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2012: Year of Triumphs for the Men’s Rights Movement

Come early to get a good seat!
Come early to get a good seat!

What a year!

The Men’s Rights movement, the most important human rights movement of the 21st century, got 2012 off to a flying start in February with an event in Bozeman, Montana that was quite literally attended by no one. After that, the year was a whirlwind of activity. Let’s go to the timeline:

January: The Men’s Rights movement rests up to prepare itself for the year.

February:  The Montana State University chapter of the National Coalition for Men holds a lively and well-attended Men’s Rights event in Bozeman, Montana.  Sorry. When I said “well-attended” I meant to say “not attended at all.” As the local NBC affiliate reports, in what may be my favorite sentence ever written about the Men’s Rights movement: “No one showed up to the event but organizers say the lack of attendance is not due to a lack of interest.” You can read more here at Man Boobz, or watch the NBC affiliate’s report here.

March: The Southern Poverty Law Center, an important and influential watchdog of hate groups in the United States, profiles the Men’s Rights movement, describing it as “an underworld of misogynists, woman-haters whose fury goes well beyond criticism of the family court system, domestic violence laws, and false rape accusations. …  Women are routinely maligned as sluts, gold-diggers, temptresses and worse; overly sympathetic men are dubbed “manginas”; and police and other officials are called their armed enablers.”

March: British Men’s Rights activist Tom Martin has his “anti-male discrimination” lawsuit against the London School of Economics thrown out of court as a “hopeless claim.” Martin responds on Twitter by calling his critics “whores.” He then comes to Man Boobz and calls people here whores. Eventually he announces that female penguins are also whores. No, really. Read more about Tom’s visits to Man Boobz here: 1, 2, 3, 4. (TRIGGER WARNING for links 2 and 3, which deal with Martin’s reprehensible views on child prostitution.)

April: Thousands of Men’s Rights Activists converge on the National Mall in Washington DC for “Sink Misandry,” apparently some sort of protest against the lifeboat-boarding policies of the RMS Titanic, which sank in the North Atlantic one hundred years ago. (There was a movie about it.)

Sorry, correction: When I said “thousands of MRAs” I meant to say “none.” While the Sink Misandry protest was announced with great fanfare in December of 2011 on A Voice for Men, it was later called off due to unspecified logistical problems. Understandable, given how difficult it is to get to our nation’s capital, inconveniently located on the sparsely populated East Coast and served by a mere three airports.

May – June: The Men’s Rights movement has lunch and takes a little nap.

July:  Seven Men’s Rights activists make it to the steps of the Capitol in Washington DC, evidently for some sort of anti-circumcision protest. On Reddit, one MRA blames the poor attendance on the machinations of the “Government and the Fem lobby.”

August: In order to more effectively harness the activist energies of MRAs on Reddit, Paul Elam of A Voice for Men sets up a Men’s Rights Activism subreddit alongside the longstanding Men’s Rights Subreddit. Only a handful of MRAs subscribe, possibly because Elam seems more interested in banning people he doesn’t like than in organizing anything, and the subreddit is abandoned by its founder and everyone else within a month.

September:  In Vancouver, Men’s Rights activists hold a lively, well-attended debate with feminists on the question “Has Feminism Gone Too Far?” at a local used car dealership.

Oh, sorry. Another correction: After being announced, and cancelled, then resurrected and reannounced, the event is ultimately cancelled after the organizers lose the venue for the event due to a weird turn events that involves an MRA car salesman being removed from his place of business by police after some sort of dispute with his business partner. Also, the MRAs never bothered to round up any feminists to take part in the debate with them. You can read the whole complex and confusing saga of the Great Vancouver All-MRA Debate That Wasn’t in these three Man Boobz posts: 1, 2, 3.

October: Recess

November: Artistry Against Misandry holds a lively and well-attended concert and fundraiser in Nashville to celebrate International Men’s Day.

Whoops! One more correction: The event never happened. Apparently the organizers lost their venue, and were unable to book another one, as Nashville isn’t really much of a music town and musical venues there are as scarce as … wait, no, it’s fucking Nashville. NASHVILLE. Music City. The home of the Grand Ole Opry. I’m pretty sure that every building that isn’t a house or a restaurant there is a musical venue.

Also, the Artistry Against Misandry website seems to have vanished from the face of the earth. Might I suggest a visit to Artistry For Feminism and Kittens instead?

December: Christmas shopping.

I should note that when not organizing, then cancelling, events many MRAs have been busily harassing individual women online and posting many very angry comments. A few have also been putting up some very badly designed posters. So there’s that.

With a year of such triumphs behind them, how will the Men’s Rights movement manage to keep up such a blistering pace in 2013?

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Carnation
Carnation
11 years ago

@ David

Not that you need suggestions on articles, but how about one on the numerous feuds that have shook the MRM in 2012

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Melissa: you are completely full of shit, but you know that don’t you? As if abusers announce themselves. Either you’re willfully ignorant, or you’ve never met an abuser. You’re a shitty friend, to boot.

Here’s some truth: you are an asshole who needs to fuck off.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Honestly though, a lot of women are subconsciously attracted to the aggressive and dominant types; I suspect you know it evwn if you have difficulty admitting it.

Your experience is not all experience. Jesus, it’s like an even more odious Ruby.

themisanthropicmuse
11 years ago

“abusers as a rule do not lack empathy”

I would imagine one would have to lack empathy to a degree in order to be an abusive piece of shit that harms those they are supposed to love the most.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Fuck off, Melissa. Take your disgusting victim-blaming and just fuck off. You’ve had your chance to engage honestly and now you’re just trotting out misogynistic lies and bullshit. Who the fuck are you to tell women it’s our fault when an abuser sets us up and gets us into a relationship before the abuse begins? Because THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS. What do you think abusers do, hit someone on a first date?

Seconding all the fuck the worlds over that poor woman in India – and all the other women and girls who suffer this. I don’t know if anyone read that Age article I linked to yesterday, but (TW child abuse) one man was asking why the police and public never reacted to his daughter’s death this way. His daughter was tied up and raped and she died. SHE WAS TWO YEARS OLD.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

The next time some MRA dink rolls in here saying that women aren’t oppressed, I will point his ass towards the articles about India’s gang-rape problem. If that’s not oppression, I don’t know what is.

Seconding Kitteh’s ALL THE FUCKS to this horribleness.

Buntzums
Buntzums
11 years ago

That Tom Martin fellow contacted me on my YT account. Something about I had been chosen to help him with his campaign to sue the university. I responded that he was launching a harassment suit and wanted nothing to do with it. Odd guy. Also is that girlwriteswhat talking to a audience of two in a kindergarten or is that an asylum/rehab facility?

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Since this case became news, I find myself wondering what all the women of Indian background (a lot of immigrants from India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka live in Melbourne) who I see around might have gone through before they came here.

Amused
11 years ago

Oh, Jesus, Melissa, get the hell outta here. Seriously?

When men go through bad break-ups or acrimonious divorces, they don’t get admonished on exercising more care in choosing their partners. Almost no one will say to a man in that situation: “Well, what’s happened to you is partly your responsibility, because you weren’t prudent enough in choosing your wife/girlfriend.” But women are constantly admonished that failure to be clairvoyant when it comes to potential partners is some kind of personality flaw.

At the same time, women are also constantly slammed for being flighty, for doing the majority of divorce filings, for leaving relationships at the first sign of problems, for “creep-shaming”, for not being sufficiently accommodating or steadfast. Women are under intense social pressure to stay with men who are abusive, and given that abuse intensifies gradually, it’s no wonder they stay with men who rape, beat and humiliate them.

Both of these kinds of lectures, contradictory though they may be, stem from the same assumption: that women are impulsive, stupid and lack focus. Whether a woman reject men for what she perceivess to be red flags, or stay despite them, she is going to be accused of impulsivity, stupidity and lack of insight.

Cassie
Cassie
11 years ago

Everyone has failed to mention the most hilarious aspect of the car dealership fiasco, where head cheese Paul Elam immediately wrote articles about how evil feminists had the man arrested because he dared speak against him.

I just love it when Paul has egg on his face.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

Honestly, I come back from a week away and read all the threads (…yeah, I did) and we have Melissa here making a play for Ruby’s almost certain receipt of the Shut Up and Leave award.

In non-horrid news, I hope everyone had a nice week and celebrations if they did them.

drashizu
drashizu
11 years ago

themisanthropicmuse, when I said that abusers do not lack empathy, I meant it in the very particular, specific way that Melissa was using the phrase – as a symptom of anti-social personality disorder, as in literally unable to empathize with other people. This is not something that you can ascribe to someone based on their actions alone.

Although it’s tempting to pathologize people who do horrible things, like saying an abuser must be a sociopath, or claiming the Sandy Hook shooter must have been “sick” or “mentally ill,” just because someone commits horrible acts doesn’t mean they actually have a mental illness.

Neurotypical people do terrible, sad, hurtful things all the time. That doesn’t mean we can be armchair psychologists and declare that they’re unable to feel empathy like a normal person. Just because a man might choose to abuse his girlfriend doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel empathy for his guy friends, or the characters in television shows.

It’s the dehumanization of their partners (especially women) as a result of a sense of entitlement and privilege (which goes hand in hand with misogyny) that I believe causes abusers to selectively apply empathy to some people, but not to their victims. Not their cognitive inability to feel empathy at all.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Is It too late to join the Fuck off Melissa chorus, as well as the World is Shit chorus? Man, I have to admit to feeling some near-murderous rage towards those rapists, and that Catholic priest who thinks women who serve dinner cold deserve to be killed. You realize, Melissa, that your argument differs only in degree from that priest’s; at the core, you share his premise.

thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

Melissa, you appear to have learned everything you know about abuse from the movies.
Eff right the eff off with your effing MRA asshattery. You are so effing transparent you effing glow.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Hello thenat, good to see you again!

drashizu
drashizu
11 years ago

Cloudiah, I’ll join both choruses with you. I’m so sad that the victim in India has died. The attack occurred almost 2 weeks ago. Imagine being in critical condition for so long and going through so many surgeries, after such a traumatic experience… Her final days must have been so hard for her, but I’m glad she passed peacefully. And also so, so glad that people in India and around the world will be having serious conversations about rape and police protection and treatment of rape victims because of this. It’s sorely needed.

Melissa
Melissa
11 years ago

Ithiliana,

I didn’t have time to read those links in detail, but I did skim them.  Here are my thoughts.

“Blaming the victim describes the attempt to escape responsibility by placing the blame for the crime at the hands of the victim.”

This isn’t what I did.  It isn’t even close.  I drew a clear distinction between blame/guilt/deserving and avoidable consequense of choices.  I think I made it clear that blame and wrong doing lie entirely with the abuser.

With most crimes we would say that the blame lies with the offender, but also, it is a good idea for potential victims to protect themselves from crime to the extent that they can.   If someone forgot to lock their door (or chose not to bother) and had their stuff stolen, I would be very sympathetic; I would offer them both practical assistance and emotional support, and I wouldn’t say that they deserved it.  BUT, I would say (if it needed saying) that they could reduce the risk of future burglaries by locking their door.  Surely the same principles apply to any crime, do they not?  If not, please explain some are different.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

Hi Kittehs, just going to bed actually. I had great fun reading the TOTY nominations, I nearly ended in tears of laughter trying to explain the saga of Bob and his apocalyptic fiancee to BoyFantastic, and I LOVE the new Pierre cartoon. Catch you in the morning*!

(*the afternoon to you I suppose)

Melissa
Melissa
11 years ago

Kiwi girl,

“Melissa, not every abuser punches out their soon-to-be-partner before they partner up. Many abusers are viewed as productive and nice members of the community, because others do not know what goes on behind closed doors.”

I actually agree with you here to a certain extent.  There are some cases where it is genuinely hard to tell, perhaps even quite a few such cases.  I should have emphasised that more.  Also, thank you for phrasing that politely instead of just swearing at me as some others have done.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“Is It too late to join the Fuck off Melissa chorus, as well as the World is Shit chorus?”

I’d also like to join that chorus.

Welcome back nat!

drashizu
drashizu
11 years ago

Melissa, you sound like “Mr. I’m Not Blaming Her But It’s Her Fault” from one of Cliff’s old psots:

http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2010/10/people-you-meet-when-you-write-about.html

“Rape is never the victim’s fault, of course. But I just want people to admit that she has some responsibility. That she maybe played a part in it. That in an alternate universe where she’d done things differently and she lived in a steel Battlemech wearing a chastity belt, she wouldn’t have gotten raped, and she did make the choice to not use a Battlemech. I just need people to acknowledge that.”

With a side helping of “Mr. Offensive And/Or Baffling Metaphor”:

“Look, if you walk down a dark alley with a wallet stuffed full of money, sure it’s still a crime when you get mugged, but what if the mugger is just trying to feed his family because he was laid off by an evil solicitor and the ghost showed him a lone crutch leaning in the corner?”

Hilariously, there is also a douchecanoe lower down in the comments section who goes on at length about the very fine distinction he’s drawing between blame/guilt/deserving and avoidable consequences. He sounds basically exactly the same as you do.

Cliff told him to fuck off.

Now you should fuck off, too.

drashizu
drashizu
11 years ago

*posts, of course.

Melissa
Melissa
11 years ago

Frietag235,

“Get over yourself Melitroll. You’re nowhere near as perfect as you think.”

Where the hell did you get that I think I’m perfect.

“channeling Melitroll Didn’t she spot the signs of gang rapists? It was her own fault! Because this:”

This is a misrepresentation of my views, a “strawman” argument, and that is pretty obvious even to people who are just skim reading this.  I repeat, again, that I have always placed fault/blame/wrongdoing purely with the abuser.  Even if someone were to deliberately placed themselves in harms way that wouldn’t make them guilty, or responsible for the crime(s) committed against them – it just wouldn’t be a good idea to put themselves at risk.

That gang rape sounds horrible.  I didn’t follow the link because I don’t want to read about that right now.  I’m actually slightly hurt that you would miss represent my views in this way.  Not that I expect you to care.  You’ve presumably written me of as an evil misogynist agent of the patriarchy.

Starla
Starla
11 years ago

Melissa, I disagree with you, not because I think you’re blaming the victim, but because just because your friend’s significant other has problems, you assume that he will be abusive. It is possible to have personal problems without being physically or emotionally abusive. Unless he exploded in violence against someone in front of you, it could just be that it’s something he needs to confront on his own. Maybe your friend wants to be supportive in this?

I want to ask if you are a psychologist since you were so quick to diagnose him but that wouldn’t be right because the you would know that abusive tendencies don’t just pile up immediately. They start small (usually when the victim starts making excuses like running into walls etc) and then they escalate (police get involved, assault charges etc). I know that and I’ve only taken one psych class.

The Kittehs' Unpaid Help

Niters Nat! 🙂

Melissa, FUCK OFF all over again, with peanut butter and breadcrumbs if you want. You are still saying that “some” women are responsible for being abused because of “bad choices”.You know jack shit about abusive relationships or psychology. Take your abuser-lobby talking points and jump into a cesspool with them. Do you also think men who end up in abusive relationships need to take the blame for their “poor decisions”? Do you think people go into relationships all beady-eyed and without hope and affection, or that being deceived by an abuser is the victim’s fault? You talk as if it were all about choosing Brand A over Brand B in the supermarket. Yeah, go back to your cesspool.