just pathetic-sad.

Like when you had a bad day and you drive by someone on the side of the road holding a gas can and their car is on fire and you think “OK my day kinda sucked but at least I’m not that person” sad.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

I wonder if he got a genuine laugh out of it? Though if he did, that says he’s pretty screwed up anyway, given the subject matter he chose.

Got to hand it to him for jester’s fools and vyle, though.

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