What a year!
The Men’s Rights movement, the most important human rights movement of the 21st century, got 2012 off to a flying start in February with an event in Bozeman, Montana that was quite literally attended by no one. After that, the year was a whirlwind of activity. Let’s go to the timeline:
January: The Men’s Rights movement rests up to prepare itself for the year.
February: The Montana State University chapter of the National Coalition for Men holds a lively and well-attended Men’s Rights event in Bozeman, Montana. Sorry. When I said “well-attended” I meant to say “not attended at all.” As the local NBC affiliate reports, in what may be my favorite sentence ever written about the Men’s Rights movement: “No one showed up to the event but organizers say the lack of attendance is not due to a lack of interest.” You can read more here at Man Boobz, or watch the NBC affiliate’s report here.
March: The Southern Poverty Law Center, an important and influential watchdog of hate groups in the United States, profiles the Men’s Rights movement, describing it as “an underworld of misogynists, woman-haters whose fury goes well beyond criticism of the family court system, domestic violence laws, and false rape accusations. … Women are routinely maligned as sluts, gold-diggers, temptresses and worse; overly sympathetic men are dubbed “manginas”; and police and other officials are called their armed enablers.”
March: British Men’s Rights activist Tom Martin has his “anti-male discrimination” lawsuit against the London School of Economics thrown out of court as a “hopeless claim.” Martin responds on Twitter by calling his critics “whores.” He then comes to Man Boobz and calls people here whores. Eventually he announces that female penguins are also whores. No, really. Read more about Tom’s visits to Man Boobz here: 1, 2, 3, 4. (TRIGGER WARNING for links 2 and 3, which deal with Martin’s reprehensible views on child prostitution.)
April: Thousands of Men’s Rights Activists converge on the National Mall in Washington DC for “Sink Misandry,” apparently some sort of protest against the lifeboat-boarding policies of the RMS Titanic, which sank in the North Atlantic one hundred years ago. (There was a movie about it.)
Sorry, correction: When I said “thousands of MRAs” I meant to say “none.” While the Sink Misandry protest was announced with great fanfare in December of 2011 on A Voice for Men, it was later called off due to unspecified logistical problems. Understandable, given how difficult it is to get to our nation’s capital, inconveniently located on the sparsely populated East Coast and served by a mere three airports.
May – June: The Men’s Rights movement has lunch and takes a little nap.
July: Seven Men’s Rights activists make it to the steps of the Capitol in Washington DC, evidently for some sort of anti-circumcision protest. On Reddit, one MRA blames the poor attendance on the machinations of the “Government and the Fem lobby.”
August: In order to more effectively harness the activist energies of MRAs on Reddit, Paul Elam of A Voice for Men sets up a Men’s Rights Activism subreddit alongside the longstanding Men’s Rights Subreddit. Only a handful of MRAs subscribe, possibly because Elam seems more interested in banning people he doesn’t like than in organizing anything, and the subreddit is abandoned by its founder and everyone else within a month.
September: In Vancouver, Men’s Rights activists hold a lively, well-attended debate with feminists on the question “Has Feminism Gone Too Far?” at a local used car dealership.
Oh, sorry. Another correction: After being announced, and cancelled, then resurrected and reannounced, the event is ultimately cancelled after the organizers lose the venue for the event due to a weird turn events that involves an MRA car salesman being removed from his place of business by police after some sort of dispute with his business partner. Also, the MRAs never bothered to round up any feminists to take part in the debate with them. You can read the whole complex and confusing saga of the Great Vancouver All-MRA Debate That Wasn’t in these three Man Boobz posts: 1, 2, 3.
October: Recess
November: Artistry Against Misandry holds a lively and well-attended concert and fundraiser in Nashville to celebrate International Men’s Day.
Whoops! One more correction: The event never happened. Apparently the organizers lost their venue, and were unable to book another one, as Nashville isn’t really much of a music town and musical venues there are as scarce as … wait, no, it’s fucking Nashville. NASHVILLE. Music City. The home of the Grand Ole Opry. I’m pretty sure that every building that isn’t a house or a restaurant there is a musical venue.
Also, the Artistry Against Misandry website seems to have vanished from the face of the earth. Might I suggest a visit to Artistry For Feminism and Kittens instead?
December: Christmas shopping.
I should note that when not organizing, then cancelling, events many MRAs have been busily harassing individual women online and posting many very angry comments. A few have also been putting up some very badly designed posters. So there’s that.
With a year of such triumphs behind them, how will the Men’s Rights movement manage to keep up such a blistering pace in 2013?
Off topic, but a perfect example of misogynistic priest (or is that redundant..):
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/12/27/us-italy-priest-idUSBRE8BQ0E020121227
Women to blame for men murdering women!
I suspect part of the reason they have such problems with venues becoming unavailable and “logistical problems” is that everybody hates them for being misogynistic. Presumably that business partner at the car dealership was pretty pissed off when he discovered that the place would be hosting an MRA debate. Who would want their business associated with that?
@Ithiliana, *sigh* Of course. Women are always to blame for men’s misdeeds. MRA fact, even in Italy. Men are never to blame for anything, because we are all under female control. Rape? What was she wearing and why was she there and obviously she must have provoked it. Violence? Her fault for bringing out the worst in him. Abandonment? What did she do to drive him away?
It’s like they consider us to be infants who cannot possibly be expected to exercise any form of self-control, ever.
Am I the only one who finds this mindset extremely offensive?
(Redundancy. I know where I’m posting.)
Melissa: the car dealership was already festooned with banners about the co-owner’s custody disputes.
And they were plenty shady from the jump:
http://www.n49.ca/biz/cc-motor-car-sales/bc/vancouver/1315-hastings/
Yay for Pierre! I will link to that once I’m on a real computer. We’ll have to look for more stories suitable for Pierre, or create them!
Ithiliana, I had a quick look at the link you posted and that priest is clearly an idiot. Housework and clothing is no justification for abuse. Nothing is.
I do think though that some women make very bad decisions about who to get involved with however, and this may be part of the reason why domestic violence is such a major problem. A friend of mine recently got engaged to a man who shows classic signs of Anti-Social Personality Disorder; ie he is aggressive, impulsive, has no empathy. In layman’s terms people with Anti-Social Personality Disorder are known as sociopaths. They have no conscience. I chatted to my friend, told her what I know about the disorder, and pointed out how her fiance demonstrated the symptoms. She could see it; she didn’t disagree with my observations; but I suspect she had already figured it out for herself. God knows where that will end up. I’m not suggesting people like her *deserve* abuse and murder, but they are putting themselves in situations where it is inevitable. It’s not like there’s a shortage of decent men out there; my friend is attractive, degree educated, and in her twenties – easily able to take her pick of prospective partners..
NotMRA NotFeminist, the men’s rights movement is not a “huge threat” to feminism. But as I note in the post, and have pointed out many times on this blog, MRAs are effective at harassing individual women, and this makes them a danger to any woman (or man) they decide to harass. It’s also quite possible that the extreme rhetoric of the MRM will push some unbalanced MRA to something more drastic, a danger pointed out by the SPLC among others.The endless talk about the alleged violence of feminists on AVFM is a pretty clear case of projection.
Anyone who has a Pierre script is welcome to contribute it 🙂
Nice victim blaming, Melissa. Not everyone is as perfect as you with such sterling decision making capabilities.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
Clearly MRA events have been sabotaged because they have been prevented from offering pie at their events because feminists did not bake the pies for them because feminazi conspiracy MISANDRY.
@Melissa – It’s not a woman’s fault that her partner is a predator or an abuser. “I’m not saying they deserve it, but…” = you think that at least some of it actually is deserved for not exercising better judgement, and you can bet that your friend picked up on that. I hope she has a more empathetic support network out there.
There was no pie because there were no wimminz to bake the pies, ergo MISANDRY!
Hellkell,
When you know someone has violent and aggressive tendencies (and let’s be honest it’s pretty obvious a lot of the time) then choosing not to get involved with them doesn’t require great genius. I just a bit of basic sanity. Honestly though, a lot of women are subconsciously attracted to the aggressive and dominant types; I suspect you know it evwn if you have difficulty admitting it.
What is wrong with me? I see the world as it is, and tell it like it is. Is it wrong to point out the obvious truth, that people can protect themselves from abusive relations by not getting involved with abusive people. Now granted there are a minority or abusers who can pass themselves off as decent people, and there are a minority of people who are genuinely unable tell even when dealing with an obvious scum bag; that is a minority of cases in my experience.
So who’s going to be the first MRA to denounce Warren Buffett for the craven mangina that he’s just revealed himself to be?
So do I!
You are an asshole. Fuck off.
Ah, the old “it’s women’s fault for failure to be psychic” thing. Good thinking, Melissa. It is always women’s fault in MRA land.
Freitag235,
There is a difference between morally deserving something, and suffering due to consequence of ones actions.
If I were to stick a metal rod into an electrical socket, that would not make me a bad person. I would not deserve the electric shock in any moral sense. But, the shock would be an avoidable consequence of my own actions, and a caring friend would gently and sympathically advise me on how to avoid shocks in the future. I do not consider this to be victim blaming; but perhaps you are using different definitions to me.
Abuse is caused primarily by abusers – obviously. But potential victims can take steps to protect themselves without relying on abusers to stop or change.
Melissa, not every abuser punches out their soon-to-be-partner before they partner up. Many abusers are viewed as productive and nice members of the community, because others do not know what goes on behind closed doors.
You seem to have a very stereotypical view of abusers, one that is equivalent to the “stranger rapist” view.
Fretag235, and others,
“Ah, the old “it’s women’s fault for failure to be psychic” thing. Good thinking, Melissa. It is always women’s fault in MRA land.”
First of all I am not an MRA, nor a FeMRA, or part of the “Men’s Rights” Movement in any way. But what ever, make assumptions about me if you wish.
Secondly, you know have to be psychic to know that an abusive person is going to be abusive. Granted some are easier to figure out than others, but I’m talking about cases, like my friend, where it’s obvious – which it often is. I accept that some times the signs can be genuinely hard to spot.
@MelTroll: As others have noted: blaming the victim is a Thing you are doing:
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Blaming_the_victim
Keep digging that hole deeper, and you may move into the running for Troll of the year.
http://www.feminist.com/resources/ourbodies/viol_blame.html
You seem to be quite happy to spout off as a great authority to your friend (and I pity her if you are indeed her friend–you don’t seem to be much of a friend to my eyes), but you are tossing out a lot of cliched, stereotypical, patriarchal junk that you claim is true without any actual proof.
In fact, the statement that women are ‘attracted to abuser thugs’ is right out of the MRA playbook.
Ditto the women cause men to beat them up and kill them, aka the priest and some resident Trollz on this site.
http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2009/04/21/victim-blaming-and-domestic-violence/
I’m going to join the chorus of “Fuck off Melissa’s”.
Fuck off Melissa.
Also, in shitty shit that happens that proves the world is a shit place. The victim of gang rape in India has died.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-20860569
I am usually dead-set against the death penalty but I would happily see the men who did this hung, drawn and quartered so they can feel the pain that this poor woman went through at their hands.
Fuck them, fuck this, fuck rape, fuck men who hurt women. The next person who cracks a rape joke anywhere I can hear it is going to get their head put through a window.
^Dammit dammit dammit I hate everything.
The truly tragic thing is that MRA sites do indeed highlight real issues faced by men. They just direct/project their anger in the wrong place.
What katz said.
channeling Melitroll Didn’t she spot the signs of gang rapists? It was her own fault! Because this:
I know you meant “you don’t have to be psychic” but it is bullshit nonetheless. Failure to be psychic does not mean that abusers have free rein to do what they do. Just because you, in your infinite perception and awesome wisdom think you see an abuser in the making doesn’t make you right, and doesn’t make your friend deserving.
Get over yourself Melitroll. You’re nowhere near as perfect as you think.
Oh, and what katz said.
Again.
Lurker and occasional poster delurking here to say…
Melissa, you are engaging in a lot of armchair psychology. Do you have a psychiatric degree that would qualify you to say what the signs of an “Anti-Social Personality Disorder” are, or to identify them in practice based on observing your friend’s boyfriend’s behavior, and from there make a diagnosis?
AND, do you have any training as a domestic violence counselor that would qualify you to say with some degree of certainty that abusive tendencies stem from personality disorders? Are you sure Anti-social is the right personality disorder? What about Narcissistic, or Borderline? Can you claim with any authority that all or even most abusers would be diagnosed with one of these disorders, if they spoke to a mental health professional? Can you claim with any authority that people who are neurotypical never commit acts of abuse?
Can you reconcile the fact that your “signs” of an abuser, which you outlined in this post, do not correspond with the red flags of domestic violence outlined by Helpguide here?
For example: abusers as a rule do not lack empathy or act impulsively. Rather, they tend to be calculating, and use threats, humiliation, and isolation tactics to manipulate their partners into not wanting to report the abuse, and shift the blame for their relationship problems onto the victims to make their victims feel like the guilty party.