It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:
Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.
In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:
Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:
And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!
Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.
Do we get a meltdown now? Do we, huh,huh? I wanna socky meltdown!
My, aren’t the trolls begging for points today!
John Anderson, or whoever you are, it isn’t disagreement that gets you labelled a troll. The regulars here disagree with each other over all sorts of things, from food preferences to political ideas. The thing that distinguishes the trolls is that they are misogynists. It really isn’t complicated.
Why do so many of our visitors not understand that it’s impolite to throw your socks at people?
Especially if they’re the socks they owe all that money to.
John, Tom Martin had six threads devoted to him, five of them devoted to his comments here. You, I had completely forgotten about.
@ Claudiah
“Do you think a majority of women deserve to be described as soul-sucking succubi? Do you think a majority of women are primarily interested in men for their income? If so, can you provide any citations? If not, will you concede that men who act as the the answer to both questions is ‘yes’ might deserve to be called misogynists?”
If they truly believe it or have had some experience in the past, no. If a friend or relative had an experience that they’re aware of, no. If they don’t believe it, but act like they do, it depends on how their actions manifest themselves. I don’t believe that anyone is entitled to a relationship and if someone wants to take themselves out of the dating game, they should be able to do so without people judging them. Do you think it’s right to criticize women who have multiple sex partners? If not, why would you criticize a man for having none? If you believe that a woman can abstain from sex for any reason or no reason at all, why are men not afforded the same right?
Do you think that a majority of men are rapists, murders, or robbers? Do you think that a woman who is uneasy around a male stranger at night in a secluded area is misandric? If stranded and given a choice to accept a ride from a male or female stranger, do you think that a woman choosing the woman is misandric? If a man were stranded, and the woman didn’t offer him a ride and there were no other rides available, would she be misandric?
It doesn’t have to be a majority for people to be cautious.
(Tom Martin seems to be the frontrunner for Troll of the Year, but we’re not even out of the primaries yet.)
Steele’s got a good bit of support too, and is making a strong last-minute run with his latest bout of whining. Oh, and toeing the dogma, of course. 😉
He should keep his effing toes off the dogma lest the karma run him over.
My apologies for the dreadful groaner.
::dies::
Does that mean the dogma’s been chasing the karma again?
“the whole premise of that thread on r/mr — shared by the OP and a lot of upvoted comments — is that a significant number of women are sperm-stealing monsters (specifically, succubi and boogeywomen). ”
Where does the OP say the majority of anything. He says that it doesn’t matter how the sperm was attained. Where does he actually say anything wrong? I’m not sure about all the comments, but you can’t hang those on the OP.
One of the comments you pointed out about taking sperm from a used condom, do you not think that would be predatory? What was wrong with that comment except that you think it’s unlikely? The question I would have is what the hell are you supposed to do with your used condoms.
@ David Futrelle
“Tom Martin seems to be the frontrunner for Troll of the Year”
Screw you!
John Anderson: Once again, you prove that MRAs fail at context, forever.
No, a man who opts to not have sex with women is not inherently misogynistic; I can think of dozens of legitimate reasons for such a decision, starting, of course, with “Asexual” and “Homosexual”. Others might be based on personal values, be it a belief in marital sex only, coupled with a desire to not get married at this time in their life, or perhaps a concern that, if the other steps of birth control fail, and a child is conceived, he would not be able to be a proper provider. All of these are at least neutral on the subject of the man’s character, and many are arguably even noble. A man who opts not to have sex with women because he’s afraid that one of these partners might steal his sacred semen from the condom afterwards, on the other hand? Yes, he’s a misogynistic twit, even if he can cite one of the few cases where such a thing has actually occurred.
@ David Futrelle
“John, Tom Martin had six threads devoted to him, five of them devoted to his comments here.”
That bastard.
“You, I had completely forgotten about.”
I’m hurt although I admit I only came back here because of a link someone left me on pandagon.
@ Freemage
” A man who opts not to have sex with women because he’s afraid that one of these partners might steal his sacred semen from the condom afterwards, on the other hand? Yes, he’s a misogynistic twit,”
So do you think that there are any reasons a woman might have for withholding sex in a relationship that would make her a misandric twit? What are they, I’m curious. If there are no reasons or if she needs no reason at all, why do you hold men to a higher standard? If the reasons for a woman’s no is unquestioned, why is a man’s?
@ clairedammit
“Why yes it is “predatory.” As in, not really predatory. BECAUSE IT DOESN’T HAPPEN.”
It’s been alleged and even admitted to.
http://www.mommyish.com/2011/11/23/woman-steals-ex-boyfriends-sperm-has-twins-sues-for-child-support-836/
“Because he wouldn’t give me what I wanted, I decided to steal it from him. I resolved to steal his sperm from him in the middle of the night. I thought it was my right, given that he was living with me and I had bought him many, many M&S ready meals.
The ‘theft’ itself was alarmingly easy to carry out. One night, after sex, I took the used condom and, in the privacy of the bathroom, I did what I had to do. Bingo.”
http://www.thegloss.com/2011/11/03/sex-and-dating/liz-jones-stole-sperm-302/#ixzz2GEhdTerj
“Joseph Pressil is suing his girlfriend Anetria Burnett because she allegedly took the sperm from their used condoms to a fertility clinic to get in vitro fertilization. Pressil also alleges that she was trying to get pregnant so she could have possession of his Texas home (Pressil now lives in Long Island), and child support payments.”
http://starcasm.net/archives/130812
Liz Jones admitted to stealing sperm, but said that she didn’t get pregnant from it. It does happen. I suspect that it happens more often than realized although not in large numbers. Generally, I believe that we’d only hear about the successful attempts and even then only if the child support were contested and the man didn’t think his condom failed. Like a woman telling a man she’s on birth control when she’s not. You see stories of women cutting babies out of other women and I would have never thought that would happen either. I’m not sure what the success rate would be for pregnancy resulting from stolen condom sperm, but I guess it’s just too bad for the guy it happens to. The life of one man is a small price to pay after all.
Everyone who would not be remotely upset if the kind of men who’re terrified of being spermburged decided not to have sex with a woman ever again raise your hand.
(Raises hand)
“So do you think that there are any reasons a woman might have for withholding sex in a relationship that would make her a misandric twit? ”
Aaaaand where did Freemage say these men are in relationships and witholding sex? There was no mention of that at all.
You know all this effort is wasted. You’re not gonna get Troll of the Year however hard you try.
(also raises hand)
“Do you think that a majority of men are rapists, murders, or robbers? Do you think that a woman who is uneasy around a male stranger at night in a secluded area is misandric? If stranded and given a choice to accept a ride from a male or female stranger, do you think that a woman choosing the woman is misandric? If a man were stranded, and the woman didn’t offer him a ride and there were no other rides available, would she be misandric?”
a woman has a 1 in 6 chance of being raped in her life.
a man has a 1 in a million chance of being sperm burgled.
ha ha though. the false equivalence was funny.
I’m late to the party but anyone else notice Melissa using the V word?
I was just thinking about this subject today. My thousand dollar idea – a sperm bank that caters just to paranoid MRAs. They come in and leave however many deposits they think they may need if they ever meet a woman who doesn’t leave them in a quivering pile of impotent rage, a woman who has fallen so low she has no choice but to hook up with an other-women’s-spit-encrusted Omega of a man. Once the MRAs precious ejaculate is frozen and guarded by armed Alphas, the onsite doctor will give the MRA a vasectomy so they will never have to worry about being spermjacked.
Then I realized it’s a business I could never start because I’m a woman and they’d see through my magnificent ruse to get their golden seed into my hellish black hole of baby-making horror.
For some reason, I have this song on my brain …. http://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en-GB&v=fUspLVStPbk&gl=GB
Somehow the last bit David quoted in the original post struck me as particularly and hilariously MRA. “If you’re rich, women will overlook all your flaws! Wait, sorry, you don’t have flaws, you’re a man! She will make up flaws that don’t even exist just to overlook them! And then turn into a frigid slut and steal all your sperms and make you pay alimony FOREVER.”
Is that every misogynist fantasy crammed into one rant? It just might be!
And veterinarians make a good living, but it’s not an area of medicine that really pulls in the $MONEY$. It’s also a field that’s largely and increasingly female, so this guy should probably learn how to deal with women as colleagues and equals before he works out his strategy for fending off sperm-and-money-crazed veterinary groupies.